Chen Ran

When Yue'er said to me not to divorce Xiaojuan, I was shocked and unexpected. I know that Yue'er is a good girl, she has always been able to sacrifice and forbear, whether it is work or life, otherwise she would not have taken the initiative to give up the position of deputy manager before, and she was more of a concession to Zhang Xiaoqi and even Xiaojuan's aggressiveness. These things, or the opportunity has not reached the objective conditions, or the relief of taking a step back and opening up the sky, I can understand and understand that what Yue'er wants is just a peace in this world, and it is not what she wants to fall into strife, not to mention that there is Xiaojuan in these people, not to mention me. It's just that I didn't expect that she would be able to endure her love so much. As the saying goes, love is selfish, who wants to share their lover with others, and who doesn't want their lover to be more heartfelt than gold? But she took the initiative to choose to fulfill everyone, even if this kind of fulfillment is the most difficult for her.

In fact, when I decided to take this step towards Yue'er, I was ready to have no way out. I am extremely aware that my feelings for Yue'er are different from those I had for Xiaojuan before. The latter is more like a group of men and women in the flower season who are actively or passively paired and combined in a specific period on the white-clothed college campus, just because they don't like to toss by nature, so Xiaojuan and I can fall in love and get married step by step without waves or twists and turns, saying that they are in love, but they have a nominal boyfriend and girlfriend to give an explanation to the family and society; said that it was marriage, more like a partner to live, it was not a person who had high expectations for life, plus the difference between men and women, I used to think that it was okay to go through my life with Xiaojuan so plainly. But all this changed when I met Yue'er. I have never cared so much about another person's every move, just because of those unexplained signs and emotions, as if I had known her a long, long time ago, there is a distant and intimate familiarity in her, which makes me feel that I must have some kind of unknown bond and connection with her, and I have never been so stubborn to get close to a person and explore her bits and pieces, this is not my style, but it makes me deeply understand that Yue'er is different from me, different from Xiaojuan, and everyone else.

So I knew that I wasn't impulsive, and from the moment Yue'er promised me, I was already thinking about my future with Xiaojuan. From a secular point of view, I have betrayed my marriage and become a prisoner of morality; Then, from the perspective of love, I at least can't make the same mistake again, loving one party, but giving the other the name of love; Dominate the love of both parties, but actually do things that hurt both parties. Don't say that I'm a man, even if it's just a person, from the heart, this is really a very despicable behavior! Therefore, I understand that my marriage to Yu Yue'er is the biggest concern and obstacle, and she doesn't say a word, just being considerate to me, which doesn't mean that she doesn't mind. Love can't be shared with others, no one can be willing to face the mutilated love, how can Yue'er be an exception, even if she offered to let me give her a fair and honest name, I feel that it is right. Since love is a multiple-choice question, the answer can only be one.

But I heard her say to me very solemnly, "Chen Ran, don't divorce me, I'm willing to stay by your side all the time." When she said this, she looked me in the eyes as if she wanted to look into my heart.

Yue'er asked me not to divorce, she understood the meaning of what I said to her, she was grateful to me for my consideration and dedication for her, but she said that if my family and my wife were hurt because of her, she would rather be a third party in the eyes of the world, standing behind me, carrying the shackles of morality and affection, just to fulfill me, to fulfill Xiaojuan, to fulfill love, or even to fulfill herself.

She repeatedly told me not to get a divorce, even with a hint of pleading. It leaves me speechless, makes me feel ashamed. I understand that Yue'er is for me, in order not to embarrass me, and in order to prevent the situation from developing to the point where it is clear and irreversible, she is willing to wronged herself like this. It was a sense of innocence and empathy that made her prefer to take a back seat to me; It is the deep love for me that makes her willing to be by my side even if she is facing such a dilemma.

