When Tang Shan first met Fang Tang, Fang Tang had just turned sixteen years old and had not yet entered her "absurd" era; The second time I saw Fang Tang, she was about to turn eighteen years old, just at the end of her "debauchery" life.

In a word, Tangshan missed Fang Tang's "absurd" and "debauched" life.

On this day, the frustrated Tangshan met the lovelorn Fang Tang again, the former wanted to invite the latter to dinner, and the two walked on the street, originally one after the other, walking and walking, and they became side by side.

In the crowded crowd, the shoulders of the two occasionally collided, although they did not hold hands, in the eyes of others, this is a very compatible pair of lovers. The only thing that didn't fit in place was that Tang Shan was carrying a bag on his right shoulder. It contained all his belongings.

Tang Shan is so big, in fact, he has never eaten in a mid-to-high-end place on the street. I used to have no money when I was a student, and then I followed Chen Yusheng to the countryside to kill pigs, and I had some money but no time.

This was the first time in Tangshan's life that he invited a girl to dinner. And she's a very beautiful girl. In any case, you can't squat on the side of the street and eat a bowl of rice noodles.

But he has lived in this town for so long, but he has no concept of the style, quality and quality of street restaurants, and he is dazzled by the streets, and he is a little overwhelmed when he walks.

I don't know which one to go into.

If you enter a place that is too bad, you are afraid of losing your face, and if you enter a better place, you are afraid that it will not meet the taste of Fangtang.

Don't look at Tang Shan's flamboyant tongue when he talks to Fang Tang, in fact, he has no experience in taking care of girls. In fact, when girls eat with boys, they don't care what they eat, but who they eat with.

Of course, Tang Shan didn't understand this, and walked around the street for a long time, but finally asked Fang Tang beside him stupidly:

"What do you like to eat?"

Fang Tang was next to his shoulder and smiled: "Whatever." ”

This is a very common answer for girls. Usually when they don't want to make decisions when they encounter problems, or they simply don't want to think, they use these two words to blame, which is actually to give the power to make decisions to the boys. At this time, the boy must not be polite, otherwise he will be guilty of taking care of himself.

Tang Shan was very dissatisfied with Fang Tang's answer, and immediately said:

"There's everything on the street, but there's nothing 'casual' to eat. Can you please stop giving me such an unsolvable problem? ”

If it were an ordinary girl, listening to such a robbery, she might immediately turn around and leave in anger.

But Fang Tang is not an ordinary girl, she has been in love for a long time, and when she looks at Tang Shan's language and demeanor, she knows that he has a slippery mouth, and in fact he has never gotten along with a girl at all.

Fang Tang smiled, and wanted to tease him, so he immediately replied:

"Then I'll give you a solution to the question: What do you like to eat? Why don't you introduce? ”

Tang Shan was stunned for a moment. He didn't expect the other party to throw the question back at once. According to his usual personality, it is likely that the topic will continue like this:

It's you who are hungry, not me, what does it matter to you what I like to eat?

But Tang Shan just has no experience in getting along with girls, but he is not a fool, knowing that if he grabs the white sentence like this, it is likely to make the girl unhappy. And upsetting a beautiful woman is a bad thing anyway.

But what does Tangshan like to eat? He usually eats the most on the street is shredded pork and rice noodles, saying that this is a bit too tasteless, right?

In the past two years, he has followed Chen Yusheng to kill pigs everywhere, Tang Shan has personally handled too many pigs in the water, and he loves to eat the pig intestines fried by the country girls. Also add too much chili pepper and garlic.

If in front of a rare beauty, saying that I like to eat chili pepper and garlic fried pork intestines, will people laugh at him for having too strong taste?

The point is, if you bring a huge plate of fat pig's intestine to a tall and thin beautiful girl, does that scene look a bit sour?

In short, Tang Shan, who is usually articulate, was speechless for a moment, and touched the back of his head with a red face:

"This, this, I love to eat, you may not like to eat. What to do? ”

Fang Tang covered his mouth and laughed. She loves to see Tang Shan's stuttering appearance. Because when Tang Shan was flamboyant, she was a little powerless to pick up the words. Now there is finally an indescribable thrill of revenge.

