Secretary Lin's real name is Lin Wanyi, and she is a petite, delicate, beautiful and abnormal woman. When she was very young, others said that she would definitely have a future when she grew up, so her parents worked hard to cultivate her. However, always when she really grows up, she finds that she is not really happy. So she thinks that between her and happiness, there is something that belongs to fate, something that is destined to be unavoidable.

The first time I met Lim Kim Rong was at the airline ticket office in Bangkok. didn't buy a ticket for August 5th, Lin Wanyi was a little anxious. When she squeezed back through the window, she saw a little boy talking to another person with a fluttering eyebrow. Lin Wanyi's first impression was: his mouth is really big! And indignantly thought: What's the big deal? Isn't it just going to the United States? What is there to brag about?

On the ninth day, Lin Wanyi went to the airport to buy a temporary ticket and ran into him again. He asked Lin Wanyi, "Are you leaving?" Lin Wanyi said: "Go, say whatever you want." "In that summer, everyone who left that land had a feeling of rushing for their lives. So, they bought tickets together, it was first class, and they naturally sat together.

At that time, in Lin Wanyi's opinion, he was an inconspicuous little boy. She felt that the boys she had in her life were much better than him in all aspects. On the plane, she barely said anything to him. Although later, he told Lin Wanyi that when Lin Wanyi fell asleep, he put his arm on his chest.

When she arrived in New York, Lang Zhisong's friend went to the airport to pick her up. She knew that Lin Jinrong had no one to pick her up, and thought that everyone was coming to a foreign country for the first time, so they should try to help as much as possible, so she let him go to the man's house together. The next day, Lin Wanyi went to the "Johnson" station, and Lin Jinrong went to see her off. Before getting into the car, she shook his hand politely and said, "I'll get in touch later." Perhaps it was fate, but the moment she stepped into the car, she looked back. It was this hope that brought her disaster: the most painful and lost love of her life so far.

At that time, Lin Jinrong stood there, tired, dazed, and helpless. At the bottom of Lin Wanyi's heart, there was a trace of something twitching slightly, and she was suddenly full of love and sadness. She really wanted to get out of the car, go back, and hug him tightly. However, she didn't. But she knew that she would never forget this little boy in this life, and there was a hazy thing that quietly arose. Lin Wanyi felt that something unusual might happen between her and this little boy.

Johnson Station is in a building on 42nd Street. However, for some reason, in Lin Wanyi's memory, there is always such a square gray and blue sky, a round of white sun. Lin Jinrong looked thin and small, as overwhelmed as a child who had been separated from his mother.

After everything was arranged, she wrote him a text message, and his reply was not long. The time she really remembered him was autumn.

Lin Wanyi was surprised, it was the first time she came to a foreign country, how could there be such an autumn!

How red the maple leaves are, shockingly red. Lin Wanyi was worried that they would drip blood at any time. She felt terrified. The burning of the mountains and fields is a kind of beauty that is too crazy and too desperate. Lin Wanyi was deeply moved, and she seemed to be able to realize what kind of enthusiasm and persistence. Every autumn leaf has a dream that is amazingly beautiful, otherwise, they would not show off themselves so unreservedly. Lin Wanyi knew that they wouldn't last long, no.

The storm also came unexpectedly early. In less than two days, all the red leaves withered, and in the muddy water, the footsteps of pedestrians ran over mercilessly, and Lin Wanyi felt that the red leaves were crying and crying. At that time, she felt a kind of loneliness even more deeply, a kind of loneliness that had been hidden deep in her heart for a long time, but could not be expressed. The freshness and excitement of the first time she had come disappeared, and a kind of extreme boredom and loneliness and despair seized her. Every day as she walks through the forest, she just wants to cry out loud or go inside, into the depths of the forest...... Because of loneliness, I always want to escape something, far away. But she couldn't escape, she couldn't. Sorrow enveloped her, melancholy chased her. The days are getting cold and dark day by day, and what Lin Wanyi looks forward to every day is that the night will come. At night, in the dark, she desperately misses him, and when she misses, she bites the horn and cries silently.

