In Dr. Nguyen Li's calm narration, the origins of this qiē - including the ones I have to believe, the setting of the "apocalyptic illusion" and the "hospital reality", as well as the mystery and fate intertwined in the story, and even the truth that Dr. Nguyen Li knows - actually originated from Claudia Bai, not the "virus" I learned from the "hospital reality".

Strictly speaking, in the truth expounded by Dr. Ruan Li, the "virus" does not exist in zài, and the "Jiang" naturally does not exist in zài, and the "mysteries" that arise from the two are, of course, not zài. However, the "White Claudia" is a zài, and the "Paradise" made by "Claudia White" does not exist in its products before, but the manufacturing plan of the "Paradise", which is similar in concept and is also called "Paradise", is stored in Zài. Most of the "occult organizations" do not exist in the Zài, including the Cyberball, the Nazis, and the Ruling Bureau, but the Doomsday Shinrikyo exists and is indeed active all the time, but the truth of the Doomsday Shinrikyo is different from what I described in my diary.

In Doomsday Vision, no one can determine the source of the "mystery", but most of the "mystery" can be related to the gray fog. In the past, the apocalyptic fantasy also involved other dimensions and demons, and in today's apocalyptic fantasy, common mysterious systems such as demons, gray mist, magic patterns, and even wizards can all be classified as the origin of the "Ruling Bureau", so there are also many people who believe that the Governing Bureau - whether it is the predecessor of the Alien Space in the past, or the ruins of the current Ruling Bureau - has developed a whole set of incomprehensible paranormal technology, and then a technological disaster occurred for some reason, so some of the side effects of technology and technology were leaked, "Mystery" frequently appears in our world.

These people believe that these include prophets, messengers, wizards, and many more mystical powers that are difficult to fit into the system. can be interpreted using the Governing Bureau technology, but the only tricky thing is how to dig up and understand more of the Governing Bureau's technical information. Although the word "technology" is mentioned in a normal flavor of science and technology, however, when it comes to the actual excavation and study of these governing technologies. The whole process also feels inexplicable. So far, I have not seen anyone claim to have found a pattern of interpretation, and when research involves the technology of the Governing Bureau, it is often described as "mysterious" rather than "incomprehensible technology".

There is an essential conceptual difference between "mysterious" and "incomprehensible science and technology".

I don't know much about the Governing Bureau, and in the past Doomsday Fantasy, those other dimensions that seemed to be the predecessor of the Dominion were titled "Doomsday Fantasy". I haven't been there many times, maybe it's because I've been in a hurry, maybe it's a force that has prevented me from entering that place many times, but in retrospect, there is a difference between talking about "doomsday fantasy" from the perspective of "hospital reality" and talking about "doomsday fantasy" from the perspective of that "doomsday fantasy" in the past.

There are many noun concepts. It had changed when I arrived in the "hospital reality", and now in the apocalyptic fantasy. It has also been modified beyond recognition, for example, in the past Doomsday Fantasy, the way to obtain the magic pattern, the way to increase the level of the magic pattern, the whole process and mechanism, is actually clearer than now. As the most definite mystical power system at that time, the operation mode of the entire mystical circle was also clearer than it is now, and the fate of the demon pattern messenger itself was heavier than it is now. At the time. Also known as the Chosen One, as it literally says, the Caste and the Prophet are considered to be the two most important parts of the fate that will come to the end of the world.

However, the existence and importance of today's Demon Pattern Messenger has become very important, and the name of "The Chosen One" has been completely unheard of.

I don't miss the apocalyptic fantasy of the past, and I don't like the reality of the hospital, but compared to what I saw and heard in different worlds and different time periods, I can't help but wonder about the differences in the details between them. And I don't entirely think it's because the "world" is evolving and becoming perfect. On the contrary, whether it is the apocalyptic illusion of the past and present, or the reality of the hospital, based on what I can observe, there are many places that I personally consider extremely vague**. It is this kind of vague and ** place that makes people feel like they are in a dream.

