"What's wrong?" Madame asked.

I panicked, "My back bag, my back bag is gone-I put the adult's egg jade in my back bag, and I remember the one I carried on my back-"

Madame smiled: "Fly-the girl said this piece of moonshine, right?" She seemed to suddenly realize that her title was wrong, and immediately replaced "Fei'er" with "girl".

She took out a black cloth bag from under Shangguan Yan's pillow, and gently pulled the tightly tied strap on it, revealing a cold white.

I breathed a sigh of relief and said, "It's good that I didn't lose it, I thought I was lost in the hurry, and I was shocked." ”

Madame quickly put away the egg jade and stuffed it back under Shangguan Yan's pillow, the egg jade was so beautiful and beautiful, normal people would want to play with it in her hand for a while, but she immediately put it back as if she didn't want to take more in her hand for a moment, this kind of blunt behavior made me feel not like what she should have.

I looked strangely at Madame's sad expression in her smile, this thing that Shangguan Yan cherished was like a treasure, but it seemed to make her very taboo.

"Moonlight egg jade, constant light is undefeated, cold than candle flames, dark than pearls, it is indeed priceless, Yan'er has been inseparable from it since the day she got it, once Li'er joked with him and amused, hid the moonlight in the box and put it in the pond for him to find, he knew that he was desperate to throw himself into the pool to pick it up, and as a result, he contracted the wind chill and was bedridden for several months. Since then, no one has touched this piece of moonlight in the house, and this moonlight is a priceless treasure to him, but it is more like a curse to us—"

Is this piece of egg jade really so heavy for Shangguan Yan? I thought he was just a little lantern that he didn't need to light with him, and used it for lighting when it was dark.

Madame stroked Shangguan Yan's face again, and said helplessly: "—If Yan'er wakes up and can't find it, she will be very anxious, so when I change the girl's clothes, I will put it away first, forgetting the ward girl, and causing the girl to worry." ”

I shook my hand and said, "No, I'm just afraid that I will lose such a valuable thing, and I don't know how to pay for it." ”

Madame smiled: "This moonlight is not a worthless treasure, but just a shining stone." I often think that if only I could be ruthless, I would ruin this moonlight and break his thoughts. ”

"I don't know if this egg jade is unique, but I've heard adults say that this moonlight is a gift from an old man, yes - what kind of friendship is it, the person who gave him this egg jade must be very important to him, and his mind cannot be wasted."

Madame raised her eyebrows slightly and said, "Oh? Will Yan'er tell the girl this? ”

I waved my hand and said, "No, it's just that I happened to see this egg jade once, and I was a curious person, so I asked a few more questions." ”

Madame raised her eyes lightly, leaned towards me slightly, and said, "The girl runs around at night to give Yan'er an umbrella, and Yan'er will relieve the girl to avoid the cold, your friendship must be good, right?" ”

I was stunned, my heart suddenly beat fast, and said: "No-no, the adult has helped the family with many things, and this time it is because we left him at home to eat before the rain, so it is reasonable to send an umbrella, and the adult is dressed for me, but also because he is kind-hearted, and he wants to repay my love for sending an umbrella, so he will ...... will ......"

Madame laughed, so deeply that I did not dare to explain further.

She gently took my hand, touched the embroidered cocoon on my finger, frowned slightly, and said softly: "Yan'er is a political patrol history, patrolling the political affairs everywhere in the south and the north court, he stays in every place for a short time, the long is three months, the short is half a month, the mother always hopes that he can settle down as soon as possible, find a gentle woman to lean on the door for him to light a candle, but every time I want to mention this matter to him, he always cleverly avoids it and does not want to mention it." But the sea of people is vast, the end of the world is vast, you can't go to the earth alone, don't you say? ”

I nodded and said, "Well, it's true, Lord Shangguan's character and ability are all first-class, and many people have inquired about it not long after coming to town, but they only know that he is not married, but I don't know what the reason is." Later I found out that he had a previous engagement that had just fallen—"

Madame's smile immediately froze, and she said, "Did he tell you?" ”

I shook my head, "It's not like it was told to me—"

Madame withdrew her hand, clasped her hands tightly, as if she was holding back something, and said sadly, "It's all my fault." ”

I looked at her: "My lord said, he never blamed Madame, when he fainted on the western slope, I heard him dream all the time, I don't know what he was talking about, in short, he said that he didn't blame Madame, you must be talking about the same thing, right?" ”

Madame flattened her mouth lightly, as if she wanted to cry, bit her lip, and said, "Did he really say that?" ”

I nodded, although this lady is much older than me, she is so soft and weak that she needs to be protected like a little girl: "Really, he also said sorry, Mrs. You are worried, he has never blamed you, just blamed himself." ”

The lady muttered: "Yan'er, what a stupid child...... Tears rolled down her eyes.

I lowered my head and pretended not to see it, but I was a little panicked in my heart, if Shangguan Yan woke up and saw me crying his gentle and delicate mother, it should be very distressed.

