The fat man was more efficient than me, and two days later during recess, he dragged me into the grove and quietly handed me a bag of medicine.

When I opened it, I saw white, yellow, red, green, big, small, round, and long.

I was a little skeptical: "These are all sleep aids?" How do you look different? ”

The fat man glanced at me and said categorically: "Of course it's different!" Different hospitals are prescribed by different doctors. ”

He took out a stack of pills from his coat pocket and read them smoothly: zopiclone, diazepam, melatonin, estazolam, alprazolam, lorazepam......

It's a sleep aid for meetings.

The fat man leaned over with a face: "Xiaoxiao, are you really going to die to show your father?" ”

I hated to give him a look: "What my dad?" It's called sincerity! ”

I haven't called him dad since that day.

"Yes, it should be sincere. Xiaoxiao, what are you going to do? ”

I thought for a moment: "Of course take the medicine, it's better to die all at once." If you can't die, you will be scared to death Ying Zhicheng and Zhang Ning. Don't you dare to ask me, hum! ”

The fat man swallowed: "That, Xiaoxiao, as soon as the nanny and aunt called that day, your father, no, Ying Zhicheng rushed over." I think he still loves you......"

I squinted at him and struck him unceremoniously, "Can I think your dad loves you?" I haven't found you a stepmother for so many years......"

"Whew! Phew! He has too many women to count, and he is reluctant to get married! ”

The fat man blushed and huffed, and at last he became angry with me.

"Xiaoxiao, it's best if you eat a few less, spill the medicine on the ground, and scare them once, so that they don't dare to divorce."

He drooped his shoulders, a little excited: "At that time, I could think of this trick." As a result, now, alas...... Xiaoxiao, motherless children are like grass, really. My dad only knew how to give money, and he didn't care what I was thinking. Oh my mother, alas......"

I sympathize with him, but who will sympathize with me? The fat man at least has a father who wants him, and Ying Zhicheng and Zhang Ning refuse to ask me.

Die to them today!

When I got home in the afternoon, Zhang Ning was not there.

This veteran housewife, who has nothing to do and only knows how to cook, beautify, and go shopping for a long time, has been avoiding me for the past two days.

Just act. I poured the colorful pills into a crystal glass cup and poured mango juice.

Black, white, red, and green tablets swirled in the juice, and stainless steel spoons made a crisp crashing sound against the walls of the cup.

After stirring for a long time, many tablets only melted into a sugar coating, revealing a brown medicine core, like a cup of "pumpkin mung bean soup".

Is this a fake drug?

I immediately said no, the fat man won't lie to me.

Those who are bent on death cannot be stopped. I brought the glass cup into the kitchen, poured all the hula into the Joyoung soybean milk machine, opened a "good soybean milk", and "purr" began to play. After a while, I listened to the sound of blades and tablets hitting and cutting, and the "chirp" was very piercing.

In about twenty minutes, I left the kitchen and went upstairs.

Dozens of pieces, can you die? If I can't die, will I become demented?

Belch! Worse than death!

At the thought of maybe my mouth and eyes were crooked and drooling and smirking like a pig, I shuddered, went back to the bedroom, and quickly took out the business card of the mad doctor from my school bag, and pressed the mobile phone number on it.

"Doctor, I was a student who had insomnia the other day."

The sun-tanning demon suddenly remembered: "Oh, are you getting better from insomnia?" ”

"Nope." I became more and more comfortable with lying: "It doesn't work to eat one, what happens if I eat more?" ”

The answer of the sun-burning female madman was very tactful: "It depends on the physique, the sensitive ones can sleep for a day and a night, and the insensitive ones can't sleep with three or five." But little sister, you can't take too many sleep aids, there will be great side effects, don't think that everything will be fine when you fall asleep, in fact, it is very painful. Dizziness, difficulty breathing, and vomiting in some cases may occur. ”

It's really scary.

After hanging up the phone and thinking about it for a while, I finally figured out one thing: I put seventy or eighty pills, aren't the medicines all according to weight? I'm going to die with my little body!