Every experience, the world I observed, was "incomplete", the apocalyptic illusion itself contained "incomprehensible mysteries", all the "incompleteness" was completed and elaborated with "incomprehensible mysteries", and the reality of the hospital was a small scope, and I still don't know what the world beyond the island is like. Isn't it strange that the things that make me feel like my own memories are recorded in a hallucinatory way?

I have always had a kind of dissatisfaction with my memories and the world I live in, because this dissatisfaction breeds a lot of emotions and prompts me to do something that ordinary people can't do. Other people take the world they exist in for granted, and if there is a secret, it will be understandable sooner or later, but I am different.

I think that there are too many things in this world that are not so "taken for granted", not only in human society, not only in mysterious events, but also in themselves. It's hard for me to explain what makes me feel unnatural, that I don't take it for granted, and if it looks something else, then what it should look like? I really can't imagine what the real world would be like if all the qiē I experienced was not real.

If you think about it according to this logic, it will only make people's brains messed up. It's as if these questions involve the ultimate philosophy of humanity and there is no definite answer.

However, when I think about it like this, I do have a feeling that "everything is an illusion". The closest description of this feeling is undoubtedly the Buddha's interpretation of "emptiness" in the Asian occult.

However, from a philosophical and biological point of view, it is impossible for man to absorb and perceive "illusions" in a state of "emptiness". The concept of "illusion" arises in relation to the concept of "reality". It also means that no matter what I experience this qiē. What is the secret, how much is an illusion, but there must also be a corresponding "reality" in it.

I believe that this corresponding "reality", hidden behind the unreal and dream, is the basis for a certain understanding of the real world. I can't be sure exactly how many characteristics it has, but what I know for sure is that it must be "running through a qiē of the existence zài". Perhaps, it is a little difficult to understand just the theoretical description, but if we look at this basic point figuratively as "in the qiē that I can observe and feel." are all stored in zài things", isn't it easier to understand a little?

Yes, I think so, in order to recognize the truth, we must first find a real base point, and then based on this base point, to observe the surrounding qiē. And this real base point is to say a little smaller. It must be "something that exists all the time, in every situation".

In a post-apocalyptic fantasy of the past. I used to think that such things were everywhere; And upon arriving at the hospital, I began to doubt. When I learned about the existence of "virus" from the materials in the hospital, the concept of "virus" and the concept of "river" were unified. It is in this situation that I consider myself to have found the "base point of truth", that is, the hybrid concept of "virus" and "river", which exists in both hospital reality and apocalyptic fantasy, and. It is so close to me that it can be said that the characteristics it exhibits almost perfectly fit the definition of "in myself and in the qiē that I can observe and feel".

Even now, when we have arrived at the world of repeaters, in an environment where the "mysterious" system has changed dramatically again, it is still feasible to observe a qiē based on "virus" and "river", but it is also painful and hopeless to look at a qiē based on this mixed concept. Because, the meaning and result of the embodiment of "virus" and "river" do not exist in the side that is close to my ideals. On the contrary, their existence is in itself a kind of destruction and malice towards the ideal world I aspire to.

In such a situation, I will fall in love with "Jiang", which is already something that even I find incredible. It was incredible, but I accepted it - just that allowed me to assess that something must have gone wrong.

However, while accepting this situation, and trying to use this situation to correct the world that I don't think it should be, I never wonder if there will be a second one that completely contradicts this "true cardinal point", or theoretically covers its "more real cardinal point".

Because, before this, I have never heard of a more penetrating and easier to understand and accept than the mixed concepts of "virus" and "river".

It wasn't until this evening that Dr. Nguyen Le brought it up -- at least for me now, and the situations she spoke of were also relatively perfect explanations for what was happening around me. The problem is that it is more difficult to accept her statement than to accept that the reality of the hospital is the real reality, and this difficulty lies in my understanding of the world of repeaters and the inherent recognition of the dependency between the world of repeaters, the illusion of doom and the reality of the hospital.

