1. Compromise

When I go out for a run at night, along the way, I always think about what kind of label is appropriate for myself.

Exercise is really an abusive thing, just lazy for a month, there is a feeling of physical exhaustion, I must have red cheeks at the moment, messy hair, scratched with my hands, and then a strand of broken hair in front of the forehead, long hair is really troublesome.

Sweat slowly flowed down the forehead and cheeks, and when he turned his head, a bead of sweat happened to flow down the collarbone all the way into the cleavage, and a gust of wind blew, cool and itchy, like a small ant crawling on it, and suddenly remembered the sticky touch of Huo Heng's tongue slipping on his chest like a teasing. I wanted to laugh a little, so I stopped, my left index finger reached in to wipe away the bead of sweat, and the tip of my tongue touched it, and the salty and sour taste that quickly spread to her entire mouth reminded her of the peach in the corner of the dormitory table that was weak and rotten, and some of it had turned black.

Liangzi likes peaches, and it just so happens that Huo Heng also likes to eat them.

Ryoko likes to listen to the crisp sound of half of the pink crisp peach being bitten down, likes the bloom of the taste buds brought about by the juice meat being crushed by the teeth in the mouth, and prefers the fine layer of fluff on the peach peel, but Ryoko is allergic to this layer of fluff, if you don't clean your hands immediately after contamination, the skin that has been touched will have a dense red rash, which is extremely itchy and unbearable. When choosing peaches, Liangzi always chooses those big, half-red, fluffy ones, and then put them under the nose to smell whether they are sweet, this is the method that grandmother taught Liangzi to pick melons when she was a child, and in memory of the hot summer afternoon, grandma will always take her to the field to buy melons, because she is familiar with the melon farmer, she can pick them in the field by herself, Liangzi jumps into the ground like a bird, pouts her little buttocks, and her nose goes up to smell whether the melon is ripe and sweet, and now this method is used by her to choose various fruits. Like a perverted and distorted psychology, the process of slowly rubbing off the fluff with her fingertips in the still basin of clear water, revealing the original pink appearance of peaches can always bring mental relaxation and comfort to Ryoko. If you want to see your truest self like a peach, should you peel off a layer of hair or peel off a layer of skin......

The playground was renovated earlier this year, the running track and football pitch are bright green and blue, and a large chandelier is installed in the central area, and the dazzling light spreads from the middle to the periphery, basically illuminating most of the playground, but it is becoming more and more dark on the edges. But it's also true, the brighter the light, the darker it becomes. Slowly pacing on the playground, feeling that I was covered in water, touching my back, it was already soaked with sweat, thinking that the bra was already soaked, I felt more and more sticky, my calves were sore, and I didn't want to go any further, but I still had to push forward. There were a lot of people running at night, one after another with the smell of sweat running past Ryoko and then far behind them, and when they ran forward along the gradually brighter and darker trajectory, what was in their minds? Love, friendship, affection, future, present, study, work...... Or is it that he is the only one who has a full heart?

Future...... What is it like? There is still more than half a month to graduate, the thesis is a mess, and I have been called back by the tutor countless times, and I still don't want to use the pen to revise it, today to push tomorrow, tomorrow to the day after tomorrow.

"Anyway, I can always finish it before the graduation defense."

Always holding this kind of natural straight attitude when the boat goes to the bridgehead to do something that I don't want to do and don't want to face, this is Liangzi, a cowardly, cowardly, and lazy person.

The circle of friends is full of whereabouts, some of the classmates and friends around me have been admitted to graduate schools, civil servants, and some have signed companies and institutions, only I am still wandering around like an autumn dandelion. I thought I had already made a plan, but when I was about to graduate, I realized that I had only made a directional decision, and others seemed to have even planned the road and only walked forward step by step.

"Well, I want to sleep."

"The troubles and troubles of finding a job in the future will be left to my future self, and now I will eat, drink, and sit back and wait for graduation."

It's always like this.,I feel that the trouble is simply put aside and ignore it.,There's wine today and I'm drunk today.,Happy day by day.,I feel like a big ostrich who hides when he's in trouble.,But ah.,Just like the name of a Japanese drama I watched a few days ago.,Escape is shameful but useful.。 Is there such a black hole that allows Ryoko to get into it and rest a little, forget all the troubles in this world, and just sleep for a long time.

The phone vibrates, and the screen displays Huo Heng's WeChat avatar.

"Why? It's supposed to be running at this time, right? ”

"Hmm."

"Shall I invite your roommates to dinner? Next time I go to their house, I'll invite someone to dinner. ”

"No, it's not necessary."

Ryoko's stubbornness has come up again, why? Why do you have to invite your roommates to dinner? Does it make sense even to introduce him to all the people around him? He's still a family man with children! When he sulked, he thought very badly about Huo Heng, did he think that he would be able to tie his heart in this way? She doesn't care about anyone, no one can influence her thoughts, and besides, why should two people without a future add to their troubles?

