The whole body falls uncontrollably, from the stars to the bottom of the sea, from the clouds to the glaciers, as long as you can feel the insignificance of life.

If you can, you can cycle infinitely from the void, and let the years feel the infinite length of space.

When I have been looking forward to something for a long time, I think it will no longer be a matter of waiting, but of forgetting.

For a while, I always believed that waiting for a person to grow old was a particularly romantic thing. And now, as day and night alternate, the number of things experienced gradually increases, and I begin to suspect that this is just a story.

After all, living in a city where the lights of vehicles are flashing and passers-by are passing by, no one will want to stay where you are and wait.

For a short period of youth, I don't know how to experience it before I have an account for my future self, and there is no way to pause time and fall asleep in order to see all this more clearly. So I can only be pushed forward by time, and the desire to turn back is completely shattered.

Even if you can't enjoy the scenery on the road for the time being, you must at least push yourself, step over the giant's head, and spend the rest of your life reminiscing about what you missed. At least there was capital at that time, and not to sit in a corner of the city where there is no exit, to blame yourself now.

There was once a dream that was particularly impressive, and many times when I took the elevator, it would appear under the subconscious expulsion. Even after waking up from a dream, even the senses are so real and reminiscent, telling me that this is what you have experienced.

In the dream, it was pitch black all around, only scattered white neon lights flickering, in fact, it was more like an abandoned ruin, standing in the scattered dust of the universe with hatred, isolated and arrogant. Looking up, there is no end in sight, and the silence seems to have deviated from this world.

Everything was so real, so real that I didn't know it was a dream. The next second I saw a red light floating in the air, getting closer and closer, and finally visible to the naked eye. Exactly like myself, a three-dimensional human figure stands above me. His eyes were dead, and his eyes seemed to be going to penetrate my whole body in the next second, and then replace me.

I wanted to run forward, but every pore in my body was frozen with his presence, and I couldn't move with all my strength. My breathing began to become rapid, as if someone was grabbing my throat and playing with me a little, preventing me from leaving this world instantly, and my eyes gradually drifted away, and finally I lost consciousness and passed out on the ground.

Later, when I woke up, everything I saw through my eyes was all blood red, and then the elevator sound in the distance suddenly sounded, the elevator door opened, and the body walked uncontrollably to the elevator door at this moment, I struggled backwards, but I looked pale and weak, and could only enter the elevator vigilantly.

The elevator doors closed instantly, and began to fall downward, falling, gravity had long since ceased to exist, and I only had the feeling of weightlessness falling.

When I woke up from the dream, I had already forgotten it. It was when I took the elevator once, I lived on the 18th floor, and when the elevator showed that it had risen to the 15th floor, it stopped instantly, and there was no trend of rising and falling, and there were two women in this narrow space.

A girl of about my age, the other is a woman over thirty years old, the girl screamed in fright, squatted on the ground with her head in her hands, the woman just picked up the alarm phone next to her, the elevator fell about a meter or more at this moment and stopped, opened the closed door, the girl instantly rushed out into the corridor and ran up, the woman followed closely.

During this process, I stood like a puppet, without any movement, and when I stepped out of the elevator, I turned my head to see the two bright red numbers 14 standing there on the right, as if I had spent a century alone.

When I got home, I called the video and told it to my friend like a joke, and my friend asked me worriedly, "Are you okay?" ”

I said angrily, "Listen to my voice, like someone in trouble!" ”

Hanging up the video, I sat in isolation in the living room without the lights on, and my mind flashed through the important images of these years.

I unconsciously thought of the future, I sat in the ward with old and gray hair, and all the organs of my body had already died, leaving only the important organs in the brain nucleus to support me who was unwilling to leave this world. Maybe sometimes what we are afraid of is not to leave instantly, but to sit next to our most important person, and you don't know if you will wake up if you close your eyes again.

We have always felt that life is very long, and even when we see old age and death from books and TV, we will think that we are completely different worlds from ourselves, and we have nothing to do with it.

Maybe by chance, I remembered that the old man next to me would leave suddenly, but it was just a moment of contemplation. What to do after that, how to live it, everything goes on.

After a while, it may correspond to a life of change, so please forgive me for sometimes not daring to go too fast.

We're all going to die, even if we don't think about it now.

The wandering will eventually settle. It's just that in retrospect, the smile won't be too astringent, that's enough.

