I don't think there's something quite right with Millet.

It's Saturday, yesterday's club class was washed out by the drama festival, and the coach told us to come to school on Saturday morning if we were free. It's not mandatory, it's best if she can come, she takes it with her to do some simple training and make arrangements for tomorrow's game. As boarding students, Miller and I will definitely not be absent. And everyone is basically here, except for Tao Tao and Ye Boss. Tao Tao needs help at home, Boss Ye, nine times out of ten, he was locked in the house by his father.

Training is as simple as jogging around the playground, then stretching and grabbing laps. At the end of November, Ha could already see the white fog in one breath. We are like a slow, unstoppable train, circling the dark red runway, listening to each other's dull breathing, like a train crashing into the tracks. Miller was at the end, his face listless, as if he hadn't woken up. I have the impression that he has always been an energetic child, and he is the first to get up in the dormitory every day, and the first thing he does when he runs out of bed is to pinch or push me awake - it is cold, and he doesn't lift my quilt. Then he just got dressed and shouted to Ke Ke to get up quickly, I raised my upper body a little and said yes, I got up, and then lay down again, so he called me again and answered, and his body seemed to be doing unconscious sit-ups in the middle of sleep. But today I actually called him to get up, and he became him in a daze. Maybe it's because I had a nightmare last night. He ran down and coaxed me for a long time to make sure I didn't have any problems before climbing up. Not sleeping well is for sure. His snot during breakfast, and the occasional nasal voice that grew clearer when he spoke made me sense that he was sick. No matter how slow I am, I can still find out about my best friend's condition.

"Miller, are you okay? Is there something uncomfortable? After the jog, I didn't have time to ask the panting Miller, but I patted him naturally. The one who asked was Mu Zheng, who was running at the front. Everyone gathered around. Miller held his knees and lowered his face to the ground, barely supporting his thin body.

"I'll take a look." Mingming squeezed to our side, reached out and touched Mi Le's forehead, and then touched his own, "It's a little hot, Ke Ke, you take Mi Le to the infirmary to take your temperature." He asked Miller again if he had covered the quilt yesterday or if he had been cold recently, but Miller still kept his head down and said he couldn't remember.

Does the brain slow down and become stupid when people are sick? Or do you have no extra energy to remember and think?

The coach also touched his forehead and quickly told me to take Miller to the infirmary and take a taxi to the hospital if I had a fever. She asked us if we had brought our wallets and mobile phones with us, and I said that we did, and that we had enough cash, and there was money in WeChat and Alipay. She nodded and said that if there is anything, call her in time, and remember to talk to her parents if you go to the hospital. I said yes one by one.

It was indeed because of me last night, Miller didn't sleep well and spent a long time outside the covers in her pajamas and shorts. It's almost December. I must have told Millet for a long time about my dreams, and he just stood bare outside and listened. He's so stupid, and I'm even more stupid than he is, at least I should let him go under the covers and listen to me. I must have been in a state of horror, but now he is the one who suffers.

Why did I do this again? Someone else is unlucky because of me.

The infirmary's air conditioner was pouring warm air indiscriminately, and Miller leaned his head against me as he did on stage yesterday, and I felt his hair tremble slightly from the wind. He had the thermometer firmly under his armpit, and we waited, waiting for a result that might have been certain: he had a fever.

"I brought it all upon myself."

I can't tell who Millet is reproaching when he says this.

"After I got off the show yesterday, I patronized and watched you perform backstage. I didn't go to change my clothes, Boss Ye handed me the school uniform jacket, and I didn't bother to put it on. Well deserved. ”

I don't know if he's excusing me or if he really thinks the cold is the result of not changing clothes in time yesterday. But it's all connected to me. If it weren't me who stayed on stage to perform, maybe Miller wouldn't have stared at it for so long, and he wouldn't have been cold. In any case, he is having a hard time right now, and the reason must be me.

"I'm sorry. You shouldn't have been standing outside listening to me for so long last night. It was my fault. ”

"Huh?" His head lifted slightly, and he looked at me with some surprise.

"I'm the one who gave you a fever."