Liangzi couldn't figure out Huo Heng's thoughts, and he didn't know how to describe the chaos in his heart.

"Why?"

"You're drinking. Drunk? ”

"Didn't drink it."

"Tell the truth."

"Invite the dean to dinner, you know, that little at work. And, you know, eating and drinking are all things that you can't avoid at work. ”

"I didn't say anything about you."

"Then I'd rather you say more, you're always so indifferent, I'm so insecure."

"Hmm."

"Liangzi, why can't people do things seriously when they work, and have to engage in those flattering things...... Is there something wrong with me or is there something wrong with this world...... I want to throw up, I hate ......"

"Huo Heng, is there anyone else next to you?"

"Nope."

"I don't know what to comfort you in this situation."

Liangzi stopped sadly, for Huo Heng's troubles, for his own powerlessness, and for the unspoken "I have always been by your side" in his throat. Huo Heng's world, after all, he can't squeeze into it.

I knew he was in pain, but I couldn't do anything.

Still...... Become a stumbling block in his way.

Raising his head gloomily and looking at the night sky, is this all he can give Huo Heng?

"I'm sorry, Ryoko. I shouldn't have whined at you. ”

"It's fine. Hopefully I'm your outlet, even if I can't help much, and I'm enough to be someone to talk to. ”

"I love you."

……

"I love you so much. I love you, I love you, I love you. ”

scolded secretly in his heart, Huo Heng, your uncle.

will only say I love you, what a vulgar man.

"Are you crazy? I don't want to talk to you. ”

With her eyes roaming around in the darkness, Ryoko coughed dryly, cleared her throat, lowered her voice to speak, and walked away quickly from the exit of the playground, afraid that someone passing by could steal all of Ryoko's secrets just by hearing a few words.

"Don't hang up, don't hang up, I just want to simply invite them to a meal, thank you for taking care of you in the past four years, I just want them to know that you are also loved by someone else, am I wrong to do this?"

"Are we ordinary lovers? Why do you have to make the city all known, see my friend, why don't you take me to meet your friend? ”

The night view of the campus is very good, the light of the street lamp is slightly shining on the surface of the lake, when a light wind blows, stretch out your hand to feel the wind and feel the rhythm of the weeping willows by the lake, the toes follow the heels, step by step slowly moving forward, watching the sometimes heavy and sometimes light shadows growing and shortening under the street lamps. I wish I could always be hidden in the dark, so that I could not see anyone's expression, and I could not be discovered by others, everything was not in the dark, I couldn't see the light and I couldn't see the beautiful things, it didn't matter if I compared, it didn't matter, whether I couldn't see ugliness, hypocrisy, selfishness, whether everything could be balanced, whether this world would be gentle with those who were also struggling in the quagmire.

Ryoko is very afraid, afraid that things will become troublesome after being staggered and entangled, like a ball of fine thread, and the entanglement can only be completely broken by scissors in the end. Isn't one plus one two plus two bad, why do you have to get nine four four and sixteen in three or three, why does this world give birth to all things in one life, damn it, just thinking about it makes me feel inexplicably sad.

"Why don't you believe that I have to think of me like this? If you don't say it to your friend, who will know? You're really thinking too much, and besides, I just want to announce this to the whole world, so that your friends can feel at ease to hand you over to me, and most importantly, let them all know that you will be happy, and this happiness is what I give. I beg you, really, promise me......"

There was a slight sobbing sound intermittently coming from the telephone receiver, and Ryoko's resisting heart suddenly softened, what is there to be entangled, cut through the mess quickly, then make a risky decision, maybe what you are afraid of will not happen at all.

It's not that he doesn't understand, he can't see clearly, the loopholes between the lines of his words and other things that take care of the left and right, but Liangzi's heart is so soft that there is no surprise. Yes, sometimes I feel that Huo Heng is stupid, even stupid, it can be said that these times are purposefully chosen to ignore or shrink it indefinitely, but that does not mean that Liangzi does not know Huo Heng's shortcomings, on the contrary, Huo Heng's shortcomings Liangzi may know better than himself, but knowing the fact that Liangzi still loves him, even if he feels like a little insect entangled in cobwebs, the cobwebs are damaged and full of loopholes, and he can escape with a light struggle, but Liangzi is willing to die, I am willing to wait for this old and bulky spider to crawl over and be eaten away willingly. How amazing, Huo Heng is the only bond that Liangzi still lives in the world, and he actually loves this drunk man who only shouts at the phone and loves her loudly while disgusting.

2. Bitter 5.20

After hanging up the phone, I felt ridiculous, yes, why must Huo Heng be allowed to make loud noises in her own world, but she could only hide silently in the dark corners of his world, and she didn't even have the right to speak out.