When you come back to life, you feel like growing up is really scary. Gradually distinguish a group of children at the same starting point, there is no fairness or unfairness, as long as you work hard and don't work hard. Anyone can daydream, but how long can you do it in bed? Someone will always give you the opportunity, but will you have the ability to catch it then?

Life is never accommodating to anyone, and when you walk on the street, do you occasionally have an abstract thought? For example, all the crowd is spinning, for example, they will stare at a certain object all the time. For example, you will suddenly lose yourself.

I still remember my elementary school classmates talking to me after getting drunk the day before they got married: "This society is quite unfair, you see some people never need to work hard to drive a Mercedes Ferrari casually, and I get up early every day to go to work, and in the end there is nothing, why is this." ”

I couldn't answer the question at the time, the two of them sat on the balcony, holding a beer and drinking it in one sip, at least now it is happy.

Not to mention that we are still young, we just want to catch up with the time that has passed while we can still go crazy. is more or less obsessed, but who wants to be easily caught up by the vicissitudes of life.

I'm a subconscious seeker crazy person who gets drunk and falls off a 30-meter-high bridge to face the biting waters of a lake to find my true self.

My friend was shouting my name anxiously on the bridge, and I was floating on the surface of the lake. The corners of the eyes were wet with the afterimage of the lights of thousands of homes, the black pupils were filled with clouds dyed by the stars, and the tears that did not have time to flow from the corners of the eyes spread in the gaps of the forehead bangs with the slight wind direction.

The sounds of the city encroaching on all sides form a most pleasing song at this moment.

When the main song is remembered, the corners of the mouth rise; The chorus comes mercilessly with the memories of the past, and tears welled up in the eyes; The transition is not like a transition, but more like a word that wants to roar loudly at the moment, and make up for it with life.

It's like three minutes have passed, and it's like reliving the joys, sorrows, and sorrows of the past three years.

Drifting endlessly, with a cracked face. The end of the space that cannot be found has become lonely, and the sorrow of not being able to get rid of the rift has forgotten to choose.

I'm a person who craves total self-indulgence, and I never believe that TV says that you choose a city because of a person until the person you feel is dispensable leaves the city. Every day, the pungent whiskey is poured into the mouth, the tempting hookah is inhaled deep into the lungs, and the body instinctively stimulates the brain cells to a paralyzed state, and the next second it seems that it is about to faint, but the persistence in the heart is still holding on.

Ask yourself, what am I doing? Is this me? If two? After five minutes, I continued to drink with my friends until I didn't get drunk.

In this way, once, twice, countless times to toss myself, even if the stomach has to be uncomfortable all day after dawn, and the night has to be spent like this.

Sometimes I know everything, and I can analyze it so thoroughly that I can analyze it more thoroughly than the subconscious saying that one plus one equals two, but I still have to pounce on it. Like a moth to a fire, you can't say stupid, because your mind is so sober.

I'm a person who only thinks about a simple life, for someone who hasn't been together for two years of love, and then finally agreed to be with me. I gave up everything I had struggled for two years, and I thought that I would have a simple life in the future, but everything that happened for half a year in a row made me close to collapse.

I wrote a novel for more than a year, and in one of her vexatious troubles, I threw the quilt that had just been filled with hot water into my notebook without controlling my emotions, and the hard drive was burned out, and everything was gone in an instant.

I said that I would go to her house on the weekend, and I arrived at her door at 7 o'clock in the evening, and she stopped a second before she was about to enter the door, and I asked what was wrong, and she said that she suddenly felt unprepared, so I asked not to go in. I looked at the person in front of me with a complicated expression, turned away, and sat in the back of the building all night, 10 hours, probably the longest night I ever felt.

Inadvertently forget, inadvertently remember. All of these instantaneous occurrences are accidental, but it is inevitable that they will be in this cycle for a lifetime.

At the moment I seem to be complaining about something, but there is no right or wrong when it happens, everyone has their own thoughts, and you don't have the ability to make others think about everything for you.

Sometimes I am fascinated by listening to others tell me how beautiful I am with my lover, and when I think about myself, it seems that I have never met such a right person since I graduated.

Please talk about a sense of fairness in everything, not afraid that you will pay a little less, but afraid that you will pay too much, in exchange for the other party will no longer pay attention to you in the future.

