Liu Yiyi did not fulfill her promise to herself.

A year later, she still stayed by Qin Yixing's side. Once a week, or twice, she would go from school to Kangding to meet Qin Yixing, say something she had said before, and do something she had done before. The relationship between the two is already a bit like a husband and wife, everything is in order, there is no fierceness and desire, and there are some conflicts from time to time, and reconciliation seems to be hopeless, but it has come back and forth.

Liu Yiyi doesn't know how this year passed, but it passed anyway. From twenty-four to twenty-five, this is proof of the past. The days passed too peacefully, and the calm was numbing. Twenty-five, that feels different from twenty-four. One day she went to the supermarket and saw a girl, less than twenty years old, choosing a pillow. The girl shouted: "Husband! She noticed that there was a man next to the girl, nearly thirty years old, who was exactly the kind of temperament she wanted. Liu Yiyi pretended to go to see the pillow as well, and saw the man carrying a shopping basket in the mall, which contained noodles, a bag of rice, a bag of salt, as well as meat, dried fragrant vegetables, and green vegetables. She went around to see the man and woman on the other side, and they didn't hide the subtle intimacy at all. They are one of the countless cohabitants in Lucheng, and more importantly, a new generation has grown up and joined the ranks of emotional competition. Their advantages are so obvious that they can't help but make Liu Yiyi feel pressure and loss. In fact, there is only a few years of distance, which is nothing to men in recent years, but the gap is so obvious for women. She suddenly felt a sense of crisis. Indeed, in the past two years, there has been nothing lacking in my life except loneliness. Because I don't lack anything, I don't have pressure, I'm not in a hurry, and I don't have a sense of crisis, like a frog in warm water. When leaving the supermarket, Liu Yiyi thought to herself that it was time for this situation to end.

This year, there were also two or three men in Liu Yiyi's life who had a little meaning, but it ended before it unfolded. In contact with those people, she told Qin Yixing in detail, and Qin Yixing did not object, and helped her analyze the situation. can put them to Qin Yixing's side, and Liu Yiyi's emotional balance is so clearly tilted towards Qin Yixing's side. Qin Yixing is the starting point and the ignition point, this starting point and ignition point are too high, Liu Yiyi can't accept others, just like people who are used to watching color TVs can't stand black and white TV, and people who are used to driving cars can't go back to ride a bicycle. In any case, discussing a relationship with another man naked under a quilt is not going to be a prospect. And so it dragged on day by day.

On the night of this weekend, Qin Yixing stayed in Kangding until eleven o'clock, and he had no intention of leaving. Liu Yiyi pushed him in the quilt and said, "Why are you so humane today?" You go, or she'll curse. He said, "I won't go back today." Liu Yiyi was pleasantly surprised and said, "The sun is out of the west?" "My heart was so happy that I was in a mess. They have been together for more than two years, but they can spend fewer good nights together than festivals. He also said: "I made up another story to tell Zhou Shan?" "Speaking of making up stories, in the past two years, Qin Yixing doesn't know how much he has made up, and he hasn't missed the stuffing. Qin Yixing said: "I can't make up the story anymore, I found out, I quarreled, and I can't go back." Liu Yiyi said: "Did you find me?" She was afraid that Zhou Shan would sue her to go to school. Qin Yixing said: "She knows that there is such a person, but she doesn't know who it is." Liu Yiyi said: "Why did she find out?" Qin Yixing said: "No matter how dull a woman is, a man doesn't pay public food, she always knows." I have handed over all the surplus of my public food to you. Liu Yiyi pouted and said, "I said that I want you to take care of her a little bit, people have already said it!" Qin Yixing said: "Alas, a man's heart, you don't know, it's difficult for him to force himself." Liu Yiyi felt her advantage and said, "It's been so long, why did she suddenly know about it?" Qin Yixing said: "She not only knows, but also knows a lot." ”