But I think Huo Heng is cute, it turns out to be an old man who is drunk and will cry like a child.

I'm really drunk, my tongue can't be straightened, and I can't speak well.

It's not that there is a time when I drank high consciousness but was very sober, and my head was full of roaring thoughts, and I wanted to talk to Huo Heng about it.

A little lucky, when Huo Heng was drunk, the person he thought of was himself, and it was this weak and small thought that defeated all doubts about whether Huo Heng was playing with himself.

I don't want to try to guess how much Huo Heng's words are true and how many are false, this world is true and false, what is true and what is false, in the world of Liangzi, they love each other, that is, it is true.

Women, you only believe what you want to believe. It doesn't matter, how can you not be discovered by others, and are you afraid that others will know about it? If you do something bad, be prepared to be punished at any time.

Yes...... I finally came up with the most suitable label.

One...... Villain.

After hanging up Huo Heng's phone, walking on the way back to the dormitory, I can sometimes meet the little couple who are snuggling together and whispering, seeing them standing on the edge of the river kissing me and me, I will eat an inexplicable dry vinegar, thinking of Huo Heng's performance yesterday, the bitterness that spreads from my heart to the tip of my tongue swallows itself like the sea.

Yesterday was May 20th, and I had been looking forward to it, but I never thought that Huo Heng didn't say anything.

Only a half-day message prompt sounded a little pricked Liangzi's nerves, and his fingertips swiped across the dialog box between WeChat and Huo Heng, and it was a chat with a match.

When the mind is empty, the time is stretched for a long time

There was no wind, but the book was moving

The words are anxious like ants when the rain is coming

And then

A song is not a song, and a song is no longer a song

Lie down, close your eyes, and lean in front of the window

Can't breathe

Fear deepens the alienation that has accumulated for hundreds of kilometers, and dilutes the air that flows with his smell

Liangzi was bored in his chest, and wrote this sour poem on Weibo, and no one liked it after an hour. And what is there to care about, that person will never see it.

"Miss you."

"I'm listening to a song."

"Think about me."

"Okay." After pressing the send key, Ryoko's fingertips paused hesitantly for two seconds, and then clicked quickly on the keyboard: "I wish I missed you a little less." ”

"Why?"

"No why, so many whys."

His throat was itchy, he took a deep breath and exhaled heavily, trying to dispel the bitterness that was surging up in his chest, feeling more and more that Huo Heng was clumsy, and he couldn't read the deep meaning hidden between his words, or he just pretended not to understand. "Dust" happened to be played in the headphones, and I was bored with the mouse scrolling, browsing the comments of popular netizens, "Things in the world, as long as they don't violate morality, there is nothing I can't do for Huo Heng." ”

"But...... I'm breaking my morals. ”

Ryoko's tears fell "pop" and "snap" and fell on her arm, slightly warm to the touch.

Turn on the computer, write whatever you want, whatever you want, and you can't let yourself be idle anyway.

When she stopped, Liangzi kept imagining, imagining that on a special day like "5.20", would Huo Heng kiss her lover's forehead when she got up in the morning, would Huo Heng make her a table of delicious food for Liangzi to sweetly show off on Moments, and would Huo Heng take his wife and children out shopping or going to the playground...... There is no way for Liangzi to know about this, and it is this unknowable sense of anxiety and panic that makes Liangzi sink deeply in sorrow.

Liangzi has just turned twenty years old, and her face is not bad, if you want, there is no shortage of people to accompany her on days like this. Liangzi couldn't figure out why he fell in love with Huo Heng, a middle-aged man with a family who was not tall, with a round face and round eyes like an octopus ball. Why did you fall in love with him? Liangzi couldn't figure it out, and when he realized it, he was already deeply trapped in thinking about it day and night.

They're together.

What a relationship that can't see the light.

Liangzi listed countless reasons for himself to become a third party, but these were all overthrown by himself in the end, in any case, Liangzi has to admit that he is very cheap, people like himself will never have a good end in domestic dog-blood TV series, exposure on the Internet will be abused by tens of millions of people, walking on the road will not only be thrown rotten eggs, but also by people with straightforward and strong personalities pulling their hair and beating countless times.

Thinking about being thrown rotten eggs and rotten vegetable leaves, Ryoko unconsciously laughed out loud again.

Alas, there is no help, there is no help.

Huo Heng said, you can't ask me to always think about you, I have a lot of things to be busy with. Ryoko snorted and put the sentence on his lips, "But there is only you in my world." "Eat it alive and swallow it in your stomach.

Ruoliangzi never thought that one day she would become the kind of person she once hated and despised the most, but this kind of self-loathing and guilt was no match for the joy in Huo Heng's heart when she saw her, her soul, her heart, every little cell in her body all roared and said how much she liked it.

