Li Yue'er

After the welcome banquet that night, I dragged my tired and drowsy body home, and lay down in bed after taking a shower, feeling sleepy for a while. In the process of tossing and turning, I bred up and carefully analyzed all my recent ups and downs and swings, and then came to the conclusion that for Chen Ran, I was just lost on a whim.

Because of my mother's early death, I was sensitive by nature, and I was attracted to several romance novels in college, and I had that inexplicable dream not long ago, which made me unconsciously regard myself as the heroine in the play, and plunged into this boring scene written and directed by myself, and I had to pretend to be a bitter and sad appearance, so that this sadomasochistic love was vividly interpreted. Or it can also be said that I have never had a love experience, at the moment of my 24-year-old life, especially after my father decided to list my life's events last time, I subconsciously began to realize that there would be a man into my life after all, so I had the heart of Sichun, and the appearance of Chen Ran just filled the gap of this fantasy role.

It's like watching "Full House of Romance" when you're in love, or you happen to see "Blue Life and Death Love" when you're out of love, people can't help but be fascinated by the affectionate and handsome male protagonist in it, but after all, it's just an object of obscenity, and it won't and can't affect actual life, just like no one would think that they would really marry Song Chengxian or RAIN, even if those fans who chase stars, it is difficult for a few to continue the love for idols in girlhood to the length of a lifetime.

Thinking like this, I feel more and more that my feelings for Chen Ran are just an unexpected collision of hormones and brain polyphenols in the body at a specific time, and the sparks produced by this accidental effect will be short-lived and fleeting, and they will disappear naturally after this while, and I really can't worry too much.

Now that the ideal of the Tao is understood, I have also secretly made up my mind that it is essential to keep an appropriate distance from Chen Ran in the company. After all, he is the boss and has long been married, melons and plums, there are many people, don't ruin each other's reputations in vain; Besides, I am now in this emotional ups and downs, if I want to cool down as soon as possible, reducing contact is the most direct way, and I can't think about it if I don't see it, and even, now that I have entered the age of talking about marriage, and my body has honestly sent out signals, can I also properly consider the way that my father proposed before, blind date?

Originally, people should live a realistic life, right?

I fell asleep in a daze in such cranky thoughts, the stimulation of alcohol and the chaotic mind made people sleep lightly all night, I had a lot of strange and weird dreams, but I didn't remember anything after waking up, I forced myself to go to work, thinking that the extra impulse to Chen Ran made me have a headache and was completely weak, it was really not worth it, and I had to break it no matter what.

Come on, Li Yue'er!

With the return of Chen Ran, all departments of the company have been working at full speed recently. If I was a little overwhelmed before, I have become busy and organized.

Chen Ran really lived up to expectations, in just one month to analyze the competitor's product composition, and for its shortcomings to improve the company's products, and then with the sales department, the procurement department to develop a series of new business policies, and timely visit the relevant government departments to obtain support, so multi-pronged, less than a quarter to successfully recover a lot of customers, the company's sales performance also began to slowly rebound.

During this time, I did not have many opportunities to meet Chen Ran, after all, the administrative department as the boss's secretary department enjoys the convenience of "the first month near the water", but I have always pursued the principle of "keeping a distance", I can not meet without meeting, I can remain silent without speaking, I also try to avoid eye contact with him when I have to face it, and when I need to report to him or submit information, I will try my best to let Wang Hao or other colleagues in the department do it for me without a trace, and even once or twice Chen Ran specially asked me to get a document, I used the excuse that I was going out immediately and asked the little girl at the front desk to send it to him.

In this way, the intersection between me and Chen Ran has been greatly reduced, and the natural heartache is not as violent as before, it seems that this method is effective, and I must stick to it, I secretly warned myself in my heart.

It's just that occasionally it is inevitable that my mind wanders, especially when the little sister at the front desk inadvertently mentions Chen Ran and asks Wang Hao why he always sends me out on the field, the sadness in my heart is even more obvious, does he ask casually or really pay attention? Will he find my evasion and laugh at my absurdity? …… The surging questions and thoughts were like a huge net, densely woven into my body, crushing every bit of invisible emotion, and landing silently but accumulating a thick layer of dust.

Yes, in order to avoid seeing him, I racked my brains and broke my heart!

How does he know my helplessness and melancholy!

And this kind of evasion is not a long-term solution after all, can I cut off and strangle my thoughts in the end? Even if one day I can face Chen Ran calmly without obstacles, is that state really what I want? Suddenly I found myself unable to answer.

