Li Yue'er

I sat in Chen Ran's car, listening to the sound of the wind outside the window, the cold of early winter blowing over the back of my hands and my face, repeatedly quenching my sometimes calm and sometimes dazed tossing and turning, my heart was nervous, only to feel why this way home is so long, there is no end in sight; I secretly hope that this time will slow down and slower again, and don't let the wheels stop for the first time I walked slowly with him, and there were only the two of us in this space.

Chen Ran turned on the radio in the car, but it was Eason Chan's "Ten Years". The melodious singing voice came, and EASON's voice had a natural sense of heaviness, like a person who had experienced lead and was closer to the true nature of life, singing all the sorrows in the world in a casual sigh.

“…… Ten years ago, you didn't know me, I didn't belong to you, we were still the same, accompanied by a stranger, walking through the streets that were becoming more familiar; Ten years later, we are friends, and we can still greet each other, but that kind of tenderness, we can no longer find a reason to hug, and the lover will inevitably become friends in the end......"

In ten years, how many people have come and gone in our lives, and how many people can stop and accompany us to see the scenery on the road? Even if the people who are with you now, can they last for a few decades?

I looked at Chen Ran beside me, his eyes were focused, his side face was clearly contoured, and his hands were playing the steering wheel freely, peaceful and calm, lined with the quiet air and flowing music in this carriage, giving people a sense of stability. Ten years ago, we didn't know each other, ten years later, we don't belong to each other, and in another ten years, will we still be able to sit next to each other like we do today?

It was completely dark, and the lights of the city were covered in the mist of the winter night.

"Feel aggrieved today?" Chen Ran suddenly spoke, grabbing me back from my thoughts.

I sat up straight, "No, Mr. Chen, it's true that I didn't get things done today." "I don't want to shirk it.

"You're not usually in charge of that information, are you?" Chen Ran asked lightly.

"Well, yes, Manager Wang has always been in charge of this information, and I may not have heard it clearly when he called me today, so I took it wrong." Presumably Wang Hao also accidentally forgot that it was impossible for him to deliberately embarrass me on these important things, so I took the responsibility.

"Well, it doesn't matter, after all, the mission was successfully completed." Chen Ran nodded, "This matter, it's also to blame the sales department for not confirming it in advance, so you don't have to blame yourself too much." It's okay, it's all over, be happy. ”

Chen Ran's voice has a deep warmth unique to the northern accent, as if the spring breeze of ten miles has penetrated into the steep winter, faintly revealing the gentleness of Hexu. My heart was as warm and cold as the temperature difference between inside and outside the window, and I couldn't speak for a while.

"Are you from Province C?" Seeing that I was not as restrained as I was just now, Chen Ran turned off the radio and asked kindly.

"Ah, yes, Mr. Chen, I'm from County D, and I'm very close to City C."

"Oh, I've heard, you're famous for your hot sauce there." Chen Ran said with a smile.

Speaking of the specialties of my hometown, I also feel cordial, "Yes, there are everywhere in Province C, and even in other provinces." When I was in college, there was a small supermarket in front of the school that sold it. I was surprised to see it at the time. "Thinking back to my carefree college days, I unconsciously relaxed, and the corners of my lips overflowed with smiles.

"Well, the cuisine of Province C is famous all over the country, and the hot sauce of County D is indispensable, and even I, a northerner who doesn't eat much spicy, feel full of taste. Where did you go to college? ”

"Oh, I studied at Yanbei Institute of Technology, a very ordinary university."

"Really?" Chen Ran's eyes seemed to light up, "It's actually the university in my hometown!" What a coincidence! ”

"Really? Mr. Chen, are you from Y City? "I was also amazed and couldn't help but sigh at the coincidence of fate.

"That's right, the industrial base in our great northeast is not as beautiful as the mountains and rivers of C City. I've been running in the south all these years, and I'm familiar with the climate here, but when I go back to my hometown, I still don't get used to it, and I feel dry. Chen Ran said with a smile.

I accidentally found the intersection of each other, which made me instantly feel that the distance between me and Chen Ran was a lot closer, "Actually, I quite like Y City, although the winter is dry and cold, but the house is warm, and the sun often comes out in the winter in the north, and when it is sunny, people's mood is like a sunny day, unlike the winter in C City, which is always cold and damp, and it is rare to see the sun." "I said so much at once, and when I was done, I realized if I was going to say too much.

