NBC host Brian Williams had a bad look: "Let's replay the explosion. ”

Picture replay, slow motion, many different angles, the more you look at it, the more it looks.

No one spoke in the live broadcast room, and it was as silent as death......

Embarrassing, embarrassing!

Or the host is more bullish, and immediately thinks of more important things: "On-site reporters, please report the casualties immediately!" ”

At this moment, the most hopeful death of the Americans in the world is probably the Americans themselves.

A few deaths, a few more deaths, so that terrorists are terrorists, and the attention of the people of the whole world can be diverted from flying in the sky.

People mourn the memory of the dead, and who cares about what happened in it.

People will only condemn the cruelty of the terrorists, not the ridiculousness of the process.

So, please kill a few more people!

Many, many Americans and other people who love America silently pray in their hearts!

It was as if the whole world had heard this black irony.

The reporter at the scene was a beautiful woman, panting and replied: "We have come to 44th Street, which is the focus of the explosion. This, I don't know what to say. You can clearly see on the screen that there are splashes of XX everywhere, and the smell is very bad, ah, look there, several people are vomiting! I guess they're certainly not pregnant. ”

The host urged: "Casualties, tell us about the casualties!" ”

The beautiful reporter at the scene retched twice, and he was asked by the director to report that there were casualties, but there were really none, so he had to make up nonsense: "Ah, ah, how to determine the casualties?" See! Someone over there was sprayed with 'Xiang', what is he? Is it a minor injury or a serious injury? ”

The host loses his demeanor: "Damn it! Can he still walk? ”

"Yes, he can still walk, and despite his appearance, he looks normal."

The person who was sprayed saw the NBC camera, ran over excitedly, jumped and screamed, waved at the camera, bared his teeth, and even hugged the beautiful reporter!

The beautiful reporter dodged in a panic: "No, no, you can't do this, maybe you have internal injuries, please go to the hospital for examination quickly." ”

Embarrassing, so embarrassing!

The comic scene was quickly cut away.

NBC host Brian Williams took a deep breath and said, "Let's take a look at the aerial footage from the scene. ”

"The scene does not look very damaging, but the area covered by explosive fragments is huge."

The moderator was still reluctant to change his words.

"The exact casualties will take time to wait for the statistics. It stands to reason that an explosion of this magnitude could not have been without casualties. I don't know if President Ma will cancel his speech. ”

The moderator pressed the headset: "Wait, we reached out to Mr. Jesero Gibbs, the FBI's field director, to see what he had to say." ”

"Mr. Gibbs, have you confirmed the explosives fragments?"

"Yes, as you can see, as Japanese and British television say, explosive fragments are human and canine excrement."

The host was disappointed: "Ah! This is really sad news! No, no, I didn't mean that, I mean how did the kidnappers do it? It's incredible! ”

"According to the urgent investigation of the bomb disposal team, the suspect dammed the sewer and intercepted excrement from several nearby blocks, and the bomb was installed to cause the current effect."

"Do you build a dam, like a beaver?"

"No, the suspect was using quick-drying cement, a pre-formed composite frame with padding. So it's fast and efficient. ”

"So the kidnappers are very professional!"

"Yes, not only professional, but also very hard!"

"Unbelievable, could it be that the kidnappers planted a bomb with a pile of excrement?"

"No, I think the suspect planted the bomb in advance, detonated it remotely, or detonated it on his mobile phone."

"Ah, that's courageous too."

"Yes, it's not good news for the people of New York."

The host wondered: "Why is the explosion so intense, too many, ah, that explosion fragment rushed up." Even hitting our news helicopters, the photographers were contaminated. Now the pilot strongly protested, refusing to fly without the photographer having washed it. We all know that the sewers in New York are very far from the ground, and the power of the explosion is a bit incredible! ”

"First of all, the suspect did not use ordinary bombing. The propellant is a propellant, which is determined by the characteristics of the propellant and is more suitable for this type of explosion than ordinary high-speed explosives. Through calculations, the suspect skillfully used a little directional explosion, and the pipe of the sewer well is equivalent to the barrel of a gun, and the excrement is equivalent to a bullet, so the excrement can fly higher and wider. ”

The host shook his head again and again: "Directional explosion, mathematical modeling, oh my God, it's too profound, it's too learning!" The kidnapper's educational background should be carefully checked. It's not good to have such an ability to do anything, write a book, transform, build an ion channel laboratory, it's all good, but I like to blow up "Xiang", it's a pity! The kidnappers are Japanese, right? America will not bury this kind of talent! ”

"I don't agree to call SHIT maniacs talents!"

The host found that he had lost his words, and hurriedly remedied: "Yes, yes, the kidnapper is not a talent, he must have a tragic childhood, lack of love!" Maybe I was molested by a Japanese uncle! ”

The host lost his words again, quickly changed the topic, and asked what people were more concerned about: "Why didn't the FBI detect the bomb in advance, the kidnappers had already predicted the explosion on Facebook, and even held a vote." Is this a dereliction of duty on the part of the FBI? ”

"No, not a dereliction of duty. Both the FBI and the NYPD have done their part, and they have worked hard. We mobilized all the men we could to find the bomb, but the suspect misled us from the start, saying that the bomb was in a nearby building, giving us the illusion. So we mainly searched a few nearby buildings. In fact, a moment before the explosion, we were ready to expand the search to the sewers, but the time was too short and there were not enough people. ”

"Please pay attention to the American people, it's not that we FBI are incompetent, it's that the suspect is too smart!"

In the face of such a shameless FBI, the host didn't know how to complain, and it was inconvenient to arouse public anger, so he had to continue to ask: "What about the casualties?" How many innocent people were injured or killed? ”

"There are no casualties in the preliminary statistics, and follow-up statistics are ongoing."

The host was seriously unconvinced: "How is it possible, such a big explosion, and the scope is so wide, how can there be no casualties!" ”

"First of all, the explosion occurred in the middle of the night. There were very few people on the streets, and most of the people in the neighborhood ran to the kidnapping site to watch. ”

"Secondly, the suspect released fireworks before the explosion, attracting the few remaining people in the neighborhood, so there was almost no one on the street."

"Again, there was no explosion in the building near the suspect, the explosion occurred mainly on Inner Broadway, around 44th Street, so the crowd of onlookers was not injured."

"In the end, as long as no one happens to be standing on the manhole cover, the lethality of the excrement is very weak. And the excrement was straight into the sky, and it rained all around, and even the people standing nearby were only drenched in excrement. So, until now, there have been no casualties, not even minor injuries. ”

PS: Damn, I dreamed of Xiang yesterday.