On March 28, 2016, Chiba wrote a diary "It's Impossible".

"It's Impossible 2"

I used to think that it didn't matter if my interests and specialties were not good for work, and it would change my taste in the face of the reality full of helplessness, just like my own interests while studying when I was a student, wouldn't it be nice that neither would be delayed? Reading famous books and touching stories, looking at Lu Junya nimLu Junyation, writing down inner thoughts, playing table tennis, taking a walk, meditating or lying down in the lawn under the tree, looking at the little blue sky and white clouds, etc., but imagine that after working in a specific position, almost doing the same thing every day, this is different from learning every day, in terms of learning, the learning of primary and secondary schools is forced by teachers, and you have to learn if you don't want to learn, especially for urban children, In rural areas, parents will agree to do whatever they want, and after college, except for the compulsory learning and high school, the other learning* parts are out of hobbies, and in terms of work, some jobs deal with machinery, some jobs deal with computers, some jobs deal with geography, some jobs deal with animals, some jobs deal with plants, and some jobs deal with others...... Once you can't match the meaning of your life, you will feel bored and bored if you do too much of the same thing, and then the motivation will be close to drying up, and if you don't have motivation, you won't have the spirit of doing your best work, except for those who love money.

Some people may say that when you really enter society, you will give in, just like you give in to drinking, don't you refuse to drink alive or dead? Don't you refuse to drink on any occasion? Didn't you refuse to drink at your last dinner after graduating from college? So, why did you drink in the end, and still drank and cried, about drinking and smoking, there are almost few men in a village in Phoenix Village, Xiangxi, who don't do this, my grandfather and grandfather are very good at drinking, but after my grandmother died, my grandfather couldn't drink, every time I discussed with a few aunts during the New Year to visit his old man's house together, the meals were full of words, inexhaustible, many of them talked about the things of their time, and once smashed the whole door down, the pain was divided into two kindsThere is an external pain, such as a cut on the hand, this kind of pain is good to apply a little medicine, and there is a deep inner wound, this kind of pain is useless no matter how much medicine is applied, only the recognition and comfort from the hearts of others can be cured, and some pain will be too intense for people with insufficient depth of thought, so they can't bear it, the whole person has changed, and has become decadent after being tortured and can no longer stand up, and later heard on the phone that the grandfather unfortunately fell into the pond and died in a drunken state. Grandpa once went to the hospital for a check-up, and the doctor also reminded him not to drink anymore, on the contrary, my father was one of the few non-smokers and non-drinkers in the village, and later worked too hard, so he drank a little beer to quench his thirst. The reasons why I don't want to drink alcohol are very simple, one is that baijiu is really hard to drink, and it is a heaven and a hell compared to Fandabi, two is that my parents also reminded me not to drink a drop of alcohol, and three is that once I touch something, it is absolutely impossible to get out, and I am not 100% confident in myself, so I can not repeat the mistakes of the past. The reason why I compromised later is also very simple, the mentor and my fellow brothers and sisters are very good to me, and when I deal with other groups in the future, I may be able to come in handy to share a little for them, especially for our teacher, I don't care how I will hit the wall in the society if I don't drink in the future, I would rather mix very badly, even if I crawl underground for a lifetime, I will not touch a drop of wine, I am willing to do so.

There is nothing left to completely break my heart, and there is no more mutation that can force me to empty my past again,

After all, following one's heart, showing the difference between oneself and the world, conveying what one has completely conveyed, realizing the value of one's existence at all times, and living without a trace of regret and unwillingness is the true meaning of people's lives.

Like it, hate it, accept it, or can't accommodate it, that's me, that's the truth,

Caring too much will only lead to losing yourself and forgetting what really matters.

I haven't worked yet, and I am humble and laughing......