Chen Ran didn't seem to care, and continued, "It's like this in the inland south, I used to live in N Province, a seaside city, it's not so cold, and a large number of northerners fly in winter to spend the winter, have you ever been to N City?" ”

"Ah, I haven't been." Hearing him ask me, he shook his head and said, "When I was a student, I wanted to run home as soon as I had a holiday, and there were fewer holidays when I went to work, and there were too many suspects during the eleventh long holiday, and during the Spring Festival, relatives at home were indispensable to walk around to worship the New Year and worship their ancestors, let alone go out." ”

"That's right, the so-called adults are uncomfortable, and they can't find time to travel all year round." Chen Ran seemed to sigh, and suddenly remembered something and asked, "By the way, the company has annual leave, right?" ”

"Well, yes, it's a full year. However, the work of the administration department is still very busy, and the manpower is relatively tight, and this year's annual leave has not had time to be repaired. Suddenly realizing that he was talking to his boss, mentioning work and vacation, he couldn't help but lower his voice.

Chen Ran looked at me and smiled, "What? Afraid of your boss criticizing you? You're also being too careful, it's a legitimate right as an employee, what's there to be embarrassed about? After a pause, he cleared his throat, as if after a few minutes of consideration, he said, "The scenery of N City is very good, you can go and see it if you have the opportunity, as an outsider who has been there for more than ten years, there is no problem for you to be a tour guide!" ”

I was slightly shocked and couldn't help but look up at him. His expression was calm, as if he were saying something that could not have been more natural. Chen Ran, he said that he could be my tour guide. Will I have such a familiar day with him?

N City, a famous coastal city in the South China Sea, is rich in products, melons and fruits, and full of rich tropical style, and I have indeed wanted to go there more than once to see the wonderful sea view. But since Chen Ran came into my life, I have a complex feeling of affection for this city, yes, N city is so beautiful, there is a blue sky and blue sea, there are white waves and sand gulls, there is Chen Ran, but there is also his family and his home.

I haven't forgotten this, I know that Chen Ran graduated from N University, and then worked and settled in the local area, until he founded Kairan. This city is full of his past, and the bits and pieces of his life with his family, every grass and tree, every flower and leaf, have nothing to do with me, so how can I set foot on this land with peace of mind and full of longing?

Thinking of this, I can't help but feel gloomy. Tour guide, one day, even if I really ride the waves on the beach in N City, how can I let my boss be my tour guide? Chen Ran, it's just a joke.

But how can these thoughts be known to Chen Ran, I have to follow his words and say, "Thank you, Mr. Chen, I will definitely go if I have the opportunity." ”

Chen Ran sent me downstairs, only to find out that the place where I lived was next to his community, a dormitory building in a unit in the 90s, although it was old, because it was close to the company and convenient life, I settled down not long after arriving at Kairan. College students who have just left school are very satisfied with having a cost-effective place to live in the city center. Take a walk by the river in your spare time, the willow branches on both sides are graceful, the water is rippling under your feet, and there is a Qingming cave in the hustle and bustle of the city.

The apartment rented by the company for Chen Ran is in the best neighborhood nearby, and it is only across the Xiuhe River from where I live. Due to the high floor, the view and lighting are excellent, and the river breeze in summer and autumn is refreshing, which is indescribably pleasant.

In fact, I have long known that Chen Ran lives close to me, after all, the logistics management of the bosses belongs to the work of the administrative department. It's just that Chen Ran didn't ask, so naturally I couldn't mention it. At this time, he found that I lived next to him, and he seemed to be a little surprised and said, "I didn't expect us to live so close, what a coincidence!" ”

I smiled embarrassedly, "My old community doesn't dare to compare with your high-end residence, Mr. Chen." ”

"Huh, do you mind that? It's just a place to live, besides, this is the company's allocation to the CEO, not to me, and it will be the same if you sit in this position one day. ”

Chen Ran didn't think so, but I waved my hand again and again, "Don't dare, don't dare, Mr. Chen laughs at me, I'm just talking, Mr. Chen, don't mind." ”

"Xiao Li is still very polite, don't be nervous, I'm the leader during working hours, and I can be your friend outside eight hours, don't be too restrained." Chen Ran pointed to the square outside, "Do you usually go for a walk by the river?"

I followed his hand and looked out, only to see the colorful lights on the riverside square gradually lit up, the small vendors selling barbecue or gadgets put down their tables and chairs to prepare for the upcoming busyness, and after the meal, people slowly gathered in groups to the square, dancing, skating, eating food stalls, and the sound of the murmuring of the river, like a beautiful symphony, showing the world the nightlife that is about to start in City C.

