Old man Zhou stared at me with wide eyes, a hideous smile appeared on his face, I know him, the evil ghost that day, opened his mouth to reveal two long fangs.

Looking at the scene in front of me, I felt that my scalp was numb for a moment, and the blood in my whole body was almost cold.

Old man Zhou opened his mouth and was about to bite me.

"Fuck you!"

I screamed, picked up the urine and poured it into the side, and poured it directly into his mouth, and the sound sounded, and a puff of black smoke suddenly came out of Old Man Zhou's mouth, and he lay down again.

There was a sudden smell of urine in the room, and I took two steps back, grabbed a handful of talisman paper from my hand, and looked at the coffin cautiously, for fear that he would suddenly burst out again.

After more than ten minutes, there was no movement, the smell of urine made me feel sick to my stomach, and I quietly poked my head to see that Old Man Zhou's mouth was black, as if it had been poured with sulfuric acid, and the fangs were gone, but the nails had grown.

I finally breathed a sigh of relief, and secretly scolded Lin Jiuxiang in my heart, this fucking is purely to scare me, this evil ghost is also cheap, and he has to drink some urine to settle down.

I'm afraid that something will make a mess again, after all, this moment in the early morning is the heaviest yin qi, the sun comes out, I pasted the talisman paper all over the coffin, urinated another bowl, caught the little black dog, whistled in his mouth, and wanted it to pee.

The beast did not listen to me, and turned its head to look at me as if it were a pervert, and I pinched its little twitter and pleaded; "I beg you, pee."

Finally, it was dawn, the main family came to burn paper, stabilized the smell of urine here, and looked at me with a strange look, when they saw Old Man Zhou's mouth blackened, and then smelled the smell of urine, their faces were even more ugly.

I hurriedly explained, told me about last night, I am not a dead pervert, pee in the mouth of a dead man, besides, this little black dog also pees.

After listening to what I said, and then looking at the changes in Old Man Zhou, they were suddenly frightened, and Aunt Zhou asked me, "Then what should I do?" ”

I also had no idea, so I could only say: "Wait for my godfather to come, you burn paper as usual, and cry when you should cry!" ”

As soon as I finished speaking, a woman in her forties howled at the top of her throat, crying without tears, and she didn't know what to say in her mouth, and I couldn't understand it.

A few people supported her, looking too sad, and went to the coffin, but when she saw the hideous face in the coffin, she screamed in fright, turned around and walked out.

I sat there lit a cigarette, looking at the rising sun outside, and sighed in my heart, people are warm and cold, like the world drinking water, cold and warm self-knowing, but unfortunately he is already dead and can not die again, the so-called crying and mourning is just crying to others.

It wasn't until nine o'clock in the morning, the sun was high, Lin Jiuxiang was late, I really doubted that he was too timid, afraid to see Old Man Zhou's corpse, he looked at me and smiled very obscenely, and said, "How is it?" He didn't make any moves. ”

"It's just a bowl of urine." I don't have a good airway.

"Don't worry, I'm here." Lin Jiuxiang patted me on the shoulder and said, "I'll be buried today!" ”

I looked at him, I always felt unreliable, but it was good to be buried, at ten o'clock in the morning, the coffin began to be sealed, the outside was shrouded in the sky and the net, the talisman paper sealed the coffin, and at the same time the coffin was oiled Zhong Kui, it can be said that all the means that can be used have been used.

The cemetery was selected in a forest seven miles away from the south of the village, sitting in the south and facing north, the grave pit was three meters five deep, when the coffin was down, the head was up, the feet were down, the peach stake was padded under the foot, the peach stake was driven down to see the groundwater, and the red heart of the eight classics was the trend of the water.

This kind of tomb, on the one hand, can exorcise ghosts and calm the soul, and on the other hand, it can take care of future generations, which is very good for Old Man Zhou.

Finally settled down, the coffin began at eleven o'clock at noon, and the paper was burned at twelve o'clock, and the banners were erected, because twelve o'clock is the time when the yin energy is the heaviest, the time for the second alternation of yin and yang, and at one o'clock at noon, the yang energy is flourishing, and the burial time.

With the sound of the horn of 'filial piety and less pain', the eldest son knelt and cried, the families of horses, dogs, and rabbits avoided it, and the coffin of the mourning hall was raised, and I looked at the trembling coffin, and I had a bad premonition in my heart.

Ten young men and young men can't lift the coffin, as the so-called people are afraid of three long and two short, ghosts are afraid of three short and four long, after the death of the person only has three souls and seven spirits, missing three less four, that is a sign of evil ghosts.

The faces of the ten guys were flushed, and the coffin trembled, but they couldn't move, Lin Jiuxiang whispered to me: "Please Zhong Kui!" ”

I hurriedly turned around and rummaged, took out a villain from my bag, put a cinnabar pen in my eyes, and drank in a low voice, please come quickly, walked towards the coffin, and put the villain directly on the coffin.

The next moment, the ten young men almost threw the coffin out, but suddenly it became lighter, as if carrying a ball of cotton.

