If the result of the re-examination is still brain cancer, I really don't know how to accept it.

Xixi is still so young, Li Yunzhou and I have not been able to get to this point with great difficulty, and the child in the womb is also rarely stable, seeing that everything is as good as possible, I really can't bear them.

Three days later, the specialist arranged a follow-up appointment for me.

I didn't want anyone to worry until I was diagnosed, so I didn't know anyone and went to the hospital by myself.

The doctor had already arranged everything, and only needed me to cooperate with them to take samples one by one.

I sat in the doctor's office, my heart was uneasy, my hands were tightly tugging at the hem of my clothes, the door of the random consultation room was pushed open, and my heart was in my throat.

The nurse walked in and handed the doctor a large pile of test sheets and imaging films.

I don't know if it was my delusion, but I saw the nurse look at me with sympathy.

I secretly clenched my fists, just thinking that I was too sensitive.

I turned my head and waited anxiously for the doctor to answer.

The doctor lifted the glasses on the bridge of his nose, but his face became more and more solemn, which also made a trace of luck in my heart gradually annihilated.

I tugged at the corners of my mouth bitterly, "Doctor, has it been diagnosed?" ”

The doctor sighed, put down the list in his hand, and said with a calm face: "After a follow-up examination, you are indeed suffering from brain cancer, and it is at an advanced stage. ”

The doctor's words were like a thunderbolt from the sky, even though I had made preparations in my heart, but at this time, it was as if I had suddenly been thrown into an abyss, and the only remaining reason was swallowed up by despair.

Brain cancer, advanced.

Why is this happening? Why would God do this to me.

I just felt numb all over my body, my head was dizzy, and my heart was tingling with a cone, which made me breathless.

I shook, almost fell out of my chair, and Xingkui was pulled by the doctor in time.

The doctor's worried voice sounded in his ears: "Miss Ruan! Be strong! ”

Strong? How can I be strong?

The doctor helped me and relieved me for a while, and then I gradually regained my consciousness and slowly accepted this fact.

The doctor sighed and looked at me with a look of pity, but he still comforted: "Don't be discouraged, even if it is in the advanced stage, as long as you cooperate with the treatment, there is a high chance that it can be cured." ”

I raised my eyelashes, and there was already a chill in my heart.

"Doctor, tell me the truth, how many patients have you cured in my situation?"

The doctor was silent and couldn't promise me anything.

But he still persuaded me: "Miss Ruan, you should trust our hospital, our hospital is second to none in the treatment of brain diseases in China, we will make a professional plan for you, use the best medicine, you can't just give up." ”

My heart trembled, if it was in the past, maybe I would have done anything to cure my illness, because I was confronting the Li family at that time, and I was afraid that Xixi would be wronged in the Li family after my accident, so at that time abroad, I have been actively cooperating with the doctor to treat my anxiety disorder.

But the situation is different now.

Although I am not willing to give up like this, I still have a small life in my womb.

I reached out and touched my lower abdomen, and I could feel the expectation of that little life in the world.

I calmed down and tried my best to keep my composure, and asked the doctor in a hoarse voice, "If I get treatment, will it affect the child in my womb?" ”

"This ......"

In fact, I had already guessed the answer in my heart when I asked, but there was still a trace of luck.

The doctor sighed in embarrassment, "Usually in this case, we propose to let the patient terminate the pregnancy and kill the child. ”

"The drugs and treatments used to treat brain cancer have great side effects on the body, not to mention the fetus in the womb, even if you do not actively terminate the pregnancy, the child is very likely to be stillborn during treatment, and even if it is born, it is difficult to be a healthy child."

At the end of the day, the doctor didn't give me a choice at all.

If I want to be treated, I have to give up the baby in my womb, and after this treatment, I have a good chance that I will not make it to the end.

Seeing the hesitation in my eyes, the doctor was able to understand my feelings as a mother, and patted me on the shoulder, "You are still young, as long as you are cured, there will be children again in the future." ”

I smiled sarcastically, looked up at the doctor, and looked at him firmly, "Doctor, don't comfort me, even if it's treated, it's not very likely that I'll be cured, right?" ”

In the terminal stage of cancer, all treatment is nothing more than a struggle before death.

The doctor was stunned by my question, his eyes dodging, "There's always hope, don't you?" And even if you can't be cured, after treatment, at least it will prolong your time, and maybe your condition will improve during this period. ”

It's all good wishes.

I had already made up my mind, and I asked cautiously, "What if I don't get treatment?" How long will I live? ”

"This ......" the doctor pursed his lips and said ambiguously: "If you have a good attitude, you may be able to last for half a year......"

"Half a year ......," I muttered, calculating the time in my heart.

Half a year is enough, enough for me to give birth to this child.

If I'm unfortunate enough to make it out for less than half a year, even if it's a seven- or eight-month-old child, the chances of survival are very good.

At least I have a better chance of surviving than a patient with advanced brain cancer.

The doctor still persuaded bitterly: "Miss Ruan, we can't be too pessimistic, I hope you can still choose the treatment ......"

"No, I give up." My mood at this time was extremely calm, I gently stroked my bulging abdomen, the four-month-old fetus had been formed in the womb, and I had no way to brutally beat him.

I raised my eyes lightly and said firmly to the doctor: "I want to keep this child, no matter what the cost, even if it is my own life, I want to protect this child from being born safely." ”

My words stunned the doctor, who looked at me with complicated eyes, but stopped persuading.

I think he, as a doctor, should be able to understand a mother's unhesitating love for her child.

I barely pulled out a relaxed smile, "Didn't you say that as long as I have a good attitude, I can last up to half a year?" This time, enough. ”

The doctor was silent for a moment, then sighed helplessly, "Since you have made a decision, then I will not force you anymore." You don't have to be too pessimistic, pay attention to your diet, pay attention to rest, maintain a good attitude, maybe you can buy yourself more time, and always believe that miracles will happen in this world. ”

I know the doctor was comforting me when he said this, but I was also grateful to him.