Chapter 368: My Thoughts
But now, as long as I have a little contact with him, my emotions will explode irrepressibly, so I don't dare to touch Qin Han at all. While he approached me, I still retreated, never wanting to have direct contact with Qin Han again.
But maybe I didn't think it was enough, so for a moment, I screamed violently, "Qin Han, can you stand where you are, can you stop approaching me again, can you stop touching me again?"
I don't want to have any more contact with you, I just want to know why the hell you're doing this! Why have you deceived me all these years? ”
"If I told you that I have never deceived you all these years from the day I knew you until now, and I have never returned my guilt for you as sympathy, would you believe me?"
Listening to me ask him again and again, and even saying such hurtful words to him, Qin Han finally couldn't help but respond to me.
He stood where he was, as I said, and did not take a step forward. But at the same time he frowned, looked at me with sadness in his eyes, and spoke to me word by word, as if trying to make me believe what he said.
But, just like Qin Han said, will I believe him?
Truth be told, after so much betrayal, it's hard for me to believe anything he says now, maybe for my good.
So at this time, when I heard Qin Han say this to me, I was slightly stunned, but in an instant, I suddenly burst out laughing, and I shook my head desperately at him, trying to expel all emotions from my mind.
"Qin Han, Qin Han, I want to know how you are making me believe what you say now, I can't believe it anymore, everything you say is good for me!"
I smiled desperately at Qin Han, but tears couldn't stop running down my cheeks, and I could feel the warmth fleeting, followed by the biting coldness.
This is the same as in my heart, even what Qin Han said to me just now has very clearly denied that everything he did to me was out of guilt.
But in the face of the truth, I can't believe it at all, because the facts have already been laid out, and it trumps all justifications.
So even though I knew that Qin Han would definitely feel sad and sad when I said it, I still had to express my clear attitude.
"Actually, you knew a long time ago that the Chen family and the Qin family had already had a past, and there was also a relationship between your father and my father, but you never told me, and even told me that you would help me explore the truth."
"It's because of the conditions you gave me, so I chose you without hesitation, I thought you really wanted to help me, but for so many years of knowing you, you have been trying to hide the truth.
After all, you don't want me to know why my father died in prison, do you? ”
I knew that when I questioned Qin Han about all this, my emotions would definitely be very excited, but I didn't expect that not only would I yell at him, but even my body would tremble uncontrollably.
My legs seemed to have lost their proper role in an instant, and I only felt weak and weak, so I could only walk quickly to the sofa next to me and hold on to it to barely allow myself to sit directly on the ground.
But even so, the eyes I looked at Qin Han were still full of stubbornness and unwillingness, I must know the reason, no matter what!
Although I hadn't thought about how to talk to Qin Han about these things before, but now that he is back, then no matter what, I have to ask this matter clearly.
So when I shouted these words at Qin Han, my mind was even very clear, and there was no confusion or clarity.
And when Qin Han in front of me listened to me ask him these words, all he had on his face was shock and hurt, as if he didn't understand why I would ask him such words.
Or maybe he thinks I shouldn't have asked him at all.
However, since this has been spoken, it is difficult to take it away.
What's more, before saying this, I had already thought that I must ask Qin Han clearly, so no matter what he reacted to what I said.
For me, I'll still say what needs to be said.
Faced with my inquiry, Qin Han hesitated for a long time, but still didn't say a word. This made me feel even more sad, and I only felt that he was deliberately hiding all this, and even though the truth had now been revealed by me, he still did not intend to inform me of the final result.
So I couldn't help laughing, and when I looked at Qin Han's gaze, I only added a little more mockery, "Qin Han, why don't you speak again, you can't answer me, right?"
Because you deliberately concealed the reason for my father's death, you obviously knew that his death had a lot to do with the Qin family, but you never told me. ”
"From the day you met me, you understood that I was his daughter, and your Qin family did unforgivable things to my father, so you feel guilty and uneasy in your hearts, and you may be troubled by these things every night and can't sleep."
"It is precisely because of this that you turned your target to me, because you feel guilty about me, so your Qin family wants to use everything to compensate me for this reason, and then you will accompany me in everything."