I couldn't help but be fascinated by this scene full of life, and it took me a long time before I spoke, "Yes, on weekend mornings, I love to walk by the river and breathe in the fresh air." ”

"Really? I also work out there on the weekends. Chen Ran pointed to a row of bright street lamps on the opposite side of the river bank and told me, "I often run along that path, there are few people there, and it is very comfortable to run." ”

The lights in the distance faded into a faint splendor in the night, like clusters of freshly lit torches, jumping in my eyes and heart. In fact, he didn't know that I once saw him on a morning of a walk, wearing a black sportswear and headphones, facing the rising red sun, moving forward at a uniform speed and firmness. People who get up in the morning to exercise, or boxing, or sword dancing, or walking, like a flowing painting, he shuttles by, like a stroke of luck and vivid splashing ink freehand. I just looked at him quietly, motionless, through the sparkling waves of the embroidery river, greedily watching his back farther and farther away, until I could no longer see him.

Chen Ran was still looking at the other side of the river, as if he was in deep thought, how could he have thought that the person sitting beside him at this moment had looked at him with such a humble and deep gaze?

There was a little bit of dampness in our eyes, and the car had been parked downstairs for a long time, but we didn't say goodbye for a long time. I suddenly felt that something was wrong, and smiled at Chen Ran awkwardly, "Mr. Chen, I'm here, thank you for sending me back today."

Chen Ran seemed to be suddenly interrupted from his thoughts, he was stunned for a moment, and his eyes seemed to darken, "Oh, okay, you're welcome." Then he smiled lightly, "Xiao Li, you are very good, I am very happy that Kairan can have an employee like you." He held out his hand to me.

I was a little flattered, and hurriedly stretched out my hand to shake it back, "Mr. Chen, thank you for your encouragement, it is also my honor to be a part of Kairan, I will work hard." ”

"Okay, then, goodbye." Chen Ran nodded at me, smiled slightly, and rolled up the window.

I stood on the side of the road, his car turned in front of me, started, accelerated, I carried my bag, waved at him, and quietly watched his car fade away, along with his people, his voice, out of my sight.

I didn't go home immediately, but sat in the pavilion in the garden downstairs, and the embroidery river not far away was like a thick brocade in the night, gently rippling with gorgeous and soft ripples, and flowing into the distance. After today, I understand that I can no longer avoid Chen Ran, and I can no longer use those seemingly grandiose but lame excuses to restrain those inexplicable entanglements, if nothing else, even for his comfort and encouragement today, I should return the favor, at least a normal relationship between leaders and subordinates, basic communication and exchanges should be necessary.

However, I don't seem to have completely sorted out my thoughts, and the hundreds of turns and thousands of times that I thought had gradually gone away still jumped out familiarly and clearly when facing Chen Ran, gently tugging at my heartstrings and causing ripples. If deliberate avoidance could not cut off all my reverie about him, how could I guarantee that I would be able to sit alone like a pillar and sail without my heart moving in the day-to-day meetings with him in the future?

However, I have to admit that in this repeated entanglement of contradictions, there is still a trace of stealing happiness breaking through the ground, spreading and growing in the bottom of my heart, as if from now on I finally have a reason to meet him in the narrow world of Kairan, and no longer use it as a cocoon to separate this bright time and space.

Chen Ran

I looked in the rearview mirror of the car, and the figure standing on the side of the road was motionless, getting smaller and smaller, smaller and smaller, and finally submerged in the vast night, never to be seen again.

I couldn't stop sighing in my heart.

Raising my hand and glancing at the time, 40 minutes, the time I spent so hard to get in exchange for walking with her was only 40 minutes.

couldn't help but smile bitterly, Chen Ran, does this make sense?

All her words were so polite and detached, and she adhered to her subordinate duties, even when I racked my brains to try to find some intersection between the two, but in her question and answer, I finally went back to work, as if my relationship with him could no longer extend to other areas.

But, Chen Ran, apart from work, what other category do you want? Friend? Don't forget that you are a round older than her, you are two generations of people, and there is something in this world called the most remote, called the "generation gap".

Have you forgotten her incredulous look and noncommittal attitude when you said you could be friends eight hours away? For a girl who has just stepped into society for less than two years, it feels strange to be friends with a married male boss who is a round older than her. You think so too, right? Then don't be surprised by her reaction.