She thinks of Lang Zhisong, and thinks that she is newly married and is another husband, even though that marriage is the product of a certain situation. Remembering the airport, she just shook his hand, said "I'm leaving", and then entered the departure hall with tears streaming down her face. It's not because of leaving Lang Zhisong, it's because of parting, parting always breaks her heart. Later, Lang told her that he waited outside the airport until he couldn't see the plane after takeoff. Since then, he has been in despair...... Lin Wanyi never remembered when Lang Zhisong was depressed. Lang Zhisong, I'm waiting for you to come, I must fulfill my promise and be a good wife for you. I want to make you happy and happy because of me, and I vow to do it. Without Lang Zhisong, Lin Wanyi would not have been able to spend the painful days after breaking up with her first boyfriend, the well-known campus poet a few years ago, let alone come to the United States. She told herself that she would repay him and pay the price with her life. Of course, intellectually she knew that she would never be able to repay some debts.

However, what kind of power reminded her of Lin Jinrong and the little boy. She thought she should invite him to come and see such a bleak autumn, and there was no such palpitating scenery in a big city like New York. She wrote a letter, and he replied that he was too busy to come, but in her heart, an expectation arose inexplicably. What to expect, she didn't know.

At that time, she wrote a poem:

I don't have your singing voice in my dreams

What a deep day

I can't open it

……

What kind of star is it?

We miss the snowy night together

You sing a light ballad

Pull the warm snow closer to the mountainside

……

Lin Wanyi didn't know who this poem was written for. But she vaguely felt that there would be or would be a winter night, when the soft white snow covered the earth lightly, and the leafless branches of the trees were densely turned, and the crescent moon was held up affectionately, and the sky was lilac...... Under the light, Lin Wanyi listened to him sing, without lyrics...... His face was so melancholy, and his eyes were so sad...... She gently held his head, kissed his black hair, and said softly, "Oh, oh, my child, my poor eldest child......", Lin Wanyi didn't know who he was. Lin Wanyi's imagination is quite rich, she often makes up fairy tales for herself, and she is often immersed in such fairy tales and can't extricate herself.

But Lin Wanyi was waiting. Every day, she seemed accustomed to the futile search of what she wanted to see, and her heart was accustomed to the painful struggle. In this faraway place, she didn't know why she was looking forward to it, and she didn't know what she was looking for. She should not have the time and leisure to look forward and find. She knew that because of this search and expectation, she would always lose something, and there would always be something to leave her. She's going to have to pay for it.

I don't know when she began to look forward to seeing Lin Jinrong. She weaved many, beautiful stories between her and him. She was excited to look forward to it. It would be a gentle and peaceful dream.

It wasn't until now that Lin Wanyi understood that she only got pain and loss from this love, and the only reason was that before the story began, she had depicted it with such ideals and such gorgeous colors. In the picture, it's just the weak boy standing in the white sun. Actually, Lin Jinrong, he, is a ...... That's the ...... Little man. After learning from the pain, Lin Wanyi was desperate to find out that she had been wrong from the beginning, and then she was wrong again and again! It was so wrong - there was nothing to undo. Lin Wanyi lost herself, lost everything she had.

It all started that Christmas. Lin Wanyi believes that in her later life, the only holiday that she can't forget is this Christmas.

Before the final exam, she called him and said that she was going to his place during winter break. Since then, she has been very excited. She hadn't slept for days and couldn't eat. The night before she went, she sat all night and finished reading two of Qiong Yao's novels. She felt ridiculous for herself, but she couldn't control it. She "designed" the plot, and it would be a romantic drama that matched her imagination, romantic and warm, perhaps, crazy.

When they met, he asked, "You're here?" Lin Wanyi just smiled slightly.