"From the time you took me to Hong Kong to lose weight, and then you have been with me until I successfully lost weight, and promoted me in front of the public, established a good image, and even now I own this company, I know that all this is inseparable from you, and I am indeed very grateful to you."
"Slowly my gratitude to you turned into liking, and I have never liked you as much as I liked anyone. Even if you don't stay with me for a day, I will feel uneasy, and you will eventually be influenced by me. ”
"I've always felt that God let me meet you, it's a gift to me. It knows that I have lost a lot, so it has given you to me, so that it can make up for all that I have lost. ”
"But, Qin Han, I really didn't expect it, and I didn't expect it, it turns out that all this is just my own fantasy, you are not a gift from God to me at all, but you yourself want to compensate me."
I opened my mouth to Qin Han to tell my feelings in my heart over the years, originally I wanted to question him, but unconsciously, these words became my own muttering.
The tears kept running wild, and I tried to wipe them away by all means, but it would eventually reappear on my face, confused, helpless, and painful.
Whenever this happens, I can't help but wonder if Qin Han felt that these truths would hurt me when Qin Han prevented me from searching for the truth again, and he couldn't do without me, so he stopped me and didn't want me to explore.
However, those thoughts are just assumptions after all, after all, even if Qin Han wants to hide it, but now that I know the truth, I understand what the Chen family and the Qin family used to have, and what is the reason why he is so good to me, then it is difficult to change other things.
Seeing that Qin Han was silent all the time, this made me feel a nameless anger in my heart, so I stepped forward, grabbed the placket of Qin Han's chest tightly, and kept shaking it vigorously, trying to learn the truth I wanted to know from his mouth.
"You speak, Qin Han, can you tell me all the truth, I beg you, I want to hear you tell me these truths from your mouth."
"Only in this way can I completely die, only in this way can I harden my heart and stop liking you, obviously your Qin family has done something too much to our Chen family, so why do I continue to stay by your side, tell me quickly, I want to listen to you say it yourself!"
I spoke hoarsely at Qin Han, my voice was even a little hoarse, and the sadness and worry in his eyes became more and more serious as my voice became louder.
I think Qin Han was probably very worried about me at this time, he was afraid that I would do something reckless because I was too emotional, after all, my character is like this, if he hadn't been trying his best to stop me, I was afraid that I would have caused a lot of trouble.
Slowly, even if I persecute Qin Han again, but he still doesn't say anything, I can't do anything about him at all.
Tears kept pouring down, and my strength seemed to be drained, and my legs could no longer support my body, and I slid so hard that I almost fell to the ground.
At this time, Qin Han finally reacted, he quickly bent his knees slightly, and then held me up tightly with both hands to prevent me from falling to the ground, and his eyes were full of pity when he looked at me.
If I usually see Qin Han showing me such a look, I would only feel a warm heart, and even a smile would involuntarily appear on my face, but this time is different, when I see Qin Han facing me so gently, with such a loving look, my heart suddenly hurts.
Because I have always believed that Qin Han loves me before, I only feel that he is all about me, although I think I am the happiest person in the world, but now it is different.
I don't know if Qin Han's tenderness for me now is true or false, or if he just pretended to make me stop embarrassing him, I can't tell the difference, so I'd rather not believe it.
"Chen Ci, even if I ask you, don't torture yourself so much, no matter how many times you ask, the answer I give you is the same, I never wanted to make up for you because of these things, that's why I was so good to you."
Suddenly, Qin Han whispered to me again, and gave me an explanation of what I had been asking him. Judging by what he said, he didn't feel any guilt about me at all, and everything he did for me was just out of his heart.
But now, with the facts already in front of me, how can I pretend that nothing has happened? This is simply nonsense, Qin Han said these words probably just to lie to me.
I looked at Qin Han fixedly for a long time, but there was a determined look in his eyes, but it was not enough to convince me at all, since he could lie to me all these years, then why can't he lie to me for a while?
So after being silent for a long time, I just smiled at Qin Leng, I raised my head to look at him, and asked him with disdain in my eyes.