We don't know when we will meet the person who will finish our lives, and we don't know if the other person who is still holding hands and talking about eternity at the moment will suddenly leave one day. I don't know how many secrets can be hidden in the past ten years, and too many unknowns make thinking undefined.

I still remember that three years ago, Xiaoyu called several of our friends out for a drink at night, saying that her man had run away with someone else and asked us to sit with him.

But when we arrived at the bar, we saw that there were already 3 empty wine bottles in front of Xiaoyu.

We sat down, Xiaoyu continued to drink drunk on the wine bottle, as if she had deliberately put on heavy makeup today, and two lines were eroded by the tears left behind, and the upper half of the red lips had been washed by the wine, leaving the lower half of the lips for others to admire.

Her gray tears seemed to be still nostalgic for the pure blue sky in her subconscious, lingering on her face for a long time and refusing to evaporate. All our comforts will appear indifferent at this moment. The reason is that if you don't release the pain all at once, you will only sow the seeds in the deepest depths of the inner depression. Your countless memories will make it take root, and then it will last a lifetime.

Despite this, I obviously felt that she had drunk too much, and as a good friend, I couldn't let her toss herself like this for any nonsense reason. The hand slightly grasped the wine that was still half in her hand, but it was grabbed tighter by Xiaoyu. I had no choice but to pull the bottle down and fall to the ground.

After the side of the bottle briefly touched the ground, it instantly shattered into hundreds of small debris and scattered around, and we didn't care that the small debris would affect the next door.

A bald man with a scar on his chest and a limp walked towards us, with a displeased face, clenched his fists and yelled at us: "What's the matter, the glass shards are jumping on my legs." ”

Without waiting for me to speak, Xiao Yu staggered to his feet, pointed to the nose of a big man who was taller than him in front of him, and roared louder than him: "Where did you jump out of the tease, does the glass slag have legs?" Why do you just jump on your legs, it's not that your leg hair is the same as dog hair. Before the old lady is mad, hurry up. ”

Cold sweat broke out on my forehead, thinking that even if you want to vent, it depends on the other party's virtue. Quickly pull this little ancestor to sit on the chair. stepped forward to apologize, laughed, and finally closed the order for people to eat at one table.

I thought it was over, but after a while the shirtless man came up to us again with a glass of wine. The meaning was obvious, to drink with us, we quickly stood up, and killed it without asking the reason.

After drinking, he didn't leave, his eyes looked at Xiaoyu and asked, "The little girl has fallen out of love?" "This time I spoke a lot softer.

Xiaoyu didn't mean to give him face: "Do your." ”

The fat man standing on Xiaoyu's right side hurriedly said in embarrassment: "Brother, I'm sorry, our friend really drank too much." ”

Now the shirtless man smiled: "I'm not going to be angry with you kids, don't mind if I sit down and chat for a while." ”

We all agreed, and after sitting down, I pinched Xiaoyu hard, hoping that she would stop stabbing Lou Zi. Unexpectedly, Xiaoyu picked it up directly and punched me in the left chest: "Chen Xuguang, you are sick, the old lady is out of love, and even you come to bully the old lady." ”

Xiaoyu is such a temperament by nature, she has no mouth to hide, and she doesn't want to do it when she is in a hurry.

We have all met his boyfriend a few times, with a kind face and a very gentle speech, at least much gentler than Xiaoyu. From the shyness of the first meeting to the later more than Xiaoyu. I don't know what Xiaoyu did to him, but I believe in the saying that marrying a chicken is a chicken and marrying a dog is a dog. It's just that they haven't married yet, it's just that her boyfriend has followed her.

Two people who love each other will have N situations happen every day together. Later, we saw them arguing, very fierce. Several times the upper three floors and the lower three floors came out in pajamas to scold angrily, and the louder they scolded, the louder the two of them argued. In the end, the property was brought in to help persuade them and give them a final warning. If you disturb other people's rest, don't say a word, pack up and get out of the house immediately.

When the two of them get angry again, one of them runs away from home, but they will eventually come back after leaving, after all, they still have each other in their hearts. There was no way to be the last fight, and during the day it was so exaggerated that both of them went to work with band-aids attached.