I, Chen Ran, when did I get to the point where I want my own woman to fulfill it? Sighing heavily, I shook my head and didn't answer Yue'er's words. I don't know how to answer, I don't want to answer! Yue'er is still so young, does she know the consequences of such a choice? Can she imagine the hardships of love without a name? That piece of paper, no matter how small and thin, builds a woman's dignity and backbone, as the saying goes, the name can be said to be smooth, her life is still so long, if she is so obscure behind me, has she ever thought about how to explain to her family in this society? Even if she could ignore the eyes of others, but her friends, her relatives, her father, if one day they asked, could she turn a deaf ear? How would she answer then? This is a question that can never be avoided, even if you can prevaricate with lies, once or twice is okay, but after a long time, how can you justify it every time? When she is no longer a young girl in her twenties, facing the pressure of her family and society, facing the love that can only be hidden in the dark corner of the light, day after day, year after year, can she still be as firm and unrepentant as today? Time is the thing that most consumes people's will. Even if everything above is not a problem, even if we are loyal to each other, but when we can't walk hand in hand on the streets where we know each other, can't generously confess love in front of each other's friends and family, and I can only accompany another person in every family reunion or festival that celebrates love, and even when we can only meet each other for a meal, can she still be as uncomplaining and tired as she is today? I don't know if she thought about it, maybe not, because her eyes were full of thought for me at the moment; Perhaps, but she didn't care at all. But whether there is or not, I can't help but think about her, this is my responsibility as a man and as his lover.

Yue'er, she is too young after all, she has the truest and purest delivery for love, and she also has the simplest and most unthinking impulse. Such an impulse made her push herself to the end of the day. I can't help but be deeply shocked, my Yue'er, she is only 24 years old, her affection can be so loyal and has not returned, with fatalistic hope and despair, can break through the barriers of the world and desperate, can also be buried in the soil covered with thorns and sing in a low voice, so deep and persistent, who can say that it is not holy love, and who can say that it is inferior to other loves?

But at this moment, looking at the deep expectation and firm determination in her eyes, I didn't know how to open my mouth when the words came to my mouth. Yue'er said that I won't be embarrassed in this way, no one will be hurt, and she can have peace of mind. She can have peace of mind, yes, with Yue'er's character, she is the most reluctant to let others be hurt a little, otherwise how can she stay by my side easily and naturally. That's it, let's not talk about this today, there are so many things that happen in one day, and each one seems to make people ride a roller coaster ride up and down, and after all, we are a little tired, and we all need time to digest. Alas, the coming day is long, no hurry, no hurry, let's eat first.

Thinking of this, I rubbed Yue'er's hair, patted her hand and said gently, "Yue'er, I understand what you mean." Let's not talk about this for now, the coming day will be long, and then we will think about it in the long run, okay? He smiled softly in her ear, "Are you hungry?" My stomach has been singing for a long time! ”

Yue'er lowered her head and didn't look at me, but she also sneered, "Chen Ran, if you don't say it, you don't think it, as soon as you say it, my stomach seems to be really growling."

"Then let's eat! You see that this meal is cold, there are few dishes, just now I was not very hungry and can barely fill my stomach, but now I am so hungry that my chest is close to my back, how can this plate of scrambled eggs with tomatoes be enough to stuff my teeth" I looked at the only plate of vegetables on the table and sighed, took her hand and sat down, "Come, eat, anyway, you pulled me and didn't let me go grocery shopping, like you said, drink water if you can't eat enough!" I followed her words in all seriousness, and both of them laughed.

"Yue'er, this is the first meal I made for you, and the first meal I ate alone with you, I'm so happy" I picked up a mouthful of rice and put it in my mouth, I couldn't help but sigh.

"Chen Ran, me too, you don't know, how many times have I imagined such a scene before" Yue'er looked up at the window, "Among the lights of ten thousand homes, there is a lamp that belongs to me and yours, we sit opposite each other, eating breakfast, lunch or dinner like ordinary lovers, just like a peaceful and happy time...... Now, it's all realized...... Yue'er turned her head to look at me, "I didn't expect it to be realized, I feel so satisfied, so happy, God treats me well, thank God" There are starlight spots on her eyelashes, like ice crystal butterflies parked on them, light and graceful; There is a dream of moving in the voice, but there is also a youthful playfulness, yes, my Yue'er, after all, she is only 24 years old, such as the fragrance of flowers, such as the agility of water, it belongs to her in its own right, and I am so lucky to be able to watch her in this verdant years, guard her, and wait for her to bloom quietly, so beautiful.

