"Yayue, you're too ruthless, look at it, you knocked out Eleven Lang's intestines!"

"It's just a temporary dog intestine, it's just scary to look at, but it's actually edible." Lin Yayue booed, "The front of the car is also made of foam cartons, and it won't die if you hit someone." Well, then the tragic drama begins. ”

I listened to Faye Wong's discussion on the other end of the headphones, and I was dedicated to lying on the ground to play a dead man, this is the time to test my acting skills the most, and I must not show my flaws.

After Peliton crawled out of the ditch, he was stunned by my bloody appearance, and he refused to move, and he made me anxious for a long time, and I almost didn't shout: "You have something to say!" ”

It took a long time for Pelidon to come forward and stand beside me, looking down at me. A beggar squatting beside me touched my snort, shook his head helplessly, and said:

"No, there's no snort. The car came very quickly, and he only had time to push you out in order to save you......"

“…… He...... To save me? Peliton repeated this sentence stupidly, frozen in place, as if he had lost his soul.

"No, what we all saw was that he saved you......" The people around him nodded.

Passers-by around me began to lift me into the car, but Peliton just sat beside me in a daze, and finally she chose to get in the car and follow me straight to the hospital. It wasn't until Pellidon saw me into the emergency room that I was relieved and got up from the operating table.

The person who operated on me was Lin Yayue, who was pretending to be a surgeon, took off her mask and burst out laughing.

"Tired of acting, aren't you?"

"I realized that it turns out that acting as a dead talent is the most test of acting skills." I touched my head and said, "Look at my head, it's all right?" ”

"It's okay, it's just a big pit at the mouth of the bowl." Lin Yayue said with a smile.

"How's Peridon doing?" I asked. "What should I do after that?"

Lin Yayue took out a tablet, clicked on the monitoring and voice control system for me to watch, and said, "Just look at this." ”

In the surveillance footage, Pelidon is standing on the corridor outside the operating room waiting, his body stiff and at a loss.

"I didn't even sit down, I look very guilty." Lin Yayue said with a smile, "Let her wait a little longer, but not too long, about an hour and a half." ”

So for the next hour and a half, Pelidon waited outside the corridor, waiting for a message from me whether I was alive or dead. When the time was almost right, Lin Yayue asked me to lie down on the operating table, covered it with a white cloth, and then pushed out of the operating room.

As soon as I went out, Pelidon surrounded me, Lin Yayue, who was wearing a mask, shook her head and said helplessly:

"I'm sorry, we've tried our best, but we haven't been able to get him back...... It's something he held in his hand all the time when he was in the operating room. With that, Lin Yayue handed over a mobile phone to Pelidon.

Pelidon's face was sluggish and he took the phone, of course, there were photos on the phone screen, they were all photos of Pelidon, they were all taken secretly when I was shopping with her in the mall just now, and of course, Lin Yayue also helped me use the Meitu App to beautify some of the pictures inside, which looked more romantic.

A photo records the beautiful pictures I followed Pelidon's side for just a few hours, fishing for goldfish together, touching prizes together, shaking the capsule machine together, operating the crane machine together, raising my feet together and looking at the shit on the soles of my shoes and smiling...... Some of these images were taken secretly by me, and some were co-shot with Pelidon.

While playing the photo, the phone's recording software also started automatically, and my voice came out from inside:

"Sister Dong, you are so amazing! I adore you so much! ”

"Sister Dong, it's just you, you are the first person in my life to help me! It's the sun of my life! ”

"People will only bully me and call me stupid. You're the nicest, nicest person I've ever met. ”

"Sister Dong, I want to worship you as a teacher, follow you for the rest of my life, no matter what you ask me to do, I will listen to you, as long as you don't dislike me, okay??"

“……”

Of course, the voice in the recorder was recorded remotely by Lin Yayue when I was dating Pelidon, and then deliberately picked out some of the lines and chose to broadcast them at this time.

And it's still looping. Of course, the lines in it were arranged for me to say before, and when I got along with Peridon before, she might not think about it, and when she suspected that I was deliberately approaching her, she would even think those words were fake. But what happens when I'm dead?

No matter what I say, as long as I die and I save her with my actions, then all this will naturally become the truth.

I narrowed a slit and watched as Pelidon's long black hair hung down and covered her face, and I couldn't see her expression.

But I seem to hear sobbing.

When Lin Yayue pushed my "corpse" into the morgue, I suddenly felt a warmth on my wrist, although I didn't open my eyes, I felt the fine hair fall on my arm, and it was accompanied by a moist touch, which made my heart feel warm.

It wasn't until the door of the morgue was slammed shut that the warmth on my arm faded.

