Before going to visit Li Yaling on campus, Zhang Weiping was already aware of Li Yaling's changes. At the beginning, he didn't think about how desperate the relationship between himself and Li Yaling was. He has always stood on his own position to excuse Li Yaling. He thought that she was very busy with her studies now, and she didn't have time to reply to him, or she didn't have more time to discuss love or love when she replied. Because Li Yaling's reply to him has changed from a few pages to a piece of paper, and sometimes a page is not enough. He still writes to her with the same enthusiasm as ever, and the letters are full of longing and love.

On the issue of love, Zhang Weiping's protracted insistence was exchanged for the other party's gradual indifference, he didn't believe that all this would be true. He always thought that this was temporary, and that everything would be fine when the two of them met one day.

When the reality was completely shattered, he had tears in his eyes that day, and he didn't know how he walked out of the gate of the School of Traditional Chinese Medicine. Everything is over, from ideal to reality, from hot to cold. Before he met Li Yaling, he had imagined many scenes when he reunited with her, but none of these scenes appeared. The reality in front of him was something he had never dreamed of.

It wasn't until he saw her that he finally woke up from his dream, and sometimes it took a long distance from dream to reason, sometimes it was just as thin as a layer of paper, and it was broken when he said it. Zhang Weiping knew that it was time to wake up from his dream, and Zhang Weiping in reality began to sort out the dreamlike relationship between him and Li Yaling little by little. He didn't feel real at all, everything before it was like it happened yesterday.

After the Spring Festival that year, he returned to the countryside from the city. He did not return directly to the commune, but came to the Fangmagou brigade and spent the night at the brigade headquarters. This is his former office--dormitory. The lights were on, the hand-cranked phone on the desk was still there, the loudspeaker was there, and everything was the same as before. But everything in front of me is no longer human.

Zhang Weiping was in reality, and he had a feeling of unreality. The words Li Yaling said are still echoing in her ears, her scent, and her real body. Fangmagou once left their figure of loving each other, and it is also a testimony of their love for each other.

That night, Zhang Weiping sat alone until late at night, after thinking about it, all this made him understand that Li Yaling had changed, and she was no longer the Li Yaling she used to be. The current Li Yaling is from the city, Li Yaling, a college student, and she is still the former Zhang Weiping.

Not only are people changing, but times are also changing.

Zhang Weiping's commune, like the situation in the whole country, is undergoing rapid changes. First of all, all the educated youths in the countryside returned to the city in one go, and they flocked to the city and went again. It's like they've never been here, just go, clean and clean, leaving no trace. The roadside slogan on the wall, "The vast world has a lot to do," has faded. In the past, these enthusiastic young people came to the countryside in response to the party's call, but now they have also left the countryside in response to the call. No one mentions it anymore if you take root or not, which means that if you take root, it's not necessarily an honorable thing.

Zhang Weiping has seen changes in himself from other people's fates. In the past, he was the youngest and most promising intellectual cadre in the county, and he was a typical example of the county taking root in the countryside. In those days, he was a hero wearing a red flower, and in those days full of dreamlike ideals, Zhang Weiping's soul was sublimated. His heart is strong, he had the idea of taking root in the countryside for a lifetime in his dream, and at that moment, he resolutely fell in love with Li Yaling, a young intellectual in the countryside.

Now everything is falling out, he still loves Li Yaling as always, but Li Yaling no longer loves him. The position he was in now began to become less embarrassing and less embarrassing. Among the cadres at the level of the Commune, he has gone from being a typical example to being insignificant. Those cadres who used to stand aside have returned to their posts, and the old cadres and new cadres are combined, and there are twenty or thirty people in a small commune. Zhang Weiping was drowned in the crowd, and he became lifeless.

In the past, the frequently held "tree model" or "meritorious service celebration" meetings have now become "rehabilitation" and "rectification of chaos" conferences; Zhang Weiping was the protagonist in the past, but now he is only a supporting role. No one invited him to the stage anymore, he could only sit under the stage. At a county meeting, the former "Director of the Office of Educated Youth" met him, and the two of them had the following conversation in the office of the "Office of Educated Youth":

The director took the initiative to say: Xiaozhang, the county sent you alone without going back to the city. I'm almost left alone for you in this "Educated Youth Office" now.

Zhang Weiping looked at the director of the Educated Youth Office, the director was enthusiastic about him before, and when he looked at him, his eyes were full of expectations and longing, but now, there is a kind of helplessness and avoidance. The director has clearly told him that the reason why this "Educated Youth Office" is still being retained is entirely for Zhang Weiping.

In the past, the "Educated Youth Office" in the city had long been a "door". Zhang Weiping misses those times full of ideals and dreams in the past, and the "Educated Youth Office" at that time was the home of these young intellectuals who joined the queue. The home now no longer exists, only an empty shell remains, and the director has no place in this shell.

Even if the director of the Educated Youth Office didn't tell him these words, Zhang Weiping had already realized his position, and he felt a kind of helplessness for this kind of ups and downs.

