Dear President Xi,

Hello!

I am very presumptuous to write you this open letter, and I am sure that with the current ability to disseminate information, you will definitely see it. I am writing this letter to thank you for all your hard work over the years for those of us who have been unsung and have dragged our country back.

The moment you were elected president, I remember the words that were put on you: the youngest – but for years, you also had gray hair.

This year, in the canteen of "Itebang" in the Changji Industrial Zone of Xinjiang, I watched the live broadcast of the military parade on the television.

I haven't watched TV in years. At that time, if it was the day shift, I had to rush to the office half an hour in advance to check the data report filled out by several assistants on the evening shift, so that I could send it to the assistant factory director for the morning meeting report within the specified time. If it is a night shift, you have to go home after working all night like a day shift, and after checking all the sites and data, you have to finish the factory-level war meeting of the day before you can go home.

After cleaning up at home, it was already 10 o'clock to rest.

So I always chattered about not working overtime, and even said that I was going to find someone to marry, and I didn't want to go to work again.

But if you are in your position, you will do something, and a sense of responsibility will follow. Although the salary is not higher than others. More often than not, when the overtime is full, I will also work overtime with my colleagues.

I miss the dozens of people who spent Christmas together and wiped the cake in Deyuan Plaza......

But the past is just the past, as if the people I care about and the things I care about have their own destiny - suddenly I don't know what kind of future I should choose, as if no one can enter my world.

I had the audacity to write a letter to the chairman of the State Military Commission because my father-in-law had written a letter to President Jiang Zemin in the nineties, but the post office returned the letter.

I haven't read the contents of the letter, but I've seen the cover.

His name is Pu Kungui. A "communist" who has been working in the oil capital group since he was a teenager – I know that he is a party member – it was the year of the 2008 earthquake. At that time, my aunt returned to Sichuan from Guangzhou and picked them up to Guangzhou. After all, there are hundreds of magnitude 6 aftershocks every day – and we all live in makeshift settlements made of fish maw in rice paddies. But my father-in-law said he didn't want to leave here - and his parents didn't have a grave here.

When my father was alive, he would bring him the newspaper he had ordered every day; occasionally they would play chess together when they had free time, and I would sit by and watch them play games since I was a child; I liked to steal ginseng essence from my father-in-law's unit; I liked to eat the lard fried rice he made for me without my parents when he was highly myopic of more than 1,000 degrees; I liked to listen to him talk about which country's latitude and longitude, how much population it was, who was in power, and what the economy was while watching TV...... Although I go in one ear and out the other.

There was no earthquake, my house was still there, but I didn't live at home — it was left to be a playground for spiders and mice.

I've been living in his low, tiled house about 50 meters away.

When my father-in-law was a child, he went to a private school at home, and he only studied for two and a half years. Later, his parents died, and the concubine (his second mother) took their brother to remarry to Guangji.

In the past, when Guangji was on the scene, he had to pass through the big dragon gate of his house - the ancestor of the Pu family (his second mother) opened the door, and others could rush to the scene. When my aunt was born, there were bandits shooting, and a bullet flew over the heads of my mother and uncle, and my mother-in-law hid in the sweet potato cellar and did not dare to come out.

My father-in-law has been working outside the home – delivering grain and oil at the grain and railway stations.

So my mother's family was very poor - there was no labor to earn a share, she was always in debt, and she was laughed at and bullied by many people. My mother-in-law has been beaten, her head has been injured, and she has no choice but to defend her dignity and vent her grievances by scolding others - she is very kind and skillful.

When I was a child, I loved the red cloth shoes she made for me, and although my parents would buy me leather shoes, I often wore the cloth shoes she made for me.

My father-in-law and my father-in-law would not have been so poor, but I don't know why they set a fire to the mahogany furniture of the Pu family overnight, burned it all, and burned it for a day and a night (An Wei told me. ）

All the food stamps/cloth stamps/oil stamps he gave me for local use were taken away by the child's father.

It was a memorial that accompanied my father-in-law's lifelong work and memories.

Two years ago, there was a film script contest in Chongqing, and on a whim, I interviewed my father-in-law one afternoon and took detailed notes - but the notebook was also lost in my rented house in March this year.

What has happened in the past year or so shows the importance of choosing a life partner.

I don't dare to venture near anyone anymore, even for fear of hurting the other person and being hurt myself.

Although I said that I was an ordinary and ordinary little woman, the flame of "unwilling to be ordinary" burning in my heart made me want to be reborn.

For what rebirth?

For dreams or love?

So what are my dreams? As if I didn't have a dream. Growing up, I just wanted to do everything well, not disappoint my father, and be a daughter he could be proud of.

