The fat man and I were thundered on the outside and tender on the inside, and the forehead lines were opened, please, what kind of plane are you doing, you old liar who pretends to be a ghost, as for lifting yourself so high, as if the security of the country is tied to you, probably because you have watched too many blockbusters in the United States, and everything has to do with the safety of the world, and you are shouting to save the world at every turn, fuck, as a result, you can't even handle the gun control in your country, and the finances are close to the cliff.

Uncle Li, you say that you are not good at learning, why if you don't learn, you will borrow money all over the world to repay your debts, and as soon as you are urged to repay the money, you will pull a few unsuccessful little brothers around your house and shout around your family?

"I'm not alarmist, remember the '5.29 mine disaster' in Dayan Coal Mine two years ago?" Uncle Li saw that we didn't think so, but he was not in a hurry or annoyed, and he looked confident.

"Remember, didn't you say that it was a gas explosion that killed two miners? It seems that the Autonomous Region Safety Supervision Bureau has still come, and there are a lot of reporters. "The fat man has a good memory and blurts out.

"yes, what about later?" Uncle Li smiled more and more amiably.

"Later, yes, then it seems that this matter has been suppressed, and it is over." The fat man seems to have discovered a new world all of a sudden, and he is like an old lady.

"That's right, eldest nephew, you fucking spent a long time spitting at Xingzi, and finally said that it was a little better." Uncle Li is a reasonable three-sided and unreasonable three-and-three, and as usual, he gave the fat man a crispy potsticker on the back of his head. This old ghost, how did he add a bad habit after he died, I couldn't help but sigh.

"I'm telling you, it's not a mining accident at all, you know?" Uncle Li lowered his voice, pretending to be mysterious, that look, well, it is indeed like a fake ghost, saving money for makeup, "That's when the worker was digging in the tunnel, he accidentally dug up a ghost door of a claustrophobic Japanese ghost, what a fucking gas explosion, it was all the evil spirit of the devil, that time the person died not old and young, the small team of the two operations below, more than 70 people, all were rounded by the evil ghost, the scene was miserable, the flesh on the head and melon seeds was gnawed clean, the intestines and stomach were all pulled out, there was blood everywhere, these beasts, Live to scourge the Chinese, dead and dead and not change,! ”

Uncle Li's overly vivid detailed description suddenly reminded us of the scene we saw in the underground military fortifications of the Jianxing Hotel, and we couldn't help but feel a wave in our stomach, and snot and tears came out.

"After talking about it for a long time, you two should understand, what our 17 group is doing, it is specially to clean up these beasts and ghosts. They are the same as those chemical weapons planted by little Japan in China, and they may cause secondary damage to our country at some point. Uncle Li looked at the fat man, and his grandmother smiled maliciously at the gray wolf on his face.

"I don't know what you say." The fat man was also obedient, covering the back of his head and stepping back, with a smug face that you have a good plan and I have a wall ladder.

"Of course not, right?" Uncle Li saw that the treacherous plan did not succeed, so he had to ask and answer himself, "So, you have to fight with them." An Uncle Li fell, thousands of juniors stood up, the revolution has not yet succeeded, and the eldest nephews still have to work hard. ”

Hey, hey, how else to talk nonsense, this Uncle Li is too poor, and he is a late-stage patient with tuberculosis.

"Bucket? You can be really funny, it's okay for our brothers to fight the landlord, fight with them, do we take a brick, or use a watermelon knife to cut it. Otherwise, we can simply use our party's advanced theories to persuade them to put down their butcher's knives and become Buddhas on the spot. "I smiled bitterly, your old man's upper lip touched his lower lip, and it was very light, but what are we going to fight with them.

You don't know, I sat down and got sick when I was a child, and a group of local, amateur ghosts were about to cripple me, and now you actually let me talk about that group of professional Japanese ghosts, you can figure it out, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it.

I looked at the fat man, and from his very injured innocent eyes, I understood the meaning of the fat man, and I couldn't help but feel hot in my heart: Good buddy, really the heart is the same, the brothers are of the same heart, and the benefits are gold, not to mention the old god Uncle Li?

So, the two of us said to Uncle Li in unison: "Don't do it, resolutely don't do it." ”

Uncle Li's old face was elongated at that time, and his chin was about to hit the ground: "No, I've said it for nothing for half a day, right, two rotten things that can't be on the wall and dog meat can't be on the table." Oh, I see, okay, what's the condition, let's talk about it. ”

This dead old ghost, sure enough, can read minds, although the fat man and I looked at each other, intentionally not revealing their true thoughts in their hearts, but they were still seen by Uncle Li, who had read countless women who had lost their footing.