Fang Tang later brought Tangshan into a very inconspicuous family*.

This is a person who worked in Guangdong and returned to Fenglin Town to open it, the taste is not very authentic, and the business is certainly not very good. But it has the advantage of being quiet and suitable for small talk.

Fang Tang ordered a sandwich for himself, and took it upon himself to order an oversized steak for Tangshan.

Tang Shan is so big, he looks like he is flowing in behavior and language, but he is actually a dirt bun, he has never eaten Western food, and he has never used a knife and fork.

This time, when faced with the steak for the first time, it was a bit of a chicken hand and duck foot, fiddling the huge piece of medium-rare beef like a fish swimming around. Sliding from left to right, and from right to left, you can't even it.

I finally cut off a piece, but I didn't dare to put it in my mouth. Because there is a lot of blood left in the middle. And Tang Shan's life fainted when he saw blood. He reacted quickly, and quickly buried the bloody side in the black pepper juice so that he didn't faint.

In short, just such a steak made him more embarrassed than when he killed the first pig in his butcher's career.

Fang Tang was eating and laughing on the other side. Tang Shan is also a real person, he didn't find that Fang Tang was deliberately playing tricks on him, and he stupidly stopped the knife and fork and cared about others:

"Didn't you go hungry all day? Just order such a small piece of cake? Don't be polite to me. ”

Fang Tang was a little moved when he saw that he hadn't eaten a piece of meat for a long time, and he cared about himself in turn. She is usually not a person who is easily moved, just because she has seen too many men, the threshold for moving is much higher than that of ordinary girls.

Today, because of the loss of love first, although he is smiling, he is actually depressed, so when he encounters a little warmth, he is immediately inexplicably moved. I also forgot to correct the other party, it was not a cake but a sandwich.

Fang Tang smiled:

"This piece is enough, I lose weight."

Tang Shan put down his knife and fork and began to teach her a lesson:

"What kind of fat to lose? Look at you, although you have grown so tall, you can remove the skin and bones from the bottom to the bottom, and the remaining meat is estimated to be less than twenty catties. If you don't eat a little more, you'll be malnourished. ”

This is the typical butcher's language. Because when the pig is killed, it will be estimated how much fat, lean meat and pork belly are left after the belt bones are removed.

But when he heard these words in Fang Tang's ears, he felt very fresh. In the past, although there were boys who cared about her food, drink and nutrition, no one had ever said humor so down-to-earth. So she leaned back and laughed again.

Fang Tang laughed before taking a breath and retorted:

"The girl is not a pig, why do you need so much meat on her?"

Tang Shan couldn't settle the steak anyway, so he simply stopped picking up the knife and fork and was busy working, and changed to fighting unrelentingly:

"It has to have some meat. Of course, it can't be too fat, it must be fat but not greasy, so that it can feel. ”

The second half of the sentence is a phrase learned from Chen Yusheng, and Tang Shan actually doesn't understand what "fat but not greasy" feels like. I don't know that men and women openly say this kind of thing, and the meaning of provocative * is quite strong.

Fang Tang laughed again, and after laughing for a round, he lowered his voice and said:

"This is a public place, don't talk so hooligan, okay?"

Tang Shan was stunned for a moment, and then muttered:

"That's what it was. Think about it, who wants to sleep with a washboard every day? ”

Such a metaphor sounds even more hooligan. If other girls hear it, it's okay in private, but in public, they will feel more or less violated, and even if they won't walk away, they will blush and bow their heads silently.

But Fang Tang can understand Tangshan. She knew that he didn't mean to be a hooligan, but that he had never experienced a woman, and he didn't know how to speak. When she heard it in her ears, she felt that Tang Shan was very interesting, at least it could make her feel a little more relaxed.

But she was a girl, and it was not easy to keep talking about this topic, so she changed the topic and asked Tang Shan:

"Hey, let's talk about you, I haven't seen you for two years, what are you doing?"

