Li Yue'er

Even if I received a text message from Chen Ran telling me that everything was okay and not to worry, I was still worried, I wanted to catch him and ask him about it, but I was afraid that I would meet him again and cause criticism. For a while, I paid special attention to the eyes of the people around me, wanting to find some clues from them, but I was really afraid of finding something unusual, how should I deal with it calmly...... This entanglement and repetition made me panic all day like a fly without a head.

When I got off work, Chen Ran was waiting for me at the intersection not far from the company as usual, but at the moment, I seemed to feel that the eyes of the whole world were focused on me and him, how could I still get on the car in place with peace of mind. However, I really need someone to comfort me, not to mention that I also want to know how he and Mr. Guo will break down our relationship. After thinking about it, he finally held back a sentence, "Chen Ran, you wait for me at the third intersection." "I believe that the distance from the company determines the level of safety.

"Oh, girl, the third intersection is almost at your house." Chen Ran said helplessly on the phone, "Are you sure you really want this?" ”

I smiled wryly and nodded, the world was caught off guard one after another, I had already experienced too much today, and I really didn't have the strength to bear more accidents, so I just insisted on hanging up the phone.

Who knew that after walking a few steps, he heard the horn next to him dripping, and turned his head to see that Chen Ran's car had driven to his side, he rolled down the window and said to me gently, "Girl, get in the car, it's okay." His eyes were so determined, as if the afterglow of the sky at this time, full of indifferent glow, made people calm, I couldn't help but stop, and after a short period of astonishment, obediently got into the car.

The road is not lonely, I think Chen Ran knows that I am uncertain today, and only chooses recent interesting stories to joke with me. But how could I be such a calm person, and when I saw that he didn't mention anything about the morning, my heart was even more frightened. It was easy to get to the door of the community, Chen Ran pulled over and stopped the car, but he was not in a hurry to say goodbye to me, turned his head to look at me, and smiled slightly, "I know you've been worried about a day, there's nothing to worry about, girl, didn't I send you a message earlier, it's okay, everything is fine, relax." ”

Hearing him finally mention it, I couldn't hold back the anxiety in my heart anymore, and grabbed his sleeve, "Really, Chen Ran, Mr. Guo knows, what did you tell him, what did he say, we, what should we do now?" ”

"It's okay, Yue'er, listen to me" Chen Ran saw that I was still the six gods without the master, and hurriedly straightened my shoulders and looked at my eyes fixedly, "I told Guo Kai about our relationship, and he will keep it a secret for us, so don't worry, ah?" I said, everything has me, you have to believe me"

Hearing Chen Ran say that Mr. Guo would keep it secret for us, and with the friendship between them, Mr. Guo would not lie, I couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief, my heart was a little more relaxed, and I only nodded frequently and muttered, "That's good, that's good......"

Chen Ran didn't look like I was amnesty, he glanced at me, let go of my shoulder, took out a cigarette, looked out the window and said slowly, "Yue'er, have you thought about the future?" He puffed out a puff of cigarette and said with some difficulty, "Are we going to hide like this for the rest of our lives?" Yue'er, do you really think this is good? ”

I was stunned, wondering why he would suddenly say such a thing. Later, of course, I thought, how could I not want to? I'm only 24 years old, the age of flowers, of course I hope that I have a brilliant love like other girls, a gentle lover, a happy family, and a lovely child, but the wish is not a reality after all, I can't help falling in love with Chen Ran, this married man, what can I do. I can't do without him, but I don't want him to abandon Sister Xiaojuan because of me, being with Chen Ran has made me feel ashamed of her, and asking for more will only make me feel more guilty.

I can't break up with Chen Ran, and I can't do it if I marry him, so I can only hide and hide like this, and worry about it day by day, and one day I really can't hide...... Alas, I don't know, but I'll talk about that day......

You see, I am thinking like this now, in such a state, and it seems that it can only be like this......