So, when Dr. Nguyen Le wanted me to believe her, I could only remain silent. Even though she didn't express surprise or frustration, I still felt that I didn't want to be silent at such a time, if I could.

"Actually, I've said the same thing to you many times." Dr. Nguyen Le said, "However, it has become more and more difficult for you to know what is real, and your spirit has been torn apart in the shaking of the truth. You know, when I guide patients, most of the time, I don't just bring up situations that are in direct conflict with their ideas. Suppose a mentally ill person thinks that something exists, then, if I judge that his hallucinations are not a real threat, I will not use forceful means to sue him that that thing does not exist. Because, although the patients have mental problems, they are often stubborn. Whether the direct conflict of cognition can save the other party has not yet been completely conclusive. ”

"Mom, you mean. Have you treated me with very direct cognitive conflicts? I couldn't help but ask, "Have you tried to force what you think is right, what is true, into my head?" ”

"That's right." Dr. Ruan Li replied with an unchanged face, and her tone and expression did not fluctuate in the slightest, although she also knew. It's very unpleasant, and I can imagine that the whole process must have been full of inhumanity. Forcibly adjusting the mental condition of mentally ill patients cannot avoid the use of some cruel drugs and illegal drugs with great side effects. I'm at this time. I don't have any feelings or memories of this, but I don't think Dr. Nguyen Le is lying.

She doesn't have to lie, and I don't dislike her because of it, it's my character, and she should know that, I think.

"I've always regretted it, maybe I was too anxious to get results." Dr. Nguyen Li's eyebrows softened, full of apologies. "Since then, the effectiveness of stimulant therapy has been declining. In the pre-treatment phase, your appearance is normal for a while, however, it quickly returns to the onset of the disease. ”

"You mean, hallucinations?" I asked. I know, she has always thought of me, abnormal behavior and abnormal thoughts. It's all based on hallucinations. And the diary I wrote must be very incredible in the eyes of ordinary people. If you can't get in touch with the "mystery", it is just a story full of delusions, but Dr. Nguyen Le has so far shown an incredible resistance to the "mysterious".

If Dr. Nguyen Le is not regarded as a "mysterious inhibiting force" and a "repeater core", then. Her existence is undoubtedly more real than any mystery.

It is this reality that makes me willing to listen to Dr. Nguyen Lie, even if I think it is more incredible than the "hospital reality"—the existence of the "hospital reality" for anyone who cannot reach the "hospital reality". It's incredible in itself.

"Whether it's just a hallucination or not, it's impossible to be sure, but the word hallucination is indeed the most common term at present." Dr. Nguyen Li gave a ** reply.

I was thinking that Dr. Nguyen Li was a bit of a sell-out, so she continued: "Actually, you have lost more memories than you think. For example, are you really sure that the diary you write is the only one you see? ”

"What do you mean?" Although there was nothing incomprehensible about what Dr. Nguyen Li said, an unexpected impulse was born in my heart.

"You started keeping a diary before you became like this." Dr. Nguyen Le said: "When your condition was not so severe, the record in your diary was different from the current record. It's not a lack of relevance, but it looks more like two worlds. You think you've been sixteen or seventeen years old when you've seen a mysterious world, about Doomsday Shinrikyo, White Claudia, and Paradise, but in fact, you've heard about them when you've been eight years old. ”

I was silent, a little incredulous, what Dr. Ruan Li said may be that I had already stored the "Gao Chuan" in this world before I arrived in this repeater world, but the huge difference in age made people feel incredible. Dr. Nguyen Li's words mean that this repeater world preserves all the activities and records of the "Gao Chuan" that has been stored since at least the age of eight.

And my own records of my own activities and existences, in terms of the Doomsday Illusion alone, have disappeared long before the past Doomsday Illusion was destroyed.

Compared with me now, the Gao Chuan that Dr. Ruan Li knows undoubtedly has a more real feeling.

