Perhaps due to a professional atmosphere, the atmosphere in the courtroom is generally dreary. Whether it is a court meeting or a court meeting, whether it is a professional judge meeting or a trial committee meeting, these various meetings either make people restless or drowsy.

Only the host of the meeting must be full of spirit, because the success of the meeting is not only a reflection of its organizational ability, but also a demonstration of its professional level. Therefore, the moderator must concentrate on the whole meeting, and not be distracted and criticized by the colleagues who attend the meeting.

Practice has proved that whether you want to or not, meetings are the most common communication methods that human beings can think of, and they are also the most legitimate and reasonable way to meet the needs of decision-making procedures. Therefore, both the social organizations at the bottom and the leading institutions at the top are accustomed to holding various forms of meetings and are never tired of it.

Because the meeting has the function of brainstorming and jointly solving problems and crises, to a certain extent, through the collision of opinions, impacting thinking, stimulating brainpower, and finding new ideas and new methods to solve problems, there will always be unexpected effects. However, the judges' interest in case analysis meetings is not great, and many of them are just a formality, and there are very few that can really solve practical problems.

Some cases are discussed and discussed, and in the end, the undertaker has to find a way to deal with it himself, and if something goes wrong, the undertaker can only be responsible for himself, and it is a lifelong responsibility system. In some of the more difficult cases, it is not possible to form a majority opinion at the case analysis discussion meeting, so it can only be submitted to the adjudication committee for discussion, and finally, the adjudication committee will make a judgment according to the majority opinion. In the unlikely event that something goes wrong, because it was decided through collective discussion by the adjudication committee, the undertaker may not be liable or have his responsibility mitigated. Therefore, if the undertaker has a case that is not accurate or difficult to handle, submitting it to the adjudication committee for discussion has become a habitual way for judges to relieve pressure and avoid danger.

Vice President Wen, who presided over the meeting, was patient, and when everyone arrived at the case discussion room one after another, he reminded the latecomers with some dissatisfaction: "I hope you will try not to be late in the future, and if you have anything to arrange in advance, don't say that you can't leave when it's time for the meeting." Then he glanced at the judges who had arrived and sat on either side of the oval table: "Now for the meeting." ”

Vice President Wen went straight to the point: "Today's case discussion and analysis meeting is mainly to study and solve the problems encountered in several cases of marriage and family disputes. The problem is not complicated, but if we ignore the existence of these problems, if we cannot find a practical way to solve them, we may encounter the dilemma of the case being closed but the matter is over, which will increase the distress of the parties and even cause the conflict to intensify. Recently, there have been several cases of people being transferred to criminal sentences in other places, all of which were caused by inadequate work, which caused contradictions to intensify and finally tragedy. The higher courts have repeatedly demanded that the case be concluded and that there is no room for negligence in our work. We must prevent the occurrence of similar incidents, otherwise, it will cause passivity in our work and create contradictions and hidden dangers in society. Therefore, we must bring into play our subjective initiative through active justice and nip contradictions in the bud. ”

"Which one starts first?" Seeing that everyone was looking through the case file in their hands, Vice President Wen looked at Dongfang Siyi and said, "Or, President Dongfang, you can talk about it first." ”

Dongfang Siyi nodded and shook his head with a wry smile: "I'll say it first, every time I say it first, I'm used to it." As the saying goes, it is difficult for a clean official to decide family affairs, and I have been doing this for more than ten years. I would like to mention my personal request here by the way, hoping that the party group of the academy will consider my repeated applications, and it is time to change positions. I can't talk about the credit of these ten years, and I don't need to say the hard work, my hair is really white, my eyes are really spent, my heart has been broken by the vicissitudes of life, and things are getting more and more complicated. Fortunately, there are new things every day, and they are not boring, and a lot of new things have been added this month. Now I will share with you these seemingly ordinary, but contradictory divorce cases, although trivial, but easy to cause a catastrophe, I hope you have a little more compassion and can help me come up with ideas. ”

The first case reported by Dongfang Siyi was a "flash" case.

It is said to be a "flash separation" because the man and woman and the parents had a language conflict on the wedding night, and the groom and the bride and groom had not had time to enter the cave room, so they went back to their respective homes and looked for their mothers. The next morning, he cried and ran to the court to ask for a divorce, and coerced dozens of relatives and friends on both sides, rented a few buses, and rushed to the court one after the other.

The judges and clerks of the case filing division immediately called the judicial police team for urgent help. All the judicial police of the court department were dispatched urgently, and all the members of the civil court were urgently reinforced, forcibly separated the people of both sides into different areas, and sent patient and meticulous judges to do the work of mediation and persuasion.