I got up, Lin Yayue took off her mask, straightened me, and said:

"That's it. You don't know the look on Pelidon's face when he looked at you just now, his face was full of guilt. It seems that she understands your feelings for her. Next, it's time for the main event. ”

I touched my head and said:

"What's next?"

"Hehe, don't worry, I've already arranged people." Lin Yayue blinked, revealing a mysterious smile. I didn't understand Lin Yayue's plan for a while, but it didn't take long for me to know.

Lin Yayue asked me to continue lying in the morgue and gave me a tablet for me to look at, I watched Lin Yayue turn around and leave the morgue to meet with Pelidon, in the picture, I saw Lin Yayue patting Pelidon's back, as if comforting something.

Then, Lin Yayue's voice came from the earphones:

"Don't feel too guilty, he really respects you, he can die for you, maybe he is also willing, you know, when I operated on him just now, he seemed to be still chanting your name...... By the way, I heard that this week happens to be a thousand-year-old Soul Restoration Week, and they say that the spirits of the dead do not go to the underworld during this week, and if someone who loves him lights a candle for him every night at midnight, then every night between nine and two o'clock, the soul of the deceased will appear at the place of death, and if the heavens are moved by those two, the dead person may be resurrected. If you want to meet him, maybe you can try it. ”

After leaving this passage, Lin Yayue left, leaving Pelidon still frozen in place, staring blankly at the door of the morgue.

For a long time, for a long time.

At this moment, I finally fully understood Lin Yayue's script, worthy of being a novelist, Lin Yayue's thinking is really not ordinary beyond ordinary people, just like that, Lin Yayue suddenly tied the guilt-ridden feelings of Pelidon's feelings and the behavior of the next few days to me.

This emotional drama is really slippery enough.

Just when I sighed in my heart about Lin Yayue, Faye Wong's voice suddenly came out of the earphones:

"Okay, okay, the cottage ghost sister is done here for the time being, Amnesiac Lang, take advantage of the time you are pretending to be a dead person, hurry up and change into a suit, yes, yes, it's the one that Prince William customized, come to Ymir's side! Remember, don't forget to get your hair in shape and polish your shoes! The head can be broken, and the hairstyle cannot be messy; Blood can flow, leather shoes can't be without a little oil! ”

Hearing Faye Wong's words, I suddenly felt that the world was turning too fast, and I couldn't keep up.

has just finished playing the silly dick man, and he is about to reload to play the first prince of the world, the richest man in the world, the first prince of the United Kingdom, this ups and downs......

It's just cool.

"Anyway, come out the back door, I'm waiting for you in the toilet now." Then Faye Wong had no more instructions.

Sneaking out of the back door of the morgue with his shoes and running to the bathroom, Faye Wong was already waiting there, carrying a suit of formal clothes in her hand.

"Uh, Faye Wong, this is the men's bathroom." I reminded.

"Oh, what's the problem?" Faye Wong doesn't care about the authenticity, and I remembered that Faye Wong is known as a man's wife. She tossed the garment bag in her hand to me and said, "Don't talk nonsense, let's change your clothes, the helicopter has arrived, and now I'm going to take you to the countryside to meet the ice giant." ”

After a second of changing my clothes, I changed from a beggar to a prince, and when I looked at my face in the mirror, I couldn't help but feel dizzy.

"Wow, this dress is really good, I can't even recognize my own face when I change my clothes."

Without saying a word, Faye Wong grabbed my tie and dragged me out of the men's bathroom.

was pushed all the way to the roof of the hospital building, Faye Wong let go of my collar, a military helicopter had stopped not far away, the propeller blew a strong cold wind, and Lin Yayue was already waiting in front of the helicopter, holding her dancing black hair with one hand and smiling.

Faye Wong pushed me and said:

"When you see that ice girl, you have to be careful, Allure is the most difficult thing to deal with among us, and pretending to be stupid and stunned may not be able to eat in front of that ice girl."

I nodded cautiously, my face solemn.

"I see, I'll be careful. The finale. ”

Faye Wong saw me get on the helicopter, and Lin Yayue, as the commander-in-chief, also followed me on the plane, and here, this operation, once again need to be divided into two ways, Faye Wong and they are in charge of Pelidon's side, and Lin Yayue and I went to the mountain village to attack Yumir.

After Lin Yayue entered the door, the door of the engine room was closed heavily, and the entire helicopter cabin became dark.

Lin Yayue sat beside me, brushed her hair, let out a long breath, and said:

"Whew, that's hard, isn't it?"

"I see you were walking a little stiff just now, did you just bruise?"