The beginning of their quarrel is always a fuse of tears falling from each other, wanting to comfort but wanting to speak and stopping as a spark. In a small space, the atmosphere does not freeze with the rapidly rising temperature, but deliberately compresses the air to surround the two of them so that they can play to their heart's content. The noise starts, and both sides lose? There are no winners! There is even a scar in a certain part of the body that will not be hidden by the years to come.

Of course, the two sometimes think about a problem very rationally and discuss this issue with each other, if we are still together after half a year, then no matter what happens in the middle, whether it is quarrels, fights, happiness or betrayal, but after these things happen, the result is still back together, so why not transition all the unhappiness into a happy day? In the end, it was concluded that neither of them would take a step back.

There are a lot of times when we talk about thinking a lot about each other, but at the end of the day, it's all about doing it without compromising our own ideas. I don't know that the other party has already seen through it, but I still pretend to be a bad guy in a one-man show.

It's been a stalemate for more than half a year, and I don't know how many scars have been left on the two of them for most of the year, and I don't know if they still exist in each other's hearts.

On the surface, I see that the two love each other very much, but secretly I see that they never show weakness to each other.

It finally broke out completely in a misunderstanding. Xiaoyu drank too much after the party in the company, and was helped to her home by her colleagues, so she didn't leave immediately and went to the kitchen to drink water. Just in time for Xiaoyu's boyfriend to come back, seeing the scene in front of him, he ran to the kitchen without saying a word, picked up a knife and ran away to Xiaoyu's colleague viciously.

This time the two didn't quarrel, and Xiaoyu couldn't afford to quarrel even when she slept half dead.

Xiaoyu's boyfriend was sitting on the sofa in the living room, and finally didn't wait for Xiaoyu to wake up, packed his luggage and stood at the door, staring blankly at the place where he had lived for more than half a year, and turned to leave.

After Xiaoyu woke up, he called him to turn off the phone, and then found the work unit, Xiaoyu's boyfriend did not choose to quarrel with her again this time, but found the leader to resign in front of her.

After walking out of the unit, he took a taxi and left, leaving Xiaoyu alone and staring blankly at the direction of the car.

Then it developed into three boys and a shirtless man sitting opposite her, a woman.

The shirtless man glanced at us and said with a smile: "I don't mean anything else, seeing that your current scene is very much like what I thought about when I was young, so I thought of coming over and talking to you." I should be a lot older than you, if you can afford it, I can call me Brother Jiang. It seems that he has drunk too much, and when he speaks, the bare head of the shirtless man who calls himself Brother Jiang can obviously feel that he is fluttering.

Neither of us spoke, sitting and waiting for his next words.

Brother Jiang drank the wine from the wine glass in his hand, pointed to the scar on his right lower abdomen, and said, "This is because I took a knife and pierced it little by little in order to save a woman I loved." It hurts to the senses, but the heart is already numb. ”

Xiao Yu lay on the table and fell asleep. My three big boys instantly looked at Brother Jiang in awe, and they were shocked, a real man, he dared to stab himself with a knife in his stupid hat. They raised their glasses in unison. After a glass of wine, the relationship was unnaturally closer.

Therefore, you can't do without wine on the battlefield, you can't do without wine in officialdom, and you can't do without wine in your emotions. The more you drink, the more you can let go, and the more you drink, the more you can hide the pain in your heart.

The wine glass was put down, and Brother Jiang continued: "We can't be like a gecko, even if we break our tail, we can recover ourselves in a short time. Our skin is injured and left with scars. Emotions feel wounded, and they heal over time. And if the heart is injured, it will become a knot that cannot be broken for a lifetime. ”

Never say angry things to the person you love the most, she will take it seriously. This is what Brother Jiang told us that night.

Brother Jiang is a typical rich second generation, a very motivated rich second generation.

When he was young, Brother Jiang's girlfriend was called Yaru, a very nice name, very similar to the character, gentle and elegant, intellectual and generous. The only bad thing is that you are suspicious.

was so suspicious that in the end, Brother Jiang took a knife and inserted it into his skin little by little, but Yaru still didn't believe it. I don't believe that Brother Jiang comes back so late every night to go to work and socialize. I don't believe that Brother Jiang's company has so many beautiful employees, he will not pay attention to it. I don't believe that Brother Jiang's parents are really good to her, but they are perfunctory on the surface.