But at this moment, I categorically can't manage so much, there is no now, how to talk about the future, as long as the grass can be cut and eradicated now, the future will become a source of water without roots, I silently cheer for myself in the bottom of my heart, Li Yueer, you are doing the right thing! You're doing the right thing! There is no doubt about what you are doing! Everything is difficult at the beginning, and it's normal to be sad occasionally, just like when the male star you once liked held the wedding of the century, didn't you cry to death? After this paragraph, it will be fine, no one will affect anyone for a lifetime, let alone an undesirable and unattainable person!

Well, just keep going, and everything will be clear.

Recently, I have a lot of things, because Wang Hao accompanied Mr. Guo on a business trip, many secretarial things in the administration department were directly stacked in my hands. Although I was busy in the dark, I occasionally felt that it was okay, at least I could show Chen Ran that I was indeed busy, and I didn't deliberately avoid him.

Today, Chen Ran wants to take Guo Xin to report to the Science and Technology Bureau, which is what Mr. Guo is in charge of, but Mr. Guo is on a business trip, and Chen Ran naturally has to be on top as the B corner, Guo Xin is familiar with the company's business, and he has been in contact with specific work, and he is familiar with the place and people, so he accompanied Chen Ran to go together.

As soon as I got to work in the afternoon, the phone rang on the desk, and Wang Hao's voice came in a hurry: "Xiao Li, hurry up and send the information of our company's application for high-tech enterprises to Mr. Chen and send them to the Science and Technology Bureau!" I'm waiting over there, hurry up! ”

"Oh, okay, okay, I'll go right away" knowing that the matter was urgent, even if I had to face Chen Ran, I couldn't shirk it because of private excuses, I remembered that the set of materials should be placed in the department's filing cabinet, I quickly turned it out, and made two more copies in case of emergency.

All the drivers of the company have been dispatched, so I have to take a taxi. The Science and Technology Bureau is far away from the company, and it is still in the opposite direction, but fortunately, it is not the rush hour, and the road is smooth, and it still took nearly an hour to arrive in a hurry.

Entering the gate of the Science and Technology Bureau, I saw Chen Ran and Guo Xin waiting in the hall at a glance, thinking that it was inconvenient for them to rush in if the information was not complete, so I hurriedly ran over and breathless, "Mr. Chen, Mr. Guo, the information is here, is it in time?" ”

"It's too late, why is it so slow, your administration department" Guo Xin took the information and looked through it, and couldn't stop complaining.

I can't help but feel aggrieved, I've sent it as quickly as possible, the information is not ready and it's not the problem of the Administration Department, why is the board next to us? But the leader blames, what can I do, I have to bite my lip and swallow my anger.

"It's okay, there's still time, just get it." A warm voice sounded, and I saw Chen Ran take some of the information handed over by Guo Xin and said to me lightly.

His voice was not hurried, like a stone sinking to the bottom of the water, falling steadily on my heart, soothing my turbulence and grievances. I took a deep breath and nodded gratefully at him, feeling my cheeks turn red and hot, but I was just anxious because of my hurry.

"Oops, the information is wrong! Not this one! ”

Before I could finish thinking about it, I heard Guo Xin shouting beside me, I immediately turned my head and looked at him puzzled, and stepped forward with Chen Ran.

——Obviously it is the information for applying for high-tech enterprises, it is clearly written in black and white, I am not blind, it is impossible to make such a low-level mistake, just now he complained for no reason, and now he made a fuss and said that he got the wrong information, I can't help but be a little annoyed.

Chen Ran obviously didn't understand what Guo Xin meant, and asked, "What's wrong?" ”

"Mr. Chen, that's the case, aren't we here to ask the Science and Technology Bureau for subsidies today, since you ask the government department for money, you can't talk too well about your situation, otherwise you are already very good, why should the government pay money and resources to support you, right? Therefore, the information we reported to the Science and Technology Bureau," Guo Xin coughed twice and lowered his voice, "We have all cut a large piece of profits, either we will lose money, or we will make small profits, so that we can get subsidies." But now the administration department has brought this one, which we usually report to the bank, and the bank dares to lend you easily when it sees that you are not profitable, so it is reported according to the real profit, and now take this to the Science and Technology Bureau, it will definitely not work! At that time, beware that the subsidy cannot be taken down, and we will be charged with lying and false information, which will be terrible! ”

After listening to Guo Xin's explanation, I immediately took the information and turned to the page of the financial statement, sure enough, it showed Kairan's profitability, and the number was even a little staggering, my heart sank, what should I do now.