"It's okay, it's just that I've been lying on the ground for a long time pretending to be a dead body, and I'm just going to have a shot." I said nonchalantly, Lin Yayue sneered.

"How is my face, I just wore a mask and acted like a surgeon, is it okay?" Lin Yayue asked me.

"Well, it's good, it's just two layers of foundation." I nodded.

Lin Yayue smiled and nodded my forehead:

"You're getting better at laughing."

I looked at Lin Yayue and asked, "By the way, Yayue, obscene uncle...... I mean, your grandfather, I don't think I saw him in a while. ”

Lin Yayue's face froze, and she suddenly frowned a little and said:

"Grandpa, his mental condition has not been very good in the past two days, and he has been recuperating in the military region, maybe he is old. Don't talk about this, how about you, keep letting you do this kind of thing, in fact, I am full of guilt. ”

I touched my head and said:

"How can I say it, I'm a helpless, homeless person, I don't even know who I am, and Yayue, you also showed me my diagnosis report, I'm already a dying person, and being able to contribute something to this society before I die is worth it. Haha, hahaha. At this point, I laughed dryly, but I couldn't squeeze out much of a smile on my face.

"Remember them, don't you?" Lin Yayue looked at me sideways and asked in a low voice.

My face froze, Agni's face flashed through my mind, and the last haha stuck in my throat and couldn't come out.

Lin Yayue narrowed her eyes and grabbed my hand, and a faint layer of gloom rose on her face:

"Come on, Eleven Lang, use the rest of your life to do the most valuable things and shine the brightest. I'm sure you can do it. You may not realize it yourself, but there is an incomparable charm in you. ”

I don't know what Lin Yayue's overtone is, but I feel that Lin Yayue is really a good teammate, without her all the way to the present, not to mention whether the past few raiders will be more difficult or smoother, at least it will be a lot less fun.

About two hours later, we arrived at the remote mountain village where Yumir was located, the poorest and most remote mountain village in the whole of Jiangsu Province, where Yumir was temporarily arranged.

Lin Yayue, as my action planner and guardian, reported to me about Yumir's situation in the past few days.

"In the more than two days that you have been preparing to attack Pelidon, we have not been idle on Yumir's side, we first instilled all kinds of poor ideas in Yumir through the daily communication of the villagers and the daily quarrels between the village women, and at the same time, we did not forget to post your big-character posters in the countryside to give you brainwashing propaganda of the image, don't believe it." Lin Yayue handed me the tablet, and when I looked at it, there were several big-character posters with images taken in the countryside, and when I saw the big-character posters on it, I almost had the urge to cut my throat and kill myself.

"Hit it out! Press it out! Stream out! If it's not Xiao Shiyilang's child, he can't be born! ”

"Resolutely crack down on stealing life, you can't hide from Xiao Shiyi in the first year of junior high school!"

"Controlling the number of the population is beneficial to the country and the people, and improving the quality of the population, strengthening the country and the rich family - Xiaoshan Eleven-person Cowherd Committee."

"Late marriage and late childbearing, if you want to give birth, you will give birth to Xiao Shiyilang."

"Long live the invincible Xiao Shiyi Lang's ideological victory! My heart belongs to Xiao Shiyilang! ”

"If you want the baby to grow well, Xiao Shiyi Lang is indispensable!"

"Work in the field to listen to the legend of the phoenix, go to bed and work to see Xiao Shiyilang!"

"Xiao Shiyilang is like the sea, and from then on my sister will be in your arms."

"China Mobile Xiao Shiyi Lang, while plowing the field and fighting."

"Xiao Shiyi Lang enters ten thousand homes, and you and I are sexually blessed."

"80% of the mine owners in our county have opened Xiao Shiyilang."

I covered my face and said bitterly:

"Isn't this just a forced deduction of the advertising slogan from the big-character poster and the affixation of my name?"

Lin Yayue smiled awkwardly:

"After all, the time is relatively tight, and it is understandable that the propaganda work is not in place."

"But what kind of brainwashing propaganda is this, it's just brainless propaganda." I scratched my ears and cheeks in a tangled way. Lin Yayue only smiled sideways.

After entering the mountains, the helicopter landed outside a bamboo forest, where we met with the military personnel who had been waiting there beforehand, first to catch up on the old days, and then to discuss the next day's course of action. When everything was settled, I lay down in the military tent for a while, and when I opened my eyes, there was already a circle of fish belly white on the hillside at the end of the bamboo forest.