Fuye, who had been silent, thoughtfully handed over the towel and asked the lady to wipe her tears.

Mrs. said: "How much does the girl know about the marriage contract that Yan'er said?" ”

I shook my head and said, "My lord didn't elaborate, only that I regretted that I couldn't share my head with such a girl." Hey, I always feel that adults have a lot of worries, but they don't talk about it......"

Madame smiled, and that smile was full of self-deprecation and helplessness: "When he was at home before, he and Li'er had a good relationship, and he would still talk to Li'er, and since the separation, he should have no one to talk to." ”

I don't know why this marriage fell through, but I know that these two people should have a grudge in their hearts, and this resentment is a silent blame in the eyes of Mrs.

"It's been ten years, and it's almost eleven years, and a good thing that was intentionally promoted has unintentionally turned into an injury that cannot be subsided. It was a disaster......

I frowned, disaster?

"Many times I can't help but ask myself, whether I want a healthy but capable governor son who can't be around, or a sick and weak son who can be intimate and homely, but there is no answer, I can't selfishly keep the child by my side, but I can't control the occasional greed, especially when I look at other people's children Chenghuan's knees, I can only rely on Hongyan to send thoughts. Raising a child is 100 years old, and he has a long sorrow of 99...... I don't even know which Yan'er will be happier. If I had to go back in time, I'd rather we have nothing, but we could have each other......"

Madame was full of tears, and gently stroked Shangguan Yan's frowning brow.

But sometimes, having each other sounds like a simple wish, but in fact how luxurious it is, who would want to give up all life opportunities and be inseparable from you for the rest of your life?

I looked at them in amazement, remembering that Zheng Jewel seemed to have said something similar, did all unhappy people want to go back in time and go back to the time she remembered the most? But will you really be happy when you go back?

What about me? If I could really turn back time, would I want to leave everything I have now behind and go back without hesitation?

I couldn't help but reddened my eyes when I looked at them, I envy Shangguan Yan, I envy him for having such a real and undisguised care as his mother, how many times have I been unconscious, I hope that every time I open my eyes, I can see my father's worried frown and my mother's distressed tears, but no, I have Xia Xia's crying and swollen eyes, and a hoarse "Sister Fei", but now this is enough for me. If people are greedy, they lose more.

"When you are young, are you not in good health?" I swallowed the tears that were about to come out of my eyes and asked.

Madame nodded, and quickly flicked away the tears that fell: "It's only to blame that I was sick when I was pregnant with him, Yan'er will be weak and sick from birth, and every time the cold disease occurs, he will be cold to the bone, and the pain that is cold to the bones cannot be shared by his mother for him, no matter how much quilt he covers, he can't warm up, and no matter how many stoves he gets, he can't relieve his shivering." He once told me that he wanted to blow the spring breeze happily, and he wanted to run happily in the wind, but I couldn't meet such a simple wish......"

Yes, there are a lot of innately dismissive thoughts that you are accustomed to, but are the extravagant thoughts that others have always expected.

"Because he was born like this, he is used to being quiet and warm, so he doesn't feel anything wrong, and his brother at home also takes care of him very much, and he has never been sad about anything, on the contrary, he knows how to think about people, treats people and things very decently, and tries to want everyone to be happy, except for a weaker temperament, everything else is very good."

I nodded quickly, no one understands these better than me, haven't I also been weak and sick since I was a child, and my temperament is so soft and soft? Han Sanxiao always thinks I'm a soft egg, Song Lingjian must often think that I can't be helped, and Xia Xia always holds grievances for me, saying that I am too easy to be bullied, but if you are often sick in bed, you can't get angry, you can't get angry, how can you have so many sharp tempers?

"Madam, can I ask why that marriage collapsed?" I really want to know, would love to know.

The corners of Madame's mouth trembled, and she was already weeping silently.

"One year, we found a famous doctor for him, and his illness really improved. In order to keep the master to remove the root of Yan'er's disease, we also tried our best to share the worries and relieve the work of the master, for the good of the two families, the master has a daughter of the right age in the family, and she just happened to be married to Yan'er. So we made a marriage contract for the two, and when Yan'er's body is stable, it will become Qin Jin's good. ”

I nodded, feeling a little sour in my heart: "This is really good, that girl must be a terrible character, right?" ”

Mrs. did not answer, and then said: "This is a happy event, I thought that the marriage date could be set soon, but I did not expect that the girl was strongly opposed, she was a person with a strong character, and the struggle with the family was fruitless, she actually found us all the way by herself, refused the marriage in front of Yan'er, and returned home and cut off her hair and righteousness with her family, burned down the village where she lived, and never returned. ”

My eyes widened.

I always thought it was the marriage of the girl's family, but I didn't expect it to be her own reluctance to marry Shangguan Yan, the marriage has never been the words of the matchmaker of the parents, and the girl is really bold, she even cut her hair and ran away from home and did not want to accept this marriage-