May 25th

In the sky above the city, fine rains drifted. The streets in the middle of the night, without the hustle and bustle and crowds of the day, the houses on the side of the road and the lonely street lamps are like a scene in a dream.

Zhang Feng drove very coolly, carrying me and Luo Shicheng through the damp and cold streets. The rain hit the car windows and merged into streams, and the rain became heavier and heavier. I did drink too much tonight, and I was in a trance, and I felt like I was in a dream when I saw everything.

Luo Shicheng reached out and grabbed my shoulder. I tried my best to sit upright, and mentally told myself not to lose my temper. I was afraid that I would say the wrong thing, so I tried not to open my mouth, for fear of exposing my drunken state.

Luo Shicheng leaned close to my face and asked me. Do you think that by keeping yourself silent and pretending to be dumb, others will not be able to see that you have drunk too much? When he finished speaking, he chuckled softly and kissed me unexpectedly.

I turned my head to look at him, trying to defend myself, but I couldn't find a strong word. I feel like I must be ashamed of the way I am now. I tried my best to make myself appear normal, but I couldn't reverse my wandering thoughts. I can't let my feet go out of a beautiful straight line.

Every time I get drunk, I can't help but think of sad things. The sadness in my heart was like a surging tide, completely annihilating me. Then I would shut myself up in the room, hide in the corner, and cry profusely.

Tonight, I'm drunk, but not to the point of being unconscious. I strongly supported myself in front of outsiders, wanting to leave a dignity for myself, and I didn't want others to know my heart.

A wound is a shame given by others, but it cannot be truly forgotten. In my mind, Ma Chu came back to me, remembering the good times when we were in love. He's not a nice-to-have.

When you're drunk, who do you think of first? That person must be a knot in the depths of your heart. I used to love Ma Chu very much, even very lowly. I felt that I was a foreigner, that he had a noble profession and a privileged family, so I was careful everywhere. I'm afraid that if I'm not careful, Ma Chu will lose interest in me.

I once ate instant noodles for three months in order to give Ma Chu a decent birthday present. I was afraid that the gifts I gave him would be too cheap and would make his parents look down on them. So he slapped his swollen face and became fat, cut down on food and clothing for three months, and finally bought him a famous watch.

However, when I handed the watch to Ma Chu, I found that the watch he was carrying on his wrist was much more valuable than my gift. I was thinking at the time, no matter how much I tried to raise my worth, I would still be so humble after all. Because, I can't hide my poverty, and I can't change myself as a foreigner.

The city is xenophobic, and the attitude of locals towards outsiders has always been condescending. Ma Chu naturally has a sense of superiority among the locals in his bones, just like his family.

In the nearly two years of my relationship with Ma Chu, love is very hard and hard, and I live in all kinds of inferiority complex every day. Even though I was low in the dust, I tried my best to pretend to have no regrets, and did everything possible to please him. There was only one thing, and I didn't follow his wishes.

It was the middle of the summer night, and after I had dinner with him, we went for a walk by the sea. That night, he implicitly made that request to me. I hesitated, plucked up my courage, and turned him down. It's not that I'm conservative, it's because I'm insecure.

I was afraid that night, and I would eventually give up. And I, as a girl from other places, wandering alone in this strange city, will have nothing to do if he does me justice to me in the future. I can only do my best to protect myself.

After my accident, I asked myself more than once, if I had agreed to Ma Chu's request that night, would he still easily veto me now? I don't think any matter how much I give him, this result will not change. Because, Ma Chu is a selfish and arrogant person, and I am just an embellishment in his eyes.

I was sitting in the back seat of the car with Luo Shicheng at the moment, and I couldn't help but snuggle up with him, which made me feel extremely unreal. Every time this man appears, it is full of weirdness. He is handsome and dashing, tall and mighty, and is almost a flawless idol. Although he seems to be kind, his eyes are full of strategic strength. This is a man who is not easy to provoke.

I secretly regret in my heart that I shouldn't have anything to do with this man. My intuition tells me that this man Luo Shicheng is a terrible man, and I can't control him at all. If he treats me badly in the future and makes me unbearable, I may not be able to escape even if I want to. Unless he gets tired of me and offers to break up.

There was a slight snoring in my ears, and I looked sideways. Luo Shicheng's beautiful eyes are slightly closed, his nose is straight, his lips are ruddy and slightly upturned, and his skin is white and smooth. He is like a lily in the valley, sitting alone by the stream in a white shirt and flowing, but he does not know that his beauty can take the soul of people.

The "Luojia Courtyard" apartment where I live is located on the outskirts of the city, and if there is no traffic jam, it will take 40 minutes to get there. The lights outside the window flickered on and off, and the car was already far away from the city, and I saw rolling mountains and dense woods on both sides. I rubbed my eyes and looked ahead. But I didn't want to, and found that Zhang Feng, who was driving, was looking at me in the rearview mirror.

I quickly lowered my head, maybe when I secretly looked at Luo Shicheng just now, Zhang Feng had already seen it all.

Sister-in-law, don't you know me and Xicheng anymore? Zhang Feng, who was sitting in the driver's seat, asked me in a low voice.

Well, I can't remember exactly. Later, I remembered that I had seen you in the hospital. Thank you, thank you for helping me. My mind was in a state of confusion, but I hadn't lost the last of my senses. I tried to make my speech and demeanor appear to be sober.

Zhang Feng, my name is Bai Bing, you can just call me by my name in the future. I suddenly remembered something and said casually.

