"I always felt pain in my heart area for more than a week before I went to Taishan, my heart beat fast and I had a weak breath, and my ruddy face may have something to do with it. But I don't want to worry my parents anymore, they have been worried about me for half my life. I don't want you to be sad for me, brother, forget it, I've only known you for more than half a year, but nearly a third of the time has made you miserable and sad, poor you haven't tasted much of the sweetness of love, but you have tasted enough of its bitterness first.

So I decided to go to Mount Tai to make a wish and pray for blessings, people say that there are gods three feet from the ground, Mount Tai is so high, it must be full of gods. I have not done anything bad in this life, if God has a spirit, it will definitely pity me and bless me, even if I suffer a lot, but as long as I can be by your side every day, I will be satisfied to see you.

So after arriving at Mount Tai, I saw the temple and entered the god and worshipped. I don't know, whether the gods blame me for not being pious enough, or if I have other grievances, anyway, after returning from Mount Tai, my body has not improved at all.

Just three days before you were preparing for the performance, my parents and I came to the hospital and had a comprehensive examination of me. The results showed that when I was a child, the location of the closed defect began to leak again, but the pulmonary vascular resistance was 16 and I could not be operated again, and the doctor said that I had about a year left to live in this situation.

Brother, when you read this, I know that your heart must be like a knife, and I am not like this. But we are all rational people, responsible people, since our love flower is destined not to bear fruit, then we should let it wither as soon as possible. If you continue to soak in the poisonous wine of love, it will only make you doubly miserable in the farewell that will soon come. And I will, more and more nostalgic for the incomparable happiness with you, and begin to resent fate.

So I'm going to leave you, stay away from you, so that we will all adapt to the new life as soon as possible, 26 years ago, I came to this world in obscurity, and now I want to go without a trace. I don't dare to see you again, because as long as I meet, I can't help it, I can't help but throw myself into your arms and cry, crying desperately. I beg you now, don't add to your troubles by trying to find me, you know for sure that I'm going to collapse all the channels of information.

Brother, I know that sadness is always inevitable, but I still ask you not to be too sad. You have to believe that time will smooth out all the edges and corners, and fill in the ravines by the way, and then you will be happy again.

I have finished what I should say, and the parting bell has quietly sounded.

Brother, my heart aches and hurts, so I want to shout softly again, my dear brother, let me have one last, last time, goodbye. ”

Putting away the letter, I also put away my tears, and I recovered from the initial shock. Yanyan, you're good at everything, but why do you have to make your own decisions this time, aren't we close lovers who are in trouble to be together.

"Yanyan's classmate said that the letter was given to her by Yanyan last night, and asked her to give it to me again this afternoon."

After Linlin finished talking to me, we began to be silent. When we arrived at the gate of Yanyan's community, we slowly walked in, because everyone knew that it was impossible to find her in her house again, and she had always been so delicate and serious in her work. Soon found out that her villa was really dark.

It's been a week, Han Dongxu has used all his connections, but he still can't find any news of their family. I had no choice but to go to the villa every day and squat, hoping for some miracle.

These days, I always wonder if it would be my crow's mouth to mention Jack Ruth, the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl again and again on Tarzan. Maybe it's because I didn't even pay homage to a stick of incense, so I annoyed the gods, and I also questioned the dress of the gods, it was my various impiety that caused the colorful blessings. Don't blame my dad for always saying that I don't succeed enough to fail, I burn a few incense sticks, and then pray sincerely can I be tired to death?

I now finally understand that on the top of Mount Tai, as soon as I played the role of the Titanic, Yanyan caused Yanyan to be angry with me for the only time. My poor Yanyan was under so much psychological pressure at the time, and I didn't realize it at all when I was careless, I really deserve to die.

I remember that there is a lyric that says, "I complain that I don't know how to cherish it, and I am destined to suffer a painful baptism." I have no regrets about not being able to be together with you in love, and when I slowly leave, the sky is my heart. "Isn't that what I really mean?

When life is healthy, no one will cherish it, but will often boast about it, saying that they don't care at all, and live as long as they want. Only when "life" is about to be lost do you know that "life" always comes first.

Compared with half a year ago, I have a new understanding of life. Two brushes with death, plus a tempering of love, this time added a parting of life and death. My unforgettable experiences have seemed a bit dense for more than half a year, but these experiences did not panic me, but made my heart very calm and quiet.

I am truly grateful that fate allowed me and Little Swallow to meet and fall in love in the sea of people, although it was short but beautiful. So I don't hold grudges and fate separates us again, it is my luck to get her, and it is my luck to lose her.

The love story of fate is staged every day, and it seems very prosaic, so God made me the protagonist very casually this time.

God, I don't hold a grudge against you, but that doesn't mean I'm going to obey you. I'm not going to listen to your director, to show what is heartbroken, what is resigned. Instead, I'm going to find her, find my little swallow, and then join forces against you as I did last time. Even if you are very old, you are very strong and I can't fight you, then I have to be with her, with her known destiny, I must accompany her, I will personally send it, send my beloved little swallow away.

