It's been a few weeks since she saw Qin Wuji, and not seeing him has gradually become Yu Zipei's normal life, she has been submissive, used to missing him, and she doesn't say a word.

When they were having dinner with Mo Ren and God in "Little Paris", Qin Wuji and a few people came in, and as soon as they saw him Yu Zipei's stomach began to hurt, she knew that Mo Ren was paying attention to herself, and it was still easy for her face to change color. Qin Wuji also saw them and walked over. Yu Zipei greeted him warmly, and others did, and then they took their seats at a table next to them. God is worse than Mo Ren, staring at her unabashedly opposite Yu Zipei, but Yu Zipei is not a fuel-efficient lamp.

"What?" She asked.

"It's fine." He said.

The boiled dried shreds came up, and the people at this table immediately forgot about Qin Wuji, except for Yu Zipei.

After eating a meal for two hours, when they settled the account and got up to leave, Qin Wuji next to him got up to say goodbye to them, Yu Zipei lowered his head and took the bag with a wrong body, Qin Wuji was as agile as an underground worker, and said very softly in her ear: "Come in the evening." ”

Yu Zipei said goodbye to him and left.

At half past nine in the evening, Yu Zipei called him and said that she had passed, and he said that he would wait a little longer, it was still too early, and she entered a bar again and sat alone for an hour and a half. Ten minutes and eleven o'clock, his other girlfriend is not a night owl, she should have fallen asleep and will not harass him anymore. Yu Zipei got up to check out the bill and went out to take a taxi.

"What are you talking to them about, so lively." He asked.

"It's nothing, I forgot, nonsense."

"Mo Ren is your former boyfriend?"

"Who has so many mouths?"

"Look, I found it."

"Eight lifetimes ago, what is there to discover."

"Jealousy." He said.

Yu Zipei didn't speak, she never mentioned jealousy, he dared to mention it?

He felt Yu Zipei's silence, suddenly changed his expression, looked at her, and said softly, "Why don't you speak?" You're always silent now. ”

Yes, it's true, she became more and more silent in front of him, "doesn't like to talk", "good at bowing her head", this is the first thing he described Yu Zipei, and now it has become true again. Why? Because the love was too heavy, because there were so many things to say, she was talking to him all the time when she was alone, and those words became mountains and seas, and she didn't know which words to choose, she didn't know what she said in the short two or three hours she was with him to express herself truthfully and accurately, and the final result was silence, silence.

"Why do you keep arguing with me on the phone? Can't meet each other? ”

"Knowingly, you don't know why? I'm too busy. ”

He was smiling on the other end of the phone, and he liked my sharp teeth.

They don't talk anymore.

The silence is not his alone, but also his share, the radiant Qin Wuji is gone.

Ah Sha said that he went to the "Monkey King" by the sea to eat, and God said yes, yes. They all love the 5-year-old flower carving and yellow croaker there. At first, there were only seven or eight people, but then there were more and more people, and they changed from the hall to the private room, and the private room could not sit down and then changed to the hall, and they tossed back and forth a few times before they sat down, and the two heads were already hungry and ate two plates of fennel beans. There were probably no less than twenty people who went that day, and then they all drank too much.

Yu Zipei has never been mixed with the wine, the amount of wine is not good, the basket of beer and rice wine at the same time has been fighting with everyone, I don't know how to take a fancy to her, non-pulling and punching, Yu Zipei said that she really won't, everyone can testify, he said it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, "rock-paper-scissors" will always be it, Yu Zipei had to "rock-paper-scissors" with him. As a result, the shot was extraordinary, winning three in a row. Three glasses of rice wine stood up under the stomach basket, pulled out the rack, waved his long arms, and almost knocked off the broken glasses next to him. In the second battle, Yu Zipei won, and the basket scratched his head strangely and spit on his hand. Yu Zipei became excited, eager to try to say wild words to trick cats and dogs, which attracted a group of people who were not convinced, and they all showed their hands to "rock-paper-scissors" with her. Fifteen won her eleven, and Yu Zipei was still very powerful, but four cups of hot rice wine were poured into her stomach at once, and she suddenly fainted.