Wake up, Chen Ran, haven't you always persevered well? What's going on today? It's as if every time you get closer to her, your mind will uncontrollably act impulsively. But it's okay, today's journey will make you sober, at least you clearly feel that you are to her, it is indeed as you think of 108,000 miles away, and the invitation you are planning to N City is just a polite thank you to her, and even the farewell is not her initiative? I'm afraid that staying with you for a long time will cause embarrassment and misunderstanding. As the saying goes, "If you don't reach the Yellow River, you won't die, and if you don't see the coffin, you won't cry", now you can use a few male tears to mourn your dead heart.

I couldn't help but feel depressed for a while, I rolled the window, and the cold wind of the winter night poured in, wrapped in the unique clear breath of the river, which made people feel excited. I took out a cigarette and lit it, and the smoke was quickly blown away by the wind, leaving no trace, just like my unclear impulse to see off, and finally ended like smoke and disappeared without a trace.

Chen Ran, are you lonely? It's been almost three months since I left H City and left Xiaojuan, and the time has gone from autumn to winter, so long time no see, don't you miss her?

Yes, it should be like this, after all, hot-blooded men in their thirties, far away from their lovers, wandering alone, it is inevitable to be lonely after a long time, and occasionally there are some careful thoughts, in the final analysis, because of loneliness.

Alas, is that really the case?

Xiaojuan's thin figure that night resurfaced in my mind, at that time each other had a knot, I also left in a hurry, I couldn't sit down and talk calmly before parting, now look back and think about it, am I too stingy, after all, I am a man, the head of the family, and my wife have a conflict to win or lose? Could it be that it is better to live alone for a lifetime with such cold words?

Yes, I'm a man, so I should be generous.

The neon outside the car window quickly receded, and I took a sharp puff of my cigarette, threw away the cigarette butt, as if throwing away all the previous distractions, took out the phone and found the most familiar number that I hadn't opened for a long time.

The phone rang for a long time in the dark night before it was picked up, "Hey", Xiaojuan's voice was sluggish, and there was no surprise and excitement.

My fiery heart was quickly extinguished as if I had fallen into an ice cellar.

"Xiaojuan? Outside? There was a faint sound of drinking and guessing fists on the other end of the phone, and I seemed to see Xiaojuan wearing heavy makeup shuttling between a group of wine-colored men and women, and I was very unhappy, and I couldn't help but raise my voice.

"Where else could it be? Socializing in the unit. Xiaojuan replied angrily.

I realized that I had a bad breath, and I came today to ease the atmosphere, not to make the old knot unsolved and add a new knot, I took a deep breath, suppressed my emotions, and said gently, "Drink less, your body is important." It's over, go back early, don't be too late. I'll ask my mom to cook you some decanting soup and send it to you. ”

Thinking that I didn't expect me to suddenly be friendly with her who I hadn't seen for a long time, Xiaojuan was silent for a while and replied, "Okay."

Seeing that her mood seemed to have changed a little, I couldn't help but feel a stir in my heart, "Xiaojuan, it's New Year's Day soon, I want to go back to see you, we haven't seen each other for almost three months." After speaking, he quietly waited for a reply on the other end of the phone.

The other end of the phone was unusually quiet, Xiao Juan seemed to be far away from the place where she was socializing just now, but she didn't reply after being silent for as long as the previous sentence, "You are still willing to come back" There was already some coquettishness in her tone.

I smiled lightly, and my heart suddenly brightened, "My wife is there, of course I want to go back." ”

"It's just three days off, it's too rushed."

"If you rush back, you have to go back to see my wife."

Xiaojuan laughed, and the corners of my lips curled, even if the ice and snow melted, the piano and the piano sounded.

"Hey, Chen Ran, why don't I come to your side on New Year's Day, I haven't been to City C yet, so I'm just going over to have fun." At this moment, Xiaojuan was also interested.

"It's okay, come here, I'll take you around here, and now I can be half a tour guide." I agree.

"Okay, that's it, I'll book a ticket tomorrow."

"Good. Remember to drink less and go back early. ”

"Got it, husband, bye-bye!"

Xiaojuan happily hung up the phone, and I closed the phone with satisfaction. Tell yourself again with certainty: Chen Ran, did you see it? You just got distracted because you had an awkward quarrel with Xiaojuan, how can husband and wife have an overnight feud, now you are reconciled as before, nothing has changed, Xiaojuan is your wife, the person you have been with for a lifetime, you are a man who has been married for many years with a happy family and a successful career, you really can't toss your own stable life for some inexplicable emotions and people, the cost performance is too low, not cost-effective, not worth it.

Don't toss, Chen Ran, you must remember.

I kept nodding my head to warn myself, and with a hard push on my feet, the car drove away.