"I have the final say if I have a fever or not." The doctor on duty looked at his watch, walked over with a smile, took the thermometer with the temperature from under Miller's armpit, and carefully flipped it under the incandescent lamp and studied it a few times. And the two of us huddled on the overly bright and warm benches, waiting for a verdict to be announced.

"38 degrees, you can take him to the hospital. Although the infirmary can prescribe medication, it is safer to go to the hospital. ”

I nodded. Carrying Miller out of the room, into the cold air of nearly December.

The infirmary was still some distance from the school gate, and the wind was blowing non-stop. I try to grow my body a little bit bigger, like facing a penalty in front of goal, trying to block as much as I can. Miller's face was already very fair, and the cold wind seemed to make this childish face even whiter

"Is it windy, cold?" I feel like my voice is a little hoarse.

"It's fine." His voice was so soft that it made me uncomfortable, making every word that came out of my throat harder. I don't know what to say other than I'm sorry. But just saying sorry can make Miller a little more comfortable and energetic? I'm so useless.

Almost subconsciously, I unzipped my coat in the wind, and I thought I was taking it off in style and draping it over Millet.

"What are you doing?" He was visibly taken aback.

"It's so windy."

"Then why are you still undressing?"

"I'm afraid you'll be cold."

"I'm not cold."

"I don't care." I really think I'm pretty handsome when I say that.

"You're brain-dead, aren't you?" His already faint voice instantly increased, and I could hear a hint of displeasure.

"I said Ke Peiwei, you really don't have a good brain. What do you want? I said I'm not cold, what do you mean by putting your stinky clothes on me? Do you want to go to the hospital with a fever like me? Is it fun? Stupid, stupid, patronizing here to play handsome and pretending, I can't take care of myself, I don't think I can count on you to take care of me. ”

As he spoke, he threw his clothes into my arms and took a few steps forward in a rage.

I hung my head and silently put my coat back on, sniffing the collar and cuffs.

Maybe I did think that if I got sick too, I would be a little more balanced.

I caught up with Millet.

"Look at you, such an adult, nine months older than me, and an older brother at home, but your brain is a mess, like a child. I'm glad you're sick, right? I've told you that my illness is my own reason......"

I listened to him when he lectured me, just like when the teacher lectured me.

"The ......," he said, and I hesitated.

"What for?" He replied angrily.

"My clothes don't stink, they are usually clean......"

He laughed "poof".

"It doesn't stink. Okay, I won't scold you, I'm already tired, and I'm even more tired when I scold you. As he spoke, he wiped his forehead, as if he had been a little too excited just now, and he was sweating a little.

When I got to the school gate, Miller rushed ahead of me and called a taxi on my phone. The location of our school was a bit remote, and the screen showed that there were still seven minutes before the driver arrived, and during this short but long time, we both leaned on the stone ball in the doorway. I swiped my phone's screen to the dialing screen and entered a familiar number.

"Who are you calling? Coaching? Miller, leaning against the door on the other side, asked.

"Sister."

Without warning, he pounced and snatched my phone.

"What are you doing?" The look of surprise on my face was probably more exaggerated than the one I had just had.

"What are you doing? Why call your sister? ”

"My aunt and uncle both work in the hospital, so we just went there......"

"There's no need to trouble them, we'll go to the doctor normally."

"It's not troublesome, it's all your own family." I reached out to pat him on the shoulder, but he blocked my hand.

"I said it was fine. Your sister finally had a weekend, and she had her own life. I don't want to bother her about my business. His eyes were determined as he spoke, even though I could see fatigue and weakness.

"I won't bother, my sister must be willing to help." I said it so naturally, as if it was something I could have done easily.

"Ke Ke, as your best friend, I want to say something to you, you promise me that you won't get angry after listening to it, is it okay?" He leaned his head back on me. I didn't dare to look at him and nodded.

"You have no conscience sometimes."

I only felt the cold wind blowing through my body and the hard, cold stone ball, without a moment's pause.

"I'm not saying you're a bad person. You're good, I like you a lot. If you're not good, I don't want to tell you a word. I said that by treating you as my best friend. He tilted his head to look at me, and I caught a glimpse of it, as if he was confirming my attitude, "Are you angry?" ”

"No, you're right."