The soymilk machine stopped, making three sounds of "Didi Di". I poured the pills into a glass cup, and the colorful pills were mixed with the juice, and I couldn't tell what color it was, like a color that had never been seen on earth. Stirred, it was slimy like a pot of gruel.

The smell is not good at all.

I thought about it, added seven or eight spoonfuls of honey, and stirred it with a spoon to melt it very carefully.

I'm going to die soon, and when I'm dying, is it time to look back on my life? I thought about it, as if there was nothing to look back on in this life, lackluster and muddy, with nothing to be happy about or something to be attached to.

At this moment, if there is a reporter in front of him, he will definitely interview and ask: "May I ask why Miss Ying Xiaoxiao is looking for death?" ”

How do I answer that? - because of being abandoned by the whole world.

For a child, mom and dad are the whole world.

Nowadays, I want to go to the end of the world and see what's different.

To be honest, I'm not afraid of the end of the world, and I'm a little curious. When a person dies, is he unconscious as if he was asleep? Or is it the soul that breaks free from the body and quietly watches the world from some corner? Or go to another different form of space-time universe? Or through reincarnation? You don't know until you're dead.

I'll find out soon, but unfortunately I couldn't hold a press conference to announce my earth-shattering discovery.

I pinched my nose with one hand and brought the bowl to my mouth with the other.

Wow! Wow-wow-just swallowed two mouthfuls, and all vomited out, and the heart, liver, gallbladder and lungs rushed out together.

It's bad! It's terrible! There is everything from sweet and sour, bitter and salty, sour and sour to be strangely sour, bitter and bitter to be strangely bitter. I was so uncomfortable that snot and tears welled up in my eyes.

This strange smell is really a long time to see.

It took me a third of a second to make a decision, a different way to die.

I'm going to die, so why don't I die comfortably?

immediately called the driver: "Uncle Zhang, I'm going out to play." ”

When Uncle Zhang came, I was impatient: "Uncle Zhang, why is it so long?" ”

Uncle Zhang was stunned, and quickly changed to a smile: "Your mother went to the beauty salon and delayed for a while." Uh, the little princess is in a hurry? ”

I'm divorced and I'm still in the mood for beauty shopping, no heart and no lungs! Don't want me yet! Heartless!

Zhang Ning! I'll die for you!

When I got in the car, I slammed the door shut.

Uncle Zhang looked back in surprise: "Xiaoxiao??" ”

I glanced to the side: "Find a fun place, a reservoir, a lake, a river, anywhere." ”

"Xiaoxiao has liked to play in the water since she was a child," Uncle Zhang smiled and agreed very happily: "Then, Uncle Zhang will take you to a river bay with good scenery?" ”

I thought for a moment: "The water needs to be good. ”

I don't want to drown in a stinking pond and be scooped up and covered in mud, like a dead fish in a pond.

Uncle Zhang paused: "I know a place, but it's a little far." ”

Sure enough, it's a bit far. The car passed through the whole city, came to the upstream riverside, the trees gradually thickened, the buildings were thin, the green hills on the riverside retreated, the sky on both sides of the river was low and the grass was wide, a few river gulls flew on the water surface, the posture was elegant, and the sound of flapping wings could not be heard.

There were several small fishing boats parked by the river, and two people were jumping on the boats, apparently to buy fish.

Uncle Zhang: "This is upstream, the water pollution is less, the fish is the most delicious, and your father likes to eat the wild fish here." It is also the base of winter swimming in the city......"

I didn't speak, got out of the car, and came to the water's edge.

The weather is still quite hot in the evening, but there is a cool river breeze here, blowing on the body and feeling comfortable. I picked up a handful of water, and the clear water spilled out of my hand and fell to the surface of the water, making a ding-dong sound. I lowered my head and clearly saw the aquatic plants at the bottom of the water rippling, entangled, and parting rhythmically, like a group of people dancing ballroom dances.

I tried to take a few steps into the river, and the sand slipped into my shoes, itching and crispy, and the aquatic plants brushed my legs, and a cool gust rose from the soles of my feet.

Uncle Zhang called behind him: "Xiaoxiao, don't go to deep water, play for a while and get up, ah?" ”

"Got it!"

