Dad, I'll continue to tell you the ridiculous story of the day when I hiked to "Playful".

When bus 699 appeared, I saw that the driver was not the uncle I thought he was, so I didn't get on the bus.

The reason why I wanted to meet that uncle was because one day in the first half of the year when I was so angry that I was "angry", the bus I was riding was driven by that uncle.

And the two times I met him, I felt very kind.

I stared at him carefully, and paid special attention to the "scar" on the right side of his face in the summer, and silently painted it in my mind a few times.

When I saw him wearing the same black and white plaid linen shirt as you once did, I had a delusion.

thinks that he used to be an undercover agent, and all along, he hid on the top of a high mountain in the Mianzhu Laoxionggou Scenic Area, and waited until all the "gangs" he had undercover were sentenced to criminal punishment.

On that day, he wore a flat hair, but in the middle of it was a handful of long hair—like an eagle's beak, which filled him with majesty and love. And I stupidly looked at the scar on his face, imagining how he could "go undercover" in the deep mountains and old forests for many years before he could return proudly.

When my mother saw that I had a crush on him, she asked me, "Who is he?"

I ignored my mother and said lightly to my uncle, "Thank you, uncle." ”

Because my uncle's body exudes a certain righteous and heroic energy, I can look at him well and revere him, he is towering and immovable, and he is a righteous gentleman at first sight.

Dad, I remembered him for so many years, and wrote a letter in a hurry the night I remembered him—but it was "stolen," though it was the roughest of all the letters I had written to him over the years.

That day, I asked the lawyer to bring him the letter, but the lawyer laughed at him, and he immediately put away all the "emotions" he could let out, and pretended to be serious and said to me: "Send it to him from the post office." ”

I sneered because I was one day late for my acceptance letter and changed the life I wanted.

But that's not the point, it's the obvious "emotion" he showed in response to such a simple and ordinary request from me, which made me think about it.

Can't I write to him?

Could it be that if I write to him, I will be regarded as "unattainable"?

Isn't the life he has experienced since I was a child exactly the same as everyone I know?

The only difference is that my dad is dead, but his dad is always watching over him.

......

Well, perhaps out of such inner thoughts, I went home and took a good look at the MG CIA's declassified analysis file on the Internet of "criminal motives and facial expressions", and wondered what kind of "motives and purposes" the lawyer's smile represented.

What kind of truth does his smile tell me?

In the years of my retreat, how has the "world" around me changed qualitatively?

When I finished reading it, I thought about it for a long time and had a few conclusions.

1. The 699 cornet is the lawyer's own, or the person who answered his call is a lawyer.

The reason is that Meng Er's father introduced me to him and asked him to help me solve a little problem that I don't think is difficult, but in the hearts of all my relatives and villagers, I think it is "bigger than the sky".

So the lawyer, as my agent, stands in my position, and he wants to "intercept" all the "signals" that are not good for me, so as to help me deal with the "current situation of life" that I have become "chaotic" unconsciously or without knowing why.

Second, the lawyer thought that I didn't know that the person who answered the phone was him, and there was some kind of luck in my heart, after all, many people can do ventriloquist dubbing now, and I can't guarantee that the person on the end of the phone is him.

3. On the first day of the telephone conversation, the recipient knew that I had written a letter to him, and he thought it was the first letter I had written to him in decades. In the conversation between men and men, perhaps the lawyer has teased him and wants to know more about the truth behind the "letter" from him.

......

Anyway, I listen to a lot of stories, and when I go out to talk to people, I think I'm in the "scene of the story" - because I'm a wandering soul, sitting in a room of less than ten square meters, but self-righteously thinking that I can "guide the world".

This must be the illusion of writing too many fantasy novels.

Anyway, the lawyer's "poof" smile made me mistakenly think that he was Mo Wei at the time, but fortunately, I later asked Mo Xi for Mo Wei's phone number, and after the call, I realized that the lawyer was not him - but in my cognition, I thought that Mo Wei would become an excellent lawyer when he grew up.

Anyway, the lawyer seems to be "unruly" and "cynical" on the surface, and when I first told him to get down to business, he was always playing games on his mobile phone.

Not serious at all.

But now I think he thought the same thing as I did at the time, it was just a trivial matter, not worth mentioning.