Fortunately, most of the relatives of the men and women know each other, and they have just drunk the wedding wine together, so it is difficult to wipe off the face at once no matter what. Naturally, it is unlikely that they will immediately turn their faces and deny people and start their fists and feet, but it is inevitable that they will quarrel with each other. Because of the timely handling, there was no violent bloodshed, which can be regarded as a blessing. Otherwise, not only will the social impact be bad, but it will also affect the evaluation and punishment of court officers and police. The danger of violent clashes has been eliminated, and everyone is finally relieved.

The case was sent to the civil court, and after the dispute between the two parties temporarily subsided, before the formal trial, Dongfang Siyi notified the two parties to conduct out-of-court mediation. After more than two weeks of cooling, the parties finally calmed down, and the truth of the matter was finally clear.

It turned out that the ancestors of both men and women lived in the same village, and the bride and groom were still classmates from primary school to middle school, and some relatives and friends also had contacts with the two families.

To put it simply, some people are both relatives of the man and the woman, and some are classmates of both the man and the woman. The two families discussed in advance to jointly hold a wedding wine, and the two families also thought that it would save money, effort and worry by doing so, but they didn't expect that something went wrong when they split the accounts.

Needless to say, the relatives and friends on both sides are a little unclear, some people deliberately stated which account was recorded in the gift when giving the gift, and some people did not want to give two gifts, so they were deliberately vague, as long as they arrived at the venue to give a red envelope and drank the happy wine, even if everything was fine and waved goodbye with a smile.

The human account was originally a confused account, and the groom Cheng Youfa felt a little confused for a while, he was usually used to listening to his mother's opinions, and he never had any opinions, and his mother was a very shrewd person who never did anything to suffer. Cheng Youfa didn't say a word at this time, just waiting to listen to his mother's opinion. And Cheng Youfa's mother only said one sentence, one sentence was in place, there was no way out and no room for negotiation: "It's my son who marries a daughter-in-law, and it can only be regarded as our family." ”

The bride, Qian Abao, was immediately unhappy: "Aren't you bullying our family?" Qian Abao is an only child, which is the opposite of Cheng Youfa's personality. When she becomes an adult, her parents are willing to listen to her opinions on any big and small things in the family. Qian Abao's mother listened to her daughter's words, and was also very unhappy with Cheng You's way of making a fortune, so she counted her fingers on the spot and counted: "Take the third family as an example, last month, his second son got married, and my family sent a congratulatory gift of 500 yuan, and when his eldest son got married, my family also gave a congratulatory gift of 500 yuan, and the eldest son gave birth to a little grandson, and my family sent a congratulatory gift of 500 yuan." Now that our family Qian Abao is married, his family has also given a 500 yuan gift, and my family has already suffered a loss of 1,000 yuan. Besides, when the third child was eating and drinking, he was obviously sitting at the same table with our relatives, doesn't this mean that he came to our house to give gifts? ”

The third is Qian Abao's cousin, Cheng Youfa's cousin, Cheng Youfa's mother became popular when she heard what Qian Abao's mother said: "Youfa got married to the eldest of his cousin's family, and our family went to a 1,000 yuan congratulatory gift, and his eldest son also went to a 1,000 yuan congratulatory gift, and the second child got married and went to a 1,000 yuan congratulatory gift. ”

Qian Abao's mother was angry: "That's not what I said, the third family must think that your family is rich and don't care about these hundreds of yuan." As soon as these words came out, the relatives and friends of the two families who were watching on the side saw that there was no way to come out to play a round, and the Cheng family and the Qian family fought with red faces.

Cheng Youfa looked at his mother a little timidly at this time and said, "Either it's two families, two hundred and five for one family." When his mother heard this, she scolded angrily: "You don't have to worry about this, I have the final say." ”

Cheng Youfa was a little helpless, so he wanted to pull Qian Abao aside, but Qian Abao stretched out Cheng Youfa and pulled her hand and fell: "You are really a two hundred and five." Then he simply ripped off the wedding dress, took his parents' hands and said, "Mom and Dad, let's go home, I won't get married this time." This family is in the eye of money, let them count the money slowly, since they are not affectionate or reasonable, we have nothing to say to them, and I will not be able to live with such a family in the future. As he spoke, he shouted angrily at Cheng You: "See you in court tomorrow." ”

Dongfang Siyi said meaningfully: "On the surface, the cause of this divorce case cannot be simpler, and it is not complicated to deal with, but the big data survey tells us that similar cases are not an isolated case, nor are they a minority that can be ignored." I discussed this case with a netizen, who is a doctor of psychology and a senior psychological counselor, and she believes that this is another case of parents interfering excessively in their children's marriage and family. Only children born in the eighties and nineties can see their parents' hard-working hands everywhere from the choice of love and marriage partners to the lifestyle after starting a family, and these hard-working hands sometimes help them, and sometimes force them to the direction they don't want to go. ”

