I was choked by the neck and punched the old man Tie Qing in the face.

The old man didn't move, and he didn't react at all.

After a few punches and kicks, the old man still didn't react.

After a while, I felt like my neck was going to be choked off by him.

At this moment, Tang Baobao ran from a distance with a rolling pin, shouting from afar: "Kick his second child, that's the cover door." ”

Kick dick?

Can you kick around in that place?

This is your grandfather, if the kick is broken, what should I do if I settle accounts after the autumn?

I only hesitated slightly, took out the strength to feed, and kicked it.

"Boy, you...... Balls! ”

With one foot down, something magical happened.

The old man's face turned flushed in the blink of an eye.

The old man let go of my neck, clutched my crotch, jumped twice on the spot with a painful expression, and fell to the ground.

Tang Baobao rushed to the front, because he was in a hurry, he didn't stop the car for a while, and stepped on her grandfather's stomach before stopping.

"There's gas, no braids."

She squatted down to check her grandfather's snort and pulse, and pinched her grandfather's crotch again, "It's okay, it's okay, the egg wasn't kicked, otherwise my grandma would have to climb up from below and find you to pay for the egg!" ”

Tiger!

This girl is a real tiger!

I rubbed my throat speechlessly.

When the relaxation was almost over, she listened to her instructions and carried her grandfather back.

Using the coffin grass he found to dispense medicine, Old Man Donald drank medicinal soup during the day and slept with the residue in his mouth at night.

He never ran out in the middle of the night to catch crows and eat them raw.

After half a month of treatment, the medicine stopped, and Old Man Tang was no longer evil and recovered.

But during this period of his treatment, I was miserable.

The dead old man is idle, and he insists on teaching me to fight.

He beat me, and he didn't allow me to fight back, but I was allowed to hide.

In the name of it, it was to train my dodging ability, but in fact, it was to avenge that kick.

I didn't want to be beaten, and I wanted to be tough, but I wore his clothes, lived in his house, and ate his rice.

I can't get up!

After Old Man Tang recovered, the Song family learned that Old Man Tang was better, and came to the door again and again, asking him to think of a way to deal with Miss Song's illness.

Old man Tang was forced to be anxious, and even avoided perfunctory, and directly said that he didn't have this ability.

Annoying? He had a life.

Anyway, if you kill him, you won't be involved in Miss Song's illness anymore.

I'm not afraid of death, what is the old man afraid of?

The old man's words completely blocked the Song family's mouth.

said that he wanted to know what he was afraid of, and when the second girl was evil, he would go and give her a bite.

Tang Baobao and I were also very curious, and asked the old man what he knew.

The old man rarely said seriously, curiosity kills cats, and there are some things we can't afford to provoke.

Warn the two of us not to intervene in Miss Song's illness, if he gets into trouble, he wants to take care of us, and he has to have that ability!

My cheap sister-in-law is called Song Xiaoying.

She just goes evil at night, and when it's good, she's a rich third generation who is very playful.

Because of her illness, she stayed in the town and played mahjong in the activity room when she had nothing to do.

The evil thing is that she plays cards as if she is open, and she wins money every time.

No one in the town dared to fight her.

But there are always people who are not afraid of death, and they run over to send people to their heads if they have nothing to do.

Tang Baobao and Feng Xiaoxiao are frequent customers.

They started out playing for money, and then they started gambling on other things.

If you walk on the streets of the town and see a beautiful woman standing by the window on the second floor, as if she is doing a trick, she pulls out her underwear and throws it down the street, with a voice: "The original flavor is not sweetened, and it is still hot, hurry up and pick it up and taste it." ”

It's not that the girl is crazy, it's that she loses playing cards.

At noon that day, after lunch, Tang Baobao called me to go to play cards with her.

She went to play cards in front of her, and I curiously asked her to take me to see the world, but she refused to say anything.

said that a group of women closed the door to play cards, and I was a big old man on the side, and some of their private words were not easy to say, let alone play some out-of-the-ordinary work.

