All these years, whether I want to admit it or not.

I miss them all.

In the middle of countless lonely and silent nights, when I stood at the window, I would always think of the bits and pieces at the mountain gate, until a certain picture, it would come to an abrupt end.

That picture was a pain that I didn't dare to touch for many years, and now with a lingering sentence and a tear rolling down, I finally have the courage to think about it.

It was a rainy morning, and everything was as usual.

After the morning class, Master and Brother Zhengchuan disappeared I didn't care, just because Brother Zhengchuan's natal formation was not completed, they often disappeared like this.

When drawing the natal pattern, there should be no disturbance.

I also have a lot of things to do, and the more I learn, the more I feel that the formation is as vast as the sea, and can I get a scoop of water in it?

On a calm morning, I was accompanied only by the sound of rain and a yellowed formation book.

I was deeply immersed in it, until noon, and I didn't wait for the familiar 'smell of fireworks', which was a signal that Brother Zhengchuan wanted to cook on the stove, as long as it was at the mountain gate, unless it was the day of Bigu, except for it, no matter what important things were, as long as the time came, Brother Zhengchuan would always cook.

It's only because of Master's words, no matter what, when you are full, you have the strength to do it.

Behind the words is a mentality, an indifferent mentality, I know.

So, it was very unusual not to smell the 'smell of fireworks', and I finally got up and wanted to go and see what was going on, but I didn't want to go out, but what I saw was Master standing quietly outside my door.

"Master, how long have you been standing here? Are you here to check on me again? I've got a lot of work! I said this subconsciously, with a normal smile on my face.

Master always plays this game, when I was still a child? So unconscious.

"Ye Zhengling." Master looked at me and called out my name.

My smile froze on my face, and after entering the mountain gate, unless there was something unusually solemn, Master would not call me by name like this.

"You go down the mountain." There was no pause in between, and Master was very direct.

"Is there anything you want me to do down the mountain?" I breathed a sigh of relief and laughed again.

"No, after you go down the mountain, you don't have to go back to the mountain gate." Master's expression didn't show any change, and his tone only became calmer.

This time my smile was completely broken, outside the main hall, in the promenade, I felt that the rain close to autumn was really cool, and the summer on the mountain always ended faster.

"The apprentice doesn't understand, please make it clear to the master." I lowered my head, clenched my fists and didn't realize it, from this sentence, my tone was already a little alienated, and cracks began to appear in my heart, and I couldn't stop it, I watched it.

"Pack your things. Go down the mountain now, there is nothing explicit, it's just that you and I are masters and apprentices, and you have been expelled from the mountain gate. After the Master said this, he turned around and left.

'Boom', behind him, was the sound of me suddenly kneeling, and he didn't look back.

"Master, what did I do wrong?" I yelled at his back, and he drifted away, and soon, I couldn't even see my back.

"I'm not leaving, how can you have the final say in this kind of thing alone? I just won't leave, I'll stay here, if you kill me, I won't leave. "I didn't want to stay at the mountain gate in such an almost fraudulent way, but at that moment, I panicked, I couldn't find any other way than this.

Like a drowning man, he grabs the last straw and refuses to let go.

The master stopped, still not looking back, but his voice came from afar: "Do I give you a reason, and you are willing?" ”

"And to give you a reason, just to make you willing. If you don't leave, then you can stay, and I'll go with Masakawa. ”

At that moment, my tears dripped down the mountain gate, which entangled me with so many feelings and memories, it was because he and his brother were in the mountain gate, if they left, the mountain gate would be 'dead', leaving only a pile of lifeless buildings!

Master, why did you suddenly fall so desperate?

I was stung, it turns out that a sad person can still be angry, how can he do this to me when I am angry? I understand that in this world, no one takes anyone's feelings for granted, and there is no escape, and some people, you just don't allow him (she) to have no feelings for you.

Just because people hurt.

So, I straightened up and said 'yes' out loud with a coldness that I couldn't believe.

"Shanmen has limited resources and can only train one person. Zhengchuan has been picked up by me since he was a child, is it possible to ask him to go? Master said this word by word.

I suddenly had a feeling that the world was broken, didn't Master understand, what resources do I want? All I want is the warm storage of Master and Brother Zhengchuan? But I couldn't speak, and the hardness that I had just had just now shattered in an instant.

