During the first winter vacation of college, Xia Qianye applied for a new QQ number in the Internet café in the township, and added Lu Junya, on the surface, it was said that it was aimed at the public before, and this Q plus was more talkative, but in fact, only one of her was added. Then, he began to talk to her more often, he wanted to talk to her about everything, he couldn't help himself, he even talked to her about high school things. The screen name of the new QQ account is "Shilan".

Xia Qianye: Junya, I thought quietly for a night, and just dreamed of Wang Anrong, a high school English teacher, who wrote in her comments: "Don't forget the grammar part after learning, this time you should reflect on your ......." In the past, I had to change my QQ information (username, signature, and description) every other stage to tell others that I had changed. It turned out that it was just because I lacked a few friends that I could trust, a few friends who shared happiness and sorrow with me, and could tell them anything, so I had nowhere to say anything new and the cause of the pain, so I tried my best to tell the public, but sometimes I still felt troubled and felt that there was no response; I keep saying that others don't understand me, and I don't understand others, but I don't have a sharp eye, and I don't choose who I want to know, and I can't choose who I talk to and listen to......"

Loving you is equal to loving yourself, because we are very similar, attracted by the very different lives of you and the nest, just for a while, people can never love others more than themselves, people are good at the beginning, similar to each other, we are all orphans in this beautiful world, looking for their own kind, only to find out that they are not lonely, not monsters, not a person in the struggle.

This is what he saw in a journal called Why Lu Tao Doesn't Love Milley, and he very much agrees with the views of this article. And often use it as a guide for their own lives.

Tomorrow you will turn into a snake and start devouring people, with that devouring mouth, screaming that you still love me, can I still say the words of love for you like today?

Just after the end of the Chinese New Year, he came to the school about 20 days early, and the whole building was empty, and only four or five lights were turned on at night. His grandparents advised him not to go so early, but he didn't listen, he secretly planned to go early, do more homework, and repay his family.

Today, he dreamed of his relatives again, thinking about the alarm clock in his ears, he looked at the empty beds around him and the gloomy sky outside the window, and he didn't know if it was day or night......

There is a girl in the class with the screen name "Simple Happiness", and another girl named "Simple Happiness". He felt that life could not be so simple, and the other day he tried to give up some things, but then he felt that he couldn't.

In each stage of the period, in fact, we can do a lot of things we want to do, not just do these things, but when we do something, what is in our hearts, life is already colorful, why care so much, why give yourself so many restrictions, growth may refer to our understanding of the misery of the world and the complexity of the human heart after still insisting on ourselves, still smiling in the face, confident, strong, risky and brave to rush forward, constantly renew ourselves......

"Blue Fruit General" is Lu Junya's nickname in their bedroom, and they also have "concubine" and "emperor" in their bedroom. Here is his own inner monologue.

Xia Qianye: General Blue Fruit, you told me that people's hearts are not as complicated as we imagined, cherishing a person may be more empathetic to her thinking, we are indifferent on the outside and enthusiastic on the inside, loneliness is a heart worthy of understanding to seek understanding but can not be obtained, a person who is neglected will pay more attention to his inner world, a focus on creation will also lead to the alienation of interpersonal relationships, I like to communicate with others very much, although I know that there are not many people who can understand themselves, different environments create different people, When my parents went out to work in the third year of junior high school, I rarely went out at my grandfather's house, and I rarely talked from then on, and I liked to be alone......

Xia Qianye: I don't know what I want to express in my heart and what you can see and what you understand, how much difference there is between the three, yes, some things will only know what it feels like if you really experience them, I chose her, not she chose me, high school class teacher Xing Chihong said that masters are lonely, many books also say that great people are lonely, I like to read famous stories and novels and animation, because whether professionally or ideologically, I want to be an absolutely superior person, to go to the forefront, to surpass the peak! As long as you have enough strength, you can disdain the laws set by society, you are right, at least I am now telling the thoughts that I can communicate in my heart to people who are good to me and can understand me a little, some things can only be said to some people, the more you talk, the greater the risk, and then spend more time with her, trying to understand a person as much as possible from all aspects......

This kind of monologue is fatal to him, and if he doesn't get a response from the other party for a long time, she will be difficult to replace in his heart.

This kind of crush was very hurtful, and he expected that he might not be able to bear it, so he upgraded the original Shilan to the second version!