Dongfang Siyi continued: "This is a psychological issue worthy of attention, but it is not a legal issue, nor is it a moral issue. Yesterday, I made an appointment with the parents of both sides to communicate and exchange ideas together, and asked them to join me for a two-hour conversation with the counselor via video link, and the expert used several real cases to confirm his point of view, so that the parents of both sides realized their mistakes, and expressed their willingness to let Cheng Youfa and Qian Abao handle and plan their own lives. The problem was solved, the plaintiff has withdrawn the lawsuit, and the young couple has avoided the tragic ending of breaking up. ”

Dongfang Siyi paused, looked around at his colleagues with rich expressions, took a sip of water and moistened his throat, and continued: "Why do I mention this case, I just want to say that we are facing some similar problems, if we don't seriously explore the crux of the problem, we will get twice the result with half the effort, it will consume a lot of manpower and material resources, and waste judicial resources. I once suggested that a psychological counseling room should be set up in the courts, and that psychological counseling talents should be brought in to intervene in the trial process of similar cases, so as to provide good strategies for resolving various disputes by studying and dealing with the psychological problems of the parties. I have also learned that some courts in other places have similar departments, but they all focus on dealing with the psychological problems of the internal staff of the courts, and in fact, this aspect of work can be carried out in a more comprehensive way. In the past, when I asked this question, some people talked behind my back that Dongfang Siyi's daughter is a psychology graduate, and he is looking for a job for his daughter. Now I can tell you that Xiaonu has joined a large state-owned enterprise and is engaged in psychological counseling full-time. My suggestion is completely based on work, and there are no selfish distractions in this regard, and I hope you can understand it. I have also noticed that no matter what kind of meeting or what level of leadership it is, you can often hear them emphasizing in public that they must pay attention to doing a good job in the ideological work of the masses and be good at doing the ideological work of the masses. In fact, the so-called ideological work refers more often to psychological work, heart disease still needs to be cured by heart medicine, psychological intervention is active, but legal intervention can only be passive. Those of us who are engaged in legal work understand that the law is not omnipotent, and in real life, not all problems need to be solved through legal means, and not all problems can be solved by law, especially in our deep-rooted traditional culture, the law should be the last one to appear, the last one to make a move, no, and it should not be the one who rushes to the front. ”

If the occurrence of flash marriage and divorce is an example, it is caused by the individual's special personality and other purely individual reasons, and it can be judged that it is not very related to other factors in society. However, if it is a frequent case, it should be that there are problems in some aspects of our society, and they are not simply individual problems, but a wide range of problems that should attract the attention of the society.

Everyone talked about it, some said that they had read the post-80s and post-90s posts on the Internet about the reasons for divorce, some divorced because they grabbed the toilet in the morning, some spit in front of outsiders because the other party did not pay attention to the minimum hygiene requirements, and some divorced because they liked to pick their feet, and some divorced because they couldn't stand the other party's snoring, and there were indeed some absurd factors in the reasons for divorce after the 80s and 90s. The reason is that most of this generation grew up in the pampering of their parents and the care of the family, they have distinct personalities, lack the necessary tolerance and forbearance in married life, are easy to be impulsive when encountering problems, often find reasons from each other when encountering problems, and rarely reflect on their own behavior. In the face of problems in marriage and family, consider your own feelings relatively more and think less about each other. From some divorce cases, it can be seen that they do not give in to each other even for their other half, and they do not know that sometimes mutual humility can eliminate many conflicts. Some people will fight only over small things such as pots and pans, oil, salt, sauce and vinegar, and parents' shortcomings, until they get into divorce.

Dongfang Siyi smiled: "Every era has its own embarrassment, not just the so-called post-80s and post-90s. On the whole, this generation of young people has generally received a good cultural education, and the quality of the individual itself is also very high, and the living conditions are relatively good, whether it is for themselves, for others, or for the family, and for society, the expectations are very high and the requirements are also high. At the same time, they advocate freedom and have a more prominent personality, and there is no fuss about such and such absurd cases. It is only as a social problem that must be taken seriously, and it is related to the cultivation of social atmosphere and family responsibilities. If we only pursue individual freedom and lack the sense of responsibility, small problems will become big problems, and then become a social problem that we have to face. The revelation of this case to me is the problem of the parents of the post-80s and post-90s, who always think that their children have not grown up and cannot independently assume the responsibilities of the family and society, which is the psychological problem of the original family that I want to talk about. In the final analysis, it is still a problem of insufficient psychological preparation for marriage and family issues. ”

(Next Episode: Chapter 16: Troubles and Escapes)