……

"2017, February 6, haze. When I came back from Hainan, I recognized my biological father, and she called me brother, and at that moment, let me know that my life is not the darkest, only darker. It's been a long time since I've written a diary, and I don't know where to start, so let's start with I'm sorry. Tingting, that night in Hainan, we agreed, you go back to get married, I met a new girl, we both started a new life, and when we met again, we would be brothers and sisters to each other. But I'm sorry I lied to you again, and I promised you because I wanted you to stay in heaven. I have been in the dark hell for many years, I can't go back to the world, if I give up loving you, it is better for me to die. You will never know that the day I met you in 1996, I was destined to live my life alone without you. If there really was someone who could replace you, I would have given up on you when I knew you were my biological sister. Maybe I'm really too stubborn, but I can't help it, the moment I knew I liked you, I had already locked my heart, I drew myself as a prison, and then I lost the key with all my strength, my heart couldn't be opened, no one would come in again, and you couldn't get out. ”

"On February 10, 2017, Song Menghua selected a lot of marriage partners for me, and beckoned Song Qingchun to come over to help me find a girl, I could see that she was a little sad, but she was still very serious about helping me find a girl. When I came home from Song's house, it was already eleven o'clock, after taking a bath, lying on the bed, I couldn't sleep, I thought about the story of me and her from beginning to end, and I still didn't feel sleepy, this is the fourth time I couldn't sleep all night after I came back from Hainan, I knew that she had to marry Qin Yinan, and I also knew that no matter how much pain I had, I had to let her look at me and I wouldn't be in pain, but I knew that I might not be able to support it, I wasn't so strong, so strong that I looked at the love of my life, Marrying another man is still calm, so strong that she is calm and natural at her wedding, raising a glass to her and saying a hundred years of good together. ”

"In 2017, on February 14, her marriage was set, March 14, White Day, during the day today, I had a headache for nearly three hours, I stood in front of the floor-to-ceiling window, watching the sunset, and suddenly walked up to the front, fortunately the floor-to-ceiling window blocked me, at that moment, I realized that I might be sick, because I had the intention of suicide without knowing it. I know like this, I should see a doctor, but I didn't go to the doctor, but bought some tranquilizers myself, the reason why I don't want to see a psychiatrist is very simple, I like my own sister, I am spurned, looked down upon, disgusted, disgusted, it doesn't matter, after all, when I was very young, I have experienced all of this, but I don't want people to know, my sister is her, I don't want her to be spurned and disgusted because of me, she is the most beautiful in my life, and I desperately want to protect the best. ”

"On February 16, 2017, Miss has another name, called Self-stabbing Thousand Knives, I miss her very much, I stab myself with a Thousand Stabs every day."