I can't remember the order of what happened later, it seems that a group of young female writers, some from the north and some from the south, some ugly female writers and some beautiful female writers, asked the men present to take off all their shirts, and many of them took them off, Mo Ren refused to live or die, saying that he would not let these women take advantage of him, unless they took off him. The two heads must not have been taken off, because he was sitting next to Yu Zipei, and Yu Zipei pulled him over as a pillow to sleep. Later, I don't know who opened the birthday cake on the side of the adjacent table and ate it, asked who ate it first, no one admitted it, and they all sent cream to their mouths, the two tables quarreled, this side was chaotic, God hugged the bust of Sun Wukong at the door of the restaurant and danced, and then the producer of a film in the sky made a big fuss with Ah Sha, Ah Crushed stinky cockroaches, and scolded the dead rat, so he began to smash cups and bottles, pushing and shoving, a mess, The big fierce man who couldn't fight Ah Broken snatched the bust of Sun Wukong from God's arms and threw it at Ah Zhao, but he didn't hit, Sun Wukong fell to the ground and shattered in half, and the basket stood on the table and began to recite aloud "If life deceives you", several girls applauded him, and then someone called 911, it must be the grandson of the restaurant, and then the police from the police station came, among them was a handsome guy, who was simply a policeman in an idol drama, and then double-headed Yu Zipei and the other two girls stuffed into a person's car, The man Yu Zipei didn't know, but he sent Yu Zipei home.

In the second half of the night, she woke up from the wine and called Shuangtou to ask what was wrong? He was having a late-night snack at the night market outside the Grand Palace. He said that they were all pulled to the police station by a police car, and the police asked Da Meng why he smashed the statue of Sun Wukong, and Da Meng said in surprise: "It turned out to be Sun Wukong, I thought it was a monster!" You must know that Sun Wukong will definitely not smash it! ”

The most divine is Zhang Hong, this literary editor who is said to have read more than 10,000 volumes, speaks softly, wears small glasses, and sticks his hair on his head as if he hasn't washed it for half a year. Yu Zipei said that he walked through the door next to him and turned right to the end, and he smiled and said, "I don't believe you, because you look like a rabbit." ”

What do you mean?

After the police recorded Zhang Hong's confession, he was completely sober, wiped his glasses and criticized the police, saying that there were too many typos and grammar problems, so could he pass it? The policeman was not angry, and accepted his advice and rewrote it.

God, Shuangtou and Mo Ren took on a series of police and bandits, and the producers definitely didn't know them, so they arranged for them to write in a hotel in the city center. Even if they are locked up in the mountains, they can find a place to play, let alone the city center. That hotel has become a meeting place for everyone, bustling, sent to usher, more than four weeks, two episodes were written, half an episode of the sky, Mo Ren Kuai, it was two episodes. The producers have basically been driven crazy by them. At that time, Yu Zipei was in a daze all day long, afraid of being alone, and ran to them to mix.

All serious topics about life, emotions, dreams, and principles can only lead to pessimism, sadness, and even despair in the end. They fell sideways to the room of the Changjin Hotel, sighing.

"Whoever started talking about life today is really finished!" God turned over and turned his ass to everyone.

"Him." Yu Zipei pointed at Mo Ren.

"Annoying." Double-headed said.

"It's not you who hooked me to say, who is to blame when you lit the fire yourself?"

"Blame you, blame you, blame you!" God roared.

"God has been a little abnormal lately?" Yu Zipei asked in a low voice.

"It's been a while."

Yu Zipei nodded.

A depressed person goes to other depressed people, and the final result can only be more depressed, and she can't show it in their depression.

At eleven o'clock in the evening, they got out of bed and called someone to go to the huge bar. It's boring, two men are arguing about something, the other few are talking about an actress named Lulu, and Liu Na's band is performing live, a glass of Gi

Yu Zipei was already drunk. She heard the two arguing men mention one word in their words—"jealousy." Eat one's heart out? This was not an important relationship for her, she was sad because Qin Wuji was not by her side, not because he was by another woman's side. There is a difference.

"Hey, hey, love someone, but not jealous, what does that mean?" Yu Zi pulled Mo Ren, who was offering his courtesy to the girl.

"It means that you don't love him at all."

"Nonsense!"

Mo Ren turned his head and ignored Yu Zipei.

Don't I love him? I hope so. Think about it, he is talking to other women, he looks at others with the same eyes as he looks at you, his hand is not holding your hand, "good boy", "little enemy", he calls everyone that! Uncomfortable? Isn't it uncomfortable? Yu Zipei thought.

At twelve fifteen, she rushed to the counter and dialed Qin Wuji's phone. The music was deafening, and she tried to overpower it, shouting into the microphone, "I want to see you!" ”

"Come on." On the other end of the phone, there was silence, and there was silence in his voice.