Ryoko knew it wasn't right, but now she couldn't get herself out of him. Maybe he was too kind to himself, and silently told himself that he would love Huo Heng for another day, just one day. Maybe tomorrow, or maybe the day after tomorrow, Liangzi suddenly stopped loving, thought about it, and let go.

Ryoko is looking forward to that day.

Back in the dormitory, Liang Shan pillowed a half-sized pig pillow, stilted Erlang's legs, and beat the glory of the king while applying a mask, and kept grinning in his mouth; Wang Xiao had just finished washing his face, and the light purple tuft on his head had not had time to be removed, revealing a big face like a full moon disc, and the corner of his shirt was still tucked in red and white pajama pants, one trouser tube was tied to the root of his thighs, and the other was pulled below his knees, like a farmer who was about to go into the water and plant rice in the field in spring. Li Yunyun, the head of the dormitory, had eyebrow powder, mascara, eye shadow, and lipstick on his desk, a few balls of toilet paper with lipstick mixed in, and a few used cotton swabs lying on the ground...... Just by looking at this mess, I knew that it was a date, it was already ten o'clock, and I would never go home at night.

Habitually take off my shoes and socks and kick them under the bed, then take off my shorts, short sleeves, bra, and finally put on a slightly larger T-shirt that just covers my buttocks, and reach for the water glass on the table with my bare feet.

Ryoko has a habit of sleeping naked, and when she is alone, she likes to pull up the curtains and walk around the room naked. After living in a group, I will symbolically wear a wider T-shirt, but every time I return to the dormitory after class, I always try to take off my bra and pants first, and go barefoot. At first, everyone couldn't accept Ryoko's quirks, but Ryoko always went her own way, and after a long time, the first thing she took to the dormitory was to take off her clothes when she came back.

"Wang Xiao Liangshan, can you put away your dry clothes, one is lazier than the other, Yunyun's bed will be blocked tightly, and I will pinch you one by one when I come back."

"I'm embarrassed to say that we can put your shoes in order, take your socks and wash them, they have been put for centuries, and rats and cockroaches dare not come in, they must be afraid of being infertile and extinct by your biological weapons. You say that scientists, biologists, why don't you take your head freak over and study it well, maybe you can develop the ultimate weapon that is even more powerful than nuclear weapons, China has since raised its eyebrows, kicked the United States to become the world hegemon and dominated, and then we can also shake proudly in front of the good-looking little brothers in the world. ”

"Shake it, do you want to twist it, lick it and soak it again?"

"Fuck your uncle, you're Oreo!"

"But according to your way of thinking, if this thing becomes a hero, won't I still become a hero of the country? Everywhere you go, you have to walk with your nostrils towards the sky, that can't make me bad, oops, when the time comes, my sister will take you to eat and drink spicy food, and support the little brothers from all over the world, red, yellow, purple, blue, green, white, black, who you want to sleep with! Well, I helped my sister wash her socks, ah. ”

"Think beautifully! Let me wash your socks and wait for the extinction of the human species! ”

"Hahahaha, let's all be half a catty and eight taels, don't say anyone."

"Don't forget that you picked the stubble first......"

To tell the truth, Ryoko admits that she is a particularly lazy person, and she has a set of her own theories about this laziness, things must be stacked neatly, and used objects must be put back in their original places. There are only a few clothes for each season, one is to save money, and the other is to wear this one and that one, and when she goes out, she doesn't have to struggle with which one to wear like her three roommates Huo Heng, although in fact she just doesn't have the money to buy it. I like summer the most because only summer clothes are the simplest all year round, just put a set on your body when you go out, not like winter, go out to wear a lot of autumn clothes, warm clothes, sweaters, down jackets, hats, scarves, etc., even if you wrap yourself in a sandwich meat dumpling, it will still be cold, too troublesome and too troublesome. And summer clothes are also best washed, throw them in the washing machine and stir them up, and the best thing is that you can wear sandals all the time, saving you the trouble of washing socks and brushing shoes every day. Sometimes I feel that a lazy person like myself finds it difficult to eat and dress, and even feels tired to breathe. Forehead...... In the next life, it is good to be a koala, in addition to eating and sleeping, it is also a national first-class protected animal, tsk.

It's a bit ...... to see the four pairs of black and white socks stacked in the corner It's hard to put into words......

"It's summer, I don't go out much and I've been wearing a herringbone clip to drag and drop, so when did these socks go......"

Compared with the innocent appearance of a black line coming out of Liangzi's head, Wang Xiao's head simply emitted billowing black smoke.

"Hold back your words, Ryoko quickly packed up your socks and rolled ...... for me"

"But I said I'm going to treat you to a big dinner next week."

"Then you'll have to get out of here...... Roll back 360°, gah? Who are you??? ”