I lit a cigarette and silently looked at the villa in a daze. The curtains and curtains on the windows were all closed, reminding me that there was no one inside, and that there should be no delusions.

Han Dongxu wanted to accompany me, I didn't agree, I learned to smoke, it's okay to have it with me. I also learned to sing in the song, wrote Tian Yan's name on the cigarette, inhaled it into my lungs, and let her stay closest to my heart. When I don't smoke, a wisp of green smoke wafts up at the cigarette butt, and then I can spit out the smoke rings and let them form a pattern of arrows piercing the heart.

Lonely this old friend, I haven't greeted it for a long time, and it just so happened that we had time to reunite. Loneliness and I looked at each other and smiled, good friends never had to say hello, shake hands, or give up their seats, and of course there were no seats to give up. Others say that loneliness is a poison, and there is no cure for it, but I am the opposite, I have made friends with loneliness.

Whenever I'm frustrated, whenever I have a knot in my heart, whenever I'm not understood, loneliness will appear in my heart, in my mouth. I can chew it slowly, savor it, and it tastes me at the same time, and I enjoy it, because it's so good to be alone.

Loneliness is so interesting and reasonable, when I am happy, happy, proud, it never appears, nor does it take the slightest credit, and I don't need to bother to entertain, and at that time, I had already thrown this old friend out of the sky.

"Another glass of Mona Lisa tears," I said to myself, filling my glass.

Da Xu, Linlin and I sat at the barbecue restaurant where we drank for the first time, is this considered a thing? In fact, people are not wrong, just one is missing.

"It's funny, half a month ago, I just said don't call Mona Lisa's tears anymore, we don't need to heal anymore, but I took the lead and shouted again, hehe, come and toast." I laughed at them with a little drunkenness.

"Brother Qiao, drink less, let's drink half a cup this time." After Lin Lin finished speaking, the three of us collided with each other.

"Everyone has mistakes, and it is impossible for Tian Yan's family not to leave a little clue, tomorrow I will find someone to think of a way to see where to find a new breakthrough direction." Daxu comforted me.

"I never thought things would turn out like this," Linlin began to sob, "how could Yanyan leave me like this, without even saying a word to me, and not leaving me a letter." My poor Yan, how are you doing now? You're going to have to be good. ”

"She must be afraid that you will be sad, and she is also afraid that if she says goodbye to you, you can't help but tell Qiao Zibei, and besides, her time is also urgent, and the letter also said that she will be checked in those three days." After Daxu persuaded me, I persuaded Linlin, who can see a woman cry when a man can see him.

"Linlin, don't worry, I will definitely find her, and I will definitely let you see her again. I had a feeling, I had a familiar feeling, like the first time I saw her here, that familiar feeling, I felt like I was about to see her. ”

"Brother Qiao, don't drink it, I think you're a little too much." Linlin started to worry that I was drinking too much.

"It's okay, I'm just a little bit too much, but even if I drink too much, I won't talk nonsense, haven't you seen it? Here, another glass of Mona Lisa tears. ”

It was late at night, and I was not sleepy, only drunk.

Lying on the bed, looking out the window at the slowly moving clouds, and then at the golden full moon and the flickering stars that were not obscured by them. Don't you have any worries every day? Why have I never seen your sorrow? Do you say, "There are days every month when you can't see, because you are secretly hiding at home and weeping?" Mingyue, I also want to climb up to the roof to hand you a cigarette, and ask when you can return it to her? Can you be a good person and give her back some words. You walk through the sky every day, don't you notice where the little swallow is? What is she doing, how is her body now?

I fell asleep, but after a while I woke up again, and the wine woke up.

Little Swallow, you shouldn't have left me behind, aren't you in sync with my thoughts? We have traveled through thousands of years to come here, since we have already met, we cannot be separated, even if you want to return to a thousand years away, then you should stay with me until the moment you fly away, because I still have a lot of advice, a lot of sweet words for you to take on the road to listen to.

And now you're leaving me where I am, overwhelmed, and talking to myself. Aren't you afraid that all the words in my heart have been lost in this long night?

Yan, I think you must be looking at the clouds now, looking at the stars, looking at the golden pure moon, doesn't the book always say that there are lovers who can share Chanjuan for thousands of miles. Little Swallow, if you regret it now, and regret banishing me to the origin of this thousands of miles away, then please wave vigorously to the bright moon, I think this soft moonlight will definitely sympathize with me and shine me to the place where you beckon.

I picked up my phone and searched for Qi Qin's "Cold Moon", pressed it to play it on a loop, and let it sleep with me tonight.

"In the face of endless silence

My heart is crying alone

Like the blue and blue moon hanging high in the sky

Raise your head and look up at the night

My eyes twinkled

Crying alone in the dark night and calling for the cold moon ......"