"Leaving home!!" I shouted, everyone fell to their knees and cried bitterly, the coffin was carried out, and there was nothing in between, and I was secretly relieved.

got on the hearse and went straight to the middle of the village, the drummer was already waiting, burning paper, saying goodbye, and all the relatives stepped forward one by one, and there was nothing for more than an hour, and it seemed that there was no problem.

I was also secretly relieved, I didn't sleep all night, at this moment the two eyelids fought, walked to the hearse and leaned on the car to squint for a while, before I could squint, I saw Zhong Kui on the coffin suddenly burn himself.

The talisman paper that sealed the coffin was soaked with dark red blood, and the rope of the snare shattered with a thud.

"Meow!!"

There was a cat meow in my ears!

"My mother!!"

I screamed, and hurried to find where the broken cat was, and the grief-stricken relatives also found out that something was wrong, and immediately stopped crying, staring at the coffin with wide eyes, and their expressions were full of horror.

I looked around but didn't find the cat, but there was a cat meow behind me, I turned around to look, the black cat was squatting on the coffin, I don't know if it was an illusion, it smiled at me, as if it was laughing at my self-determination, and then began to scratch the coffin board with its paws.

"Bang!!"

The coffin lid jumped a little.

"I'm Nima!! The corpse is deceitful!! ”

In an instant, everyone rushed away, only Aunt Zhou and the eldest son stood there and did not move, Lin Jiuxiang turned around to get something, I looked at the eldest son and sighed and said: "It's still the eldest son who is filial, not like those bastards." ”

"I... I'm so weak that I can't run. The eldest son trembled and cried with his arms.

I'm speechless!

The coffin was still thumping, the black cat kept scratching the coffin, there was an ink line in the way, and it couldn't get out for a while, I took a deep breath and told myself to calm down.

Lin Jiuxiang brought something, walked over, took out red candles, copper coins, copper bells, red threads stained with chicken blood, and took out a stack of yellow talismans, I picked up the candles, stepped on the seven star steps, and began to walk around the hearse, according to the direction of the Tiangeng earthly branch, standing in the Kun position, shouting in a low voice as urgent as a law, the rune paper burned, lit the candle, put the copper coin under the candle, tied the red line, and hung the copper bell on the red line.

In a moment, the red thread of kung fu wrapped the hearse, the flame of the candle was very high, and there was a blue light in the middle, the coffin suddenly fell silent, and the black cat wailed desperately, and the sound was like a cat calling for spring, which was very permeating.

"Ten minutes left, it's all right." Lin Jiuxiang looked at his watch, and after twelve o'clock in another ten minutes, the yang energy would skyrocket.

I was secretly relieved.

But before this breath could be relaxed, a flock of crows suddenly flew over in the sky, covering the sky and the sun.

I've never seen so many crows, and the next moment, the coffin slammed, the lid cracked, and the candle flame shrank rapidly, as if it were going to be extinguished in the next moment.

"Cut off the wax fire, catch the yang energy of heaven and earth!" Lin Jiuxiang shouted at me.

I silently recited the mantra in my heart, stretched out my hand towards the candle flame, the flame danced in my hand, Lin Jiuxiang reached out and grabbed the banner in the hand of the eldest son, lit it with the flame in his hand, and danced.

The crow swooped down and came towards the coffin, but when it saw the flames, it flew away.

I looked at the time, there was only one minute left, and the crow flew away, and when the time pointed to twelve and one o'clock, there was only one crow left in the air, and its body was extraordinarily huge, like an eagle, rushing straight towards Aunt Zhou.

After crashing into it, Aunt Zhou fell to the ground, lost her breath, and her life was robbed!

I squatted down and looked at Aunt Zhou, I had an indescribable feeling in my heart, the husband and wife are very good people in the village, but why are there always good people who don't live long, people like Niu Saburo can live for more than eighty, why did she die a good death.

Aunt Zhou followed the old man Zhou directly to the burial, Lin Jiuxiang simply changed the feng shui and turned it into a mandarin duck peach tomb, which can be regarded as a little heart, and no one in front of the cemetery cried.

No one is watching it here, and the people in the village won't say that whoever has a son or daughter doesn't cry a word, and they are raised in vain.

I watched the coffin being buried in a trace, in this life, I cry and come, others cry and leave, but when I cry, it is really crying, who can be sure that there is a bit of truth in the cry I heard after I died.

I now agree more and more with the saying, I was chic and happy in life, and I was in charge of the flood after death.

In the past few years, I have handled too many funerals, and I have seen too many people's warmth and coldness, maybe I have seen too much, but it makes me a little sentimental, my profession is very similar to a midwife.

They are in charge of life, and we are in charge of death.

When I went back in the evening, the host paid the money, packed some meals for us, and stuffed a few cigarettes for Lin Jiuxiang, I didn't sleep for a day and a night, I was too tired, but everything I experienced in the past few days made me a little trance.

When I got back to the door, I stood there and said, "Godfather, did someone kill me?" ”

"Why do you ask so much?" He patted his body, this is the custom of Mr. Yin and Yang, and when he went home after the funeral, he patted me and said: "You are still too young, go to school with peace of mind, look for a job well, in the future, if you can do this, don't mess with this." ”

"What did you study?"

"Computers!" After I finished speaking, I suddenly remembered that I seemed to be about to start school.