How can that be? My eldest brother said that you are our sister-in-law. He hasn't been close to women for many years, and this time he must have made a desperate bet to finally meet the woman he wanted. So, you have to be nice to my eldest brother, otherwise his brothers won't agree.

My body couldn't help but tremble, and my heart was terrified. I haven't really figured out whether I should choose Luo Shicheng or not.

At the moment, it seems that I have a multiple-choice question in front of me. It's not that I'm choosing someone else, it's someone else choosing me, and I don't have the right to say no.

Sister-in-law, me, Xi Cheng, and my eldest brother Luo Shicheng grew up together. You may not imagine how deep the love between us is? Zhang Feng glanced at me in the rearview mirror. I think he's talking tonight. Is he admonishing me, or is he threatening me?

Luo Shicheng's arm suddenly exerted force and hugged me into his arms. I couldn't help but exclaim, thinking of Zhang Feng sitting in front of me, I suddenly felt ashamed and indignant. I want to break free, but I can't.

Luo Shicheng woke up. He sat up straight and said with a faint smile, Bing'er, my friendship with Zhang Feng Xicheng is the kind of brother who can change his life and can support both orphans and his wife.

Zhang Feng was the first to laugh. Big brother, it's rare for you to be so interested these days, and the words you say are more level than before. But what you say is really to the point!

The car finally stopped on the side of the road. I looked through the window and saw the Luo family's compound. The heavy rain began to stop, and the air was filled with a soft rain.

Luo Shicheng got out of the car with me. He was clasping my waist tightly, and my gait was still unsteady on my feet. But I still said very sensibly, I'll just go up by myself, you and Zhang Feng should go back quickly.

Luo Shicheng looked at me with a frown, ignoring my words. He turned to Zhang Feng and waved his hand, let's go, come and pick me up at noon tomorrow.

As soon as I heard it, I was in a hurry. I shouted at Zhang Feng, Zhang Feng, you better go back together, it's too far away from the city, don't delay tomorrow's work.

But Zhang Feng glanced at me and showed a smile that was not easy to detect. Without saying a word, he stepped on the accelerator and drove away with a bang.

I stood still, not wanting to leave. I stubbornly tried to push Luo Shicheng away. You better go back, I have a bottom line, and this bottom line can't be broken. I have nothing, but I still have dignity, and this is the only treasure I have left.

Luo Shicheng looked at me meaningfully, and then he smiled wryly. Bing'er, do you know that it is impossible for the woman I chose to keep the bottom line. If you don't believe me, you try. Your so-called bottom line is actually a woman's half-heartedness towards a man. Am I not right?

Luo Shicheng suddenly let go of the arm holding me, and I shook the ground a few times defenselessly, almost falling. Luo Shicheng laughed, then hugged me in his arms and walked towards the apartment. I said anxiously, put me down quickly, and be careful of being seen.

Well, without me hugging you, I'm afraid you'll have to crawl back to your apartment tonight. Who told you to drink so much with others? You still dare to go behind my back and play ambiguously with other men. If it weren't for Xi Cheng discovering you and notifying me in time, I don't know if you would have changed hands tomorrow?

No wonder tonight, Luo Shicheng suddenly appeared, it turned out that Xi Cheng was ventilating the news. I asked myself if I had done anything wrong, but at the moment I was like a child who had made a mistake, and I didn't know how to deal with it.

Luo Shicheng held me tightly in his arms, as if no one was calm and comfortable. I hid my face in his arms, lest anyone would recognize me. His body smell is good, like a strong and fresh plant, mixed with the fragrance of the sun, and a faint smell of tobacco.

Luo Shicheng walked into the lobby and entered the elevator. Along the way, I heard the doorman and the service staff all shouting respectfully to Mr. Luo. And he just hummed softly.

Finally came to my door. His strong arms tightened my body, and with one hand, he took out the room card from my bag and opened the door. He closed the door with his backhand, locked it, and then walked into the bedroom, leaned down, and gently placed me on the bed.

Baby, go take a hot shower, I'm afraid you'll catch a cold. Otherwise, if you can't stand still, I'll wash it for you, anyway, it's a matter of time.

I was already exhausted, but when I heard what he said, I was so frightened that I quickly sat up from the bed. I can wash it myself, so I don't have to bother you. My hurried tone made him look at me and laugh.

I reluctantly stood up, picked up the white dressing gown on the bed, and headed for the bathroom. Inadvertently, I found that there was a floor-to-ceiling telescope in front of the window of the bedroom balcony. It's not mine, who put the telescope in my room?

Luo Shicheng unconsciously stuck behind me and asked me softly: "Baby, I can't imagine that you still have this hobby?" ”

、、、、、、

"The bottom line of a woman is half-heartedness towards men." This sentence is written in this diary. This kind of thing, only a domineering man like Luo Shicheng would say it, right?

Once upon a time, we no longer delivered our bodies and minds easily? In the face of the sea vows, he just smiled indifferently. Love, more and more extravagant, the ravine of desire makes us at a loss. Love is often more lasting than love.

These days, Luo Shicheng's injuries have begun to heal gradually, and he is almost dissatisfied every night. The night is dark, he is no longer as gentle as in the day, and the mask of the world no longer exists.

He spares no effort every time, like the end of the world! His lust for me is sometimes more of a pathology, beyond the boundaries of love.

Here's how I feel. However, who can say what the definition of love is? Most people in the world exercise that shameful instinct in the name of love.