Lin Wanyi felt a little uneasy. Her heart was beating in a panic, and there was a faint sense of excitement. She told him that he didn't want to eat anything, just to sleep. He went to someone else's room to watch TV. She couldn't sleep. She put a small card on his desk, on the card was a red maple leaf, and there was a sentence: "Give you a maple leaf, a piece of acacia, have you forgotten me for a long, long time......" Lin Wanyi wrote on it: "I hope you like this card." …… Don't care. I'm an extreme simplistic person. ”

He came back a few times, and Lin Wanyi always pretended to be asleep. But her heart kept beating. When he came back from watching TV at one o'clock in the evening, she was leaning against the bedside reading a novel. They talked for a long time. He sat first on the chair across from the bed, then on the bed. There was something in his eyes that made Lin Wanyi's heart skip a beat. Lin Wanyi didn't know if that was what she was expecting.

At three o'clock, he told Lin Wanyi: "It's time to sleep." Lin Wanyi lay down obediently. He said, "I'm going to take a shower." Lin Wanyi thought he would go to someone else's room to sleep, so she still didn't realize what was really going to happen until he turned off all the lights, leaving only a dim desk lamp.

He walked over to the bed, sat down, and said, "Is that okay?" Lin Wanyi's head unconsciously moved inward on the pillow. It was this move that gave Lin Wanyi a chance to keep getting hurt from then on...... Lin Wanyi still doesn't understand why she is like this...... Thus allowing himself to leave him defenseless. Is that all she was looking forward to? Is that how she believed him? This may be one of the "plots" she imagined, but it shouldn't be so fast.

No, no, as soon as she thought of the little lonely boy in the white sun under the gray blue sky, Lin Wanyi knew that what she really hoped for in her heart was not these. It was a dream as hazy and gentle as the morning mist, a violin song in the moonlight, and a mature and quiet acquaintance like autumn leaves in the autumn day...... It's not such a blind date, it's like this...... A blind date like a bloody fight. For this kind of blind date, she paid herself in.

Lin Wanyi knows that in her heart, she will not be relieved for the rest of her life...... How can she afford it!

２

The most unbearable thing for Lin Wanyi is the "quack" of crows outside the window in the morning, so sharp and stingy

Ear. At four or five o'clock, when the sky began to turn white, they called out. Lin Wanyi always closes the window tightly,

However, she is too sensitive to the crows' calls and is always woken up by them. Her heart was beating "suddenly",

Anger burned in her chest, gritting her teeth, she wrapped herself tightly from head to toe with the quilt, but

It's still that kind of sound. Knowing this, she would rather have no creek, no woods, and no lawn outside the house!

She was very aggrieved and felt that she was wandering alone, why should she have so much suffering. Even a few crows,

Or put her to death. It's very peaceful, except for the early morning birdsong, there is no noise like in the big cities

Hustle. Lin Wanyi didn't understand that when she was in New York, at Lin Jinrong's place, there was a hospital behind the window, and there was an ambulance from time to time

Howling", in the corridor, there are often loud people talking and laughing, and the music next door is earth-shattering...... But she was able to sleep soundly

Target. Perhaps, with a man's arm and his breathing, my heart can be much more steady and calm

Many, less so much fear? When he wakes up from a nightmare, he is frightened and will involuntarily snuggle into his arms

Go, he was still asleep, but his hand caressed Lin Wanyi's back...... What kind of security is this? Previously, Ran

Qing believes that she is a strong woman, because she has endured many sorrows that she cannot get. to the United States,

Only then did she realize that she was so weak and incompetent!