But I made one small mistake, and he abandoned me—because I couldn't be the number one he wanted forever? I couldn't hold on to the man and the heart of the boy he was talking about, or even his future?

His death changed me from a happy and lively me to a melancholy and confused.

All kinds of rumors suddenly appeared.

"Corruption, raising a junior ......"

For this reason, I got into a fight with my classmates with a broom in the classroom......

*, my father was not that kind of person. Even if he raises a junior, he will never be corrupt.

He is conscientious and responsible.

Even if she raised a junior, it was my mother's own fault, and her ideological realm was not worthy of my father.

I shouldn't have prevented them from divorcing, in that case, maybe my father would be in a better mood and still alive.

My mother didn't take into account my father's work pressure, and there were all kinds of hypochondriacal symptoms, so he had no warmth and love under all kinds of pressure and competition.

I loved my father and loved it since I was a child. He made me willingly swoon with him, because he was a great man.

Although he disappeared from this world for many, many years, he will always live in my heart and no one can replace him.

Started as a child. He took me to the Chongqing Construction Bank to borrow money back to Guangji, and took a white cloth bag of flour, which could only hold 50,000 yuan in one bag—the maximum denomination was 5 yuan. And when we pass through the downtown area of Chongqing, we will install police lights on our cars. The second cousin got out of the car with a baton in his hand and let the vendors on both sides give way.

I'm always curious to sit in the back seat of a white car, looking through the window at the people and scenery on both sides.

On Children's Day, when I was in junior high school, my teacher gave me five invitations to take back to my father.

When I was in elementary school, there were only one or two invitations. The mother represents the parents, while the father represents the factory.

After returning home from school that week, my father took the invitation and attacked me for the first time: "Do you think the family is very rich? Do you think that we opened the factory? ”

I timidly replied, "Okay." ”

That year, my father's unit was reformed, and the management team was "replaced". The unit is more than 10 million yuan short of the bank, and all the loans are taken out by him.

In order to repair the calcium silicate board factory, he took out a loan of 20 million, but after the repair, there was a vacancy of more than 10 million yuan.

My mother got sick that year and went to the doctor, and my father's unit was basically nothing he was responsible for — but when it happened, the people in charge of the project at the time shirked it. My father was on the cusp.

He committed suicide by taking poison.

From the time I was two years old in kindergarten, they only signed up for the first day and they took me to school, and then I walked to school on my own. He told me, "Don't get in anyone's car." ”

And my mother taught me to remember a passage, if one day I got lost or was abducted, I would ask others for help: "I am Qin Qin, and I live in Group 3, Nanyue Village, Mianzhu County, Sichuan Province, People's Republic of China. My father's name is Qin Yiyuan, and my mother's name is Pu Wuxiu. My uncle's name is Qin Yihong, my aunt's name is Tang Fengru, and my brother's name is Qin Yong. ”

For more than ten or twenty years, I hated my father so much that I didn't even go to the grave to worship - he was so radiant that no matter what I did, I would be compared. Obviously opened a small shop in order to survive basically, but it was said to cover up wealth.

He is a hard-working and thrifty man who drives a tractor to work in a field or a farm vehicle to run freight at night.

When he was on a business trip to Chongqing, he was reluctant to eat - to save for the unit.

The prosperity of our family is not his corruption, but his hard-working hands and his flexible mind.

I will not allow anyone to label him as "embezzlement".

After he died, I became an "orphan" that no one cared about, wandering through my mother's complaints and suspicions every day.

The relatives began to be hostile to each other, and the root of the hostility was: who killed Qin Yiyuan.

I'm tired, I don't want to listen to these words, I don't even want to be Qin Yiyuan's daughter.

I had to be number one since I was a child, and I had to do what he said I wanted to be his daughter.

But what's the use?

Except to hide in their own little world and try to survive, where do you have the heart to listen to any comments?

Is the gossip me? Do you really understand my life? Do you know why I hate him so much?

I didn't plan my life well, and since I wrote this male frequency book, I learned to look at things from a man's standpoint, and slowly had the life plan in the "Testimonials" at that time.

I thought that after writing the book in 2019, I would find a man who loves me and be a housewife and husband and children.

Educating an outstanding child is my ultimate dream.

But who is he, I never thought about it?

I've always believed that no matter who the future partner is, I can be the ideal wife. But there is a precondition, that man's ideological realm must be the same as mine, otherwise we will not talk more than half a sentence.

From the year my father died, I didn't know what the future was. He told me, "After studying, Dad will find you someone to marry, and you don't have to worry about anything......"

But he said that he also had an independent twenty years of life experience, I didn't seem to be able to go in, I didn't dare to get close to him, for fear of hurting him and delaying his future - why do I understand what Xiaoman meant by delay at this moment.