I straightened my suit in front of the mirror, straightened my tie, stepped on my black and shiny leather shoes, took a long breath, and walked out of the tent generously like an emperor going to the people's inspection, and walked to the end of the bamboo forest under the support of a group of onlookers. At the end of the bamboo forest is the place where the cottages are located, and the villagers who get up early have already begun to hoe the grass in the fields. Family planning propaganda newspapers bearing my name flew into my eyes, and I kept the smile of a merry prince and walked without looking.

At the intersection of the cottage, there was a group of villagers in old clothes, and Lin Yayue had already arranged for a farce to be staged at the intersection of the cottage, waiting for me to come out.

The argument is actually very simple, that is, the road in the cottage has collapsed and no one is repairing, and the two families closest to the cottage intersection are passing the buck to each other, hoping to shift the responsibility for repairing the intersection to each other.

Sure enough, as I walked to the front of the crowd, I heard an argument coming from inside.

"What are you talking about? This road has been your Li Laohan's family since Tang Seng learned the scriptures, you see, even the jujube tree on the side of the road is also planted by your Li Laohan, why do we build the road? ”

"Yo, why do you still have the face to say? Lao Wang, don't think I don't know, every night you run from next door to my house and my wife when I Li Laohan went out to push the cart, you and I are climbing this tree! This tree is your home! Of course, this road is also your home! I don't accept that Lao Tzu pushed you! ”

"Damn, you dare to push me to try?"

"What's wrong with me daring to push you?"

"Damn, you dare to push me to try?"

"What's wrong with me daring to push you?"

"Damn, your ......"

In this way, when the old Wang and the old man with the cart next door fell into the philosophical problem of chickens laying eggs and laying chickens, a remarkable figure appeared in the crowd of onlookers. Of course, that figure was not me, but Yumir, a frost woman carrying a vegetable basket, wearing a scarf, a rustic checkered coarse cloth coat, and rag shoes, dressed as a village girl.

"Come on, Xiao Shiyilang, let her see your temperament of treating money like dung!" Faye Wong applauded playfully from a distance.

"Abbreviated as the temperament of a dung-digging boy." I heard Gu Tingcheng add coldly on the side.

I took a deep breath, suddenly lifted my collar, swung my cuffs, held a feather fan, and suddenly stepped forward with my toes to the sky, and the boy with his heels on the ground stepped forward leisurely, and said loudly:

"Don't make a noise, don't make a fuss, I have a carat of gold in my hand, referred to as gold carats, whoever is obedient I will give it to him."

After saying that, I proudly flipped my palm over and turned out a golden stone, which radiated a dazzling brilliance in the morning glow.

When the words fell, the crowd gave way in an uproar, and Wang and Li, who were arguing, were shocked and said:

"Difficult, are you the legendary ...... Xiao Shiyi Lang?! ”

"Yes, I don't change my name, I don't change my surname, it's Xiao Lang." I walked abruptly, said ashamedly, and then casually threw the local tyrant gold in my hand to the ground, and said lightly:

"I really don't want to despise you on my toes. But you forced me to do it. This gold carat is my reward for you, and from this day onwards, this road will be covered, and you will give me a day to modify the road, so as not to stain my shoes. I took off my shoes and cocked my toes to despise them.

"Yes, yes, yes! If Lord Xiao leaves it alone, the little one will die and obey! After saying that, the two of them ran up to kneel and lick my toes, but fortunately I stopped them in time.

"Hey, hey, you don't need to use your toes, just be sincere, hurry up and build a road, when the road is repaired, I still have to help my grandmother cross the road." I waved my hand, waved goodbye to the two old men with tears and urine, and faced the village husband and woman with shining-eyed eyes and nympho eyes, and fanned the feather fan in my hand gracefully.

"Xiao Lang, you are Xiao Lang? Oh mom, I adore you so much, I've heard my grandmother tell me since I was three years old that you do good deeds without leaving a name, and only write about the heroic deeds of the past in your diary! ”

"Xiao Lang, sign me quickly - on my ass!"

"Xiao Lang, I'm going to give you a monkey! Oh no, it's the birth of the little prince! ”

I nodded, waved my hand, and said:

"Yes, but you all go to my fan group to register and line up first."

A village girl stepped forward with peach blossoms in her eyes and said angrily:

"Xiao Lang, you are a big celebrity, why aren't you busy saving the world and have time to come to our small village?"

I looked up at the sky at a 45-degree angle, as if there were shooting stars passing by, and said sadly:

"I watched the sky last night, and saw a peach blossom man flying in the night sky, falling on the top of Nanshan Mountain, and dreaming again and again in the second half of the night, dreaming that a fairy woman fell into the mortal dust, I knew that the other half of my life must live in seclusion here, so I came to find my life partner. I think that I have achieved great success and is in my prime, but I can't find a good wife, which is a great regret in life. Have you ever seen that fairy woman? ”

"My lord, what does that woman look like? Am I like this? A pregnant woman looked at me with a smile on her belly, twisted her waist, and grinned, revealing a mouthful of yellow sprouts.