"What are you doing in the Administration Department! Why did you make such a big mistake, how did Wang Hao explain it to you?! Thankfully, I took a look at it first, and if I just took it in like this, I don't know what would happen! Guo Xin pointed at me and said indignantly, I was speechless, although this information is kept in the administrative department, but Wang Hao has always been in charge, he did not explain on the phone, how do I know that a piece of information has so much attention, and I want to take it over quickly to solve the urgent need, but I didn't expect to make a mistake in the busy, almost poked out a big basket.

Seeing that it was too late to go back and get the information again, I was so anxious that I didn't know what to do, and I felt remorseful, my face was swollen red, and tears were about to fall.

"According to you, we have been reporting two sets of information to the Science and Technology Bureau and the bank, and they haven't found them for so many years?" Chen Ran flipped through the information in his hand, and his brows became solemn.

"Hey, this is all in one city, even if it is not a system, with our current industry status, how can there be an impermeable wall. It's just that the Science and Technology Bureau and the bank are two lines after all, using their own information systems, and the data is not shared, which naturally allows us to take advantage of the loopholes. Besides, the science and technology bureau and the bank have so many special subsidies and credit funds from the state, and they also have to complete the task. Guo Xin spat and continued to explain, "It's just that since this is a tacit thing, you can only do it, you can't say it, and you have to do it more like, if this information is handed over today, it will be a direct slap in the face of the Science and Technology Bureau, and the data in black and white is there, and it will be difficult for people to let you go!" ”

I listened to Guo Xin's serious words, and I felt even more guilty in my heart, thinking that since I entered Kairan, I was careful all the way, walking on thin ice, but I didn't expect to make such a big mistake without paying attention, or in Chen Ran's face, I was really depressed to the extreme.

"Okay, let's not talk about it, let's solve the current problem first. It's definitely too late to go back and get it now, so, Xiao Li, there is someone in the administration department now, right? You immediately go out and find a fax shop, and ask the company to quickly send a copy of the information to the Science and Technology Bureau. I'll contact Guo Kai here to find out the specific situation. Mr. Guo, you take a look at this information again, familiarize yourself with the situation, and have a bottom in your heart, when you report to the leader later, if I have anything to say, you can add it to me. Chen Ran's voice was calm and powerful, gradually calming the panic in my heart, and understanding that now was not the time to be sad, I hurriedly called the administration department according to Chen Ran's arrangement, and asked them to find out the information and prepare to send me a fax.

Chen Ran immediately called Mr. Guo to learn more about the relevant situation and understand the ins and outs. Although Guo Xin still muttered and complained, he also understood that there was no better way at this time, so he had to sit on the sofa and read the information.

Half an hour later, we showed up at the office of the director of science and technology on time, made a work report to the leaders on behalf of Kairan, and implemented this year's high-tech subsidy. Although the Science and Technology Bureau received our fax materials and felt a little inconvenient to make a clear copy next time, it was no longer a big problem.

Walking out of the gate of the Science and Technology Bureau, everyone breathed a sigh of relief, but Guo Xin still couldn't help but tell me again, "This time it's not dangerous, next time you have to be careful, how can the people in the Administration Department be so careless." ”

Guo Xin's temper has long been heard, and today can be regarded as insightful, but after all, it is my fault first, and I can't be criticized by others, I have nothing to say, so I have to bear it.

On the way back, Guo Xin and Chen Ran chatted about work from time to time. I knew that people were soft-spoken, and I made a mistake today, so I didn't dare to speak more at the moment, and I returned to the company in silence all the way.

By the end of the day, the administrative department had already been empty, so I slowly paced back to my seat, and sat down as if I had fallen apart. Thinking about the encounter in the afternoon, it was like a war as if I had experienced an adventurous journey, although in the end it turned safe, but things did happen because of me, especially the consequences that Guo Xin said, I don't know what the situation will be if I really hand it over, and I still feel afraid when I think about it now.

Although Chen Ran didn't criticize me, he didn't say much when Guo Xin accused me, maybe he was angry and anxious in his heart, but his self-cultivation made him not make such drastic actions as Guo Xin. Thinking of this, I felt even more discouraged, yes, he also felt that he had nothing to say to me.

Li Yue'er, Li Yue'er, you are afraid of Chen Ran for a day, how could you have thought that this kind of thing would happen in front of him?

