Xie Zebo, now that I think about it, I was like a super long worker at that time, not only had to take care of all my mother's life, but also had to bear the high medical expenses caused by her hypochondriasis.

Every day I am tired and have back pain, and I have to think about the next quarter's purchase, rent, salary, etc. But how is she, not only always gossip about other people, but also confidently said how and so she used her money, and never knew how to worry about people.

It's funny, my dad's will is clearly written, and what money is for my school - even if there is no will, the inheritance should be half of us.

She never made money, I worked to support her all the time.

If you want to count it, she owed me so much back then.

And why should I be at the mercy of her, like I used to open a store, which leads to management problems.

Why did she force me with the shackles of morality, why did she fabricate and orchestrate my life?

Why is it always soft and weak, isn't it just for motherhood?

She introduced me to her current husband, and I blamed me for owing her money when something happened.

If you want to say what is the closest, I can see from her that money is the closest.

feelings, she didn't have for me.

Mother's love, she doesn't have any love for me.

I've been thinking that she has no one to care about, to pay for her, and what has she considered for me?

No.

There were a lot of times when I thought genetics were important, and I didn't have the slightest genetics in her.

And I'm just a fool like my dad, the kind of person who always finds the brilliance of other people's humanity.

Actually, everyone has shortcomings, doesn't they?

Is it unwise to always remember the shortcomings of others, not to examine oneself's own shortcomings, and to constantly remember the small mistakes of others in the past?

When I was forced to return to the countryside by my mother and my little sister, she said to me, "If it weren't for your mother, I would have adopted you that year and let you study abroad." ”

So, my mom wouldn't let me associate with anyone anymore.

Maybe everyone is like this, but in my case, I will work hard to make myself able to give my children the same conditions, instead of blindly trying to make my children live a humble life.

also took the initiative to abuse and slander, which is really uneducated. I was embarrassed to say at some point, if it weren't for me, how would I have educated such an outstanding you.

I'm sorry, but I can do this now because I was educated by others, not her.

Or, it's the work of many grandparents.

It's like at Mianyang Railway Station, at five or six o'clock in the morning, after I saw my classmates off, I cried and cried. A grandfather in a red hat followed me on a bicycle and asked me why I was crying.

In this world, there are many, many warm eyes, and many, many people who are silently dedicated.

I couldn't give up on myself to satisfy her selfish desires.

I'm tired, I want to be free, I want to have a beautiful new world, I want to work and study with people who work hard like my brother.

I want to be a role model for the next generation and work with him in the future.

I still have to work hard to live in order to meet a better him, work hard to start a new life, and live a more wonderful and beautiful life.

In order to give the family a better life, so that the relatives will not have a hard time.

And what she thinks is happiness is not what I think is happiness.

I should be responsible for myself - just like Wang Tong, who disappeared for about a year, paged me in the middle of the night, claiming that he had finished his mission and wanted to see me, and he was trying to live because of me.

I didn't know what he was going through, but I could hear his anxiety and anticipation.

But I, refuse to see him again—because I'm scared, I'm really scared.

I pretended to be calm and told him not to call me again. So, he didn't call me.

And I wonder a lot of times if he's still alive, if he's as sunny as he was back then — there's some light in him that looks like you, just like you.

And I know that if he was alive, he would be watching me somewhere.

Because, he put me in danger, and he should have protected me then, shouldn't he?

I'm not curious about how many big cases he's solved over the years, how many enemies he has, and whether he's doing well.

I just want to know, how have you been doing all these years?

When I talk about him, I hate myself again.

I hate that I didn't work hard to get back into high school, and I hate that I chose to enter a social university too early, which led to a loss of interest in anything later, and I felt that there was a lot of danger everywhere!

Everyone wants to have a couple for the rest of their lives, but the god of fate won't let you get your wish.

Wang Tong, when I was sixteen years old, I inexplicably broke into my life and ruined all my illusions about you.

That year, he suddenly came to our school with his girlfriend and a few brothers, and without warning ruined my simple dream of love.

I don't know who is in control of fate, or who designed my love career. But I know that there must be a devil's claw that makes everyone's love world not smooth sailing.

The world is so chaotic that simple people dare not go out.

But we still have parents, children, brothers and sisters, don't we?

Why should women give up on themselves, shouldn't they work harder and be braver to become people who impress men?

Xie Zebo, I'm sorry to mention the boy next to me here, but it is because of them that I dare not write to you or see you.

Please forgive me for mentioning him, okay?

I don't know what your temperament is now, but I know you don't want to see these trivial things about me, because you know all about it, or you hear it even more chaotic - hehe, if you have heard the harder things, why don't you listen to me tell you the real story?