I fanned a feather fan and said aloud: "The woman's appearance is described as follows: if the shoulders are slashed, the waist is like a plain. Stretch the neck of the show, the quality of the dew, the fragrance is not added, the lead Huafu Yu. The clouds are elegant, the eyebrows are trimmed, the lips are long, and the teeth are fresh. Bright eyes are good, Jing assists in inheriting power, beautiful posture, and quiet and leisurely. Tenderness, flattery in words—what, have you ever seen such a person? ”

The crowd was at a loss, and then one of them suddenly came to his senses, pointed to Ymir, who was wearing a turban behind him, and couldn't help but shout:

"Then, the only one who meets the conditions you said is Miss Mi, a newcomer from our village."

"Oh? This Miss Mi is ......" I pretended not to know, passed through the crowd of evasions, and suddenly walked towards Ymir, whose face was frosty at the end of the crowd.

The villagers who showed me the way rubbed their hands and smiled: "This is Miss Mi who came to our Tun'er a few days ago, we don't know where she came from, but we saw that she had nowhere to go, so we took her in." ”

"Hmm. I'm a little interested, so let's take a closer look. I swaggered over to Ymir, shook off my fine clothes, and glanced at Ymir, who was holding her breath and staring at me.

"It's you! It's you! It's you! You're the one I dreamed of last night! My tone became quick, and as soon as I grabbed Ymir's hand, I said excitedly, "Dare to ask the girl how old she is?" What is the name? ”

Yumir naturally didn't recognize me, she just frowned, looked at me, and said rustically:

"Why did I tell Nong? Where did Nong get the cucumber dish? ”

I was taken aback by Ymir's country talk, and laughed and said:

"Apart from the fools and the dead, there are still people in this world who don't know me? Let me tell you, I am the heir to the throne of the British Empire, the richest man in the world, and a man with eyes and hands. ”

Yumir glanced coldly at the propaganda newspaper promoting family planning on the wall of the village house, and said:

"Oh, so Nong is the director of the Family Planning Commission?"

I suddenly felt the urge to pull out the man who had put my name on the Planned Parenthood newspaper and beat him up. I forced a laugh, shook my legs, and said:

"That's right, sure enough, you've heard of my name, one of my part-time jobs is the director of the Family Planning Commission, but the way I put an end to childbirth depends on my extraordinary character and strong personality. How, when you see me, do you feel the urge not to share a bed with other men? ”

Yumir stiffened his face and said two simple and bright words, :

"Vomited."

Then he turned around and was about to leave.

I was startled, and hurriedly stepped forward to grab Ymir's shoulder, and laughed:

"Don't look at me as a 6, in fact, I'm a post-60s generation. In short, from now on, you don't have to suffer in this poor country anymore, as long as you follow me, you will be prosperous and rich for the rest of your life, and you will have no worries about food and clothing! ”

Ymir sneered and said:

"Nong is rich, huh? Prove it to me. ”

"Okay." I patted my chest and waved my hand confidently, and immediately someone brought it to me with a barcode scanner, "Look closely, this machine can display the price of the items scanned!" I let you see, what is the sky-high price! With that, I swiped up and down my body with a barcode scanner to show Ymir the displayed data:

"See? My suit, my donkey, my shoes, Armani's, my watch, green tea! Even my underwear is a joint production of Dior and Versace, referred to as Dick Silk, and the price of everything is 666666, six six! ”

Then I scanned Ymir's outfit again, and none of the numbers showed were more than single digits.

Ymir looked at the numbers on the barcode scanner, raised an eyebrow, stretched out his hand, and said in disbelief:

"I don't believe it, Nong brought it to sweep me."

I smiled and handed the barcode scanner to Ymir, but my hand accidentally landed under the barcode scanner.

"Drop. Pig's trotters are two pieces of eight. ”

"Damn—" My eyes widened, "This scanner, it can't be broken, right?" ”

As she spoke, Ymir scanned the barcode scanner over my head again.

"Drop. Pork head meat five pieces of six. ”

I looked up, smiled awkwardly at the strange-looking Ymir, and said:

"This ...... Hey, hey, hey, it's mostly broken, it's good to step on it. With that, I took the barcode scanner and threw it on the ground, struggling to emit black smoke before I stopped.

I shook my head and said softly in my eyes:

"In short, as a man who dares to bring his own barcode scanner, I never hide anything. How about coming with me? Don't stay in this hellish place anymore. ”

Ymir sneered:

"The toad wants to eat swan meat."