Thirty years old, our "career" has just begun, in this battle for hegemony in life, will we have a negative impact on the other half of the future?

I wonder if he will accept and protect me for the rest of my life, go back to the time when we were separated, go back to the past, and "create" a happy "Garden of Eden" in this place full of "sores"?

Can the missed "mistakes" really be written off?

During those days in Xinjiang, one of those days was also your birthday - the news aired.

But when I was watching the parade, I stood in the aisle in the middle of the cafeteria, and I couldn't stop crying.

Maybe some people think I'm crazy and stupid, and I will cry when I watch a military parade.

Here I want to tell you the reason for my crying: You are standing unarmed on the parade car, and the soldiers on both sides are fully armed with real guns, and suddenly I think you are so brave! At that moment, I admired you - you dared to go into battle shirtless, if there was a 1 in 10,000 chance, I am talking about if, if any of the soldiers at that time committed a neurological disorder beyond his control, it must not have caused a terrible consequence? And every time you travel, you put your life and death out of the way, so I stupidly stood three meters away from the TV and stared at the screen, crying while observing the movement inside.

It was also a coincidence that a cousin of mine named Liu Min (now I don't know if he was his elder brother or younger brother), after I fled back to Sichuan from Xinjiang in a panic like a mouse, he said to me on the phone, "Sister, I am filming a military parade in Xinjiang." ”

*, would you be scared at my age?

Do you have existential worries because you see the scattered dwellings on the vast Gobi Desert?

Have you ever been confused by the endless desert, except for a cluster of wind power plants somewhere, just the transmission of wires and poles?

Will you be speechless because of the "mothers" who don't follow the rules and regulations everywhere?

When they flew to Xinjiang, they deliberately brought inferior power banks, and deliberately played with their mobile phones to make calls during the flight, preferring to sit in their seats...... Anyway, he completely disregarded his own safety and the safety of other people in his companionship.

Also*, I was super sad when I talked about it, my mother had a problem with her own thoughts, and she prescribed sleeping pills at Mianzhu Ankang Hospital (there were many people present at the time, and she had to prescribe medicine - she had been like this for many years, and she had to go to the hospital to see a doctor and take medicine when she was not sick. So I said to Dr. Zhang Lequn: "You see what is wrong with her, you prescribe it for her, and prescribe it for me." ”）

I said this because she was prescribing it to me, and she had to ask me to take medicine—which I couldn't take for a long time. When I think of this, I hate her so much that I have eaten it for four months, giving me a bad headache and despairing stupidly. I'm not a lab mouse, and I don't have any money—they just let me take medicine and spend money, and they want me to pay it back...... ）

At the end of March, I was drugged by my child's father before I fell into a coma.

Later, when I found out that he was taking drugs, I was emotional and tore up the handwritten outline of "The Gods".

He ruined all my life plans, and even after he got nervous and quarreled with me after taking drugs, I still desperately encouraged him to face life seriously, even though he had a criminal record - because he had experienced a lot of mistakes and introspection, I thought he would be enlightened and reborn.

But he didn't.

After he drugged me and punctured my and my child's fingers and toes with needles, I had a big argument with him.

He framed me every day, saying that someone came to my house to look for me, and made a lot of virtual evidence to question me.

The torment of my soul hurt me more than when he put a machete against my chest last year.

Then he gave me some kind of "*" written in the book, and left me in a coma for a few days, and when I woke up, I was dizzy, weak, and crying—and it was at that time that I began to suspect that he had a purpose in approaching me.

I just want to say goodbye to him and ask him to take care of his parents and daughter on his own. That's his responsibility.

He who hurts me and owes me should also pay it back, because he is a man. Keep saying that you are my brother, but is there such an insulting brother?

He deliberately made me pregnant, disregarding my life - he also did not allow me to go to school for 10 days after Macau's return to China. It sounds good: "When I grow up, I will help you avenge, I can't stand it anymore." ”

What do I have against me?

I hate my father, did he go to Hades and take him back for me, and make me ask him why he abandoned me?

Let me despair of all feelings since I was a child?

Obviously, together, I also told him about the outline of the gods, but his character and quality are not satisfactory, and there should be no such a "happy heart" at all.

*, please take care of your health, please believe that our generation will definitely do a lot of things, not only the education and people's livelihood that you mentioned in your speech.

We will also strive in all aspects to surpass the world power in all fields.

I am a young eagle boy in Deyang City in 1995.

In the past, on TV, the best young eagle boy in the country would stand in front of the chairman of the industry and salute the Young Pioneers - but I live in a closed bamboo, and I am not among the best.

Taking advantage of the "big stage" of online literature, in my imagination, I will go back 20 years and pay tribute to you!!

Sincerely

salute

Qin Qin

December 31, 2017