"I don't want any resources." This sentence seems to have exhausted all my strength, and those who can't express it are destined to suffer even more.

"It's already very difficult for the mountain gate not to raise idlers." After the master said this, the whole person began to move forward again.

In the blur of tears, I looked at Master's back, and for the first time I felt so strange

"Ye Zhengling understood." This time, no longer a disciple Then, I began to kowtow heavily, one, two, three The sound of my kowtow echoed in the wooden corridor, today is ruthless, it does not mean that I can forget the grace of his day.

This kowtow is what I deserve.

Master must have heard it, so before his back completely disappeared, another sentence floated in my ears: "Hurry up, it's still early, I can still send you out of the mountain gate." ”

I stood up, wiped away my tears, went back to my room in silence, and began to clean up!

For a while, I felt that I wanted to bring all my things, and for a while, I felt that there was nothing at all, what was there to pack? I can't blame anyone, Master's reasons are enough for me to figure out why, but in terms of personal emotion, I can't agree with this sudden distance.

Before parting, I want to go to Brother Zhengchuan, the entire mountain gate is empty, where is there any Brother Zhengchuan? Does he know, or does he not know? I have a hint of ridiculous fantasies in my heart.

In front of the mountain gate, the drizzle was falling.

Looking at the sky in the distance, there is an inexplicable red gray as if it has lost its vitality, but the gray heart can still ooze bright red blood.

I was in front, Master was behind, I looked at the sky in the distance and was silent, Master was silent behind me.

After a minute of silence, I only whispered, "Let's go." ”

"Anyway, you are also from Shanmen, and after a while, I will drag someone to bring you some things. If you can practice without falling behind, it is better not to fall behind. There seemed to be a slight warmth to the remark.

I looked up at Master with hope, and there was no wind or rain on his face, but he just said, "Let's go." ”

The fragment of memories has come to an end here, and before I know it, a few tears have already rolled down a few drops in the wine glass in my hand.

Brother Zhengchuan looked at me, and at that moment, his eyes were full of familiar warmth.

Once, when he saw me as a younger brother, he couldn't see that I was wronged, and this kind of look was instinctive, and he didn't seem to be able to change it.

So, he lowered his head and asked softly, "What are you thinking?" ”

"I think that day, when I knelt behind the master, I lied to say that I would not leave, the back of the master." After speaking, I drank the wine and drank it all, since you are also sad, Master, why did you drive me down the mountain.

Now the reason is clear, it seems to be for me, but do you not believe that I can face life and death with you after all?

"Oh, I was there that day, in the room at the end of the hallway." Brother Zhengchuan's tone was light, and he also drank a glass of wine.

"Are you there?" I was amazed, but I didn't need to ask, he had already said that the day I went down, he didn't want to face it at all.

"yes, yes." While speaking, Brother Zhengchuan drank a glass of wine, and then said: "That kind of master, I have never seen it again in my life, never again." ”

"How?" The wine with tears seems to be a little bitter in the mouth, lingering in the throat.

"One step at a time." After Brother Zhengchuan said this, his eyes suddenly turned red, and this time he directly grabbed the wine bottle and poured himself a sip of wine.

It turned out that what I saw that day was a ruthless back.

On the other end, Brother Zhengchuan saw a sad old man who was crying step by step.

My hands trembled so much, I couldn't help but clutch my pants tightly, my fingertips were white, I had to endure it, don't cry! The pain when you can't cry is unforgettable.

'Peng', Brother Zhengchuan stomped the wine bottle on the table, and then looked at me with red eyes, "Do you miss this old man very much?" But if there is no accident, we and him should be gone in this life. ”

"What did you say?" My fingers became cold, and the coldness spread all over my body at once.

"Your arrival was a promise." Brother Zhengchuan wiped his face vigorously as he spoke, and then said in a hoarse voice: "And Master, this stupid old man, not only kept his promise to the end, but also did things other than the promise because he cared about you. ”

I don't understand the meaning of this sentence, why my arrival is a promise, and I don't want to understand.

I was so cold that I drank desperately, but the heat of the liquor in my throat didn't warm my body.

I mustered up the courage to ask Brother Zhengchuan, "Master, Master, has he already gone?" ”

"No, but it's no different than going." Brother Zhengchuan looked at me, and the tears that he had endured for a long time also fell.

"Third, I'm also a homeless person. And I, too, have lost you and Master. ”

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