It's just that Cheng Yan's sensibility and understanding of Hetu did not exchange for the peace of life, and after the initial period of depression in Hedi, his temper became more and more irritable. She doesn't care that her daughter is old and has her own ideas, she still treats her as rudely and simply as she did when she was a child, and Cheng Yan wants to leave home at every turn and run to her classmate's house for refuge like a life. Her possessiveness towards Zheng Xi is getting more and more serious, and she is even reluctant to let him go home, as long as Cheng Jiahua is not there, she will go to him, guarding him like a hunter chasing rabbits, this relationship once made Zheng Xi breathless, but these were dissolved by his love for her. Zheng Xi always felt that such a situation was caused by himself, and such consequences should also be borne by himself, and he became more and more humble, almost pleasing to love Hetu and her two children, as if he was the head of the family. After a long time, everyone seemed to be accustomed to this situation, except for Cheng Lin, this boy's temper and assertiveness were as obvious as his height, and finally one day, he broke out.

It was a warm evening, there was not a single cloud in the sky, and the moon hung high in the sky, casting its silver glow over the land. It was the vacation after the end of the second semester of the second year of Hetu High School, and it was also a short vacation for Cheng Lin to be approved by the shopkeeper to go home, and the whole family, except for Cheng Jiahua, was in that somewhat bleak and low living room, with their heads down and doing their own things.

It seemed that she couldn't bear this dull atmosphere, and she was chattering while doing the needlework in her hands, and what she poured out was still those old words, all of which were words that Cheng Yan and Cheng Lin's ears were about to grind out of calluses. In the mother's heart, no matter how old the child grows up, he still looks like a two- or three-year-old child, this sentence is not wrong at all, Hetu is still the two naïve children who don't understand anything, so when she talks about herself and Zheng Xi, she doesn't notice the increasingly gloomy expression on her young son's face. She was immersed in her story, her brow furrowed slightly, and a faint sorrow enveloped her face, as if the weight of the whole world was weighing on her.

When it came to the most painful part, when the storyline developed to the point where Zheng Xi was about to get married, suddenly, Cheng Lin stood up from his seat, and the cups on the table shook for a while, and he almost fell off the table.

"You still know you're married?" He kept his face calm and said coldly, the expression on his face was the same as the expression on Cheng Tielong's face.

He Yan was stunned, Cheng Yan was also stunned, and both of them looked at him puzzled.

"You're my mom, I won't say anything excessive, but do you think it's fair for me to do this?" Cheng Lin glared at Hedi, and spit out words from his mouth hard.

Only then did he react, she threw down the needle and thread in her hand, smiled coldly, and said, "Does your father still care about fairness or not?" You don't know what your dad and his family did? ”

"I don't care about that, I'm just talking about it now, do you think you're married, and you're still looking for a man outside, you-" Cheng Lin paused and bit his lip, "Do you want to make a face?" ”

Hedi's face changed almost suddenly, and she suddenly became stiff, and she looked at her son in disbelief, unable to believe that he would say such a thing to herself. When she came back to her senses, a wave of anger burned up from the bottom of her heart, burning away the little reason in her head, she threw away the needlework in her hand, stood up, stretched out her index finger and pointed at her son, who was a head taller than her, and scolded: "Is this your attitude when talking to your mother!" I didn't want to give birth to you, just to hear you say this about me? Do you still have a little conscience! Is your conscience eaten by dogs like your dad's! ”

"Don't swear! This has nothing to do with my dad, what does this ugly thing you did yourself have to do with my dad! Cheng Lin's face turned red, the mother and son glared at each other, and the atmosphere seemed to explode at the touch of a button.

Cheng Yan panicked for a while at first, but immediately calmed down, she pretended to persuade her mother and younger brother, but there was a hint of schadenfreude in her heart. On weekdays, they scold themselves together, but now it's finally time for them to scold each other.

He Tu was dizzy from anger, and he didn't care, he reached out and picked up a teapot from the side, and made a gesture to smash it on Cheng Lin's head. Cheng Lin stiffened his neck, looked at his mother condescendingly, pursed his lips, looked at her stubbornly, and didn't hide for a while.

Hedi's hand stopped one centimeter in front of Cheng Lin's head, her movements froze, and she looked at her son with wide eyes and shock. For a long time, she threw away the teapot and turned around and hurried to the bedroom. Cheng Yan faintly heard a trace of choking from her footsteps, and her mother cried.

