Later, I ran out of the hospital, and along the way, regardless of whether it was dark or not, I just walked in a daze, walking in the direction where Jia Qi was. There was no one on the road, but I didn't have the slightest fear, as if in my consciousness, I was not afraid of these two words at all, my mind was full of Jia Qi's smiling face, and what Jia Qi said to me.

She said, "In the future, we will be best friends, my parents will be yours, and I will be your relatives, so you will not be alone!" ”

She also said, "I'm jealous of you, you said that I haven't seen you read more books than me, why are your grades better than mine?" ”

"I'll tell you, my mother said, if you go home on vacation today, you will follow me back, if you don't go, I won't be able to go home, so you have to go back with me today no matter what!"

"Why don't I go to your house today, I want to go and see, I don't want to go home today, I finally have a day off, I really don't want to study, but I just need to go home for a while, my mother has to force me to study, it's so painful, you help me, you help me and tell my mother: I'll go to you, you help me make up for the class!" Jia Qi grinned, bared his teeth, very cute.

"Xiaoqi, I want to see him now, I can't wait, but he is abroad now, and I can't see him if I want to!" This is one of the few things she will be troubled by, and now that she thinks about it, she really likes this person! How could someone like that not be liked, even I myself was deeply involved!

Finally, it was dawn, and I saw Jia Qi's home. Standing at the door of the community, I was timid, I didn't dare to go in, I didn't dare to knock on the door, and I didn't dare to listen to the cries of my uncle and aunt, compared to me, an outsider who has only been with me for two years, they are the most painful!

I only hate, why didn't I hold her at that time, why I didn't fall down at that time, why didn't I die! In this way, everyone is happy, uncles and aunts don't have to be sad, and no one will be upset by my disappearance! No, Jia Qi, it should be uncomfortable, but if it's uncomfortable, there will always be a past day.

But now, the hurt, the pain is the three people, uncle, aunt, and me, oh no, there should be the boy she hasn't had time to meet, right? Why did such a good family suffer so much because of me? I don't understand, and I don't need to think about it at all, so many things, from my birth to the present, so many things, what do you want to explain, don't you understand?

Isn't it me, Wang Jiaqi, I don't deserve to be cared for by others, and I don't deserve or deserve something that others can easily touch. All the people who want to be good to me, so I like them, will eventually leave because of them.

Eventually, I was standing in front of the door of the room, and the noise was noisy, and the cry was accompanied by a sound of comfort, which reminded me of the day I was standing in front of the outer bed. History is always so similar, I once again sent away the person I care about the most, will it be like this in the future, is it always me who stays for the end, the most painful?

But this time, it was different, I couldn't go in, I couldn't go in and look at the man again. I knocked on the door, but the people inside were not always smiling and soft-talking like before. Instead, it became a sharp language, a sentence and a word were like a sharp knife, scratching my heart, one by one, but not the kind of painful and happy, but the kind of very slow and slow movement, I could even clearly feel the lines of the knife, feel the shape of my cut wound.

"What are you doing here, get out, you're not welcome here" People who usually speak so softly, but at this moment, they completely ignore it, foul language, and bad words to each other, "Get out, didn't you hear, you still have a face, if it weren't for you, would Qi Qi have died, if it weren't for you, how could she leave us like this, she was so obedient, so good".

The door that opened with a "bang" was closed again. Cut off my thoughts, cut off my hopes.

Yes, if it weren't me, if it wasn't me, if it wasn't me, but I wouldn't want to, I really didn't want to, I also wanted her to be good, and she would be fine for the rest of her life, then my life could be changed!

At this moment, no one asked me the reason at all, didn't ask me what the process of this matter was, perhaps, in everyone's eyes, Jia Qi was killed by me, and she died because of me, and I seem to think so. It doesn't matter how things happened, and there is no need to say or explain at all, what matters is the result! And the result was that Jia Qi, on the way to climb the mountain with me, died, and I was fine.

Sometimes I wonder why no police came to question me at that time, why didn't they arrest me, arrest me, and I wouldn't have to hang around outside with such a person!

I went back to my home, and I wanted to let the excitement of the school wash away the pain in my heart, but I couldn't even get in! When I came home, I was cold, without a trace of anger, and I thought that I should be like this, without a trace of anger, so as to deserve the atmosphere here!

