"Zhao Yang is really up to you!" Nan Sheng said: "You have lived most of your life but you still haven't figured out what you are wrong about?" Why did you dominate a home like this? ”

"Why?" Zhao Guangwu smiled awkwardly.

"You're not putting yourself in the right place." Nan Sheng said: "Before you got married, you didn't realize that you are an independent individual, an independent man, you regard your marriage as a means to please Grandma Zhao Yang, you think you are filial, but you forget that your so-called filial piety is based on ruining the happiness of another woman." ”

"Marriage is not your business alone, and Zhao Yang's mother is not a tool you use to perfunctory and please your mother. Even if you are going to get married, you should tell her your true thoughts before you get married, instead of letting her hold the hope of love and the good hope of marriage to meet the disappointments you give again and again. ”

"To put it bluntly, in this family, you have never protected her, and you have never regarded him as your true lover."

"She's my lover." Zhao Guangwu said: "This is the saying of our generation, according to the words of your young people now, it is a wife." ”

"No!" Nan Sheng shook his head lightly: "You have never regarded her as your lover, you just passively put her in the position of daughter-in-law, you just chose her to be the mother of your child." ”

"Isn't this marriage just to have children and live, I think it's pretty much the same."

"If you still think like this, it proves that you don't realize the crux of the problem, or you do, but you don't want to face it, you choose to run away." Nan Sheng continued: "Zhao Yang's mother's words are not groundless, you went to work in the factory of your first love soon after you got married, and you were not even around when she gave birth, if you were Zhao Yang's mother, what would you think?" ”

"Of course, you can give me a thousand reasons and explanations for these, but there is only one truth, that is, you don't care about her, you think she will have children or not, when she will have children, and whether she will encounter danger when she has children. Even when she gave birth, you didn't realize that you were her husband, the father of the child in her womb. ”

"I-" Zhao Guangwu touched his head.

"You think your first love is pitiful, that she lost her husband soon after marriage, that it is not easy for her to be orphaned and widowed. You feel that you stay by her side to take care of her because you pity her, and you even feel that your wife's speculation is questioning your character and making a fuss about nothing. Nan Sheng said tightly: "But have you ever thought about your wife's situation?" Soon after she got married, her husband left home to go to her first love, and her mother-in-law was strong and couldn't tolerate her, so she made trouble with her every once in a while. She also has a pair of children, and she is also having a very difficult time. You think she has a husband, but when you look back, what is the difference between her husband and not? ”

"It's that I didn't think it through, it's that I'm sorry for your mother." Zhao Guangwu said sincerely: "But I really don't have the kind of ambiguous relationship with her as your mother said, and we are above board." ”

"I believe you say this, because people in that era were generally self-respecting." Nan Sheng first affirmed Zhao Guangwu's statement, and then added: "But self-discipline in behavior does not mean that there is no anchor in thought." Spiritual betrayal, likewise betrayal. ”

"Yes, it's my fault, it's me who didn't control myself."

"In terms of attitude towards marriage, you are the same as Zhao Yang. Because you took care of your mother, you gave up the girl you liked and married an old wife who suited you but you didn't like. As for Zhao Yang, because he couldn't catch up with the girl he liked, he chose me as the next best thing. ”

"Nansheng—"

"You don't have to persuade me, I've already persuaded myself." Nan Sheng said: "I have been resenting Zhao Yang before, thinking that he didn't love me but married me, and married me and didn't cherish me. If you don't cherish me, forget it, you still hurt me again and again. But looking back, the reason why he was able to hurt me again and again was precisely because I gave him this opportunity. ”

"You are a good girl, a good daughter-in-law, you are still a good mother, it is Zhao Yang who is not blessed, and Zhao Yang is not worthy of you."

"In terms of character, of course he is not worthy of me." Nan Sheng said: "But things have come to this day, and I also have my own mistakes." It's not that I didn't find out that he was half-hearted with me, I didn't question his feelings for me, and even I already knew my place in his heart, but I didn't want to admit it, I felt that admitting it meant that I lost, and if I escaped, I was incompetent. can persevere, in exchange for not necessarily a happy ending, but scarred and incomplete. ”

Nan Sheng took a deep breath: "This marriage is my choice and my insistence, and I should bear the consequences for my choice and persistence." ”

"Aren't we talking about me, why are you talking about it again. Tell me about me and let me see if there is anything I can correct and make amends. ”

"You're not angry?"

"I'm so angry." Zhao Guangwu said: "The authorities are fascinated, the bystanders are clear, and I also want to know where I have been fascinated all these years." ”

"Alright then, I'll continue to analyze it with you. It's not an analysis, it's a little experience that I have summed up on my own. ”

Nan Sheng gestured with his fingers.

"What I just said is that you didn't put yourself in the right position before marriage, you didn't realize that you and Zhao Yang's mother are independent marital individuals, you don't take your marriage seriously enough, and use your marriage as a means to please your elders."

"What about after marriage? What did I do wrong after I got married? ”

"It's still a mistake to get it right." Nan Sheng said: "From the moment you get married, you are not only a son, you are also a husband and a head of the family. You are one of the members of your small family, and you are responsible for your own small family first, and then you think about the affairs of the extended family. ”

After Zhao Guangwu digested it, Nan Sheng continued: "A new family is like a small tree, only when they grow separately can they spread their branches and leaves, flourish, and become a real big tree." But you didn't separate your marriage, but treated it as a branch of a big tree, and you wanted to continue to grow attached to it. ”

"I'm not afraid of trouble." Zhao Guangwu touched his head: "Your grandfather was not there when Zhao Yang was in junior high school, and your grandmother is left alone in this family, I can't marry my daughter-in-law and split up with her." Your grandmother is alone, and it's quite pitiful. ”

"Separation does not mean living alone, you can still accompany your mother, and you can still fulfill your filial piety. The so-called separation of families is the separation of powers, under the rights that each person has, he has full control over his own life. ”

"Just a few people, and still divide power? Is there a need for decentralization? ”

"Yes!" Nan Sheng said: "Because only by taking control of the right can we learn to bear it, and only by learning to bear it can we truly grow." You just rely too much on Zhao Yang's grandmother, and you feel that there are people in charge of everything, and you are happy to be relaxed and leisurely. But you forget that your wife doesn't necessarily like to be controlled by your mother as much as you do. Besides, there is a fundamental difference between a mother taking care of her children and a mother-in-law balancing her daughter-in-law. ”

This marriage