I'm not stupid, Uncle Zhang is a winter swimmer, throw himself into the river under his nose, can I die?

After playing in the water for a while, I also picked up two beautiful stones on the beach, a bowl of large shells, the shell was rough, the inside was white, and it shone with a colorful pearl.

The more I look at this place, the more satisfied I become. After finding the water, pick a time, jump into the river, and it's a hundred.

When leaving, Uncle Zhang asked with a smile: "Xiaoxiao, let's buy some fish and shrimp back?" It's delicious, and your dad likes it the most. ”

I'm noncommittal.

Uncle Zhang raised his feet and went to the fishing boat, talking to the fishermen, and after a while, he carried two plastic bags down, and the bags bounced for a while, and the fish was really fresh.

Forget it, you're going to die, it's better to have a good meal with Ying Zhicheng and Zhang Ning, which can be regarded as a farewell. I think.

When I got home and pushed the door, Ying Zhicheng and Zhang Ning were there, and the two of them sat on the sofa separately, with some expressions and some ...... How so? Ying Zhicheng seemed to regard death as home, Zhang Ning seemed to be indignant, his eyes were red, and he looked at Ying Zhicheng with a look of resentment.

In the ashtray, five cigarette butts stretched out to the sky like unwilling fingers, and the air was full of the smell of tobacco, which was a little choking.

Needless to say, it's talking about divorce.

I threw the fish and shrimp on the coffee table and turned to go upstairs. The footsteps stomped heavily on the stairs, "bang" like a chopping knife.

Zhang Ning hurriedly caught up and took my hand: "Xiaoxiao, Xiaoxiao, listen to me......"

Ying Zhicheng coughed: "Let's cook, I'll talk about the divorce later." Xiaoxiao should be hungry. ”

The word "divorce" shot like bullets at my eardrums, piercing it and piercing my heart.

I didn't shake her off, nor did I leave, I just looked at Ying Zhicheng and Zhang Ning coldly.

Ying Zhicheng also looked at me and Zhang Ning.

Zhang Ning let go of his fingers one by one, retreated down the stairs step by step, and lowered his head into the kitchen.

She never disobeyed her father's will. Besides, divorce negotiations.

I have a little sympathy for her, who made her a vulnerable group at home? A housewife who has no job and no career, and has spent many years by pondering food, childcare, shopping, and beauty.

In fact, even if they divorce, I am willing to talk to my mother. Without me, my mother would only have money left.

But my mother didn't want me.

I'm weaker than her.

Without my father and mother, I have nothing.

I took my eyes off Ying Zhicheng, pursed my lips tightly, and headed back to the bedroom.

Pulling back the desk drawer, I pulled out a stack of photo albums.

In this era, QQ space, meager photos, and Moments photos are flying all over the sky, but Ying Zhicheng and Zhang Ning insist on making important photos into albums.

Funnily enough, at first, we could make several copies of our family of three in a year, but now, it takes two or three years to make one. Every winter and summer vacation, my mother always accompanies me to go on vacation, because I should be very busy.

It turned out that there were early signs.

I started with the first one.

There was no me in the picture, just the two of them. In the park, by the river, in the woods, in the commercial square...... In short, everything is a dating place without money.

Handsome men and beautiful women, everything is right. Except, their clothes.

Anyone can see that his father is a poor boy, and his mother is the daughter of a rich family.

The second book, still without me.

Most of the photos are weddings, and half are outings. My mother was wearing a simple and generous wedding dress, wearing fake jewelry around her neck and ears, and she smiled like a flower. Dad couldn't find his eyes the whole time, like a second fool, and I wondered if his face was stiff: who can laugh from welcoming relatives to sending off guests at the end? But his smile wasn't stiff at all, just silly.

It's much more sincere than the smile on the business field now.

My grandparents were very serious, pursing the corners of their mouths, and they couldn't tell whether they were happy or unhappy. Grandpa was dressed in a well-fitting but obviously untemperamental suit, smiling from ear to ear, revealing a mouthful of teeth blackened and yellow by leaf smoke.

I remember looking at this album when I was a child, and I asked them innocently, why didn't I have it on it?

Now I know, they got married and didn't ask me. They divorced, and they didn't ask me.

