In the middle of the night, I woke up from a nightmare, dreaming that the mayor's daughter led people to my hotel, they stripped me naked, took pictures, recorded videos and uploaded them to the Internet, I woke up suddenly, a strong palpitation feeling came, I covered my chest in a cold sweat, I got up and wanted to drink water, found that the water glass was empty, so I went out for a walk.

I found a vending machine, bought a can of Coke, took a sip, and still didn't have any taste, I smiled wryly, I lost my sense of taste, what is the meaning of this life.

I staggered to the park, and I found a diary in the park, bound by hand, and the paper was thick and fibrous, and Jin Toad suddenly said, "This is rice paper." ”

Flipping through the diary, it was written in Juanxiu's handwriting: "If you are as quick as I am and are overwhelmed by the thoughts in your head, then please write it down."

Depression is an undead cancer, and it has sent a living human being to hell, and he will endure the most painful thing in the world every day until he dies.

If your situation is the same as mine, then please write it down, you will write it down, I'm already good, this is my hand-cut book, using the best rice paper.

Xuan paper is the quintessence of China, this diary has a total of 100 copies, I put it in all corners of the city, give it to people like you, put your pain, Write down your panic, no matter how ridiculous and terrifying the content in your head is, you can face it squarely, you can write it down to overcome it and surrender to him, it is useless to escape, depression is actually a simple split personality, an enemy suddenly appears in your mind, he makes you miserable, he makes you uncomfortable, but he is yourself, write it down and you will be fine. ”

When I got the book, I strode back to the hotel, pulled a pen out of a drawer and began to write down all the fears or discomforts that came to my mind.

Sure enough, it tortures your thoughts all the time, and if you write it, it will be alleviated a lot, and the reason why it keeps torturing you is because your brain thinks it's important, so it keeps reminding you to record it.

The following messy text is all crazy words in the book:

And then I thought: what am I doing, what should they do if they see me finding me?

For example, I was in real-name verification, or I saw the news of someone doxing, and suddenly thought, what if they got my information?

Then the brain began to mess up, and began to think about countermeasures, or the result of being discovered by them, and when I thought about being discovered by them, wouldn't I be wasted, so I thought about it and panicked, and had negative emotions of fear and grievance.

This is a kind of thinking of seeking good fortune and avoiding evil, after all, people are very powerful, and they pose a threat to me in real life, so the mind wants to find a countermeasure, but ah this is all a false alarm, and my mind is repeatedly entangled in this for defense and protection, to tell the truth it is useless.

100% of the worries will not come true.

It's all about you're still scared, your body, your mind thinking about how to resolve it, what if they come?

There are no ifs, and if there are ifs, you are dead a long time ago.

You remember one thing, why your brain is messed up is because after you get hurt, you will have a personality, he will remind you every day, someone is scolding you, someone is going to beat you, someone is going to doxx you, finding you and killing you, he is doing this because he is afraid, he is worried that his life will be ruined, this person is your personality, he is you, he is not not not making you happy, but he is afraid that he will die, you help him hug him, he is not a devil, he is just a frightened child.

Remember I said that the id, ego, superego, etc.

This self is this flesh, eating, drinking, hungry and tired.

The ego is consciousness, and what I see forms memories and knowledge.

More than is something that is imagined based on the feelings of the self and the record of the self.

Frightened is more than this little guy.

Many people are scared when they are depressed, they feel that there is a thought that is messing up their lives, making him constantly think of certain pictures and words, his heart is pierced, he is afraid and frightened, and some people go crazy and commit suicide.

You don't have to fight, you have to hug him and appease the superego's worries.

It's okay, let's do it together, don't be afraid, with everyone, we can solve anything together.

After the superego came back, I found that I was no longer distracted, three I was three souls, and if one was missing, people loved to wander, just like last year when I walked on the road and couldn't give up.

In fact, I don't need to know how to treat it, and when I saw people talking about my illness on the Internet, I realized that it was not only me who thought so, but the whole human group would do this, and I was not afraid to think so.

I was angry with others first, and now I recognize my own shortcomings, people's brains have to think about things, I used to think useless, and now I don't know what to do after I stop being obscene and angry, my head is very empty and I don't know what to do, and I am also very confused about the future.

It's a matter of not being able to figure it out, just be right yourself! Don't care about others, you and you are not a saint.

I was really stupid, I didn't know how to be flexible and stubborn at that time, thinking that my life was precious.

