4. I miss him too

Liang Shan was drunk, Fan Shan and Lao Zhang said that they took turns, but the squad leader insisted that he carried Liang Shan on his back and sent him downstairs to the girls' dormitory.

The eagerness in the squad leader's eyes was all seen by Liangzi, that's right, no wonder every time Liang Shan yelled to go out for a drink, that person was always free, no wonder Liang Shan every time he played the glory of the king, that person was always a teammate...... The truth is about to come out, but Liangzi suppressed this life and put it into a corner of his heart. Forget it, if the parties don't break it, why should she do so much, fate comes and goes, it all depends on personal creation.

After that, Liangzi supported Liang Shan and reluctantly went up to the fifth floor.

As soon as he walked to the door, the dormitory door opened, revealing Wang Xiao's anxious face behind the door, seeing Liang Shan's drunken appearance, he couldn't help but feel even more guilty, and hurriedly stepped forward to help, put Liang Shan on the bed, and helped take off his shoes and socks, and helped to change clothes and wipe his face and wash.

"Liang Shan, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that kind of heavy thing to you at noon, it's all my fault, I will treat you like that when I am dizzy......" Seeing Liang Shan lying on the side of the bed looking like he couldn't vomit, Wang Xiao didn't sit or sit, thinking that Liang Shan's drunkenness was all because of himself, which made his son's brows tightly knit and his face wrinkled.

poured a glass of warm water for Liang Shan, Liang Shan waved his hand and said that he couldn't drink it, so Liangzi simply took a stool and put the water cup next to Liang Shan's bedside.

"It's because I'm too sensitive to say that you target me everywhere, but that's not the case, Shanshan, I was angry at the time, so I talked nonsense, I'm sorry, I'm sorry......"

"Don't blame yourself too much, Liang Shan didn't drink like this because of you, blame me, I see that she is very happy, so I didn't stop her."

At this time, Liang Shan struggled to sit up from the bed, "What are you talking about, I want to drink myself, does it have anything to do with you?" I'm begging you, don't take all the bags on yourself, okay, okay-no-okay? After speaking, Liang Shan clasped his hands together and kept making gestures of please.

Wang Xiao looked even more uncomfortable, and the tears fell down in large pieces, Yunyun saw that the situation was wrong, and hurriedly got off the bed and took a tissue to appease Wang Xiao, Wang Xiao cried very painfully, the tip of her nose and eyes were red, and her shoulders shrugged.

"Wang Xiao, don't cry, in fact, you are not wrong at all, after he left, I did become the ghost I am now, I dare not hear others mention him, I dare not think of him, but do you know? I tried hard to forget that he was here, and tried to make myself do something else to distract myself, but when I went into the cafeteria to buy food, I thought of the first time we met, he knocked me to the ground, and stood stupidly on the side, not knowing what to do; When I went to the library, I thought that I said that he didn't have any literary temperament, so he stayed in the library all day reading books; When I went to the playground, I thought of him obsessed with playing basketball...... Really, you don't know, I can still clearly think of the location of every little pox mark on his face when I talk about it, really, I'm going crazy, and sometimes I feel like I can't breathe. ”

The first time I saw Liang Shan crying so hoarsely, everyone in the room had red eyes, listened to Liang Shan quietly, and wept silently.

"I also want to forget him, but no matter how hard I try, he just stays in my heart, I miss him, I really miss him, but what can I do, what can I do, everything is not him, everything is him. Wang Xiao, I really didn't mean to laugh at you, sometimes I hope to be like you, what's wrong with being alone? You don't know this kind of feeling, you don't know how uncomfortable this feeling of missing someone is, it's not particularly painful, but every minute and every second without him is like being delayed. Sometimes I don't have the strength to think about the future, and how many days like this will have to be spent before I can forget him...... But I don't complain, if I do it all over again, I will still choose to meet him and fall in love with him. ”

Liangzi walked to Liang Shan's bed and sat down, and took the initiative to hold Liang Shan in her arms, as a friend, she was completely derelict in her duties, all the time, watching Liang Shan laugh and laugh with everyone every day, I thought she was fine, but tonight I listened to Liang Shan's story, and realized that Liang Shan's heart was so struggling, and all the feelings were pressed heavily in the bottom of my heart.