Tang Shan replied solemnly:

"I'm a killer. In the past two years, I went to the countryside to engage in criminal activities, and I was afraid that it would affect you, so I didn't go to look for you. ”

This is the true language model of Tangshan. The butcher and the pig killer were both difficult to say in front of the beautiful woman, so they said it in another word. If the other party can understand, it should be the truth, and if it can't be understood, it should be considered humor.

Fang Tang completely regarded this as a word to make her happy, and laughed so much that he almost spit out the milk tea he had just drunk in his mouth.

Fang Tang asked with a smile:

"So have you washed your hands now?"

Tang Shan looked helpless:

"Not yet. People are in the rivers and lakes, and they can't help themselves. ”

Fang Tang smiled:

"Then I'll have to get away from you. It's not a good thing to be with a killer. ”

Tang Shan looked anxious:

"Don't. Finally, I had a beautiful woman to eat with me, and I couldn't spoil the mood because of professional problems. So, as long as you don't leave, I can wash my hands right away. ”

Fang Tang laughed:

"Don't blow it up. I see you swinging around the street with a bag on your back, how do you look like a killer? It's just a bum. ”

Tang Shan looked mysterious:

"Look, the layman, right? Wandering around is a killer's profession. As a qualified killer, you have to take a shot to change places, got it? ”

Fang Tang smiled:

"No matter how I look at it, you committed a peachy case and were kicked out by your girlfriend. Homeless, right? ”

There is a temptation in this statement. Although she felt that Tang Shan had little experience in getting along with girls, seeing that he was not bad looking and talking so funny, it seemed unlikely that he would not have a girlfriend.

Tang Shan finally couldn't help laughing, and then told the truth:

"I don't have a girlfriend. I used to live at a friend's house, but after a few quarrels with him today, I threw the door out in a fit of anger. I didn't expect to meet you as soon as I went on the street, do you think it's providence? ”

As he spoke, Fang Tang had already finished eating the sandwich, only to find that the steak on Tangshan noodles had not moved at all. Asked:

"Why don't you just say you don't eat it, don't you like steak?"

Tang Shan was embarrassed to say that he fainted blood, and the steak was only medium-rare, and it was full of blood; And he didn't know how to use a knife and fork, and the steak was as slippery as a live fish under his hands. He laughed and said:

"I can't eat because I'm full just looking at you."

Fang Tang was stunned:

"What do you mean? Can I still fill my stomach? ”

Tang Shan stared at her face and said:

"It's beautiful."

Fang Tang laughed. The depression caused by the loss of love on this day has dissipated without a trace.

After settling the bill, the two walked out of the door of the restaurant, a little reluctant to each other. Tang Shan searched for dry intestines, and couldn't think of a suitable reason to stay with Fang Tang for a while.

Fang Tang was a little more generous in the end, not like Tangshan, and leaned on the door frame to suggest to him:

"If you don't have anywhere to go for a while, you might as well stay at my house. The room was empty anyway. If you live in it, not only will it increase your popularity, but I will also be able to collect your rent every month and have more pocket money on you. ”

Tang Shan sneered:

"Two years ago, I ran away in arrears of rent, and you said that your mother scolded me for two years. When you see me again this time, you might chop me into meat sauce in a fit of rage. ”

Fang Tang smiled:

"Don't worry, my mother scolded and scolded, just a mouth-to-mouth addiction, in fact, severe face blindness, after two years, she must not remember you."

Tang Shan saw that she was so gracious, and he couldn't refuse in his heart. Then the two walked side by side towards Fang Tang's house together.

What Tang Shan didn't know was that while the two of them were eating and chatting, there had been a guy with red hair outside the restaurant, sneakily watching his every move. Seeing them leave together at this moment, this man followed closely behind not far behind, and called for instructions:

"That kid is out, do you want to find an alley where no one is there and arrest him to see you?"

The other end of the line instructed:

"Don't startle the snake. Follow him and figure out where he is staying. ”