But why didn't anyone ask me, no one asked me how I felt, how scared I was, if I was hurt? Some are just me, I'm lonely, I'm so cold, I'm so scared!

I don't know how I lived that day, I don't seem to remember the events of that day, I know, after that day, I changed, became colder, more silent, even more silent than the period when my grandmother just died, the whole person was groggy, every day I only knew how to stare at the book, but I couldn't read a word, and I also knew to go to the cafeteria to eat, but the things in my mouth seemed to be chewing wax, and I also knew to sleep, but every time I would wake up from my dream in the middle of the night, and then I would close my eyes and lie down until dawn. Waiting for the next day, repeating the previous actions, the days that were repeated even reached an outrageous gap.

During that time, I really seemed to be completely out of this world, only my body was wandering here every day, but I didn't have a soul or a soul, I don't know where my soul and spirit went, maybe I went with Jia Qi to find my grandmother, maybe it has dissipated!

I lived like that for a long time, until the head teacher came to me, and I knew why he was looking for me, it was just because my grades had dropped so much during this time. Also, during the exam, I could write and stop writing, and there were not a few words on this test paper at all.

"Wang Jiaqi, have you had anything to do recently, you are now in your third year of high school, this is a critical period" The head teacher said seriously, this student is a pity.

I didn't speak, what did I say, I could speak, looked at the head teacher, listened to him, but I didn't hear anything? Hang your head and look at your toes.

"Did you hear it, the teacher knows that there are some bad rumors in the school recently, you don't have to care, study hard now, you are still too young, some things, will always pass, so the future is the most important, as long as you keep going, what you don't understand now, you will understand it in the future, and then come to see these, you can know, what everything that happens now means" The head teacher persuaded.

It's just that I didn't quite understand it at the time, but I have to admit that there are a few words that made my soul move, which I buried and disappeared for a long time, and finally I am no longer the walking dead I used to be! Maybe I shouldn't have been depressed like this. After that day, I didn't feel anything about the outside world, but I seemed to feel something again.

But if I knew what it would be for me, I'd rather not.

I have wasted so much time, and my original intention is to ignore what is going on outside the window and concentrate on reading only the books of the sages. But just because I don't listen doesn't mean that those words really won't reach my ears. No matter where I am, no matter what kind of environment I am around, I can hear those people muttering there, and there will be a look of disdain in them, and wherever I go, those people will move away from me, as if I have a terrible virus in me.

I don't have to think about it to know what those words are about, but I can't stop that many mouths. I couldn't resist the fists that those people threw at me, and I couldn't stop the disgusted gazes of those people.

This time, I'm really, alone! In fact, thinking about it, the warmth I had in those two years was all brought to me by Jia Qi, and now, as if I was punishing me for not grabbing her hand, the beauty she brought me was also taken back and disappeared with her. She once gave me the best youth in the world, but she also deprived me of the last youthful breath.

That period of time was the time when I grew the fastest, and I, who had no youthful atmosphere, was even more sudden, and the sequelae left behind were irreparable. Maybe I shouldn't have the bright memories of those good years in my life.

I studied hard, and the head teacher's sentence of 'as long as I keep going down, keep going, I can see the whole story' gave me a lot of motivation. Or maybe it's because I'm unwilling, it's that I don't understand, it's because I want to know what everything I've experienced is for, and what my final result will be, so I try my best to find, chase, and fight against this unfair fate.

I once thought that I had found the final result and saw the final answer, I thought that Jiangxi Yan was different, I thought that the purpose of my experience was to find him, I thought that as long as I worked hard, as long as I didn't give up, I could crack this fate, I could change the trajectory of this voyage, I thought that as long as I didn't give up, I could finally wait until the day when I came to run, thinking that my final result would be a good one.

But now, just like the other side of the mountain or the mountain, in the end, at the end of my efforts, I saw another ditch, and even this ditch, it may kill me, this time I really don't know if I can cross the past, and I don't know if I still have the courage to cross it, because I don't know what is on the other side of the ditch, I don't know what I will go through after I cross it.

Me, can I still see those results? Can I still find those answers? Can I still have the day of transshipment?

(End of chapter)