Before, someone asked her: "Lin Wanyi, is there a time when you need a man?" ”

She honestly said, "Yes." When I was lonely and lonely, I hoped that someone would be with me. Even if we can't know each other,

Under the lonely lamp, you can have a pair of eyes that look at yourself. Maybe because I'm a woman, I'm only half of my world. But

I can live without a man, and I believe that I have strong enough nerves to withstand what life has imposed on me

Cut unfortunately. ”

However, now she finds that she desperately needs a man, a kind of dependence. Many, many times,

She was as helpless as a lamb waiting to be slaughtered. The more difficult it became, the more she wanted to escape. She tried to run away as much as she could. She often

Thought, if there was a man around, she could hide under his arms like a bird. Even though he's not that strong

Powerful, but just because he was a man, he had to defend herself against everything outside. Lin Wanyi once thought that it was not

A very traditional Thai woman, she once declared that she would never let go in any aspect of the confrontation with men

Abandon your independence. But in the United States, in the country that is considered to give people the most independent power, she is

I willingly want to give up on myself, I just want to become a vine and climb the tree. Perhaps, when at home, she

Familiar with that kind of culture, swimming in it, like a fish in water, she is familiar with that kind of interpersonal relationship and lifestyle, for all things

There are setbacks, but she has a certain ability to resist. Over here. Except for the English alphabet, everything is almost complete

New, she is like a weaned baby who is suddenly thrown into a strange place, and must be self-conscious

I have searched for food. This discomfort deeply changed her original personality, and she went from confused and anxious to decadent and depressed.

Almost complete loss of self-confidence. It would be much better if there was a man around, she used to think. But she too

I can't tell what kind of man I should have.

Lin Wanyi met Li Baobao on her first day at Cornell. Li Baobao went to pick her up at the "Johnson" station, it was Tai

Arranged by the National Student Association. At that time, Lin Wanyi didn't remember him until the welcome party of the sorority for a month,

She learned his name. She had just finished dancing a tune like crazy. When she was at home, she never went to the dance floor,

It's just that I'm bored, and I'll twist around the room a few times. But that night she just wanted to jump, to jump as hard as she could, to be on the ground

Tumbling over and crawling, wanting to scream in pain. She closed her eyes, letting the squeaky emotion in her heart squeaze

dominates her hands and feet. She writhed with a tall man, and knew she must be a profligate

Uninhibited look. As soon as the music ended, she was sweating and panting, and she collapsed on her chair. this

At that time, he came over with two glasses of drinks and handed one to Lin Wanyi: "You're a crazy girl, aren't you?" ”

Lin Wanyi smiled and was noncommittal.

"Ben thought you were a quiet girl." He took a sip of his drink.

"Why? You didn't know me before," Lin Wanyi felt like she had never seen him before.

"What!" He yelled, "You don't know me! Who picked you up? ”

"I really can't remember, really, I'm sorry," Lin Wanyi really couldn't remember, "I just remember yes."

A little boy, I forgot his name and looks. ”

Lin Wanyi waited at the station for a long time that day, and later, the boy came. got into the car, he said his name,

asked Lin Wanyi again. But then she forgot about it.

"But I remember you, wearing a red T-shirt, beige shorts, and white sneakers, don't you? Talking to you on the way,

You just nod and smile, and when you enter the town, you exclaim in surprise and joy: 'Oh my mother! This is one

A fairy tale world! At that time, I laughed and said, 'Lin Wanyi, in two days, you will feel that this is hell.'

Finish. 'Remember?' ”

Lin Wanyi blinked, looking desperately reminiscing. In the end, he shook his head: "I don't remember anything."

Come on, really. Perhaps, it was only a day after I got off the plane, and the jet lag had not yet changed, and my head was confused.

Like dreaming. Lin Wanyi said pitifully.

"Okay, if you don't remember, you don't remember, it seems that I'm not attractive enough, am I?" He waved his hand,

said very generously, "My name is Li Baobao, and I am not allowed to forget it in the future." ”

"But I obviously remember being a little boy," Lin Wanyi said very seriously.

"What kind of psychology do you have? Like to underestimate men? I'm 1.83 meters tall and weigh 17.7 meters

Little boys? ”

But Lin Wanyi does remember being a little boy. She was bewildered.

After the ball, Li Bao escorted her home.

Crows crowed one after another outside the window. It's like a dull saw, tearing her up again and again

Nerve. She wanted them all to be dead.

"God, spare me!" She rolled around, her hair piled up on the pillow, tears streaming down her face,

"I'm going to die. They're going to kill me. She bit her lip to keep herself from crying.