The word "love" is different for everyone, some people's love is like a storm in summer, it comes and goes quickly, this kind of person cries a hangover, and after talking to friends, the past is over; But for some people, the aftermath is like the drizzle of the rainy season, no matter how you toss, you have no way to take it, there is a great sense of drawing a knife to cut off the water and the water is more flowing, sometimes people have a mind, vowing to interrupt this affection, but after waving the fist, they find that the punch is as weak as hitting the cotton. Liang Shan is the latter, love is deep in the bone marrow, which can be cleared up.

Wang Xiao and Yunyun also rushed up, opening their arms to protect Liang Shan and Liangzi, and the four of them cried again.

Finally coaxed Liang Shan to sleep, appeased Wang Xiao, when lying on his bed, Liangzi really felt heavy, like carrying several souls, this heaviness is completely different from the fatigue of running more than ten kilometers, the former is like the helpless weight of being wet by a storm on the quilt that was carried to the yard to dry, and the latter is the softness and weakness after all the corrupt gas in the body has been emptied, and the natural mood is different, the former is a grievance with nowhere to tell and no one to complain, but the latter is a kind of relief after excretion.

When I opened WeChat, there were countless messages sent by Huo Heng.

"Are you back?"

"Why did you eat with your classmates for so long?"

"Tell me when you come back."

"It's ten o'clock, why haven't you replied to my message?"

"I'm a little aggrieved that you don't let me call you at night."

"I'm worried about you."

"If you don't reply, I'll call you."

"Are you back?"

……

Fingertips quickly clicked on the screen to reply to Huo Heng's message, urging him to hurry up and sleep, and he didn't have the heart to talk for a long time. I turned off my phone, closed my eyes, and couldn't sleep for a long time.

I really want to ask Liang Shan, obviously carrying such a deep love, obviously still waiting, why don't you be bold to contact him and tell him. But she can't ask, everyone has their own unspeakable hardships, just like she can't tell Liang Shan how much struggle her heart is.

Through the little light coming in through the window, I saw Liang Shan curled up and asleep, I don't know if I will dream after getting drunk, and I don't know if that person can enter her dream. How can I help Liang Shan? There is no way to turn it over and over, and if you can't resist love, you can only hide. I can't help but think of myself, for the sake of Huo Heng, I would rather be humbled to be a third party who can't see the light.

Which one is not hateful and which is not pitiful?

Plugging in the headphones and listening to music, it was Deng Ziqi's slightly hard but lingering voice, as if he was confessing, "I want to listen to the music you have listened to, I want to read the novels you have read, I want to collect every moment, I want to see the world in your eyes, I think of the places you have been to and the time you have spent, I don't want to miss every moment, I hope I will always be by your side......"

There are 12 years of distance between them, and every year, every month, and every day in these 12 years, there may be big things happening, and these 12 years have made a lot of differences between them, for example, he said that his favorite singer is Nicholas Tse, and she said that her favorite is Wu Yifan. He always insisted that the old songs were more flavorful, but he secretly downloaded the same music software as her, listened to her playlist quietly when she was alone, and tried to find out the clues of her mood from every song she listened to recently; Every time he asked her what she was doing, she replied that when she was reading, he couldn't help but wonder why she was always obsessed with books, and always took the time to read her reading list after asking for it, so that after reading it, there would be a common topic to discuss with her.

It's not that I don't know his love, but when I finally affirmed that he loved himself, Ryoko inadvertently turned to her Weibo.

So, it's also the time to decide to leave.

5. Addicts

Sina Weibo is indeed powerful, some things, you want to or don't want to, intentional or unintentional, even if you hide in Tibet, you always have to see it.

Liangzi became more and more energetic, opened his mobile phone Weibo, and found that there was a small red dot prompt in the upper left corner of the personal page, click on it to see, and accidentally saw Huo Heng's Weibo in the address book where he added friends, the avatar should be a photo of his son, a very cute little boy, his eyebrows and eyes really look like him.

Huo Heng's Weibo is not interesting, it is just some forwarded content, nothing more than about parenting, about football, and some are actually forwarded lottery. Ryoko wanted to laugh, it turned out that this was his spare time.

Really...... It's boring.

Even so, Ryoko slowly scrolled down, browsing one by one, comparing the dates, fantasizing about what he had done all these days.

Then, he saw his wife's Weibo.

Liangzi's heart was beating suddenly, and he stared at that Weibo for a long time.