And the story of your past, I want to hear it too.

Because I can accept all that you have and want to follow the path you have taken, so that I can replicate a path of life that matches you, isn't it?

But it seems that the road I am walking now is what Wang Xiaoman has walked.

The scene in the supermarket that day reminded me of the photos that Wufang sent me about him exposed in the news media.

How similar!

On the same day, I bought Turkish mineral water, because the first foreign land my brother went to was Turkey.

My brother is the man in his book who is like Ding Hao, with star stones in his mouth. I liked his books at a glance.

Because his setting is similar to my brother's, I slowly became obsessed with him.

He was really a trick.

But my brother is not a shameless hooligan like Ding Hao, my brother is the embodiment of justice, bravery, perseverance, and struggle for his dreams.

Xie Zebo, what about you? Are you like my brother?

When I came back in '09, I found your number through the alumni network, but we became friends, and you didn't talk to me.

I'm wondering, why is that?

If you don't speak, I have to be silent.

In the past few years, I have deleted my friends twice and added them twice, so I wondered, why did you agree to add it, but you didn't speak?

Even if it's a classmate, everyone can chat, right?

Hey, I don't think you rich people like to take care of our poor children.

The so-called parting of the ways, that's it.

Hehe!

Okay, okay, now let's move on to Wang Tong.

The day after my boyfriend opened a room with the girl next to me behind my back, I agreed to go to Nanshan with him to watch a movie.

I'm not afraid of him because he said to go to Nanshan.

There are a lot of childhood memories of me in Nanshan, and my uncle went to the police academy there.

At the same time, grandparents have lived there for many years, so what is there to be afraid of?

But now that I think about it, I realize that he didn't take me to a date, but let me into an invisible "early education" center.

But I am grateful to him, and even to the many masters behind him, who made me realize the dangers of drugs very early, so that from the bottom of my heart I didn't want to touch them, and I hated them.

Xie Zebo, at that time, I missed you very much, and even wondered if you would have a girlfriend at school. If you have a girlfriend, who will it be? You may even wonder if anyone around you has touched drugs and will take you with them to get that stuff in them.

The night I watched the movie, I wanted to find you for the first time, and told you not to touch that thing. So at the school commissary, I called Mo Wei and wanted to ask about your situation.

It was his mother who answered the phone. Aunt Huang said that he went to school and was not at home.

Hehe, after a few words, I hung up.

The events of the day with Wang Tong developed like this.

He got out of the car and pulled me to the square in front of the high-rise complex surrounded on three sides.

In that huge complex, there were many people in the corridors, and when the two of us entered, many eyes stared at us, as if they were looking at strange animals.

And they, basically all boys, whistled in the hallway, laughed, and amused......

Downstairs are some malls that look bustling.

He looked around, as if he was not surprised by such a thing.

And I kept my head down shyly, not looking at anyone's eyes.

Suddenly, he said to me, "You wait for me here, I'll go up and talk to the person who shows the movie first, so as not to buy a ticket." ”

I stood there motionless, looking at the square that had suddenly become bustling, and he disappeared into the crowd.

I let out a breath and looked at a small courtyard at the bottom of the hill, which had big red letters, "Mental Hospital".

After a while, he popped up, stood behind me, and said nervously to me, "Gone." ”

He moves super fast, as if he has been professionally trained, and he is not a student of the hydropower school.

I didn't come back to my senses, and he dragged me left and right into the narrow staircase, and somehow into a dim and narrow elevator.

He kept pulling me, as if he was afraid that I would lose it.

And I pulled him tightly, after all, there were hundreds of boys I didn't know outside.

After a while, we came to a small door upstairs, he looked nervously at the time on the pager, breathed a long sigh of relief, and said, "Now it's time for us to go in, this is a movie specially shown for us."

So, he dragged me through the small door into the huge movie theater room.

And in the entire cinema, there are not many people.

In the front row sat several young men in dark blue uniforms, who were very organized and disciplined as they waited for the upcoming screening on the big screen.

As we entered, a man in uniform looked back at him, nodded to him, and sat upright again.

Wang Tong and I were dressed in casual clothes — yes, before he took me out, I took off my camouflage uniform in the dormitory and changed into a white T-shirt and blue jeans.

When I sat down, he asked me, "Do you want popcorn?"

I shook my head and just said drink Coke.

So he went out to buy it as quickly as he could, and came back quickly.

Throughout the cinema, it was quiet.

When I was expecting to imagine what kind of romantic movie I was about to show, I didn't expect that it would be an animation created by a computer.

However, it was not a cartoon.

