-- I have walked on bridges in many places, seen clouds many times, drunk many kinds of wine, but I have loved only one man of the best age.

- Shen Congwen

――――――

When Chen Donghua's condition stabilized, it was almost a month later.

Qu Zhian pushed Chen Donghua, who was in a wheelchair, to bask outside in the sun.

His eyes were not to the point of blindness, but they were like a 700-degree myopic eye. Everything I looked at was blurry, and I couldn't see Qu Zhi'an's face clearly.

"I can't seem to tell the difference, An'an. I don't know if I can't forget you, or if I can't forget the memories. I can't remember how you wore your dress, how your eyebrows were bent, how your hair was coiled, and I wanted to meet you. But you're in front of me, I'm so useless. Chen Donghua touched Qu Zhi'an's face and said softly.

"I'm right here."

"An An, wait until I die. You must forget about me, just remember that I am a jerk, and the rest stop deceiving yourself.

I'm selfish, and I'm afraid of death. So I borrowed Jiang Jingmu's mouth to tell you, but I was afraid that you would be sad. Will you forget me? I don't want you to forget me. ”

Qu Zhian choked and shook his head vigorously. Let him feel her movements.

"I won't forget you, never. You're going to get better. ”

After another half a month, Chen Donghua died of a heart attack.

In front of Chen Donghua's tombstone, Qu Zhian hugged the happy flower and said:

"I'm most afraid that one day, I want to get married. But... You're gone. ”

I was worried that Qu Zhi'an would live alone, and I was afraid that she wouldn't be able to think about it, so I discussed with Mr. Yuan to let her come to live at home for a while.

Without waiting for her to refuse, we packed up her things. Got her into the room next to our bedroom.

Once, Qu Zhi'an was drinking wine in the room, holding a wine bottle and saying:

"The room was empty and the night was so dark. Life is also very confusing, and life is also tiring. ”

And I meditated in my heart, the words:

We shouldn't meet people who are too amazing, otherwise the red dust will be long, because if we don't forget, we will be lonely for a lifetime.

Chen Donghua is an unforgettable person.

All the tenderness of a man, he showed it to the fullest, and all of it was used on Qu Zhi'an.

It's as if even they are together is what he wants.

He seems to be so comfortable with everything, he seems to have counted all his life.

Then, find someone you like. Use all your energy to be good to her, and then she will be planted forever in this life.

Never—never forget him.

Qu Zhi'an asked me:

"Do you believe in God?"

"I don't believe it." I'm an atheist

"I believe it. But God looked down on all living beings, and still could not save me from suffering. ”

Qu Zhi'an, who was so decadent, gave up the opportunity to study in the UK.

Decadent for a whole year.

Until one morning, she came back from a brisk run, and turned back into the big girl.

Qu Zhi'an said:

"Chen Donghua has been gone for almost a year, and he has never entered my dream. Yesterday he came to see me,

He said, 'An'an, you have to live well.' Live for me and never hurt yourself. ’

See, how much he cares about me. I can't let him down. ”

In the evening, I saw the one posted by Qu Zhi'an on Weibo:

"You've been gone for almost a year, and all the time you spent in this period didn't have your spring, summer, autumn and winter. I can finally tell the story of your life and recall all my pain in the past year. I was finally able to take a lot of antidepressant pills while smiling and saying to Jiang Jingmu that I had already recovered. yes, yes, it's okay, I'm almost healed. I think it must be your blessing from heaven. I miss you so much, but I'm going to try to live. ”

On the day Qu Zhi'an moved back, I was very uneasy. I'm afraid she's using the fact that she's already done to shake up.

She smiled and patted me on the shoulder, pulled the suitcase and said:

"I don't know what I'm obsessed with, but I know I'm struggling with myself. Now, I won't. I'm going to study in the UK, and I want to live well. I won't forget him, but I'm about to start a new life. ”

When I was saying goodbye downstairs, Qu Zhi'an, who was about to get in the car, suddenly turned around and smiled at me.

She cut her hair short this morning, went to the collarbone, and put on beautiful makeup:

"Yasuki! I'm the day after tomorrow. It may not be back for a long time, so you have to take care of yourself. I don't want you to send me, I can't bear it. ”

My eyes were moist and I pulled my cardigan long coat.

The day she left for England, I woke up early. Breakfast was made and a whole table was set, which was very rich.

I sat upright at the dining table, looking at the greenery outside the window, and the message on my mobile phone was sent by Qu Zhi'an:

- Let's go, don't come to see me off, I'm already on the plane. I know you're lazy~ So I won't let you send it, I'm very reluctant to let you go. Also, thank you Jingmu, thank you and Yuan Shubai for taking in and accompanying you this year.

I picked up the bread and took a small bite. Let the tears flow. I chose not to send her because I was reluctant. The sixteen years of friendship with Qu Zhi'an is my most precious thing.

We said goodbye, don't cry. We need to be gracious and encourage each other.

In this sad moment, gracefully bless her, she will get better and better in this life.

I remembered that a few days ago, when I talked with her all night, I said:

"Our lives may be good or bad, but one day they will return to peace. If you write a book, it must be about pain. ”

"Love and breakdown are my own business."

"What?"

"I said, "The title of the book." It's called - love and collapse are our own business. Qu Zhian said

However, I chose the summer that came as scheduled with you.

In this world, although I have never had the opportunity to meet some people. But they are real beings, and there are people who are trying to live in all corners of the world.

And you are the season, and it's called summer.

During that time, many people persuaded her to want to open. No one really cared about her inner thoughts, blindly letting her escape from the nightmare, but did not experience the pain that she did not choose to forget.

Yes, love and collapse are your own business, what does it have to do with others?

Everyone laughs at you for deserving to be alone and desolate, but in fact, no one understands your affection.

The story of Qu Zhian and Chen Donghua can only be summed up in one sentence:

There are not many stories, once loved.

In the song "Remembering Yesterday's Book", it sings:

Remember yesterday's book and give a pen to the depths of loneliness

You say that this world is bitter,

Do you know that in the past hundred years, lovers can only accompany halfway

And you believe that in this world, at best, good times can be wasted

Not for Bodhi,

I've seen the wasteland,

It's more useless to love nothing.