Be good for yourself, don't worry about anything else.

Don't be afraid of what you haven't done, that thing is not a bad thing, it's just a malicious misinterpretation of the joke what you are afraid of, what others say is what you should do, you do everything you need to do, do your best to obey the destiny of heaven, you have a clear conscience, you are afraid of what others say.

Whenever I feel uncomfortable, what I lose is the present, I think about the past when others bullied me, and then I think about what I will do in the future, won't my life be ruined? There is no way out, the more I think about it, the more aggrieved I become, because my imagination is limited and I can't depict the future

Worrying about what others will do to me, it will restrain my psychology and make me afraid to go out, for fear of being retaliated against, and fantasizing about how to retaliate against others will make me unable to get out and fall into it.

Worry can make me scared and anxious.

Fantasizing about revenge will make me angry.

The intersection of the two emotions tormented me repeatedly.

It's one thing for others to scold you, you yourself feel uncomfortable after listening to it, fear of insanity, depression is your own business, don't blame others, everyone takes care of themselves, you can't stop others from saying anything, but you can stop being uncomfortable, I think about it now, I can't blame others, because others didn't do anything at all, uncomfortable depression is your spontaneous behavior, if this situation arises, you should correct yourself instead of blaming others.

This thing is actually a person's mental journey, I used to be confused, and now I decided to get rid of all this, I mean to accept and improve all this, not that my past is a mistake, a sin, it makes it uncomfortable to think about, you have to figure it out, dear, you fight yourself, hate your previous self, are you stupid.

The people in the whole town are actually not as smart as me, I think about some philosophical things, they are ordinary people, but I like these ordinary people more now, because they will not be sad because of their own thoughts, and they are the most stupid to confront themselves, Liu Zheng is right, everything goes naturally, and besides, I have done so many things, it's time to stop, waste time.

Every time the mental journey is actually very chaotic, and it takes a while to figure it out.

Anyway, it's not clear, it's only going to get more and more chaotic, so don't be useless.

But it's right to write out what you really think.

It's one thing for others to scold you, you yourself feel uncomfortable after listening to it, fear of insanity, depression is your own business, don't blame others, everyone takes care of themselves, you can't stop others from saying anything, but you can stop being uncomfortable, I think about it now, I can't blame others, because others didn't do anything at all, uncomfortable depression is your spontaneous behavior, if this situation arises, ignore it.

Anyway, now I can think about life, it's a good thing not to eat and wait for death, I used to be addicted to games to cover up the hollowness in my heart, but now I can face my boring life head-on.

People who have no long-term worries must have near-term worries, and I am talking about me, I have no ambition to eat and wait for death every day, and I have no goal.

Some of my thoughts are really terrible, and I'm scared after thinking about it, thanks to the fake, if I come to myself, then I will die one by one, so the biggest enemy in the world is yourself, and if you don't die, you won't die, because you can definitely kill yourself, and you know where your weakness is.

Now I, drinking Coke and eating pizza in the pizzeria, my body was at peace for a while, and I collapsed for about a month, during this period, it was Brother Toad who manipulated my body, he controlled me to eat, sleep, and, and when I woke up, I found that my hair was very long, so I took a shower and got a haircut.

I'm eating my pizza and flipping through the words I've written when I've been crazy these days.

The state at that time was interesting.

It's chaotic and orderly.

I saw myself convincing myself over and over again, copying all kinds of chicken soup for the soul over and over again.

The panic and helplessness I felt when I wrote.

This month, I actually wrote a diary, and my garbage words, the more regular it is, although it is not as good as Pang Zhonghua, but the writing is smooth, and the font can be called beautiful.

It shows that people are not the same as being stupid.

Going crazy is when the person is running the wrong track, and it is the computer that is running the wrong instructions.

It's the chaos that comes with 1+1=3.

One wrong step, one wrong step is what I said.

I was flipping through my manuscript, and a man brought a large pizza to find a table, but it was full, and he came to me: "This little friend, the surrounding is full, I'll share a table with you." ”

I moved my things and looked up, and this person was actually a Taoist priest!

Yes, that's right, the kind of ghost hunter in the movie, dressed in a blue robe, sat across from me and gulped on pizza and coke.

He ate and looked at me and said thoughtfully, "You have something in you." ”

I was taken aback: "Dao Chief, can you see that?"

The Taoist took a big sip of Coke and swallowed the pizza in his mouth: "It's okay, I'll just say it casually, don't take it seriously." ”