The hand holding the pen couldn't help but stagnate, and the tip of the pen suddenly leaked a huge drop of ink, dripping on the document on the desktop, I quickly picked up the paper towel at hand to wipe it, but it was getting darker and darker, and the harder it was, the more obvious it was, and it soaked the document thoroughly. Looking at the huge ink flowers on the white paper and black letters, it was very dazzling to open his teeth and claws, and it seemed that everything was not going well today, and he was relieved for a while in his heart, and tears rolled out.

"Aren't you off work yet?"

A familiar voice sounded in front of me, I raised my head in the haze of tears, and saw Chen Ran standing at the door of the administrative department and said to me with a pleasant face, I didn't expect him to appear suddenly, and I forgot to answer for a while.

"Why are you crying?" Seeing that I didn't answer, Chen Ran walked closer, only to find me with teary eyes, and asked in surprise. "Because of the afternoon?"

I came back to my senses at this point, and I hurriedly tried to wipe away my tears with the tissue I had just wiped the ink, but the ink accidentally stained my face.

I still didn't realize it, and I denied it vigorously, "No, no, Mr. Chen, I didn't cry." ”

Chen Ran sneered, I looked at him puzzled, he pointed to my face, and motioned for me to look in the mirror. I glanced at the mirror on the table, and I was so ashamed that I wanted to find a hole in the ground - the ink happened to be in the center of both cheeks, like two cat's mustaches!

I couldn't help but let out a low sigh, while saying that I was embarrassed, I hurriedly rushed into the bathroom, cleaned up the flower face, and walked out after repeatedly confirming that it was correct, but I was extremely embarrassed because of this accident, it was enough to make a mistake in front of Chen Ran today, and now I am still seen by him so funny!

Oh my God, I bumped into a ghost today!

But I can't help but feel sour, do I care so much about what he thinks of me? It turned out that no matter how I tried to escape, deep down in my heart, I wanted to show him the best version of myself.

Unexpectedly, Chen Ran didn't leave, and when he saw me come out, he said directly, "Let's go, get off work, you can take my ride." ”

I looked at him and forgot to move for a moment. Chen Ran, he said I could take his car, he was still smiling at me just now, wasn't he angry with me? Don't you feel that I did something wrong today and should reflect on it and examine it deeply?

"What are you doing? Let's go" Chen Ran's voice recalled my thoughts, as if a light seeped in, falling a warm and dense shadow, quietly calming my chaotic heart. Thinking that today's wrong and ugly state was all looked at by him, and there was nothing I couldn't let go of at the moment, my heart was crossed, and I couldn't care about the previous avoidance, so I picked up the bag on the seat and followed.

Chen Ran

Kai Ran's days are tense and busy, occasionally in the cubicle of the administrative department, in the corner of the conference room, or in the corridor of the company, I will see her, the girl named Li Yue'er, or long hair shawl, or a simple ponytail, always maintaining a modest and polite smile, her expression is calm, neither humble nor arrogant, like a lotus flower blooming in water, beautiful and reserved.

She seemed very busy, very busy, and I could hear her whispers echoing in the air of the administration department, and I could hear her characteristic soft footsteps in every corner of the company, but every time I appeared, no matter where we were, we always passed by by coincidence, as if it had been arranged.

This makes me a little frustrated.

Once or twice, I deliberately only asked her to send me a document, but always another person appeared in my office and said in the opening words that I had heard countless times, "Mr. Chen, Li Yue'er is going to ** to do business now, she asked me to send this to you", the difference is only the location of the work.

Isn't Li Yueer mainly responsible for secretarial work, why is she the one who goes out every time?

But at the same time, I have to admit with frustration that she was busy with other things and did not delay me in any way, at least to show that I was no different from her and everyone else.

Yes, it's no different, as it's commonly called, "passerby".

But isn't that a normal thing? Chen Ran, aren't you and her just ordinary bosses and subordinates, why does she look at you differently? Are you still not sober from the after-effects of drunkenness that day? Then again, you mind if she is cold to you, is she different from everyone else?

I found myself unable to give an affirmative answer.

Yes, yes, if you don't get drunk, everyone gets drunk, it's all the fault of hallucination. Kairan still has a lot of things waiting for me, what to do with all that nonsense, let it go, what to do.

After returning to Kai, Xiaojuan and I only spoke on the phone three times, and almost all of them ended hastily in the busyness of both sides. Gradually, SMS transmission has become the main way of our daily communication, and the editing of text is not disturbed by time, place, and person, which just covers up the embarrassment that we have nothing to say many times.

I suddenly found that my marriage with Xiaojuan had unknowingly entered its seventh year, and we didn't seem to be able to avoid the "seven-year itch".