It was nine o'clock in the evening after eating, and after cleaning up the dishes and chopsticks, looking at the wall clock on the wall, I hesitated for a moment, but decided to say goodbye to Yue'er. She leaned against the door, watched me put on my coat and change into shoes, and stopped talking a few times, I sighed softly in my heart, patted her face and said, "Yue'er, have a good rest today, see that you are tired and deformed for Guo Kai's wedding during this time, and today is another day of tossing, isn't Guo Kai giving your administration department a day off tomorrow?" Get a good night's sleep, don't think about anything, and sleep until you wake up naturally, huh? I went back. Saying that, I picked up my handbag and prepared to leave, because I really couldn't bear to see the reluctance in Yue'er's eyes, and I was a little afraid of seeing her eyes like that, so I needed to keep restraining my inner impulses.

"Chen Ran, can you stay with me tonight?" Just as I was about to step out of the door, I heard Yue'er say to me softly.

My footsteps froze, and the hand holding on to the door couldn't help but stop, I slowly turned around and stared into Yue'er's eyes, her bright eyes were pure and flawless, and my appearance was reflected in the dark pupils. Taking a deep breath, I spoke, "Yue'er, do you know what you mean by that?" Don't just say that to others in the future, you know? ”

Yue'er lowered her head slightly, bit her lip, and seemed a little timid, "Chen Ran, I don't know why, I'm really afraid of being lonely tonight, I just want you to stay with me," Fu raised his head again to meet my gaze, "I really don't want you to leave now, I feel safe with you here, it's okay for you to stay," there was some pleading and even coquettish flavor in her tone, which made people soften their hearts for no reason, "It's a big deal, I'll give you the bed, and I'll sleep on the sofa!" She looked anxious as if she was afraid that I would turn away regardless of it, but when she finished speaking, she realized that her words seemed too straightforward and somewhat ambiguous, and she was so ashamed that her face was flushed.

I couldn't help but laugh dumbly, especially when I heard the sentence "It's a big deal to give me the bed, she sleeps on the sofa", it turned out that I misunderstood her! I secretly laughed in my heart that I was sentimental, and sure enough, I have been immersed in the rivers and lakes for a long time, and my thoughts have become dirty, and a little girl can think crooked like this with a clean and innocent word. My lovely Yue'er, looking at her delicate and shy green appearance, my heart seems to have turned into a pool of water, and I only wish to be magnificent for her.

Suddenly, I wanted to tease her, I looked at Yue'er with a smile, didn't say good or bad, just looked at her quietly without saying a word.

She was a little embarrassed by me, glanced at me, bit her lip and said, "Okay, you have something to say."

I finally couldn't help laughing out loud, and grabbed her into my arms, "Silly girl, okay, okay, I promise you to stay with you." But how can I be willing to let you sleep on the sofa, it must be me sleeping, you go to bed obediently! Fu whispered in her ear again, "Girl, I actually want to stay too." ”

There was a sound of laughter coming from my arms, Yue'er gently knocked my shoulder, raised her head and said, "Ah, you are so annoying, you deliberately teased me." ”

I laughed, closed the door with my hand, and said loudly through her nose, "How can you see my Yue'er so cute!" Fu pretended to be righteous and said, "But I am now ordering you as the boss, you can't say that to other men in the future, you can only say it to me alone."

Yue'er then woke up to what I meant, her face turned into a big red apple, and with a light "ah", she swooped out of my arms, stuck out her tongue at me, and ran away.

This girl, I looked at her back and shook my head and smiled. Looking at this beautiful room full of streamers, the delicate children in front of me, I can't help but sigh in my heart, how good it would be if I could always have such a delicate time! How nice!

The mobile phone rang at this moment, and I was still immersed in the smile of Shicai, and picked it up casually, only to see the caller's name suddenly beating on the black and white screen - Xiaojuan.