I was stunned for a moment, then rubbed my hands together, and said with a playful smile:

"Without toads, swans would be lonely."

Ymir looked at me with a frosty face, and said:

"How far away is the sky, how far is it."

I said bummerly:

"Don't do that. Aren't you so ruthless? For the first time, I knew that there was such an attractive woman in the world, and suddenly I felt that I was not alone. You really don't want to go with me? ”

Ymir didn't look at me much, turned his head back, and turned away with the basket of vegetables.

"What should I do, Yayue?" Seeing Ymir's back as she turned away, I asked.

"Don't worry, Xiao Shiyilang. It seems that this Yumir's personality is really very similar to Allure's, and even his words and demeanor are the same, so it's not easy to deal with. In this case, it depends on the power of character. Xiao Shiyilang, you first pretend to be deeply hit and go back to the bamboo forest, and the others, PlanB prepares! Lin Yayue's command voice sounded in her ears. I knew that Lin Yayue was free to arrange, so I did what she said, and turned around and walked towards the path of the bamboo forest in despair.

And not long after Lin Yayue's words fell, a row of black and oppressive people appeared outside the entrance of the village, each of these people was holding a mace, shaved their hair, tattooed patterns, a green dragon on the left and a white tiger on the right, and a Mickey Mouse was drawn in the middle.

No matter how you look at it, these people are ill-intentioned.

"Suffer, it's bad, the debt collector is coming."

The villagers took the lead in shouting, and suddenly everyone's faces showed a look of horror.

These tattooed men with maces in their hands were naturally the bad young men arranged by Lin Yayue, and as soon as the villagers saw them, they were immediately frightened and almost wanted to go first.

A bald man led by the tattooed man swaggered forward, grabbed the village chief's neck without saying a word, and said in a rough voice:

"You have been in arrears with Lao Tzu's land rent for five years, and the last time Lao Tzu was collecting debts, I said that if you don't pay off the debts you owe Lao Tzu this time, Lao Tzu will directly cut off the fingers of your whole village! I'm going to collect your fingers this time! ”

As he spoke, the bald man pulled out a knife directly from his waist and put it on the old village chief's chin.

The old village chief was so frightened that his face was bloodless, and he said in a trembling voice:

"Big brother, our village really doesn't have so much money, please, let us go, we really don't have so much money, our village has a bad harvest year after year, and there is often a famine in the village, and we can't live anymore." As he spoke, the people around him began to hide their faces and cry.

"Less nonsense, what did you say in the first place? It's all fart, isn't it? Lao Tzu will leave your fingers today. If you don't do it next time, you will be killed! "The tattooed man roared viciously, like a thunder dragon." Fuck me all guys and take their hands off for me! ”

The tattooed man shouted an order, and a little brother he brought suddenly rushed up, holding a murder weapon in his hand, and viciously hit the villagers gathered at the entrance of the village, the villagers were naturally unarmed and did not have the courage to fight face-to-face with these "evil men", just a face, dozens of people at the entrance of the village wailed and fell half, all holding their heads and curling up on the ground and crying, the tattooed man really grabbed the old village chief's hand on the spot and cut it down, Chop off the old village chief's little finger! The old village chief shrank up, and cried violently on the ground, wailing, that scene was simply terrible, and it didn't look like it was acted.

"Yayue, this village chief...... Too dedicated, right? He can't really get his fingers chopped off, right? "Watching the live broadcast outside the bamboo forest with a tablet in my hand, I was shocked.

Yayue's voice came:

"It's true, but we've already negotiated the price with the old village chief before, and he volunteered to sacrifice his fingers for the peace of mankind and the world." I can't help but feel that the burden on my body is a little heavier, even for such a dedicated old actor, I can't be defeated here.

Among these gangsters invited by Lin Yayue, most of them are special forces, with sharp knife skills and ruthless and accurate attacks, it is really a knife and an accurate one, it takes less than two minutes, including the old village chief, there are already three villagers' fingers cut, the scene is so bloody that people can't look at it directly, and the children can't hold it at all.

In the midst of the chaos, an old villager finally ran to Yumir, who was standing outside the crowd and was already stunned, hugged her thigh, and pleaded with her:

"Please, save us! Now only Xiao Shiyi Lang can help us! Please! ”

The person who asked for help from Yumir was the hostess of the house where Yumir had lived for the past three days, and in the past three days, she was responsible for taking care of Yumir's food, clothing and daily life, and her real identity was an old actor who came out of the play, with decades of experience as an actor, that is, she can cry if she wants to cry, she can laugh if she wants to laugh, and even the funeral can become a talent on the cross talk scene.