This time I took the initiative to call me, and there was obviously a pitfall.

I'm not going to be fooled!

Tang Baobao saw that I refused to go, and he did not threaten me unusually.

said with a smile: "Song Xiaoying said that she dreamed of her sister two days ago, and her sister cried in her dream, saying that her brother-in-law was not living well and wanted to find a strong man to satisfy her hunger." Today we made an appointment, one person brings a man to the past, and after a card is played, whoever fires the most guns, and whoever brings the man will have to go to her sister's grave to sleep for one night. ”

"This stinky bitch, she's crazy, isn't she? Actually making fun of this kind of thing, seeing that I don't cut her to death. ”

"Stop! Song Xiaoying made fun of her sister, what does it matter to you? You go and say you're her brother-in-law? Said you rose from the dead and crawled out of her sister's grave? If you're not afraid of getting the word out and being caught and sliced, then you go! ”

Hearing this, I slowly calmed down.

I didn't take it seriously.

But she said that her brother-in-law was not doing well, and that her sister wanted to find a strong man.

I can't help it!

If you don't steam steamed buns and fight for breath, you must teach the mother-in-law a lesson.

"Sister Bao'er, we have to find a way to win her. Lao Tzu asked her to go to her sister's grave at night to sing all night, only her brother-in-law is good in the world. ”

"How to win? After beating her into evil, she was lucky against the sky. You haven't tried it when I have? I asked the immortal official to bless me, and I didn't kill her! ”

"I listened to the braggadocio of the old immortal, saying that our family has worshiped six generations of unintentional mothers, which is from the south to the north, sweeping the heavens, earth and people from all walks of life. is fighting for luck, we can't compare to Song Xiaoying, can we be a little crooked? ”

There is a small wooden hut on the table of the hall and four tablets are placed in the hut.

Three of them are written with the Eight Immortals of Shangdong, the Five Elders of the Five Directions, and the Ten Kings of the Earth Realm.

There was also a tablet that was empty and nothing was written.

I walked to the offering table, stared at the deepest wordless tablet, pretended to be honest, and smirked.

"You have come back from the dead, and it is suitable to dispatch Yin soldiers, and grandpa has asked you to concentrate on worshipping the ten kings of the earth. When the fire comes, a stick of incense, pardon the spirits of the ten directions, and return to your body, when the world is so big, you can go to get it, how can you still be half-hearted? ”

Tang Baobao slapped me on the back of the head, and I didn't even laugh at it.

Her words are like what my elementary school teacher said, Qingyun, you must study mathematics hard, and when you grow up to be a scientist, you will rub the atomic bomb.

What kind of incense through the underworld, pardoning the spirits of the ten directions, and attaching them to their own bodies, the world can go to it?

This is even more mysterious than growing up to be a scientist and rubbing the atomic bomb!

"Sister Bao'er, I have been worshipping the ten kings of the earth for many days with a stick of incense in the morning and evening, maybe the ten kings are busy with official business, and they don't have the time to take care of me, so they refuse to accept me as a beginner. Why don't you tell me the steps, tricks, and spells to worship the heartless mother, and I will try to worship the heartless mother? ”

"No, the heartless Niangniang is the embodiment of the negative emotions of Guanyin Bodhisattva, ruling all the evils in the world. In case you invite an evil thing, you can't suppress it, it doesn't matter if you die, leave a mess, who will clean it up for you? ”

"Didn't you say that I died a miserable death before, and my body was so bad that even the ghosts were afraid of me? Dispatching troops and attaching themselves to oneself is not something that can invite a big man as soon as you invite it. Even if the unintentional mother is willing to accept me, the things I just invited at the beginning are probably not as evil as my own! ”

"Yes!"

Tang Baobao lowered his head and pondered for a long time, and looked nervously left and right a few times.

Pulled me aside and said nervously: "If you enter the door of the heartless mother, the old immortal asks, don't say that I taught you the steps, tricks, and spells." ”

"Then I said who taught it?"