"Do you remember your past before you came into contact with those mysterious events?" Dr. Nguyen Le asked me.

I shook my head, because, although I have a little impression, it is true that not everything is clear. I've forgotten a lot of things, including the sounds and smiles of my parents and childhood friends. I've always felt that this is a very normal thing, and when people grow up, most of the memories they have are vague outlines. That's why you feel like you're seeing.

"You've never wondered why your memories are so vague before you became a Demon Emringer?" Dr. Ruan Li said as she stepped on the pebbles on the side of the road with her foot, and she was leading me towards her room, "Actually, people's memories are not always so vague, and there are always some chance opportunities that will make people clearly recall the things that impress them, especially the people they care about." ”

"Mom, do you want to say that the reason why my memories are vague is because those memories are all false?" I asked sharply.

"Yes, in your diary now, you don't record the past, and in your diary before that, what you recorded about yourself is false. You've just made some settings for your identity and background that are more in line with the protagonist of the story. Although there is no shortage of general background information mentioned in the diary, in general - no parental constraints, a certain amount of money, the ability to transform one's own room into a workshop at will, having relevant technical knowledge, etc. - is it not for those frequent adventures after the story develops? You don't even think about it, or you don't care at all, how an honor student in a school can achieve those willful choices without alarming the adults. In what you think is the true story, when you first met Zuo Jiang, that strange and charming woman was so easily integrated into your life, and then, the focus of your life was also in the spring and autumn penmanship, as a matter of course, avoiding any practical troubles in life, and simply moving from high school studies to foreign adventures. Don't you think it's really unnatural and unrealistic? ”

"From the perspective of hospital reality, the apocalyptic illusion is not reality." I retorted.

"So, you think hospital reality is reality?" Dr. Nguyen Lê's question was very forceful, and I could only remain silent.

I also don't think that hospital reality is reality.

"In fact, even in the near future, a large part of the diary you have written has actually been forgotten by yourself." Dr. Nguyen Le changed the subject and said, "You said that you wrote more than you think. Maybe you don't remember, but in the third person, you described other Takakawa, including the prosthetic Takakawa and Dorothy, as well as the reality of the hospital. It's just that, I think, when you're in a first-person diary, that's what you think you can really see, so it's the third-person description of the things you didn't see, which seems formal in the way you write a first-person story, but the problem is that you do forget what you're writing in the third person. ”

I couldn't help but widen my eyes, I forgot the story I had written? No, it should be understood that Dr. Nguyen Li thinks that I have forgotten the contents of the diary written by Gao Chuan, whom she knew in the past? Although it is okay to think so, Dr. Ruan Li's statement is indeed not a problem.

"When did I write this ......" I paused and asked, "Is there any evidence?" ”

Dr. Nguyen Le shrugged, opened the door, took out his laptop from his suitcase, and said, "We have repeated this conversation many times in the past, but the more you get to it, the more it looks like the first time you hear something like this." I can't guarantee that after you have confirmed the evidence this time, you will forget about it and think that you never saw it. ”

"I'll record it. Write it in your diary. I hurriedly said.

"You see, you will selectively forget what you have written." Doctor Ruan Li sighed, "Such a guarantee is actually meaningless, you can't control yourself at all." Actually, we've known about this for a long time. ”

Her meaning is obvious—I can't control myself, I will always selectively forget some truth, so that I will immerse myself in hallucinations, and even take hallucinations as reality, so even if I see the evidence now, I will either forget about it later, or I will bypass it and attach it to the illusion as much as possible.

"Turning a blind eye...... Are you trying to say that? Mom. I watched as Dr. Ruan Li lifted the screen and said hesitantly. In her eyes, this is probably the most difficult situation when treating me. (Want to know more exciting updates from "Restricted Doomsday Syndrome"?) Open WeChat now, click on the "+" sign in the upper right corner, select Add Friends to add an official account, search for "Qidianzhongwenwang", follow the official account, and never miss every update! book2002) (To be continued......)