I saw that Yumir, who was being held by the old woman on her thigh, showed a look of difficulty and hesitation on her face like frost, until a tattooed man rushed up and grabbed the old woman's long hair, Yumir finally couldn't stand it anymore, she fanned the man's hand away, and said coldly:

"Stop it, isn't it just money? I have it, you wait for me, I'll get it now! ”

After speaking, under the stunned gaze of a group of tattooed men around him, Ymir quickly ran in the direction of the bamboo forest.

"Quick, quick, Ymir is here!" Lin Yayue urged. I hurriedly put away my tablet, leaned against the pillar on the side of the road in a depressed posture of frustration, hid my face with one hand, and sighed.

After a while, there was a rustling sound from the depths of the bamboo forest, and the footsteps quickly approached, and I looked up to see Yumir wearing a turban standing in front of me.

"Yo, Immortal, Miss Immortal, come to me, shouldn't it be a change of heart?" I'm very happy.

Yumir glared at me breathlessly and said:

"Xiao Shiyilang, Nong said that Nong is very rich, right?"

I stood up suddenly and said leisurely:

"Hey, don't be so direct, I've always been a person who treats money like dung."

Ymir grabbed me by the collar directly, leaned into my face, and said:

"Nong wants me to leave here with Nong, right? Okay, Nong helps me do one thing, and I promise Nong. ”

I immediately calmed down my face and said righteously:

"Dare to ask what? As long as Miss Xian asks for something, I will definitely go to the soup and go to the fire, and I will not give up. ”

"Drive out none of the black bears that broke into the village." Ymir almost squeezed the words out between her teeth, and I saw a look of hesitation in her eyes. Then, without saying a word, she dragged me towards the entrance of the village. When I got to the entrance of the village, the tattooed men and the villagers cast their eyes on my face at the same time, Yumir pushed me behind my back, and I saw a few dedicated villager actors lying on the ground pretending to be dead.

"What are you doing, what are you doing? What are you doing here? I raised my voice and walked out, "Where did you come from, wild monkeys, dare to come here to make trouble, don't you know that this is my territory?" Whoever dares to move again, I'm welcome. ”

"Oh, where did you get the bale again? You want to stand up for them, don't you? The balding fat man who took the lead teased me without knowing what to do.

"Oh? Straw bag? It's uncomfortable for me to hear. I clapped my hands gracefully, "Come on, let him know what a straw bale is." As soon as my words fell, more than a dozen heavily armed special forces suddenly ran out of the bamboo forest, came up directly and pressed the fat man to the ground, put the muzzle of a gun against his head, and frightened him "blue".

"A good man spares his life! What a man spares his life! We are all good young people who talk about civilization, don't use knives and guns casually, okay? The fat man cried out loudly.

I "smiled coldly", stepped forward and picked his chin, and said:

"Do you dare to say that I am a straw bale?"

"No, don't dare!" The fat man kowtowed and begged for mercy. "From today onwards, I will never set foot in this place again, and I don't want any money that the people in the village owe me! By the way, from now on, I will be your little brother, your lackey, your slave, I will do whatever you ask me to do! ”

I couldn't help but sneer and said:

"Don't do that, I'm not a robber. I am also moral, they owe you money, I have paid them back tenfold, but well, you dare to let my lover be frightened, let my lover's friend be bullied, this account, you say, how to calculate it? ”

As I spoke, I ran up to Ymir like a pug and said:

"Aifei, how am I doing? You can do whatever you want to do with them, just dispose of them and be happy, it's no problem to learn to call a striptease upside down! I promise to let them do it! ”

Ymir is simple and straightforward:

"What they do to the villagers, they will pay it back. Let them chop their hands. ”

I was shocked, I didn't expect Yumir to have such a strong sense of revenge, I glanced at the tattooed man kneeling on the ground and the dozens of people he brought, my heart was pounding, do you have to let them all chop their hands?

"This ...... Seems like too much, right? So many hands......" I hesitated.

Ymir looked at me disdainfully and said:

"What's the matter, aren't you powerful? Don't they all listen to you, they can't do anything like that? Or is it ...... These people who came to make trouble, in fact, you brought them, eh? ”

I felt a little deer beating in my heart, thinking that Yumir was worthy of being a pirated character of Gu Qingcheng, and even her IQ was not low, obviously she had already begun to suspect all this, if I didn't let these tattooed men chop their hands, I'm afraid it would be difficult to convince her, but, this is the people's soldiers, do I really want them to chop their hands?