Lin Wanyi was sad to find that she was so helpless and incompetent. "Nobody came to save me, no," she was tired

Tired. "Who's going to save me?" She tried to sit up, but her head was dizzy and she had to lie down again.

Through the blinds, Lin Wanyi knew that the sun had risen. Strangely, at this time, the crows are no more

Call. Yesterday afternoon, on the lawn of the campus, Lin Wanyi saw two crows standing there fixedly, their heads raised

High, look to the west. The pitch-black feathers have a mysterious, dignified taste. Just because of this black,

Lin Wanyi didn't understand how they could have such a sound! She felt that they should be the most silent.

"Lang Zhisong, forgive me," she fell asleep in a daze, but she also heard everyone else get up. "I didn't

Way. When she thought of Lang Zhisong, her honest and concerned eyes, and her expectations, Lin Wanyi felt

I am so ashamed, so guilty, I feel that my heart is heavy. Even though she may have never loved him, his love was not what she wanted

look, but he is indeed for her good, and hopes that she is good.

But sometimes she really wanted to fall. Abandon everything and wander around. Maybe you don't have enough clothes or food, but,

Just fall - no more dreaming, no more pursuit, no more grasping for that sorrow that you can't want. Thoroughly

The bottom ground, in the heart, outside the body, exiles itself completely.

She knew that she would hurt Lang Zhisong deeply, although she was so reluctant in her heart!

Lin Wanyi can't stand loneliness, let alone loneliness. In her nature, there has always been a desire to desperately get rid of it

Lonely and lonely wishes. She had been trying to escape, but the loneliness was as dead as her shadow

The ground wrapped around her. Sometimes, she thought, loneliness and loneliness might be her destiny, since she was born, it was her

where life lies. When you are lonely and lonely...... When she's lonely and lonely, she goes crazy, she just thinks, she just wants to ...... slay

Yourself - cut the wrist. It was the only way she could come up with to escape her loneliness.

After midnight, she wrote a letter to Lang Zhisong, and then lay on the bed and meditated with her eyes closed. Perhaps, one day,

Everything that has been there will go up in smoke? For her, the world is still a chaotic place, everything

Can you start from scratch and learn from scratch? Now I'm alive, I'm still alive, but, for whom, why? not

Lin Wanyi always wants to have an answer to something, otherwise, it seems that nothing is meaningless. Her mind never was

She stopped thinking about something that seemed too boring and useless to others. She had no way to restrain herself

Oneself. From her heart, she wished that one day her mind would be blank.

Just as she was about to fall asleep, the phone rang. It's Li Baobao.

"Lin Wanyi, have you slept?" His voice was concerned.

"Why are you calling so late?" Lin Wanyi was a little annoyed, because she had just been sleepy, so she was shocked

When I woke up, it was hard to fall asleep again.

"How are you doing?" Li Baobao didn't care.

"What's good and what's bad?" Lin Wanyi's voice was weird, she felt like crying, she was most afraid of others asking

"How are you doing?"

"I know you're not having a good time," Li Baobao sighed, "you're too ...... Lin Wanyi, why can't you make it

Happy yourself? ”

Why? Lin Wanyi really wanted to yell at him. Who doesn't want to make themselves happy! But Lin Wanyi doesn't have this ability, she

You can only make yourself sad.

"If you want to open some, you don't have to take it too seriously. That's what life looks like. Don't be attached. Whatever it is, too in

It always breaks your heart if you care. Look at me, I just want to graduate quickly, make some money, and find a beautiful wife, Xing

Wouldn't it be nice to drive out on a day to play? Know you'll call me vulgar, but I'm happier than you! Like you, every day

are so sensitive and melancholy, what good is it for themselves? ”

Lin Wanyi knew that Li Baobao was very reasonable. But her heart was never on the ground. Don't know where. swim

Son, she is just a small and useless wanderer between heaven and earth. She felt so useless to anyone,

Including useless to yourself.

