"But you know what? At that time, you once again made me feel insulted by you. As the queen, my child's life is only enough to replace a throne that should belong to me, do you know? I have never been uncommon to the queen. ”

If I want the throne, I should tell the world after he ascends the throne, I am the rightful wife of Xiao Jincheng, the king of Zhenbei, I didn't escape, I am not a concubine!

Tears slid down silently, tears spread, and my voice trembled more and more, "And just now, what I heard in Kongming Hall is exactly what I always wanted you to tell me in person, if that was said when you could say it in person half a year ago, maybe ...... My hatred for you will not come so violently, and I will not torture me, and let me embark on that road of no return. ”

Xiao Jincheng slowly stood up and looked at me face to face, his expression was painful, self-reproachful, and his eyes were also red, and at that moment he seemed to be getting old and even more vicissitudes.

He asked, "If I tell you now, is it still too late?" ”

His earnest expression stunned me, this expression is trusting, no regrets, just like him back then.

It was he who pulled me tightly and said, "I don't want the throne anymore, I just want you." "Yes, it's a long-lost expression. He hadn't shown me such an expression since he ascended the throne, and now that I was goodbye, my heart was surging and I couldn't stop it.

I bit my lower lip hard, my water-stained hand clenched into a fist, and I stared at him for a long time without speaking.

It wasn't until I felt the thick smell of blood on the tip of my tongue that I let go of my biting lip and looked up at the sky, geese crossing by.

I opened my mouth and groaned, "Now I am wrong, and my heart is sad. Red tears are secretly drooping, and his eyes are full of spring breeze. Knowing this, there was no plan later, and he forced the happy period. A farewell, the pear blossoms are only west. (Excerpt from Nalan Rongruo's "Picking Mulberries")

As I read it, all I could do was the sound of ripples and gurgling water.

It was getting late and the wind was stronger, which blew our boat to the shore.

After a moment of silence, he was the first to go ashore, and then he stretched out his hand to me, and his thick, slender hand tried to pull me ashore.

I stared at his hand for a long time, and finally chose to put it in his palm.

Our hands were cold, but the grip was even more chilly.

Stepping on the thick weeds, the clear smell of mud and grass broke into my nose, my mood gradually let go from the initial tension, and the stiff steps gradually let go, and followed him step by step towards the small bamboo hut that once belonged to us for seven days.

The night wind beat against us, rolling up our clothes, the corners of our clothes flying, and he walked slowly with my steps......

He looked at the bright moon in the distance, which was covered by dark clouds, and the black hair scattered on his neck swayed slightly with the wind, and he held my hand tightly, "And now I said that it was wrong, will it be too late?" ”

When he saw that I didn't speak, he smiled bitterly. Seeing that there was still a trace of pain in my eyes, as well as inexplicable sadness, the corners of my mouth moved and said hoarsely, "It's not too late." ”

Hearing this, he smiled faintly, and finally relaxed his calm face, and said to me unhurriedly, "Let's start with the day after Chunrui died......

"I'm not kind enough to push Chunrui out, but there's no way, Xia Yu already suspects you, and he also knows too much, between you and them, I must only protect you alone! However, I later got the news that Yiran had been looking for the divine doctor who helped you change your appearance in the people's causes, and wanted to use this incident to deal with me on the grounds of sneaking into the palace with you and disturbing the harem, you know, at that time, Yiran had to get rid of it, so I used you to go to the prison and forced him to death. After that, the power of the outlying islands in the imperial court has expanded more and more, and it has been a disaster, and the harem is all controlled by Xia Yu, and the court is controlled by Prime Minister Xia, which is a very dangerous thing. I know that if you want to suppress the Xia family, you must start with Xia Yu and break them one by one. Originally, I planned to use Mrs. Ya to deal with Xia Yu, but when I found out that she had a private affair with Xiao You and was pregnant with a son, all my plans were disrupted. So far, I don't have any extra time to find a woman who hates the concubine so much, and has enough wisdom to fight with Xia Yu, I can't help it, I choose you. Because of Chunrui's death, you have long hated Xia Yu, so I pushed the boat down the river, and used the poisoning of the imperial tomb to ignite your hatred even more, and even more justifiably pampered you, I chose you to expose the adultery between Mrs. Ya and Xiao You, but I didn't expect that you showed mercy to their subordinates, and at that moment I knew that my heart was always a wicked person in the eyes of outsiders, but in fact it was a kinder woman than anyone else, although I wanted you to help me, but your heart was not ruthless enough. Just when I was hesitating, you recommended a woman for me named Yin Shijing, her temperament is arrogant, her mind is smart, and more importantly, she has a ruthless heart, so I chose her. And I don't want to take advantage of you anymore, so I snubbed you and never saw you again. In the Thousand Birds Palace, I saw the tragic death of the eldest prince, and when I saw Su Guiren insisting that you killed the child, I knew that this was another trap. When you're going to explain to me what happened, I have to stop you, or I'll be ruined all the effort I've put into Lianchengsi. So I feigned anger and pushed you away, but I didn't expect that you would have a miscarriage because of it. At that moment, I knew that it seemed irreparable with you. Since Chunlan's death, I have known your hatred for me, your hatred for this harem, my self-blame and guilt every day and night, thinking back to everything I have done to you over the years, I have been so despicable, and I have used the woman I want to protect the most again and again, and injured her completely. You rightfully hate me, and in order to compensate you, I turned a deaf ear to what you did, because I owe you all this, and even if you really want to ruin my country, I won't blame you. In the past six months, every time I wake up from a nightmare in a midnight dream, I can't help but look back on everything I have done over the years, it seems that it is to keep this throne and stabilize the dynasty. This throne is a source of evil, and it has made me do too many irreparable wrongs, and I want to throw them away, but reason tells me that I can't. Since I have stabilized this throne with the blood of so many people, if I discard it, then I will be a faint king, and I have the oath that I first ascended to the great treasure, how will the people of the world think of me? I have a responsibility to the country, so I can't be selfish. ”

Listening to his clear and clear account of those few things, my heart knot has slowly opened, I have waited for these words for too long, I can hear his explanation to me today, all the resentment seems to have dissipated a lot, "These explanations are exactly what I want to hear, but you never mentioned them to me, so I hate you, with that hatred, I also embarked on a road of no return." ”

"Do you still hate me?"