But at that time, I went home and read some information about criminal psychology, and deliberately wandered the country roads, trying to see the subtle movements and expressions of the people I encountered.

Once I have learned and demonstrated the truth of the theories in the book, I can go to the lawyer and see what "information" he is trying to reveal to me, or what "inner meaning" I can read through his eyes.

But he always "appeared in court" and did not want to see me.

There is a saying in the book that the eyes are the windows of the soul, but in the years I have been writing the book, I have thought that "what the eyes see, what the ears hear, and what the person himself recounts" may not be real events.

In this life, people have a clear conscience and are worthy of themselves.

Be worthy of your own worldview, values, and emotional outlook - in fact, you are worthy of the "moral yardstick" in your heart.

And everyone, no matter what they do, has a motive, but what is behind this motive?

Just like I saw through the truth of a fact earlier: "Where is life not imprisoned", so in a moment of confusion and despair again, I deliberately asked the lawyer: "When ...... If I want to veto my decision at the beginning, will that be considered an obstruction of official business, and will I be sentenced to prison for it?"

He replied very affirmatively and quickly: "No." ”

He shook his head slightly as he said that day - I remember that he seemed to be very busy at that time, and he sat all the time, so I didn't know that he actually had a big belly.

He misunderstood me, he thought I was afraid of going to jail.

In fact, the purpose of asking him was to know, how can I go to a place with a lot of people and "go to jail"?

I feel that a person like me will be in prison for many years at home, and it would be too embarrassing to live like this for the rest of my life.

Never appeared in my "real life" with a man I truly admired, let alone a spouse who I could safely hand over to the other party?

What's more, because I have long been desperate for many people and many things, but out of the "original intention" of not wanting to tear my face, I have been avoiding it, because I want everything to be "consummated" - "real reunion".

As for escaping, I want to escape to a "big cell" where I can have fun and people who are responsible, and start my life every day again.

A change of environment or a change of way of life is not life?

However, after I briefly studied the contents of a few books, when I met the grandparents, uncles and aunts in the village, they vetoed the authenticity of some of the declassified materials released by the CIA.

Because the appearance of actions and expressions may be coincidental with the environment and people at the time of the event, but after reading the book on the motive for crime, I think that every "environment" I am in is full of "precursors of crime".

I'm miserable for that.

I regret reading that book, and I still want to be a stupid girl who doesn't know anything.

In fact, there are a lot of coincidences in this world - you can't use simple facial expressions and action analysis to peek into the "sincerity" of another person you haven't seen for "love and affection".

But in early September, I heard a little bit of "subtext" in a phone call with a lawyer, and he asked me that day, "That's what you wrote to me, right?"

At that time, I guessed that if he asked me this, there must be someone else around, and this person must be him.

But I said with certainty, "Yes." ”

After all, I didn't leave my name, and the title on that piece of paper wasn't that important.

I also clearly know that one day when I was on the phone with the lawyer, he said, "I'll take care of the matter at hand and call you." ”

But I didn't wait for his call, so I texted and said I was going to find him.

I thought that if he called me, I would go to his house with him with a dead face, and then call the children and start to fight for the "cause".

In this way, I will not have to "go to jail" alone, and there will be several or even more people who will "go to jail" with me.

Because I heard what he meant from his words, he didn't want to be a lawyer anymore.

He has actually been "led" by the nose by me, maybe I guess he has run in front of me, I don't know where to wait for me.

However, it seems that there are questioning voices around him and me, and I feel that he is not suitable to "charge" with me, "crazy and stupid".

Because I think he is a funny person, especially when I tell him the truth with tears, he always looks at me sincerely, and when he sits opposite me and answers the phone, he unconsciously says what I think is a "vulgar word", and I am "surprised" by my "surprised" gaze.

In my mind, how could a lawyer say something like that?

Isn't a lawyer supposed to be super qualified?

However, in the sporadic meetings in the past few months, I found that the lawyer has changed a lot of bad habits, and is a super careful and sensitive person, who should be very good at taking care of the feelings of the people around him in life.

I remember that day he took a very thin cigarette, and I was sitting in his office reading a book on "administrative punishment".

Because I have to learn to deal with the relevant things in case I need them in the future.

The child with a cold, threw the black schoolbag on the sofa against the wall, walked up to him, handed him a very thin cigarette, he took it with a embarrassed face, but looked at me who was reading carefully.