This is one of the few times that a mother has shown tears and weakness in front of them. As soon as he heard this fragile voice, Cheng Lin's body collapsed suddenly, and he looked at his mother's figure apologetically and angrily, with a very contradictory expression on his face.

Cheng Yan sat down silently and didn't look at them, because she knew that she had better be quiet at this time, otherwise if she was not careful, the war would spread to the innocent her.

After this time, Hetu really realized that the two children had grown up and had their own ideas, and they no longer refused to listen to her thoughts and be her loyal listeners. However, she was still unwilling, she didn't believe that Cheng Yan was the same as Cheng Lin, several times, she called Cheng Yan to herself, asked some questions uneasily, and waited for her daughter's answer a little nervously.

"Xiao Yan, do you think your mother did something wrong?" He asked softly in a rare show of gentleness.

Cheng Yan looked at her vigilantly, not knowing what she wanted to say, and bit her lip, although she shouted in her heart, "Yes, you did something wrong!" But she shook her head anyway.

"Really?" He Tu was not at ease and asked again.

Cheng Yan nodded without hesitation.

He Tu sat down as if relieved, she looked at her daughter sadly, and chattered, "Mom's life is hard, I love to study when I was a child, but the family has no money, I can't study, when you reach the age when you should study, your grandparents don't agree to let you go to school, and your mother worked hard to get it." Mommy is the only one who is so sweet as you, look at your brother, alas—" she sighed, "you have to be nice to Mommy, or Mommy will really have nothing." ”

Cheng Yan looked at her mother, and her face showed a trace of sympathy and sadness, but her heart was not shocked, as if she hadn't heard anything.

Since that warm night, some changes have taken place in this home, although they are not visible on the surface, but these changes are clear to everyone. Cheng Yan didn't know what the rest of the family thought, and she couldn't see through it, she just felt that the urge to escape in her heart was becoming more and more obvious.

Even so, Hedi still goes out on dates with Zheng Xi from time to time, and becomes more and more bold, and less and less concerned about other people's opinions. She could even walk down the street hand in hand with Zheng Xi, not caring at all about the eyes of people who knew her passing by. It seems that she has put on a posture of breaking the boat, but she has nothing to break or sink.

Cheng Jiahua was gradually relieved, of course, this relief is not the kind of relief that lets go of everything, he reluctantly accepted everything in front of him, and understood that even if he closely monitored Hetu's life and didn't let Hetu go out to meet that man, but he always had his own things to be busy with, and he always had his own life to manage, it was impossible to take care of her every minute and every second, and even if he looked at a person's body, her heart was no longer with her, so what was the use of keeping her body by her side? However, he was holding back a breath in his heart, he just didn't want to let Hedu get his wish, and now that he also knew that Zheng Xi was married and had a son, his heart was even more satisfied, as if watching a play, watching these two people cuckold him in various ways. Now in his heart, Hetu is no longer a wife, but an enemy, and no matter what, he wants to make her unsatisfactory.

His quarrels with Hetu became more and more frequent, and almost every time they quarreled until they got into a fight. He couldn't tolerate her abuse of himself and his parents anymore, he was angry, and even beat her, the more he beat him, the more angry he became, and he didn't know the severity of his attack. The relationship between the two people is getting tighter and tighter, like a thin thread that will be broken at any time. This kind of quarrel has affected the two children regardless of the depth, Cheng Lin is okay, a mature boy, if he is not happy at home, he runs outside, and the family will not be too strict. And Cheng Yan, even if he goes out to go to the same school, he has to get his mother's consent, and his actions are extremely unfree, as long as he is at home during the holidays, he has to face his mother's sad face that will explode at any time almost every day. She felt more and more that this home was like hell, and she felt more and more that life was very depressing, and after rising to the third year of high school, the pressure suddenly increased, and she was almost out of breath. Only when the few classmates came to her house to look for her, she could feel a little more relaxed.