Cold sweat broke out on my forehead, but Ymir's eyes were growing stranger when he looked at me. In desperation, I had no choice but to let it go, I said coldly to a group of men on the ground in a rough voice:

"Did you hear that? My concubine wants you to chop your hands, but you don't want to do it? ”

The bald man looked at me with struggling eyes, he looked at Ymir again, and finally, with a loud shout, said:

"Know, know! Since it is your order from the eldest brother, we must obey it, junior brother! As he spoke, he really wanted to pick up the knife and chop off his hand, and at the same time, the other followers actually picked up the knife and prepared to chop their hands.

"Stop!" Just as the bald man was about to chop his hands, Ymir stopped them with a loud shout.

I turned my head to look at Yumir, who shook his hand and said coldly:

"I've changed my mind...... Each of you, slap yourself a hundred times, and don't roll into the village again. ”

Hearing Ymir's words, the beads of sweat on the back of my neck evaporated slightly.

"Sure enough, Yumir, like Sister Allure, is the type of cold on the outside and hot on the inside, although she always has a knife mouth, but it's actually a bodhisattva's heart." Qi Miao, who saw this scene through remote video, couldn't help but praise it.

"Qi Miao, I always feel that if you stuff Faye Wong's stinky feet into your stinky mouth, the world will be quiet." Gu Tingcheng, who heard Qi Miao's praise, corrected Qi Miao's comment on her bodhisattva heart in time.

was asked by Ymir to slap him, and the bald man suddenly kowtowed to thank me as if he were on the verge of amnesty, and then took his little brother to slap me in front of me, and bought one get one free and gave one hundred more slaps, and then left in disgrace.

Then Ymir walked directly to the farmer who had taken her in before, and after a few gentle words, he walked over to me, his face became cold again, and said:

"Nong wants me to go with Nong, right? Okay, promise me another condition. The mountain road in this village has not been opened, and I want you to build a road to the outside. ”

I was stunned for a moment, then clapped my hands and said:

"Good hearted! Isn't it just to build a road, this little thing, wrapped around me! "After that, I called and pretended to ask the military to send a convoy to pretend to be someone from the Construction Bureau to discuss the road construction with the villagers.

Yumir was not reassured, and waited until the representatives of the engineering team arrived before he would leave with me, which took another two full hours. By the time Yumir and I left the village in a private helicopter to reach Nanjing, it was already noon. During this time, Ymir also changed the way she spoke slightly, and most importantly, she corrected the speaking habits of the people in the village, and she no longer spoke in a rustic way.

Once in the city, that's where I show off my wealth. What style of Italian cuisine, romantic French cuisine, naturally one after another. This kind of process has been common in the previous strategies. And I also unabashedly show off my local tyrant and aristocratic elements.

Unlike Gu Tingcheng, Yumir's familiarity with the elite culture of human society is not as deep as Gu Chengcheng's, so some displays of financial resources that can directly stimulate the senses are the best way to display them.

"I've always found Italian food to be very simple and rustic, and I can taste my mother from it. For example, this steak from the T-bone part generally ranges from one catty to three catties, not only carefully selected cattle breed origin and age, but also after dozens of days of air drying before cooking, in order to make the best Tuscan flavor. When it comes to eating a Florentine-flavored steak coated in salt, pepper and olive oil and grilled over charcoal, most people don't have the financial resources or the luck, so they have to eat beef loins...... You say you don't know what Tuscany is? Hey, that's a big part of Italy......"

"There are 450 AOC certified wines and 365 cheeses in France, and this Rockford was the supreme cheese that Emperor Charles VI stipulated in the charter that it was ripened in the natural limestone caves of Kangbalu......"

In the face of my chattering about showing off my wealth and showing off the aristocratic elements on my body, Ymir's face was also full of shock, and she suddenly jumped from the mountain village where she had to calculate the cost of even going to the toilet to the metropolis, and the instantaneous impact caused by the sudden influx of fresh elements was naturally much greater than the one that put her in the aristocratic world at the beginning.

I took out a key directly, shook it in front of Ymir, and said proudly:

"I've bought a new manor, how big it scares you to say - it took me two and a half hours to drive around! Do you want it, if you want it, just say it, and I'll give it to you. ”

Yumir stiffened his eyebrows and said:

"Well, I still don't want such a broken car."

“……”

Ymir looked at the table full of plates and asked, "Is this the rich man?" Can you afford pearls by drinking milk tea, and can you afford eggs by eating scrambled eggs with tomatoes? A piece of toilet paper doesn't need to be folded eight times? ”

I smirked and said:

"Is that all you seek? Just say it, whatever you say, I'll satisfy you! In this world, there are still things I can't buy! - As long as you are willing to be by my side! ”