To see, or not to look.

Then I heard a gurgling sound in the veins of my head.

After all, it can't resist the drive of curiosity, and the fingertips touch lightly.

Deliberately, I want to find a little fault, with a hint of evil, 1,258 Weibo posts from beginning to end, two-thirds of which tell about the trivial things about the little guy in life: various reactions during pregnancy, all kinds of troubles and touches brought about by the growth of the little guy bit by bit after childbirth, and the interaction between the little guy and Huo Heng. Flipping through the photos of the little guy, in his arms, lying on his stomach, standing, sitting, sleeping, eating, crying, laughing...... Each one is so pure and innocent, with the childishness and agility exclusive to children, which reminds Ryoko of the white clouds in the blue sky of his hometown. Then, Liangzi thought about how bad she was, to hurt such an innocent and innocent child so ruthlessly.

The remaining third is a narrative of life, positive, optimistic, and complaining. If you really let Liangzi pick a bone in her eggs, it is probably because she doesn't like to take selfies, and she can't see what she looks like. But where is the fault of that family? A vivid image clearly appeared in Ryoko's mind, a woman who was as gentle as the spring afternoon sun, a woman who only had a beautiful imagination of the world, and a woman who was soft and coquettish even if she complained about life.

Beautifully, so unreal.

Like a finished lily oil painting.

Liangzi admits that only such a beautiful person deserves to stand by Huo Heng's side.

was already guilty, but now, he will fall into the bottomless quagmire of self-blame, and he will not be able to extricate himself for a long time.

I'm sorry.

Ryoko said for a long time in her heart.

I don't know when I fell asleep, and it seems like I haven't slept much after a night. I always thought that there were mosquitoes in the dormitory, and when the whole body was itchy, I closed my eyes and scratched it, and I couldn't stand it in the middle, so I sat up and applied a layer of dermatitis flat to the whole body, and it wasn't until I got up in the morning that I went to the toilet and found that the whole body was red lumps, especially the root of the thighs and the entire back, and there were dense red lumps under the ears and neck, and the more I scratched, the more itchy I became.

Ryoko was a little flustered, how could there be so many lumps for no reason? I didn't know what to do, so I had to ask for help from everyone who was asleep. After everyone was woken up by Liangzi, Liang Shan's first reaction was allergies, he couldn't take care of washing, put on his clothes and ran out, Wang Xiao chased him out, and went to the school hospital with Liang Shan, and in less than ten minutes, the two ran back in a hurry, took a box of cetirizine, and let Liangzi take it, and Liangzi felt much better.

No one went out that morning, staying in the dormitory to observe the changes in Liangzi's body, Liang Shan was the most worried, thinking that he should have dragged Liangzi out to eat barbecue last night, and accidentally ran into an allergen. Allergies can be big or small, some people only have skin reactions, that is, dermatitis, and some will have allergic asthma, shock, allergic rhinitis, hay fever, etc., and in serious cases, it is fatal. Therefore, Liang Shan blamed himself a little, thinking that he had to force Liangzi to eat those junk foods and let her drink cold beer. The more I thought about it, the more guilty I became, and I kept guarding the allergic Ryoko every step of the way, and I was relieved until all the redness and swelling on Ryoko's body had subsided.

In fact, Ryoko has a trace of peace of mind after being punished.

She has done so many bad things, and this is the punishment God has given her.

But thanks to Liangzi's thrilling allergies, everyone was in a hurry, and there was no time to think about what happened the day before, Wang Xiao and Liang Shan were as happy as if they had never quarreled, so that Liangzi had a momentary illusion that yesterday's nonsensical fight was just a dream.

In fact, no one has bad intentions, and no one wants to really hurt anyone.

Near noon, everyone ordered takeout, and one of them ordered a yellow braised chicken rice, Liangzi teased Yunyun and finally had a reunion dinner with everyone in the dormitory, Yunyun blushed and joked, if Brother Heng is also a student, I am afraid that I will not see Liangzi for the whole month.

Then Yunyun suddenly proposed that if she didn't take advantage of everyone's presence, she would simply continue to be decadent in the dormitory in the afternoon, and let them hell if they studied or something, and she and her boyfriend Zhang Chengxin invited everyone to eat hot pot in the evening!