So I didn't answer Chen Ran's question quickly, I just turned around and leaned back in the chair, lowered my eyes and smiled helplessly, "Otherwise, what else can I do?" ”

Chen Ran didn't speak, as if he was thinking about something, he threw away the cigarette butt, turned his head to look at me, brushed my hanging broken hair behind his ear, was silent for a long time, and suddenly said softly, "Yue'er, if you want to marry me, are you willing?" ”

For a moment, I couldn't believe my ears, I suspected that I had heard it wrong, until Chen Ran's voice came again, "Would you like to?" I raised my head suddenly, he put his hands on the steering wheel, and was turning his head to stare at me, his eyes were as black as jade with Ruhong's deep affection, faintly flickering with brilliance, as if the warmest breeze after the clouds disappeared and the rain gently blew through his heart, rippling round and round ripples, spreading to every inch of his body. Luoxia slanted on him, reflecting the slender shadow rippling on the body of the car, people around him came and went, his clear and dusty silhouette in the traffic switched between clear and blurred, my heart gradually dissolved in this gentle and watery time, looking at the waves of the Xiuhe River that flowed slowly not far away, like a graceful girl singing lightly, everything around seemed to be peaceful, like a floating dream as graceful and beautiful so that people drowning in it did not want to wake up.

For a moment, I felt like I was about to say those three words. I am willing, how could I not be willing, this is what I have always dreamed of. Marry your beloved, become his wife, and stay with him in the morning and twilight, "get up early in spring to pick flowers and wear them, pick up the lamp on a cold night to guess the riddle, add incense and stand to watch calligraphy and painting, and step on the moss with the moon and the shadow" This kind of affectionate couple who raise their eyebrows and fly with wings is the yearning for love when they were young, and it is also the most sincere expectation of a young woman for marriage. But the reality is like a cold moon and frost, clearly telling me that such a good moon is forged by another woman's tears and pain, how can I enjoy the years with peace of mind and sing the praises of my love?

Yes, dreams, just because it's a dream, it's just a matter of thinking about it. Thinking of this, I smiled sadly and met Chen Ran's gaze, "Sister Xiaojuan, what should I do?" ”

"I'll break up with Xiaojuan" didn't seem to surprise my question, Chen Ran said word by word.

"Don't!" I intercepted Chen Ran's words, "I don't want you to divorce Sister Xiaojuan because of me!" I took the initiative to hold Chen Ran's hand, "Chen Ran, didn't I say that?" Don't worry about me, I don't care, even if I stay behind you like this, hide and hide like this for the rest of my life, I'm willing. I don't want you to divorce Sister Xiaojuan, I don't want to see Sister Xiaojuan get hurt, then I will feel that I am the culprit who destroys your family, I will live in such a shadow forever, and I have been burdened with guilt and debt to Sister Xiaojuan, and, how outsiders look at me, I can't stand being pointed at, and those gossips that frustrate my bones and ashes, I, I can't pass my own level......" The corners of his eyes were sour, tears fell, and he hurriedly covered it with his hands, but he couldn't escape Chen Ran's gaze.

He sighed lightly and reached out to take me into his arms, "Girl, ask yourself, are you really as okay as you say?" If that's the case, you won't mind Dazhi and Xiao Yang's words so much, if that's the case, you don't have to dodge in front of your uncle like that, if that's the case, you won't be so panicked when Guo Kai sees you today. He took my hand and gently rubbed my face, "You always think only about others and don't think about yourself. You are still so young, and the road of your life is still so long, how can I bear to let you be the woman behind me all the time? How do you deal with your family and friends? One Guo Kai will scare you into six gods, what if it is someone else who comes in today? Guo Kai can keep it secret for us for the time being, but what about others? No matter how cautious and careful we are, who can guarantee that we will be able to walk safely and worry-free for decades to come? Accidents happen all the time, don't they? What will you do one day when everyone around you knows about our relationship? You say that you can't stand being pointed at, you can't stand the strange eyes of others, but have you ever thought about it, isn't the fingering of the world just in that marriage contract, without the protection of this paper, you will always be pointed at and live in the shadows, do you understand? He paused and looked into the distance, "As for Xiaojuan, you don't have to feel indebted, if I still have affection for her, I can completely selfishly maintain the status quo, just as you said, you don't ask me to give you a name, and I can also maintain the superficial balance between the three of them." But I don't want to do that, I clearly understand that I have no love for her, and if you still draw the ground as a prison in the name of marriage, it will not be fair to you and her. What's more, Xiaojuan, she ......" Chen Ran didn't continue, only sighed lightly, "Marriage is the destination of love, but it is also the imprisonment of love...... It's not a choice to let each other go free......"