But he still said: What if I don't go?

The director smiled bitterly and said: Whether you go or not, I, the director, will come to an end. After this county party committee meeting, you may not be able to find the original "Educated Youth Office".

Zhang Weiping also smiled bitterly.

The director said helplessly: Xiao Zhang, you have also seen the situation in front of you, let's go back to the city, while the old man has not yet retired, find a good job, and start all over again. You're young, and there's still time for everything.

Zhang Weiping lowered his head and smiled bitterly again. The director has already said that he has reached home, his road to the countryside has come to an end, and it doesn't matter whether he persists or not. When he came to the countryside, he wanted to realize his lofty ideals, and his ideal was: the sky is high and the birds can fly, and the sea is wide and the fish can leap. At that time, the sky in the countryside was blue in his eyes, and the earth was vast. Everything has changed dramatically now. The sky is still the same sky, the earth is still the same earth, but the man is not that person anymore.

Sure enough, after that county meeting, there was a change in the leadership from the county to the commune. The old secretary of the county party committee, who had been standing on the sidelines, returned to work, and the commune made adjustments. Zhang Weiping was reassigned to a general cadre, and he did not have a clear position for his temporary work, but was asked to cooperate with the women's director in grasping the family planning work of the whole commune. For example, "condoms", "upper rings", "lower rings", "sterilizations" and so on.

Everything in reality is very different from Zhang Weiping's ideals. There is no place for him in the countryside anymore. At the same time, Zhang Weiping has also become mature in rural life, and he is no longer the little boy who wanted to go to Vietnam to fight in Vietnam eight years ago. He is an adult, and he still has ideals in his arms, but he is much more pragmatic than before. Zhang Weiping, who grew up in reality, realized that there would be no way out for his future life in the countryside. Not to mention ideals, he is not sure whether the family planning work he is currently responsible for can be maintained.

Zhang Weiping, the former rooted pacesetter, decided to return to the city, just as he came quietly, and he went quietly again this time when he returned to the city. When going through the formalities of returning to the city, he did not encounter any resistance, the letter that should be opened, the handover of the handover, everything was over.

When he left the countryside, he returned to Fangmagou, his father's hometown and his second hometown. In the past few years of rural life, he has spent most of his time here, leaving traces of his youth and love here. He stood by the Xida River, watched the flowing water slowly passing in the river, and shed a line of silent tears.

A bus to the city drove by, Zhang Weiping waved his hand, and the long-distance bus stopped. Without looking back, he got on the bus, and the bus drove away. When Zhang Weiping came to the countryside, he was wearing a brand new military uniform, and now he is wearing an old white-washed military uniform and just left.

arrived at the county seat and then to the provincial capital, Zhang Weiping's figure once again blended into the sea of people in the city. His mannerisms and dress were already out of harmony with the atmosphere of the city.

When Zhang Weiping walked into the compound of the military region, he was stopped by the guards.

He said to the guards: I want to go home, this is my home.

The guards felt strange to Zhang Weiping, and he couldn't take out anything that could prove his identity. But he gave his home phone number.

The guards dutifully dialed the phone number at Deputy Commander Zhang's home.

The guard said, "Chief, is there a person named Zhang Weiping at the door who is your family?"

The answer is yes, Zhang Weiping successfully passed the gate and walked to his home. In the past eight years, he has come back several times, and the mentality at that time is different, he is just a passerby, coming in a hurry and leaving in a hurry. But now it was different, he came back and didn't leave, and this was his home again. The memories of my childhood came back vaguely, and the houses were still those houses, including the tall and growing trees, and the potholes on the road that had been crushed by cars, which were still the same as before. This is the home that gave birth to him and raised him. His eyes were moist, and he carried his luggage on his back, like a wanderer who had been away for many years, and came back after a walk.

Deputy Commander Zhang's family was having dinner, and when he came back, his mother added an extra pair of chopsticks to the table. Deputy Commander Zhang Lei was drinking two taels of "small soju" every night.

Deputy Commander Zhang was very indifferent to his son's departure and return, he asked his secretary to escort his son back to his hometown, and this time his son came back by himself. He silently pushed the wine from his cup to his son. The son raised his head and drank the wine dry, and then said, "Dad, I'm back."

The father did not speak, but looked at his son attentively. The son's mouth was bare-covered when he left, and now his mouth has a beard. The father seemed satisfied, and once again filled the glass. The son didn't say much, but drank as soon as he poured, and drank three glasses in a row.

The father finally took back the cup and said: Wei Ping, your kid has grown up, don't worry about me, you know how to go in the future. You have not spent eight years in the countryside in vain.

As soon as he mentioned the countryside, Zhang Weiping's eyes were moist again, and he was afraid that his father and mother would see his eyes, so he hurriedly lowered his head and buried his face in the bowl.

The father also said: Son, the road in the future depends on you, if you are a wreck, I will raise you, if you are a man, you will support me in the future.

When Zhang Weiping raised his head, he saw that his father's sideburns were full of gray hair.