"Hatch!!"

"Which bastard is scolding me." Zhang Xiaoyu scratched the windbreaker and hat on his head, this windbreaker and hat wrapped around his head, making him very uncomfortable, but he couldn't pull it off.

At this time, he was walking in an empty square, and less than 500 meters in front of him was the government building.

The government building in South Park, a small town, is a bit like the White House, but the White House in the style of paper cut-outs always looks a little less solemn and a little more...... Uh, wonderful......

Zhang Xiaoyu walked to the front of the government building, and a security guard stopped Zhang Xiaoyu with a serious face, and asked: "Sir, please show the invitation letter, no one can enter the government building without an invitation." Sorry, I'm just doing my business, I'm here in South Park, but I'm notoriously dedicated. ”

Zhang Xiaoyu would have any invitations, but he only said one word, and the security guard let him go.

He said, "Sir, aliens are going to attack Earth, and I need to inform the mayor as soon as possible." ”

The security guard said, "Oh. Then follow me. Then he turned around and led the way.

Well, by the way, it's really dedicated......

Zhang Xiaoyu felt that the eggs hurt a lot, and in this South Park, he really couldn't convince them with normal words......

The security guard took Zhang Xiaoyu and walked all the way in, and soon, he entered the hall of the government building, went up to the second floor, and came to the mayor's office.

The security guard was so nervous that he didn't even knock on the door, he broke into the mayor's office directly, and shouted: "Oh no, aliens have invaded the earth!" ”

The mayor sat up from under the desk at once, brushed the messy hair in front of his forehead, and said, "Oh my God, the aliens are coming!" ”

As she said this, her body was still moving back and forth, making the chair creak......

The sheriff's voice came from under the desk: "Madam Mayor, how does the mint smell feel?" ”

As she spoke, the sheriff showed her head, and the mayor-sheriff quickly pushed the sheriff's fat head off, and said, "Now I announce that I will send all of South Park's armed forces to fight the defense of the earth!" Aliens must not be allowed to invade Earth! ”

Zhang Xiaoyu stood on the side, and found that he couldn't interject...... In other words, doesn't this female mayor need to track down the authenticity of this news?

"That's it, Madam Mayor." Zhang Xiaoyu stood up, "I have a suggestion, I don't know if you can take it." ”

"Who are you?" The sheriff stood up from under the desk, and before his pants were pulled up, he looked at Zhang Xiaoyu with a serious face and said, "Every lie anyone tells in front of me can't escape my eyes, because I'm the sheriff of South Park." ”

The security guard next to him listened to the sheriff's words, and then he suddenly realized, turned to Zhang Xiaoyu and said, "Yes, who are you?" ”

The mayoress also asked, "Who are you?" ”

Zhang Xiaoyu smiled bitterly, and thought, security guard, you are so dedicated, you didn't ask this question until now, sheriff, you are so dutiful, so dutiful that you even forgot to mention your pants......

However, he says, "My name is Kenny, and I'm a student at South Park Elementary. ”

The sheriff touched his fat double chin, thought for a moment, and said, "Oh, I remember, you're a child of the Carol family, I know your mother, and we used to be best friends." ”

Caro is Kenny's mom.

Zhang Xiaoyu was relieved now, it turned out that the sheriff knew Kenny's mother, so it would be easy to do, at least, the sheriff should not embarrass him anymore.

However, before he could be happy for a second, the sheriff changed his mind: "I know your family is poor, your family is poor, and now South Park is implementing a policy of eliminating the poor with a double-barrel shotgun." I'm sorry, Kenny, I'm a citizen of South Park and have a legal obligation to fulfill my legal obligations, so I had to kill you. ”

As he spoke, the sheriff pulled out a double-barreled shotgun from underneath.

Zhang Xiaoyu couldn't help but be surprised, and didn't forget to complain: "Fuck, the pants haven't been lifted yet, where did you pull out the gun?!" Then he turned and ran.

There was a "boom" sound from behind, but fortunately Zhang Xiaoyu hid quickly, hid on the wall outside the door, stretched out his head to take a look, and found that the security guard's head had been blasted into a rotten watermelon by the powerful bullets of the double-barrel shotgun, splashing blood and brains all over the ground.

The sheriff glanced at the dead body on the ground, shrugged his shoulders, and said, "Sorry, I didn't aim just now." He then yelled out the door, "Kenny, you can't escape, you're the public enemy of all of South Park, you might as well turn yourself in." ”

When Zhang Xiaoyu heard this, he thought to himself, surrendering himself has not been wiped out by you abnormal humans?

At this time, the sheriff aimed at the double-barreled shotgun and walked towards the door, but he had just taken a step when an accident happened.

Well, his pants didn't lift up, and as soon as he lifted his foot, he tripped over his pants...... and fell to the ground with a muffled "bump", and as a result, he accidentally pulled the trigger of the shotgun, and there was another "boom......

Look at the security guard lying on the floor with a head like a rotten watermelon, half of his waist was blown off, and his intestines were mixed with feces and urine, flowing all over the ground.

When Zhang Xiaoyu saw this scene, he couldn't help covering his face, sweating, and was speechless at this sheriff.

"Madam Mayor, please give me a minute, I have a clever plan to help you repel the aliens and drive them out of the earth!" Zhang Xiaoyu shouted such a line that even he thought was funny, and he almost didn't laugh.

When the mayoress heard this, she said, "You say, start the timer now!" As he spoke, he really pressed the watch on his wrist and began to time it.

Zhang Xiaoyu hurriedly said: "If you want to drive out the aliens, you can't just send the army of South Park, because the army of South Park is not much, we can abolish the policy of eliminating the poor with double-barrel shotguns, and then recruit the poor into the army, increase the number of troops, and with a strong enough force, we can defeat the aliens." ”

"It's time!" The female mayor shouted, then looked confused and said, "What did you just say?" I didn't pay attention to the ...... when I watched the time."

Zhang Xiaoyu sweated and said: "Abolish the policy of eliminating the poor with double-barreled shotguns, only the poor can defeat the aliens." When these words came out, Zhang Xiaoyu realized that these words were a little different from what he said just now......

He thought that after hearing this, the female mayor would come to the sentence "Let go of your whole family's stinky fart", and then eliminate him, a poor man.

Unexpectedly, the female mayor said: "In this case, then, I declare that from now on, the policy of eliminating the poor with double-barreled shotguns will be abolished, and the poor will be conscripted into the army, and a team of poor people's flying tigers will be formed to stop the invasion of aliens." Poor people who are conscripted into the army will have a bonus of three thousand dollars. Plus, the Poor Man's Flying Tigers, with Kenny as the captain! ”

As soon as the female mayor said this, Zhang Xiaoyu's personal attribute page was marked with a bright tick on the main quest of "Survive in South Park until the policy of "using double-barrel shotguns to eliminate the poor" is abolished.

Zhang Xiaoyu exhaled and thought to himself, this cheating father's task has finally been completed.

However, in the next second, he gasped again......

[Main quest has been updated: Stop the aliens from invading Earth]

"Damn, what the hell!" Zhang Xiaoyu couldn't help but exclaim.

The alien invasion of the earth is just his casual nonsense, but I didn't expect it to come true!

……