It's just strange to say, since I returned to Kairan, the dream I had before has never appeared again, and even those strange physical reactions are slowly disappearing, is it not Xiaojuan, not Li Yueer, but Kairan?!

Well, yes, it's Keran! How did I not think of that? I should have thought of it a long time ago! It's ridiculous that I was still thinking left and right before I was in a trance, and it turned out that I was in the wrong direction at all.

This realization seemed to make me repent, and it also gave me the best reason to forget about the disturbing things and focus on Kairan.

So I became more involved in Kairan's work. After all, the alternative products on the market are inferior to Kairan in terms of performance because of the defective formula, we seize its weakness to make a fuss about the sales policy, and increase investment in research and development, the company's performance has improved rapidly, Guo Kai and everyone are finally relieved.

However, for Guo Xin, I also gradually understood that the previous rumors were true during this period of contact. This Lao Guo's younger brother, perhaps because of the natural hard work of the sales staff, coupled with his status as a relative of the emperor, his style of action is quite unsightly, the interests are current, the scramble is very fierce, there is a problem, and the responsibility is cleaner than anyone else.

Today, because Guo Kai is on a business trip, I went to the Science and Technology Bureau with Guo Xin to implement the high-tech subsidy. Guo Xin was very arrogant, and negligently left an important application information, and in a hurry, he had to ask the Administration Department to send it over immediately. I couldn't help frowning slightly when I saw Li Yue'er coming out of breath, and I didn't even care to take a sip of water, but when he complained.

Who knows that there are waves of unevenness, Li Yueer brought the wrong information, presumably this is not usually her responsibility, Wang Hao is out again, and it is inevitable that mistakes will be made in the busyness when things are urgent. At the moment, when the three of them worked together to find a way to solve the urgent need, Guo Xin kept counting and stopping, forcing the little girl to cry.

I have a little disdain for what Guo Xin did, and in the final analysis, it was because of his own mistakes, but he let others carry the black pot and suffered several times. Because of the presence of his subordinates, it is inconvenient for me to say anything about him. But even if we successfully completed the task in the end, Li Yue'er's character was affected by this incident after all.

I could feel her depressed mood and remained silent on the way back. I remember the last time I was in the same car with her, or the day I returned to Kairan, she was as silent as today, and it has been nearly half a year in the blink of an eye, why is it always difficult to see her smile when I am with her?

I don't think of her for a long time, since the last time I opened my hand in self-deprecation, the half-drunk and half-awake figure of the welcome party has gradually faded into a blur in countless meetings and overtime. After all, the administration department is not the department I am in charge of, even on the same floor, I don't have many opportunities to meet her directly, not to mention that she is always very busy in my impression, and her subordinates are so conscientious for the company, the boss should be happy, and he will not take the initiative to bother.

But now, she was sitting less than a meter away from me, looking out the window quietly, motionlessly. When I looked from the back row, I could only see a few strands of hair scattered randomly around her delicate ears, gently lifted by the wind, as if caressing her pale cheeks. Her head was slightly against the window, and she was holding the thick stack of wrong documents in her arms, and I caught a glimpse of the bright red marks from the heavy document bag between her fingers, and my heart moved slightly, and the old feelings seemed to come up in an instant, and she rolled in my body regardless of it, just to find an exit to vent this confused and confused overwhelm.

I closed my eyes and exhaled softly, feeling exhausted and my heart empty, as if I couldn't find a direction.

It's past the end of the day when I got back to work, and I don't have any work to deal with, so I can leave right away. But when I saw Li Yue'er sitting at her desk in a daze, looking helpless and sad, I couldn't move my steps like I had a nail.

The sun in the C city at dusk has not yet set, only the light has been restrained and lazily shone in from the window, like a soft golden yarn lightly shrouded in her body, and the fine streamer slowly swept between her forehead and eyebrows, making her figure more delicate and moving, like the woman in the dream of the past.

Oh, that dream, the dream that I hadn't had for a long time, when I thought I was about to forget it, suddenly and so clearly reappeared before my eyes.

At this moment, looking at the increasingly dim sky and the hurried flow of people on the street, I just want to accompany her, so quietly, unknownly, with her. I don't know if it's because of that dream, or because of her.

Maybe it's all and maybe it's neither.

Time seemed to stand still in the silence of this room, and I seemed to have made up my last mind in the anxiety of the past, grabbed the car keys at the table, and walked straight to the administrative department, to the open door, as if there was a broad road in front of me, stretching into the distance, leading to the invisible future, connecting me and her original separation of thousands of miles of the world.