If you go all the way to the palace of marriage with the person you have always loved at the beginning, will you know that something will be missing? Can't understand the love song? Tedious to tell the story? When you're drunk, you don't have the phone you want to call? This is what Brother Jiang asked us that night.

Although we can understand him on the surface, our understanding is limited to thinking about this matter, and we have never experienced it in reality.

After Yaru tightened Brother Jiang, who was bleeding from his abdomen, to the hospital, the whole person was stupid. It's stupid, everyone shook their heads in panic when they talked to her, and didn't say anything. finally knelt in front of the hospital bed, holding Brother Jiang's bloodless hand tightly because of excessive blood loss, no matter how others dragged him.

Yaru, who hadn't eaten or drunk for two days, had white lips and bloodshot eyes highlighted, said nothing.

Her parents came over to persuade her painfully, but there was only Brother Jiang who had not woken up in her eyes, and she didn't let go of anything.

In a quiet corner, there is never a shortage of regrets left by many people. According to the old man, they are all sheltered from the rain there, so no matter how much they have, they don't have to mind. The hospital is the place with the most regrets.

It wasn't until the third day that Brother Jiang woke up, and the moment Yaru opened his eyes, he quickly stood up and prepared to run out of the door. Her legs, which had been paralyzed and had no instincts, made her fall to the ground, but despite this, she crawled out of the door like crazy.

The haggard Brother Jiang shouted her name vigorously, and the voice that came out was directly drowned out by Yaru's cry.

I saw Yaru completely disappear into the ward. The whole process took less than half a minute, but it seemed like half a century had passed for Brother Jiang.

Yaru is missing, her parents are looking for her, relatives are helping to find her, the police are helping to find her, the whole world is helping to find her, but that's how she disappeared.

Brother Jiang waited every day for Yaru to appear in front of the hospital bed to see him, and he didn't wait until he was discharged from the hospital a month later.

The pain left by the scar has disappeared, but the heartache that follows is really a hundred times more uncomfortable for Brother Jiang than when he was stabbed with a knife at that time.

Is this the heartache sung in the love song like a knife? Brother Jiang asked himself. I don't feel as fierce as a knife.

Half a year later, there was news from Yaru, it was in Xinjiang, she was going to get married there, and she was going to stay in that place for the rest of her life.

The news was said by Yaru's parents, they felt that their family owed Brother Jiang, but it was out of their control until the incident happened, and it was enough for them to see Yaru live a good life. And Brother Jiang's heart that worries about him every day is finally completely relieved at this moment.

I don't think about which dress you'll wear to the evening, or what position he'll use to hug you in the middle of the night. Wait, so what am I doing now? I haven't woken up yet, I wish I hadn't woken up yet.

A man of 1.83 meters can never imagine how funny that picture is when he says such tender words after drinking. It's so funny that onlookers feel very sad when they see it. It was a real flesh-and-blood picture, not a deliberately presented to the audience in the TV plot.

The bruises left during the quarrel have long since disappeared under the cover of time. Imperfect so you have to go through it desperately, not serious so that the palm has a scar, and finally the appearance of love is getting clearer and clearer, but the selfish desire is becoming more and more greedy.

It was a time when it was simple in the third person, but it was an earth-shattering and crazy adventure in our world.

If this relationship is missed like this, maybe she won't be Xiaoyu.

The next day, I bought a plane ticket and went directly to my boyfriend's house, but this time it was like a different person, gentle and ruthless.

The man's parents are from the countryside, where have I seen such a beautiful girl, an aunt a minute, and a sweet word every two minutes. Midea has long been unable to find the north.

Children in the countryside may listen to their parents, and when they saw Xiaoyu coaxing their parents so happily, their hearts softened.

I don't know what happened to the two of them, but I really hope that after all they have been through, they can think for each other, if only a little.

We are all stupid, hurt so cruelly by love, but we still want to choose to fight for ourselves. There are too many things in it, so much that everyone can't express it clearly when it is divided into details, maybe it is because of the pain that the body is bruised and the hurt is so hurt that they lose themselves, so they will understand that this is love.

In fact.

Everyone can tell a story that makes the nose sour.

On that street that passed through a panic, in that playground that didn't want to run through the loop.

In the company of family when I was sad, I was in a night, and even my memories would be panicked.

A person tries to grow up and realizes that what the elders say is not just an illusion.

After being taken away from something, I realized that innocence and romance also need to be strong to escort.