It is the analysis of various new drugs and the introduction of their harms - the names of various drugs and the dosage they take, as well as the harmful effects on the human body, and even the huge potential harm and far-reaching impact on society.

At the same time, it also teaches people how to prevent and recognize the differentiation of drug addicts, and how to make drug addicts quit.

The voice of the man who voiced it was loud and magnetic.

The picture slowly plays an animation as his words progress, just like the picture of the drug possessor in the movie "Super Body" who is invaded by drugs and analyzes the side effects in detail.

Wang Tong and I both sat upright and listened carefully to all the "lectures".

Towards the end of the movie, several people in front of them stood up together, put on their hats, dressed up, and prepared to go out.

After Wang Tong and other middle-aged men in uniform in the front row signaled us to leave, they pulled me away quickly.

It's just that the other young men in uniform didn't look back at us, and they didn't know what we looked like.

In the same way, we don't know what they look like.

Now, I can't even remember what Wang Tong looks like.

I only know that he is a dog.

He dragged me through a few paths, and weaved from building to building as fast as he could.

It's crazy!

As we walked around a narrow corner, he put his arm on my shoulders and said cautiously, "You can't tell anyone about the movie you watched today, and you can't reveal my whereabouts and my pager number." After I finish training, I will go to your school to look for you, maybe for a long time. Remember, study hard, and stop going out singing or playing mahjong in the teahouse with the male classmates in your class. By the way, you are my goal, and I can't tell anyone about my agreement with you. Don't worry about my current girlfriend, he's just my current girlfriend. You have to trust me that from now on, wherever you go, there will be someone to protect you. I'll keep you informed of my whereabouts, but you also need to know that anything you do at school and outside of school, someone will tell me. ”

He paused, looked at me and said cautiously and calmly, "If I am forced to take drugs, I will never look for you again." ”

I looked at his eyelids and eyes were so fascinating that I didn't seem to understand what he was worried about.

I took his hand and said with a smile, "As long as you don't suck, how can anyone force you to suck? You promise me never to touch those things for the rest of my life, okay?"

He smiled and stroked my short bangs and nodded. "Do you understand the content of the movie?"

I smiled and nodded, I didn't understand. In my understanding, it is just a movie promoting "anti-drugs". But I don't know what kind of movie it is in his understanding.

Then he received a pager saying that he was going back to school immediately, so we parted ways in the square downstairs of the movie theater.

When he parted ways with me, he said, "The ponies you've seen who are two or three years older than you are going to take ecstasy, stay away from them." I'll tell them to keep others away from you, too. Remember, don't take any drugs, don't come into contact with those people, that's my order to you. ”

I nodded.

He raised his legs and ran, but suddenly turned around and returned to me, "You remember, from now on, your words and deeds will be reported to us, so you have to be careful and pay attention to protect yourself." By the way, I just want you to grow up happy. Hehe, this sentence is not what I said, it was said to you by other people. ”

I smiled and said mischievously, "Where in the world is it so dangerous as you say? You are really humorous, you said it was you who said it, but you actually said it was someone else." ”

Suddenly, as if he had discovered something, he alertly pulled me to hide under a staircase, and whispered: "Pay attention to protect yourself." ”

I saw that he was very cautious, nodded, and said with a smile: "You don't take drugs, don't touch it anyway." ”

......

Later, a few months later, he came to see me at school two or three times, and wrote me his address and phone number behind his back, asking me to call his mother if I had anything.

I couldn't figure out what it was, why did he take me to the brainwashing movie?

And the young boys who looked down on us from upstairs and laughed at us, who were they?

But it was precisely because of his appearance that I was afraid to go out and contact anything, just like what Lu Yang said to me that year, "When I was fourteen years old, I saved three runaway children with kindness, and bought a plate of mosquito coils for them to put under the bridge, but the parents of the three children sued the abductee."

What is the truth of this world?

What else can you do but be worthy of your heart?

Whoever believes, you can give it over.

Those who do not believe will never meet.

I never think that a person's small mistakes in the past can wipe out the brilliance of his life, just like if this world really has the hard truth that the father and the son repay the debt, is it possible that we and even our descendants will live forever and there is no room for turning over?

So, when I told my mother that I would take care of her for my father, did I pay it off a long time ago?

What's more, doesn't she have a husband now? Aren't the two of them happier and happier together?

In this world, after my father is gone, who has taken care of me with all his heart and all his ability?

Xie Zebo, some missed, maybe they really missed.

In my heart, you are so good, so good, so good that I can never seem to reach your heights.

No matter how hard I try, it seems that I can't move forward with you, and I am hoarse.

I was very happy to see you make a patent for a certain period of time, and I was in a good mood for a few days.