From beginning to end, I am the product of their momentary emotion, a toy in married life, a thing that husband and wife love when they are loved, and a thing that husband and wife abandon when they are decided.

I wiped my tears with the back of my hand, tucked the album into a drawer, and turned on my computer.

Go online, go to Chang'an City to find the fat man first.

King Lanling had been waiting there for a long time, and a blue and black witch cloak flew slightly in the wind, revealing the shadow battle axe around his waist, which was very strong.

He spoke: "Xiaoxiao, you're not dead yet?" ”

"Dead fatty! Lao Tzu is dead, and you are also harmed! Those pills almost stinked to me! Can't even drink a sip! ”

The fat man paused: "Wronged, Xiaoxiao." How can medicine be delicious? It's not sugar! ”

I'm out of words.

"Xiaoxiao, I want to die with you, you must call me."

The old lady almost didn't roll out of her chair.

"Really." He repeated again: "I don't want to live either!" ”

I got up and typed quickly, "Is your brain in water?" ”

Soon typed another line: "Your father has been tossing and turning for so many years, and you are the only son, and hundreds of millions of family fortunes are yours." You haven't really enjoyed the life of the fragrant car beauty gambling day and night, what is the death? ”

"I don't want the beauty of the car to gamble day and night."

The fat man said again: "My dad is like that, I don't want it." ”

"And what are you going to do?"

The fierce King of Lanling was silent for a long time: "I just want to be with you." ”

"No way!"

I quickly went offline.

Before I turned off the computer, my phone rang and the number said "Fat." ”

I pressed answer: "Fatty, are you finished?" ”

The fat man's voice was small, weak, and a little aggrieved: "Xiaoxiao, can you take me with you?" ”

I was helpless: "How can you bring a follower to death?" Let's die together, didn't your dad stab Ying Zhicheng when he saw it? ”

The fat man said curiously: "Isn't that good? You hate your dad, and I hate my dad, and they both died together, how happy. ”

I thought about it for a long time. Ying Zhicheng and Uncle He, you stabbed me, I stabbed you, blood gushed out, vomited blood, and died together...... Well, the picture is so beautiful that I'm a little afraid to look at it.

"I don't want to die with sincerity." It took me a while before I whispered.

The fat man was silent for a long time, so long that I thought the signal was not good, and tried to "feed", and then he said slowly: "Xiaoxiao, I don't want you to die either." ”

Well, who wants to die?

However, there are people who refuse to be good.

Ying Zhicheng and Zhang Ning don't want me anymore, and the fat man is still reluctant to me. I'm a little sour.

Or would you die a day later?

"Fatty, what do you want to do? Tomorrow Saturday, I'll be with you for a day! ”

The fat man's tone suddenly rose from D to F, and he happily said, "I want to see my mother the most!" ”

"I'll go with you."

……

Almost as soon as he hung up the phone, Dad appeared at the door: "Xiaoxiao." An uncertain look flashed in his eyes: "About my parents...... Divorce ......"

Ignore him.

I pushed Ying Zhicheng away and went downstairs by myself: "What do you and Zhang Ning have to do with me?" ”

Ying Zhicheng stood where he was and did not follow. I felt his gaze follow me, like a laser, as if it were about to burn my back.

There are already cups, plates, bowls, red, yellow, green and white on the table, and the dishes cooked by my mother are as good as ever, and it seems that the divorce cannot affect her cooking skills.

Also, daughters and money don't matter anymore, men are fart.

Love is inseparable! This kind of thing that turns its face and is ruthless is a fart!

I gulp down vegetables.

My mother looked at me and stopped talking.

Dad was silent.

Admittedly, I don't want to deal with them.

None of the three spoke, only the spoons and chopsticks clashed and clanged with each other.

I had a good appetite, ate quickly, and added a bowl. Usually, in order to control my weight, I only eat one bowl of rice.

Zhang Ning was afraid that I would be choked by fish bones and shrimp shells, so he looked at me and frowned slightly: "Xiaoxiao, you take it easy." ”

I slapped the chopsticks on the table with a "snap".

"You two, take it easy." The last three words are accents.