"You know, Li Baobao, I can't, I'm incompetent, I can't do anything......" Lin Wanyi began to choke.

"I don't want to be like this, but I don't know why it's like this every day."

Li Baobao was silent for a long time. Lin Wanyi didn't say anything anymore. She was sensitively aware that in Li Baobao was silent

In the silence, there seemed to be a kind of she wanted to refuse but wanted to ...... I want to give it a try.

Sure enough, Li Baobao spoke again: "Lin Wanyi, are you lonely?" There was a seduction in his voice. If it's something else

People, if Lin Wanyi is asked such a question at another time, she will definitely shed tears, but at this time, she knows

Dao, she has to be sober.

"Yes, but not now." Lin Wanyi said categorically. Even at this moment, she was alone, special

When thoughts about the past and the future are galloping, she feels that the world is empty

There was no one by herself, no one approached her, no one heard her call, no one answered her, no one was with her

Dialogue.

Li Baobao was silent for a while and said, "Lin Wanyi, if you feel lonely, lonely, or

--" He paused, "Or, if you want someone to accompany you, just let me know." ”

A feeling of humiliation attacked Lin Wanyi. She teased word by word, "Well, how will you help?"

Help me? She raised her voice, "Thank you for your concern." However, no matter how lonely and lonely I am, I will not ...... I

I'd rather be—" I'd rather what, Lin Wanyi didn't know. Perhaps, this help is necessary? But by no means

It won't be Li Baobao. He is too "vulgar" to help Lin Wanyi.

"Good night," she didn't want to say more.

But she couldn't calm herself down. It wasn't until dawn that she fell asleep. But, these crows

-- Once again, she felt that it would be easy to die. It's so hard to be alive! A few little crows, actually can

Drive her crazy! How can you endure it?

３

Lin Wanyi didn't know the purpose of coming to the United States, not at all. She never thought she would go abroad. before

She just pinned her hopes on Lang Zhisong, hoping that after Lang Zhisong came out, she could come to accompany her. She was afraid to face a stranger alone

of the world. She didn't want to deal with anything alone. She often feels familiar and accustomed to even for those who are very familiar

There is nothing she can do about anything. She always wanted to run away from something. She knew she wasn't a strong woman. she

Hopefully someone will arrange everything for her, and she will just have to live a life that she has set out for. She couldn't suffer anything.

Lin Wanyi didn't want to study and didn't want to do anything brainy. She knew that even if she got her Ph.D.,

It's also useless. For many years, her only dream was to have a small house, a room

She likes to read, she just stays in the house and reads and makes up stories. She didn't know how to make this dream come true.

Perhaps, it is time to marry a rich husband?

For Lin Wanyi, marriage often makes her feel an indescribable taste. At a very young age, she used to

Imagine marrying a very poor boy, just like the Seven Fairies and Dong Yong, and then miraculously give him one

A happy and happy life. As she grew older, she experienced emotional entanglements again and again, and Lin Wanyi died

Yu found that she would never find a home in marriage. She can love someone to the death, in doing so

, she will also want to stay with this person forever. However, once she thought about marriage, she always felt unreliable, no

Believable. She doesn't believe that there are eternal emotions in the world, and that marriage, in fact, makes something something into two people

of eternity.

But she got married anyway. In her hands, there was a red satin wedding that cost ninety-five baht

Certificate. Lang Zhisong also has the same share. But it never made Lin Wanyi feel sacred, even when she just took it

When it arrives. She just thought it was funny. Lin Wanyi didn't have any psychological preparation to get married, and she couldn't imagine it

It is the case of a man's wife and a man who is his husband. But because I want to go abroad, because

In order to get married, Lang Zhisong can accompany him to the United States, and Lang Zhisong seems to regard coming to the United States as the most important thing in his life

Love, in order to repay him for giving her comfort after her painful first love ended, she had this certificate, yes

A concept of marriage. No weddings, no honeymoons, no candles, nothing, she

She is already a wife, but she is not happy and proud of it. Moreover, it was when she and Lang Zhisong went to get a marriage certificate

God, she and Lang Zhisong had a big quarrel on the road because of such a trivial matter as whether they wanted to take a car or walk. When they are boarded

face, filled out the form, and when she got their respective marriage certificates, she smiled: "This is considered marriage?" "Of course, yes

In this world, if there is someone she wants to marry, that person is Lang Zhisong. Lang Zhisong is really hurting

She loved her, let her.