"I can understand that you want to help me, and I know that your sister will be willing to help me. But yes Keke, after all, it's my own business, and I don't want to trouble others. You are a good friend of mine and want to take care of me, and I am willing to accept it, because I know that if you need me, I will help you without hesitation or reservation. But if you let your sister, your aunt and uncle, go out of their way to make a trip for me, I don't think I can afford it. Not just because I don't want to owe a favor, but I feel like I can handle it and don't have to let others sacrifice their time for it, even if they want to. Do you understand? ”

Nod.

"If one day, I have a serious illness and need help, I will take the initiative to come to you."

"Don't talk nonsense!"

"Okay, I'm not talking nonsense. I don't want to get sick, how good it is to be healthy. Ke Ke, I just said a little bit harshly. You're not without a conscience. That said, I think, you kind of take your sister's love for you too seriously. That's my own feeling, because my parents have given a lot for it, and sometimes it's hard for me to bear it. But parents are parents after all, they are great, and they work hard for their children. Although I deserve it, I can still accept their efforts with more peace of mind. They are the closest people. But Keko, your sister is a child the same age as both of us. We were in the first year of junior high school, and she was also in the first year of junior high school, wasn't we? I'll admit that she sometimes cares a little too much about you, and her methods are problematic, but I feel like she's trying hard to protect you. Do you know? In our hometown, that small place, many girls go to work after junior high school, and get married after a few years, why? In order to save money for their older brother or younger brother to study, buy a house, and marry a daughter-in-law. I was very surprised when I heard these stories, it's almost 2020, and some places don't seem to have changed much. Jiang Yuan and my hometown are two worlds, even though they are only a few hundred kilometers apart, and they can be reached in a few hours by car. I don't know how the brothers and brothers in those girls' families can accept such a big sacrifice from their relatives, how can they be so at ease. ”

I still remember that my eldest brother and I talked about a sentence in the Analects, "The beneficiary has three friends, and the loser has three friends." Confucius said that a useful friend has three qualities: integrity, honesty, and erudition. All three qualities are available. He made it clear to me that I had always been a spoiled kid and that I was still taking it for granted.

"I'm not saying you're like that, Koko. You are very nice, even if you are an outsider, I can feel that your sister is very pleasant to get along with. She's an independent, assertive person who acts decisively when she's determined, and to be honest, I admire her. So Ke Ke, you should be gentle with your sister......"

As far back as I can remember, two years ago, my sister also had a little rabbit named Wangcai (which seems to be the name of a dog). She often came to me to play with the strings with Wangcai, she talked and laughed on the grass with the strings, Wangcai ran after them, and I followed slowly behind, feeling the lightness flowing on their bodies. When we were tired of walking, we would sit down and listen to my sister sing, or listen to her talk about the books she had recently read, and listen to the wind slowly push the white clouds from one side of the sky to the other side of the sky under the blue sky. At that time, we lived freely and did not take life seriously at all, because death was too far away from us. A day is a day, simple, happy, and like all children.

After Xianxian left, I never saw Wangcai again. I heard that my father said that my sister gave it away. She may not have the energy to take care of her rabbit anymore.

I don't know if the parallel world that Boss Ye always talks about exists. If there was a time and space where there was me, my sister, and Xianxian, and Xianxian was by our side, always there, and never left, what would my sister's life be like? It must be more exciting than it is now. How did she spend the past two years? Is it gloomy and shriveled, like wrinkled bark? She grieves no less than I do, but tries to be strong.

I've thought countless times that if I knew that one day Xianxian was going to go, I would lock him in my house or lock him up in the hospital, desperately trying not to let him step out of the door. But this is not possible. I never had a chance to change what had happened. But what about my sister? I know, I should have always known, it wasn't Mi Le who told me today that I remembered, I knew that my sister was caring about me and protecting me, and how did I do myself? Am I worthy of what she has to offer me?

"Ke Ke, you can say something." Miller's ailing voice pulled me back to reality, "Sad? Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned it? ”

"No, you should have said. Mr. Huang told me that it's not that you don't want to, but things don't exist. We can't run away from things because they're heavy. "I touched Miller's forehead with the corner of my forehead, it was so hot.

"I'll treat my sister well. I'll treat you well, too. ”

He gave me his phone back. When the taxi pulled up to the school gate, we heard someone hurrying from behind. It's clear.