The first winter vacation of the third year of high school was not long, and two weeks before the start of school, Cheng Yan had to go back to school to make up for classes. It was very cold that day, she was doing her homework, and several friends from junior high school came to her house together, begged for a life, and then took Cheng Yan out to play for a while. When Cheng Yan went out, he told him to come back before dark. Cheng Yan frowned and reluctantly agreed, she deliberately made a good girl's appearance, but she stubbornly retorted in her heart: "I won't come back!" What can you do with me! ”

The three girls had a lot of fun, so happy that they forgot the time, and when it was dark and they could barely see the person in front of them, Cheng Yan reluctantly said, "I'm going back." ”

"It's so late, don't go back!" A girl pouted and said, "Go to my house and sleep, I'll ask my mother to clean up a bed for you." ”

"And what if my mom scolds me?"

"You just said that you slept at my house, it's okay, I'll ask my mother to call your mother later?"

Cheng Yan pursed her lips and laughed happily, she grabbed the hands of her two little friends, and walked forward happily. When my friend's mother called her mother, she stood aside and listened anxiously, until the aunt hung up the phone and laughed and said that her mother had agreed, and she cheered happily, and the two little girls went into the house and held each other's hands and talked about their hearts.

This night was the happiest and freest night she ever had.

However, on the way home the next day, Cheng Yan ran into his mother who was going out. Her face was originally quite bright, dressed up brightly and beautifully, probably to meet with friends who had made an appointment a long time ago, but when she saw Cheng Yan from afar, the corners of her mouth suddenly drooped, and when she got closer, she glared at her daughter viciously, and scolded in a low voice: "I see that your wings are stiff now, dare to spend the night outside?" You wait, wait for me to come back and see how I clean you up! The last sentence, she almost gritted her teeth and said it, so frightened that Cheng Yan trembled, and stood in place in a panic, not knowing what to do. It wasn't until she couldn't see her mother's figure clearly that Cheng Yan turned around in fear and looked at her mother's expression, she wouldn't let herself go, so what should I do? What to do?

Cheng Yan almost cried home, the house was empty, she opened the door, but did not go in, sat on the steps, helplessly thinking about the way to face her mother. She remembered her mother's harsh scolding of her in the past, and even reprimanded her for not taking off her coat when she ate, and those words and phrases now seemed to be as painful as if she wanted to cut off her heart piece by piece. She recalled, from the time she could remember, that there were not many scenes of her mother's tenderness for her, and all that lingered in her heart were those foul words that seemed to scold the enemy. She has heard those swear words since she was a child, and she doesn't know how many grievances she has suffered and how many times she has cried for no reason. She remembered desperately, the sun hung in the sky, the sun shone on her, but she didn't feel a trace of warmth, as if she had fallen into an ice cave. What will her mother do when she comes back? She wondered in fear, would it ...... Will......

The more she thought about it, the more she felt that life was boring, it was a seventeen or eighteen-year-old girl in her youth, but she had the idea of committing suicide. In addition, studying in school is so hard, in front of her classmates, she always feels inferior, dare not make friends, even if she has good friends, she does not dare to say what is in her heart, when others talk to accidentally mention her name, and inadvertently say a word, she has to ponder for a long time, for fear that she will accidentally do something wrong and make others angry. She seems to have had enough of such a careful life, and I'm afraid it's not interesting to continue with this kind of life. Thinking desperately, Cheng Yan got up from the steps, turned around and walked towards the house, rummaging through the drawers, and piling up a pile of cold pills on the ground.

"Can you die if you eat these?" Cheng Yan thought in her heart, she was suddenly a little nervous, panting rapidly, but a joy and hope rose in her heart that she was about to be liberated.

"No matter, eat it first." She hurriedly opened the pill box, took out the pills, stuffed them into her mouth, and swallowed them with water. She sat down at her mother's dressing table, solemnly tidied up her appearance in the mirror, and waited quietly, but nothing happened, and she didn't even feel the slightest physical abnormality.

Cheng Yan stood up uneasily, estimating the time when his mother would come back. Suddenly, a flash of inspiration flashed in her mind, and she remembered the scene she had seen on TV where someone else cut their wrists, and maybe, that was the only way to do it. Cheng Yan bit her lip and ran towards the kitchen, she nervously picked up the sharp kitchen knife, gestured at her wrist, closed her eyes, bit her lip tightly, and her face was almost wrinkled into a ball.

"It's okay, it's okay." She comforted herself, "It's coming to an end, you don't have to put up with them scolding you anymore, you don't have to desperately encourage yourself to live every day, you're about to be free." She took a deep breath, slashed her right hand harder and slashed down her left wrist.