Since the window paper has been pierced, we are no longer sandwiched, and immediately showed our hole cards: "You can't bear to watch us die, so you have to prepare some copper coin swords, black donkey hooves, invisibility clothing or something, by the way, there must be a talisman." ”

"Hey, hey, two white-eyed wolves, I know that you are holding back the bad son, the lion opens his mouth widely, right, take your uncle as a local tyrant," Uncle Li's small eyes showed the "intimacy" of the wolf seeing the sheep, "Boy, tell you, uncle is waiting for you to say this, come, first apprentice, and then pass on the magic weapon." ”

The fat man and I had the heart to die at that time, and we dared to love this dead old ghost waiting for us here, and after making trouble for a long time, we still fell into the road and drank his foot-washing water, sad.

If your skills are not as good as others, you have to admit it, so the fat man and I pushed the gold mountain, poured the jade pillar, and kowtowed to Uncle Li three times in a proper manner, and called the master.

This made the old prostitute happy, like a fart, and said in a loud voice: "Okay, good, I envy you, you can worship me as a teacher, ah, your ancestors are virtuous, study hard (Northeast dialect: learn to pronounce xiao's sound, two tones), he will be successful." By the way, apprentices, get up, get up, don't kneel, the ground is cold, pay attention to the diarrhea (diarrhea). ”

I grinned with the fat man: "Come on, it's good, it's not up." ”

"Why? Oh, you see, what, I was in a hurry when the teacher came, and I didn't bring any money, and besides, there was no place to spend that money for you. "Uncle Li's old face was very embarrassed, and he thought that the two of us wanted red envelopes.

I was so angry, how did I meet such a master who was not interested in the spoon: "What are you talking about, oh, after worshipping the master, I know that I feel sorry for us, what did I do just now, we have been kneeling for a long time, our legs are numb, and we can't stand up if we want to." ”

"Huh? Blame the teacher for the teacher, so what, then you two will squat on the ground for a while, and then, for the teacher to pass on the unique secret book of your two faction, the Sunflower Treasure Book. ”

"What?" The fat man reflexively covered his crotch, "Master, you're drinking fake wine again, aren't you?" ”

We couldn't help laughing, I said in my heart that Uncle Li drank flower wine every day and visited the shampoo room every day, and he wouldn't practice the unborn sunflower book if he was killed, otherwise, wouldn't this really become a eunuch visiting the Qinglou?? It's too much fun.

Eh, is it possible, what is the blood relationship between Uncle Li and the dead ghost old eunuch of the Jianxing Hotel, or the same door? I took a closer look at Uncle Li's beaming grimace, but fortunately there was still stubble.

Looks like I'm overthinking. Uncle Li is definitely a gentleman. Oops, as soon as I covered the back of my head, I saw that Uncle Li didn't know when he floated behind me again, and he gave me a neck: "Don't squeeze the master in your heart, this is called disrespectful, understand?" ”

"Understood, next time I don't want to, I'll post on the Internet to praise you, saying that you like to donate money to widows, treat menstrual cramps for young women, and help others, it's always okay." I was so helpless that I couldn't wait to become demented immediately, and I didn't want anything in my head.

"And you, where are you putting your hands, pretending to King Tota Li." Uncle Li was in a good mood, turned around and began to stimulate the fat man who was still covering his stalls and stealing fun.

"Okay, okay, Uncle accepted you two as apprentices, Uncle is happy." Uncle Li was suddenly very emotional, and white smoke faintly appeared on his face, "Don't be afraid, Uncle is happy, the ghost has no tears, happy or sad, but the color of the smoke on his face is different." Seeing that our expressions were a little unnatural, Uncle Li hurriedly explained.

After listening to Uncle Li's explanation, the fat man and I breathed a sigh of relief, it seems that it will take a while for us to re-adapt to our ghost master.

To say that although this Uncle Li has become a ghost, his temperament has not changed at all, and he still has the temperament of a god, but now I dare not underestimate him, because just Uncle Li's battle against the ghosts in the underground military fortifications of the Jianxing Hotel, as well as the hands that ambushed the old female ghost just now, have already shown the shocking magic of this old god.

It's a pity that people and ghosts have different paths, and the fat man and I have no chance to learn art from Uncle Li, so how does his old man plan to teach us skills? Could it be that, like Zhou Xingxing's classmates, he learned to descend the dragon in a daze?

"Hey, speaking of which, I should have taught you personally, but Uncle is also involuntary now, and he can't accompany you all day, so he can only rely on your own understanding. Come, remove the chest near the southeast corner, and remove the brick near the floor. "Obviously, Uncle Li also realized this problem, so he urged us to find the treasure.

According to Uncle Li's instructions, the fat man and I moved the messy cabinet with compasses, brushes, yellow mounting paper and other items near the southeast corner, pulled out the brick, and found two books wrapped in plastic bags inside.

Seeing those two books, Uncle Li showed a look of emotion, and urged us one after another: "Open it, open it quickly." ”

I tore open the plastic bag and saw two books bound with rough yellow straw paper, with four seal characters written on them with a brush, I looked at it with the fat man for a while, and guessed that the first word was yin and the four characters were scriptures, and it all depended on the four seal characters on the prop "Nine Yin True Scripture" that she held in her hand when she watched "The Legend of the Condor Heroes" when she was a child.