"I don't know. But Master Jinghui is right, now that the war between the Southern Dynasty and the Khitan is imminent, I can't insist on ruining your country, how innocent are the people. ”

Feeling his hand shaking as he held me, I couldn't help but exert some strength to hold him back.

Chasing through the long grass, the fireflies are frightened, and the sky is haunting.

At that moment, my heart was pounding, as if I had returned to the scene in front of the palace where we first met, I let go of his hand and stretched out my palm, and a few fireflies stayed in my palm. I smiled and looked at Xiao Jincheng opposite, there were a few fireflies resting on the tips of his hair, his eyes were full of fluorescence, and I was hidden in the depths of his eyes.

"If life is only as first seen, what is the autumn wind and sad fan?" Murmuring, I swung my hands hard, and the fireflies that had stayed in my palms fluttered away.

I swirled in a circle, my hair dancing, "Jincheng, how about I sing a song for you?" You haven't heard me sing yet, so thank you for your tolerance of what I've done in the past six months. ”

His eyes were full of tenderness, and his chin responded, I cleared my throat and opened my mouth lightly, "When is the bright moon, ask the wine to the sky, I don't know what year is it in the heavenly palace?" ...... "It may be that my voice disturbed the fireflies around me, and more fireflies flew out of the grass in an instant, and the green light surrounded the two of us, as if we were in a fairyland.

My voice was graceful and sweet, penetrating into my heart and lungs, and I met his affectionate gaze several times, and looked back, suddenly remembering everything many years ago, as if I had seen it for the first time, and he said to me, "We will meet again by chance." ”

Why was I so bold to go to the tea house to see him!

At the end of the song, as soon as I finished speaking, I was firmly locked in my arms by a pair of arms, and he used a lot of strength to hold me in front of my intestines, and a hoarse voice came from the top of my head, "Xin'er, I will tell you everything in the future, don't hate me anymore, okay?" ”

Listening to his steady and powerful heartbeat, I nodded, "Okay, let's stop torturing each other in the future." ”

"Seriously?" He blurted out irrepressible excitement, let go of me, and looked directly into my eyes with sharp eyes, intending to see the truth in my eyes.

With a smile on my lips and an unwavering look in my eyes, I told him that everything I said was true.

I gave up my hatred not only because of his honesty and tolerance with me, but also for the people of the world.

Sooner or later, the two countries will go to war, and whoever is the final hegemon will be a good thing for the people of the world. I shouldn't mess with the government for the sake of one person's selfishness, and there are some things I should let go.

That night, he took me to see the plum trees we had planted, and after a year of sunshine and dew, they were in full bloom.

Xiao Jincheng told me that he would come here with me every year in the future to see the growth of plum trees.

In the middle of the night, the cicadas chirped and hissed, and we hugged each other and slept in the bamboo hut, pillowing in the crook of his arm. When I first saw the restaurant, he smiled meaningfully as if he knew everything, on the day of the wedding, I was not allowed to enter the door, forcing me not to let him carry me into the house, in case everyone looked down on him.

After the disfigurement, he met again, he said, life and death are broad, and he has no regrets about his three lives. On the night of the wedding, he said, "I love you." Later, our love changed tragically after the wedding, and he ruthlessly poisoned me, even taking advantage of the only love left between us.

It's a betrayal of love! Although I can forgive, this once innocent love has long been ruined by the mottled years and has become scarred, and I can no longer bear this love.

How many times have I leaned into his arms and asked myself, can I really go back to the old days with him?

The answer is 'no'.

Yes, love - once we lose our original innocence, no matter how much I love him, there will always be a barrier between us.

That obstacle is 'deception'! In the past six months, whenever I have been with him, I think more of it is not love, but deception.

I always ask, what is his purpose this time? Could it be the beginning of another conspiracy?

I'm tired of such suspicions every day.

There is also a deadly barrier between us, which is my dead child and Yeluhuan, and I cannot convince myself that I am safe to be with a man who has mutilated my child.

I used to feel ashamed of him, after all, he paid a lot for me, the dignified emperor was lucky that the harem concubines still used stand-ins, this is a clear cuckold for himself, how many emperors in the world can do it?!

However, when I knew that I had a Su Guiren, the guilt slowly disappeared, and the child was gone, I believe that even if I wanted to forgive him and want to be with him again, the child would not allow it, and Ah Huan would not allow it.

When Master Jinghui said, only by abandoning the distracting thoughts in your heart, letting go of hatred, and not being confused and panicked anymore, can you be your true self again.

Since this love has gradually left me, why do I and Xiao Jincheng bother to keep Aiqiang by our side, this kind of love will only drag down the body and mind of the two, and they will fall into contradictions and struggles even more.

A gust of morning dew swept in with the wind, I shivered, and looked at the bright gray sky in confusion, and I looked sideways again at the clear lines on Xiao Jincheng's face.

He slept very quietly, with a faint smile on his face, and he had never seen him sleep with such a quiet smile after sharing the bed with him for so long.