I was held in Chen Ran's arms like this, and quietly listened to him talk about love and sorrow along the way. I suddenly remembered a sentence I once read in a book, "You forget what you are, and your lover sees your soul." Yes, because I love Chen Ran, and this love is so hard and hopeless in this world, I have no one to confide in this helplessness and helplessness, not even Chen Ran, so I can only continue to paralyze myself and bless myself, while deceiving myself to tell myself that I can live safe and sound in the dark shadow, and on the other hand, I pretend to be strong and tell Chen Ran not to divorce me, but is this really what I want in my heart? Chen Ran is right, if it is, I won't mind the eyes of surprises, I won't lose my soul because I was seen by Mr. Guo, in the final analysis, my swear is just because the forbearance in my character from childhood to adulthood makes me think of avoiding it as soon as I encounter a problem, I don't have the courage to fight for what I want and the result, as long as there is a way to compromise, I will not hesitate to choose to be a shrinking turtle, Chen Ran sees me very clearly, he understands everything, and because he understands, he understands me, That's why he's so sincere with me.

It's not that I'm not moved, it's not that I'm not impressed, marriage, and his Qin Se in Yuyong, should be the love life I dreamed of. Looking up at Chen Ran, his eyes were full of wind and moonlight, I bit my lip, "But Sister Xiaojuan's father just left, how can she stand it if you leave her again......"

The corners of Chen Ran's mouth pulled out a bitter smile, "Yue'er, remember that before I went back to H City, I said that I would give you a surprise when I came back?" He pressed his forehead against me and said slowly, "Originally, I was going to go back and break up with Xiaojuan this time, I knew that if I told you, you would be uneasy and would stop me, so I wanted to simply arrange everything and tell you, but I didn't expect that there were unforeseen circumstances, Xiaojuan's father actually died in a car accident, and now in such a situation, I really can't open my mouth......" Chen Ran lifted my shoulders and looked into my eyes, "But, Yue'er, please believe me, I will definitely fulfill my promise to you, Give you a complete love and home. ”

There were warm tears coming out of my eyes, I couldn't control the horror and emotion in my heart anymore, I couldn't help hugging Chen Ran, I couldn't say a word, I just couldn't stop nodding.

I saw a comfortable smile on Chen Ran's face that I hadn't seen for many days, the relief and satisfaction in his heart were so real and natural, he lowered his head and kissed my forehead, and whispered in my ear, "Girl, do you know? I was bumped into by Guo Kai today, I actually think it's very good, let me have the opportunity to say this to you, what I wanted to say for a long time...... I feel very happy" Fu smiled again, "Okay, don't cry, if you cry again, you will become a tearful person, not beautiful, good, ah?" Saying that, he wiped away my tears and patted my face, "Okay, you go back, I still have a party tonight, so I won't accompany you, go, I'll watch you enter the community." ”

I burst into tears and laughed, nodded, my heart moved, I blinked slyly, bit my lip, suddenly raised my head and kissed Chen Ran's face quietly, I didn't dare to look at his eyes anymore, and quickly got out of the car. After walking a few steps before turning around, I found that Chen Ran seemed to be still a little stunned, I couldn't help but smile, put my hands on my mouth, and only told him with my mouth, "Chen Ran, I love you", waving my hand, I turned around happily and jumped into the community, full of joy.

"Yue'er, don't tell me, your lover is Mr. Chen!" A thick black figure blocked in front of me, and a cold voice came to my face, "Don't you know that Mr. Chen is already married?!" ”