Twenty minutes later, she was able to leave the oversized one.

"It's good to see you, it's good to see you!" Yu Zipei grabbed him and smiled at him.

"Drinking too much?"

"Nope."

"I still said no, look at the blushing."

"I'm so red when I take a sip."

"Don't do this in the future, call so late, and shout on the phone, what if I have someone here?"

He said flatly, Yu Zipei was stunned.

He was talking about her, his tone was light, but he was reproaching her, reproaching her for not being sensible. She, an ignorant person, wanted to do this thousands of times, but only this time. She, a person who is so restrained, can be ignorant!

Don't do that, the slightest hesitation in your eyes will crush me, a little impatience, a little coldness will turn me to ashes. Are you going to tear my self-esteem to shreds? You won't be like this, you are a gentle lover, the most understanding and good person, don't you understand? If you don't understand, you just don't want to understand, you just don't love me anymore. Yu Zipei's psychological drama is wildly acted.

"Don't scare me, my back is cold."

What is he saying? Did I do something? Yu Zipei was very sad.

"I just want to see you."

"I know, there's fire in the backyard, there's fire in the front yard, and I can't just fall in love."

Yu Zipei sat there stunned, stupid.

He grabbed her hand and put it on his face and said, "It's hot." ”

She had to laugh too, panicked.

Sadness, a lot of sorrow, Yu Zipei can't sweep away the sorrow he left in his heart, it surrounds himself and lingers. She had fallen asleep in this great sorrow the previous night, and several times she had tried to get up and call him, but at last she had fallen asleep. The face in the mirror when I woke up in the morning was haggard and miserable because the sorrow of the night had corroded my sleep!

She went to see Shuangtou as promised, and Shuangtou asked her, "Why are you so sad?" ”

Why?

Many things are sad.

Love, you can't help but reach out to hold it, but when you hold it, it's already broken in your hand.

- If he doesn't love me anymore, I'll disappear from his presence. Yu Zipei decided.

"Love, that's a terrible thing, I'm too old to make a scandal."

In the past, he would definitely treat this kind of remark as a joke, but now he has a sad face, and he treats it as a serious remark, and Yu Zipei is uncomfortable for his expression, not for his words.

"That's why you can't be a more outstanding writer."

A trace of displeasure flashed across his face, but Yu Zipei decided to ignore him and continued: "Salinger is eighty years old, and he is still making scandals, you should have the spirit of life not to extinguish scandals, because you are such a person, and you can't be ashamed of it." Ambiguity and exhaustion can only hurt you and consume your talents! ”

"You're a little madman." He finally had a smile on his face.

"It's not." Yu Zipei said dejectedly, "I'm more afraid of scandals than you, I want to be decent too much, and if you are decent, you can't be outstanding, this is my problem." ”

"We have other things to do."

He looked thoughtfully into the distance, and there was no more look on his face that she loved.

They ate in silence, and Yu Zipei was surprised to find that she felt more sorry for him than for herself.

"I said I wouldn't blame you for whatever happened." Yu Zipei put his hand on his hand and took it away.

"It's ugly to have a face that has lost its courage." - Yu Zipei wrote this sentence in the notebook of that day.

She also thinks she is very ridiculous, blaming a person with a sense of reality for being timid and lacking the courage to make a scandal, and hoping that another person who is tireless in creating a scandal will mature and steady. Asking for the impossible from the impossible does not enjoy the possible from the probable. How can a life based on paradoxes not be ridiculous?

Perfect lover. He has almost everything he wants, only the passion to accept destruction, who can have such a passion?

Those weak men, men who can't do anything about the world, they are lonely, they are clean, they want to be open to themselves, you may have a deep affection for them, but you can't generate passion, they are too weak, and the weak will easily succumb to the stronger will, with this submission, there will be no brilliant flowers blooming when they hit. And those who are strong, they often lack the nerves of love, and their hearts beat for something else. Her perfect lover has the most fragile and strongest heart, without fragility, emotions will be rough and boring, and without toughness, vulnerability is just a tiresome child's trick.

"I really want to be loved beautifully." She made the same plea as Gu Cheng before she died.

"You are a connoisseur of love, not a lover." Mo Ren said so about me.