Yunyun and Zhang Chengxin have been talking for two years, the relationship is relatively stable, when the weather is hot in the summer, the two rent a house near the school, they have seen each other's parents, and they are more satisfied, if there is no accident after graduation, Yunyun may be the first to get married in this dormitory. But no one can say for sure about feelings, Liangzi can only hope that Yunyun can be more cautious, and happiness is the most important.

Eating hot pot together in Fumingxuan at night, for some reason, I always feel that Zhang Chengxin's attitude towards Yunyun is not very good, he has been eating his own things with his head stuffy, and Yunyun is running errands when he goes to get sauces or something, and Yunyun has been helping him with vegetables.

Yunyun made Liang Shan and Wang Xiao's self-created tomato soup for Zhang Chengxin to drink, Zhang Chengxin refused without giving face, the atmosphere was embarrassing for a while, and the lively atmosphere depended on Wang Xiao and Liang Shan chattering on the side.

Liangzi couldn't help but secretly compare Zhang Chengxin with Huo Heng. In the end, it is much older, Huo Heng is mature and sophisticated, and he has found out everyone's personality traits from her in advance, and he is very comfortable with dealing with a few little girls who are about to graduate, and he did not snub everyone present when he spoke, and the atmosphere has been very lively. However, Zhang Chengxin is not bad, although he doesn't say much, he is stable and sincere.

When I look back and complain that I am stupid, how can I casually compare people with others? It's disrespectful. Moreover, every couple has their own mode of getting along, Yunyun is a typical paying personality, and Zhang Chengxin is the best person in Yunyun's eyes.

Thinking like this, Liangzi began to blame herself for comparing Huo Heng with others, in her eyes, Huo Heng is the only person in this world, the best person, and she is not even willing to show off.

But......

After eating hot pot, several people proposed to go to KTV to sing at night. I bought a box online, and as soon as I sat down, Mai Ba Liangshan and Wang Xiaoyin held the microphone and didn't let go, and at the beginning, they sang "Love When You Die" with a hoarse throat, which made Zhang Chengxin sit beside Yunyun with a confused face and cover his ears, and he didn't go out, Wang Xiao also took the microphone and directly called Zhang Chengxin as Yun's brother-in-law, and asked her if she sang well, but seeing that the honest Zhang Chengxin and the four girls came to this kind of place, it was difficult to sit still, and when she heard the word brother-in-law, her whole face was even more embarrassed, and she didn't know how to answer.

After a few songs, Zhang Chengxin's courage slowly let go, and the interaction with Yunyun became more and more intimate, Liangzi couldn't help but observe the small movements between the two, in fact, Zhang Chengxin seemed indifferent, but in fact, his eyes were full of watery spoiling when he looked at Yunyun, the kind that can overflow if he is not careful.

Ryoko couldn't help but feel envious.

This is the unscrupulous, this is the fair.

It's a pity that she always has apprehension and uneasiness in the sweetness of loving Huo Heng.

couldn't help but open the phone to share the situation with Huo Heng, took some photos, and never sent them, it was ten o'clock, just simply said goodnight to him.

The lights in the room kept changing, and after a long time, Ryoko couldn't help but feel dizzy and lonely.

Liangzi just talked to Huo Heng to play, so he didn't bother anymore, leaving her plenty of time and space.

But there was no in-depth communication and exchange with each other that night, and Liangzi felt that life seemed to be missing a piece, but it was obvious that he had made up his mind to leave him first, why didn't he get used to it before he implemented it?

In this day, Liangzi did not take the initiative to contact Huo Heng once, she answered whatever Huo Heng asked, and tried her best to make her tone cold and cold, without any emotions. This was the first step she took, but this small step alone made it difficult to persevere throughout the day.

At twelve o'clock at night, Liangzi came out of the KTV to breathe, the street was much colder, many shops were closed, and there were only 24-hour convenience stores with lights left in addition to KTV and bars.

There are three KTV stores on this street alone.

Taxis lined up in an orderly manner at the entrance of the KTV, some masters sat in the car and smoked with the windows open, and some simply got out of the car, half-leaning on the car and chatting. When Ryoko passed by, a driver asked her, "Hey, little girl, where are you going?" "The gesture is to open the car door.

Ryoko waved her hand and went straight to the convenience store.

The salesperson was a young girl in her early twenties, with short hair, light makeup, and a silver ring in her right ear, and she was full of energy to brush her Tik Tok, and Ryoko walked in but failed to attract her attention to make her look up.