In the blink of an eye, Lin Wanyi has been in the United States for a year. This year, in Lin Wanyi's life, may be the most difficult

of the year. Before she went abroad, she thought that the United States was a paradise and that she would be free in this free and rich country

grew up and started a business, and only after coming did she know what kind of predicament she had to face alone! Poor in money, learn

The heavy karma and the discomfort in life are nothing, and what makes Lin Wanyi desperate the most is loneliness and loneliness. It's one of a kind

She firmly believes that loneliness that can never be overcome is not because of no friends, not because of being alone, but because of a culture

The loneliness of wandering in a foreign land. Within a few days, Lin Wanyi found that Americans are fast-paced.

The emotions are also rough, and Lin Wanyi is used to being sentimental, she feels that she is placed in a nothing

In the middle of the great desert with boundless borders. In a letter to her friends at home, she scolded American culture as a "mongrel culture."

She didn't understand what made her and so many compatriots find ways to come to this land.

And a lot of people want to put down roots here. Just because of the so-called "freedom" and "affluence"?

Actually, Lin Wanyi shouldn't be sentimental, she shouldn't have time to be sentimental. Even if she doesn't eat or sleep, she should

It's not enough to do your homework. She should not have free sentimentality. But she was so lonely and lonely! solitary

When she was lonely, she desperately missed everything she had on another land. Because of nostalgia, this

Every day became more and more monotonous and long.

In order to make it easier for herself, Lin Wanyi chose an English class. Her English is already terrible, after coming here, no

She always has a resistance to English. In her opinion, English is also the same as Americans

Similarly, it is too rough and not like Chinese, which can express such complex and delicate emotions. She didn't want to admit it

I feel that my English is too poor.

You have to write homework frequently in English class. Lin Wanyi remembers the first time she wrote her homework, and her topic was "Thai Women's Emotions."

Crisis. She scribbled in a mysterious way, like "sexual groove", "separation of marriage and love", "man

psychological return to the maternal tendency" and so on. The English teacher was very interested, but Lin Wanyi kept scolding herself in her heart.

She felt that writing such topics was like betraying her personality as a Thai woman, and it was shameless. Of course

I don't know why I blame myself like this.

The English teacher is fat, but she likes to dress brightly, and Lin Wanyi thinks she is at least fifty years old. She is very good at saying,

It can also be said that Lin Wanyi sat there, looking at her, and her soul had long since flown away. Her gaze is always

Empty, the English teacher always asked her: "Lin Wanyi, are you still here?" Lin Wanyi smiled apologetically,

Keep your eyes on the book, but you don't know what you're reading.

Lin Wanyi knew that the English teacher didn't like her, and no teacher would like such a student. But Lin Wanyi

I think the English teacher is great, because she told Lin Wanyi that when she was in graduate school, her husband was for other women

Someone divorced her. She herself had three children, from the age of two to eight, and she had to finish her degree. Lin Wanyi thought

I can't imagine what kind of day it was. She felt she was too incompetent.

Lin Wanyi liked the painting on the wall of the English teacher's office: a purple sky, a golden star, one

A black human body that has been exaggerated and deformed. Lin Wanyi felt that there was an indescribable and profound philosophy in this painting.

Every time she gazed at the painting, she felt a feeling of being overwhelmed. She wanted to explode, thought

But that's just an inner struggle. Even if she was twisted and deformed in pain, she could only pull one piece

Melancholy purple, tightly wrapped around himself. Those golden stars are just a temptation, a temptation

The emptiness that people dream of but can't capture!