If the lover is a cold and unscrupulous eater, praising everything for being delicious, then Yu Zipei is indeed not, she can't be like Xu Moren, she can't be tempted by any cute quality, it's out of arrogance, she knows that arrogance is a sin in hell in God's precepts, and without this arrogance, how can she fight against this despicable and boring life?

It must be admitted that after she tried to discern her emotions, she found a striking resemblance between her and Moren. The only difference is that she has no talent for illusion, she can't create a lover for herself, and she can't collect beauty like a postage stamp. But isn't she asking for the same thing as him? Isn't it all a miracle of reality? Why are they never compatible with each other? She was reminded of Princess Artekh's collection of aphorisms – "The difference between two 'yes' may be greater than the difference between 'yes' and 'no'." ”

February 14, St. Valentine's Day.

Yu Zipei doesn't look forward to any Valentine's Day, all secular festivals are the most uncomfortable days for a lover. She has seen such descriptions in countless novels, needless to say. That day, she got up and took all the money from the family to buy clothes at "Paris Spring", and the children selling roses and the couples holding hands on the street looked annoying. She walked from store to store in the department store, carefully choosing, and tirelessly trying it on, not letting go of any piece of clothing that might suit her. From the afternoon until dark, there was nothing to see on the second and third floors, and she also turned around the men's clothing on the fourth floor, so she had to go down to the first floor.

On the first floor was the cosmetics counter, and the smell of various perfumes mixed together was dizzying, and she walked back and forth twice with nothing to buy, so she decided to do some market research to see what each brand had launched for the New Year. At this moment, she saw Mo Ren, who was standing by the cash register, stuffing the recovered change into his wallet, and a Dior blue and gold pocket hanging from his arm, which looked very ridiculous.

"Hey, Mo Ren!" Yu Zipei looked behind him and around him, and there were no beautiful girls following, "You're alone?" ”

"That's right."

"What are you doing?"

"Hey, buy a gift for Valentine's Day."

"So much?"

"Hey, there's a lot of people. The most unfortunate thing was that I had to send them one by one, and they all dragged me to spend the night together, and I didn't know what to do. ”

"What did you buy?"

"Hey, perfume, skincare." He added a "hi" to each sentence to express his helplessness.

"What kind of guy would buy skincare for a girl as a gift? I've never come across. ”

"Hey, me!"

"Do you remember what kind of skin each girl is? Are they oily or dry? ”

"Then how do I remember? I can only remember which one is more expensive, some girls are particular, you give her more expensive things. ”

"Then you can buy it quickly, do you want to help?"

"No, I don't. You're alone – shopping for clothes? He looked at Yuzi's shopping bag full of hands.

He looked at Yu Zipei with a torch, a person's Valentine's Day?

"Just like you, buy gifts." Yu Zipei said.

"Okay, then let's go our separate ways."

"Good. Byebye. ”

Yu Zipei walked away, looked at his watch and saw that it was already seven o'clock, and went to the underground fast food restaurant to eat a hamburger. She had already stepped onto the elevator, and Mo Ren rushed over again, stuffing a colorful pocket into my hand: "This is for you." ”

"Hey, it's really not necessary! Stay—"

"I didn't have any money before, and I didn't buy you any good things." He said that the hippie smile was very sincere.

Don't be like this, Yu Zipei felt that she was very fragile now, she couldn't stand it, and when she was in a daze, he said "Happy Valentine's Day" and turned around and ran.

It was a bottle of CD "poison", because Qin Wuji was used to not using perfume, let alone such a strong "poison"? It's a pity that he was kind.

Yu Zipei spent a night of waiting, alone, wearing a white linen shirt, very formal, the dress for the dinner, in the night, in the evening breeze, she knew that her face was bright and bright, ready to smile, and she ate dinner as a ritual.

When a person feels like this, her stomach hurts faintly, her hands and feet are numb and crispy, she forces herself to eat, fragrant rice, slices of southern milk lotus, watercress and raw fish, she eats hard. It was easy not to have any hope before nine o'clock, and from nine to ten o'clock, she was going to divide it into four stages, one stage at a time, and he said that his dinner had a ninety-year-old lady, and the old lady could not last that long, and should be able to finish before ten o'clock. What if he can't come? So what should she do? Should you act sensibly and tell him it's okay? Or force him to come, even if it's just to look at him. He used to drive long distances to see her, and if he didn't come, it meant that he didn't love her as much as he used to.