"A box of Jiaozi X."

Ryoko stared at the female cashier.

The female cashier slowly put down her phone, took out a box of Aiki from her pants pocket, took out one and handed it to Ryoko.

"How about trying this?"

Ryoko took a slender cigarette from the saleswoman, habitually lowered her head to find a lighter, only to find that she didn't bring a bag, and then she heard a "click", the saleswoman lit it, grinned to the side, and Ryoko also smiled back, clamped the cigarette between the index and middle fingers of her right hand, leaned forward, lit it, and then the two stood silently in place.

Ryoko gently puffed on the smoke with a cool minty aroma, watching it slowly dissipate, then disappear, then take another puff, and repeat itself.

"How's it going?"

"Not bad. First time pumping. ”

"Oh?"

"I've only smoked a coquette."

"You don't look like a smoker. Quite a story? ”

"No, it's just that I'm not used to changing, I smoked it at first, and then I kept buying it."

The saleswoman raised her eyebrows, quickly glanced at Aixi in her hand, and said, "A box?" ”

"It's still a petite."

The saleswoman flattened her mouth, took a box from the small shelf in the back and handed it to Ryoko.

Ryoko smiled, "How do you feel like a nursery?" ”

The saleswoman snorted lightly and pulled out another dot, "Let's talk?" ”

Ryoko shook her head and pointed to the KTV diagonally opposite, "My friends are still on it." ”

When she stepped out of the threshold of the convenience store, Ryoko suddenly turned around and asked, "You say, does one person have to be another?" ”

"Huh?"

Without waiting for the saleswoman to answer, Ryoko walked out.

The long night was long, and Liangzi had enough time to think about this problem, and sort out all the things between her and Huo Heng by the way.

At the beginning, Liangzi felt that her life was all dark and boundless, she couldn't even see who she was, and all she thought about all day was death, but when she met Huo Heng in the hospital with a depressed atmosphere, the dark and boundless life revealed a glimmer of light, Huo Heng was the light, the direction that Liangzi's eyes were pursuing, but Liangzi knew that she couldn't get it, she just had to watch it from afar;

But when fate was tightly entangled, when she met Huo Heng again later, she came to interact with Huo Heng with the attitude of living one day at a time, she didn't expect anything from him, as long as he had her in his heart, it was enough to talk to himself every day, because she knew that this light was the light of someone else's house, the light she stole from her, and at the same time, she was also on guard against it, not daring to let him step by step into her own life, afraid of making him an indispensable part of herself;

But later, she wanted more and more, all his care, all his attention, she wanted to prove that he pretended to be himself in his heart through temptation again and again, and he was used to having his life but still forced himself not to get used to it, or pretended not to get used to it.

What about her now, she has become a devil step by step, she even began to be jealous of his three-year-old child, jealous of that woman who rightfully slept next to his pillow every day, she was already used to the unaccustomed brought by Huo Heng, and now she was going to let herself peel her skin and cramp to get used to it, damn the unaccustomed to it, you say ridiculous?

Ryoko is no longer the same Ryoko she used to be.

Now Liangzi is like an addict, habit and love are like marijuana, when he is sober, he knows that he can't touch it, he can't touch it, but he is still dizzy and generally prefers it to unreasonableness. When he was with Huo Heng or chatting, he was fluttering and wandering in the clouds, but when he became alone, Liangzi began to go crazy again and began to think crankily, just like an addict who sold all his clothes and couldn't get together the money to buy marijuana on the street, Huo Heng was the smoke that swirled, and Huo Heng was the damn opium and flakes that he couldn't ask for and let his life be worse than death.

When he returned to the box, Yunyun fell asleep on Zhang Chengxin's lap, Wang Xiao half-leaned on the sofa, leaning on one arm and yawning sleepily, only Liang Shan was still holding the microphone, and sang the heartbreaking "Say Scatter" with a solemn expression: "I neglected myself just because I met you." I can't help it, it's terrible, that I'm not like words, I've been desperate, I'm too stupid...... Just think I'm too troublesome, keep hurting myself, I tell myself, feelings are like this, why is it too crazy accidentally......"

When I met Huo Heng, was it wrong?

Ryoko thought like this, then give yourself a deadline, and you can love him again.

When the deadline comes, all love is gone.