This little book is a selection of all the articles I wrote about it after I recovered from depression.

Depression is a medical puzzle. As an outsider, it is very risky to touch such a highly specialized field. But I am still willing to record my thoughts and practices with the greatest enthusiasm and courage and dedicate them to the readers.

Three years ago, without warning, depression hit me unconsciously (to be precise, my diagnosis should have been "bipolar disorder depressive episode", or for the sake of convenience, "depression"). At that time, no one in me or around me knew about depression. The strange experience of being completely different from other diseases instantly knocked me down. Plagued by illness, I survived the course of the illness for half a year.

It was a dark time. It is ignorance, not disease, that constitutes a great fear of life. From the moment I recovered, out of curiosity and a sense of responsibility, I began to study depression to find out what was going on with the strange illness that had tormented me for half a year; And I want to share my experience with the same patients, so that they can avoid detours.

I remember vividly that the first article was written on August 28, 2012. The day before, the treatment had suddenly worked. Like a gust of wind, it blew away the thick dark clouds; There was hardly any transition, and I was healed. Stamina, vitality, thinking, and writing are all restored in an instant. That night, with indescribable joy, I briefly recorded the process under the title "Return from Hell".

Looking back, my study of depression was not in line with the course of the class. I first wanted to figure out why the treatment would suddenly take effect, so I studied the chemical structure, indications, adverse reactions, toxicology and pharmacology of the 11 drugs I had used, one by one; This extends to the pathological knowledge of depression; Read a large number of cases at the same time to increase perceptual awareness.

Later, when the fragments of knowledge gradually converged to form a "network", I found psychiatric textbooks from colleges and universities and studied them systematically. For a while, I even took advantage of Saturdays and Sundays to go to Dr. Jiang Tao's office in Anding Hospital to observe his patient treatment and gain practical experience.

The profession of a journalist has also provided me with convenience. I used depression as a topic for my reporting and interviewed them extensively. In this way, my personal experience, learning experience, and interview results were combined, and I began to write articles systematically.

After these articles spread, many patients and their families came to me for consultation. The myriad cases broadened my horizons, and I really realized why depression is a "specific" disease and why it is so difficult to treat.

Counseling patients makes me feel that value is realized. Giving roses to others and leaving fragrance in my hands is the highest joy, and it also provides me with the motivation and direction for further study. A lot of the time, I'm learning to answer patients' questions.

In the past three years, in addition to my own work, I have been studying, interviewing, and receiving consultations, and I have written these articles one after another. The Mongolian China Workers Publishing House did not abandon it and compiled it into a book. Psychiatry is vast and profound, and I know that I have only scratched the tip of the iceberg; I don't dare to boast, the only thing I can masturbate is that I am sincere and serious enough. These articles were originally written for themselves – or because of that, they would have some value.

I would like to thank Dr. Jiang Tao for treating me, the patients and families who consulted me, my relatives and friends, and the editors of China Workers Publishing House. Without their help, this little book would not have been possible.

is for the preface.