The first quarter of an hour passed, and the TV in the restaurant was a reading program, although the sound was very small, but there were subtitles, and you could watch it from afar. Yu Zipei had already drunk most of the cans of soup, and the woman at the table next to her who said that she couldn't achieve a big deal without ambition had already left, and even the foreigners who came later had already finished eating. The restaurant closes at ten o'clock, and if he doesn't call, where are he going to wait?

The second quarter of an hour also passed. "Do you still love me?" Yu Zipei wanted to ask him like this, she had never asked anyone like this, she always refused to be direct, maybe it was her problem. At nine-forty, the phone rang. His voice sounded vague and distant.

"It's just over, I'm not going."

"What's wrong?"

"It's almost time, it's time for me to go back."

She didn't say anything, not knowing what to say.

"I already had a cold, and the air conditioner in the restaurant broke down again, and it was so cold."

"If you're not feeling well, go back."

"It's so unenergetic, I want to be with you when I'm in good spirits."

"Where are you?"

"On the road, near Blue Willow."

"Oh, over there."

"Okay?"

"Ask me?"

"Yes, I ask you if you want to."

"I just wanted to see you."

"I'll see it tomorrow."

"Hmm. If you're sick, go back. ”

"What about you? Still eating? ”

"Well, I'm waiting for you."

"So? The more you learn, the worse you get. ”

"I'm telling the truth."

"Well, how are you tomorrow?"

"Okay, let's go back."

Yu Zipei felt that she had no choice, she had done her best, even if her love luck was good today, she wore her lucky color, she used various methods of divination like a superstitious fool, she took the initiative to call him according to what the cards said, she forced herself to say directly that she wanted to see him, she dressed up impeccably and changed at least five clothes, she waited patiently for a night. She felt that she was sad, she was afraid that the sadness would continue to intensify, and if it intensified, it would hurt very much, and she knew that it would cry and knock her down. Not to this extent, you're a hard-hearted water bottle. Yu Zipei said to herself.

Tomorrow they will still meet, in the company meeting, Yu Zipei can see him, but only from a distance. They have become out of reach.

The phone rang again, and she thought it was him who had changed his mind and turned around to look at her.

Of course not.

It was a phone call about writing the script, this phone saved her, restored her identity to reality, she tried to make her head move, answer all kinds of questions raised by the other party, ask all kinds of questions to the other party, the phone call was twenty minutes, in these twenty minutes she tried to talk as much as possible, very enthusiastic, she felt the blood flowing back to her heart little by little, the sadness was no longer aggravated, the trembling caused by the pain slowly subsided, okay, that's it, that's it......

Yu Zipei sat for a while, and by the time the waiter began to sweep the floor, the checkout was gone. She thought that perhaps the tacit understanding between them was gone, or that the good fortune that had always been together was gone, that they had loved each other, and that they were destined to be separated when it was gone.

Qin Wuji should be bored, he is simply tired of love, he feels that he has been entangled among women all his life, and he can't get out of it when he is almost fifty years old, it is really blocked. Seeing that all the lovely little girls finally took a sad face to him, he was fed up, and he wanted to choose the simplest and most comfortable way to end it all. Knowing why he refused to sleep with that girl in the first place, he knew this ending, he had experienced it countless times, a good girl, a quiet and docile little face, suddenly her eyes went crazy, and she became a resentful woman almost instantly, he didn't want to see this, but every time he saw this, he was really bored. It's not that he didn't think it was his problem, and he made an effort, but it was still the same. He knew his fate, and eventually he would leave each of them, but he would remember them, and each of them was a picture in his album for the lonely night to take out and look through, of course some of them were more and some of them were less, but this was only known to him, or after a long time, he couldn't remember which one he preferred. This girl this time, he remembered her only because of her willfulness, no one ever resisted him, only she had always refused to admit defeat to him, she loved him, he knew, but she still tried to maintain her dignity. She doesn't understand that love can't tolerate dignity. So, he doesn't want love anymore, he's old, he just wants to be dignified.

If he hadn't loved himself too much, his love would have been almost perfect. But there are always reasons of one kind or another that make love impossible. Yu Zipei felt that she didn't have such a quality either, so she didn't blame him. These two sane, common sense people, these two sophisticated people, may be doomed to lose each other.

I really want to be loved exquisitely, exquisiteness is not something that can be had wholeheartedly, the subtle touching thing about words and manners, a smile and a smile is talent, Qin Wuji has this talent, but if he wants to waste his talent, he can only let him waste it, after all, it is his own thing. Or, he's long been bored with the talent.