"You said that a fat grandmother with a mole in the corner of her eye taught you in a dream, and the fat grandmother also said that if the old immortal troubles you because of this, she will come up and pull the old immortal down as a companion."

"Who is the fat grandmother, so powerful, even the old immortal is afraid of her?"

"Who else could it be? My grandma, hehe! ”

"Sister Bao'er, looking at your appearance, did you secretly worship Wuxin Niangniang, but Niangniang ignored you and confiscated your entry?"

"Hmph, dare to squeeze your Sister Bao'er, believe it or not, Sister threw you into the mountains to feed the giant pandas?"

Tang Baobao did not hesitate, and happily told me the gangbu, tricks, and spells to worship Wuxin Niangniang.

Before, the old immortal taught me to worship the ten kings of the earth realm, and I also practiced it.

Tang Baobao demonstrated it twice, and I wrote it down.

I showed her a demonstration, she corrected some mistakes, I was in good spirits, I went to the offering table, and began to make up.

Step on the step, pinch the fingers in your hand, recite the mantra in your mouth, light a stick of incense and insert it into the incense burner.

However, something strange happened.

As soon as the incense burned, I involuntarily pinched my orchid fingers, swung my waist, and smiled coquettishly.

Inexplicably, a sentence came: "Marry in white, die immeasurably, forget the Meng Po family." ”

After that, I realized what I had done and what I had said.

Thinking back to that strange behavior, I couldn't help but beat several spirits in a row.

I wasn't scared, I was disgusted by that action!

However, it is obvious that I continued to worship this incense, and it was easily received by Meng Po.

However, what about the unintentional mother who said that she would rule over all the evils in the world?

This time, I was anxious, and excitedly grabbed Tang Baobao's collar.

She scratched the back of her head and said embarrassedly: "Qingyunnu, don't get excited, I accidentally made a mistake and mistakenly taught you the steps, techniques, and spells to worship Meng Po." ”

"Wrong? Did you accidentally get it wrong? ”

"Even if you are mistaken, our family does not worship Meng Po, why was I accepted by Meng Po?"

"Yes, the marriage of the dead is under the control of Meng Po, and Meng Po's old man's magic card is buried in the backyard, and only when the dead are married to the dead, will they be invited."

"Oh my day, what if, I just said if, what if I betray the wall?"

"The country nursery rhyme is sung like this, there is a Meng Po Village in Yinsi, and the stunning woman sells tea soup. People come to eat soup and water, and the past is forgotten. If you break down the door, according to my estimate, when you fall asleep, you will dream of drinking soup, and when you wake up, you will become an idiot! ”

"I'm going, become an idiot?"

"Master Zu is above, and disciple Li Qingyun wishes Master Zu eternal blessings and longevity. On the fifteenth day of the Lunar New Year, the disciples must prepare a stick of incense in the morning and evening, so that you will be white and beautiful, and you will have thousands of manners. When the disciple is developed and rich in the future, he will definitely buy you a lot of handsome men to burn over, tall, short, fat, thin, you can sleep if you want, if you are not happy to sleep, put it to the eyes. ”

I hurriedly loosened Tang Baobao's collar, knelt on the ground with a pop, and kowtowed my head in all directions.

He patted his thigh and stood up. "I'm so filial, my grandfather must be reluctant to turn me into an idiot."

"You're not filial, you're cheap!"

"Oh, by the way, Sister Bao'er, I became a member of Meng Pomen, so what can I invite if I send troops and attach myself to myself? Didn't I hear that there were soldiers under my grandfather's seat? ”

"I don't know! As far as I know, there are no disciples of Meng Po in the world, and you are the first one. It is estimated that you will be resurrected from the dead, and Meng Po will accept you as a beginner. In other words, you have no experience to learn from your predecessors, and the road of Meng Pomen has to rely on your own groping forward. ”

"Hmm."

The matter is a foregone conclusion, and I don't bother to think about it, so I said unhappily: "Sister Bao'er, then we really have no other way to compare Song Xiaoying's luck?" ”

"No, but don't worry, I won't let her have a good time."