It all started with a text message from a little over a month ago. That day, Liu Yiyi sent a text message: "There is no money on the mobile phone. "Urge Qin Yixing to go to the mobile company to pay the money. The time of sending the letter was after dinner, which was supposed to be a safe time agreed upon by the two of them. But this day, Qin Yixing went to take a bath in advance, and forgot to turn it to mute. The mobile phone beeped, and Zhou Shan took it out of his trouser pocket and looked at it, and he was a little puzzled. Who has no money on their mobile phone and will notify him? Zhou Shan remained silent, wrote down the number, and went to the mobile company to pay the money the next day, and the owner turned out to be Qin Yixing. She went to check the supermarket shopping receipts at home, these receipts were issued by the unit in order to avoid taxes, and Qin Yixing kept them for invoicing. Dozens of receipts looked over one by one, and she found that one or two were problematic, some cosmetics, shampoo, and even sanitary napkins. She put the ticket away, but remained silent. I counted Qin Yixing's keys again, there were two pieces of them, although they were very ordinary, they were of unknown origin, lying in the palm of their hands as if they wanted to dodge, and the more they looked at it, the more suspicious they became. A few days later, she said that the unit wanted to apply for medical insurance and asked for the ID cards of both parties. Qin Yixing took it out and gave it to her, and when he handed it over, he obviously hesitated. He didn't realize it, but she saw it really. Zhou Shan took his ID card to the mobile company to type out his phone list, and there were more than 400 messages sent to that number in a month. After careful inspection, I found that many of them were actually at home, that is, under my own eyelids. The latest is sent out in the early morning, that is, it is sent out by sleeping next to you. Over the years, I have been too careless. At noon, she returned her ID card, but she still didn't say anything.

A few days later, because Qin Yixing didn't go home on time for dinner, Zhou Shan lost his temper. Qin Yixing explained that he was working overtime temporarily, and if he didn't believe it, he went to ask whom. Zhou Shan said: "I don't want to ask others, I want to ask the second Qin Yixing, how many messages have you sent to yourself in a month?" Qin Yixing was stunned for a moment, and immediately said, "What do you mean?" Zhou Shan said: "Performance, good, perform again." Qin Yixing was silent, and Zhou Shan said: "Send more than 400 messages a month, when did you have this affection for your family?" Qin Yixing was silent, and Zhou Shan said, "What about so-and-so cosmetics?" What about sanitary napkins? I haven't bought a sanitary napkin for decades, so I'm embarrassed to buy it. It's embarrassing to give her! Qin Yixing said: "This small ticket was picked up by someone else when I was shopping, and I collected it for you!" Zhou Shan said: "There is also a triangle electric hot pot on this ticket," she went to the kitchen to get it, "It's here, that person also bought an electric hot pot that day, and it was also a triangle card, and he threw the ticket to you again, you say it yourself!" Qin Yixing was silent, Zhou Shan started from falling in love, getting married, and having children, and kept wiping her tears and saying, "You say something!" Qin Yixing was still silent, Zhou Shan threw the electric hot pot to the ground and said, "Say something!" "I ran to the kitchen to get a knife to cut my hand, but was snatched down by Qin Yixing. She pounced and tore and bited, saliva on Qin Yixing's wrist. The daughter ran out and cried out in horror: "Mommy! Father! Zhou Shan let go of Qin Yixing, hugged her daughter, and shook her body vigorously: "Your father doesn't want us anymore!" The daughter said, "He dares!" Dad, do you dare? Qin Yixing was silent, opened the door and went out, and came to Liu Yiyi.

Knowing this, Liu Yiyi actually felt a sense of relief, and a little hope sprouted in the relief. This hope is small and sharp, like the tip of a knife stuck in the heart. Still two months ago, Qin Yixing was called back from Kangding several times and asked him to go shopping. He didn't say what to buy, but later he learned that he was buying decoration materials. Something is missing, the master calls, and he has to buy it immediately. With an inexplicable curiosity, Liu Yiyi found the residential area of the TV station and asked Qin Yixing about the set in more than a dozen new houses. When I went in, I saw that the renovation was almost finished, and the workers were painting the walls, and the smell was pungent. The room has five bedrooms and two living rooms, so spacious, bright, and even a little luxurious. Liu Yiyi felt a huge shock and loss. Why can't all this be your own, and what do you pay less? Having a house of his own in Lucheng is his dream for many years, and he can't imagine that it is so good. However, this ideal can only be realized by others. What did you give less? Unwilling, unwilling! But no matter how unwilling you are, you can only be willing. She wondered if there was a name, it was different, it was too different. Perhaps, as some men say, a marriage certificate is a piece of paper that doesn't say anything, but without this paper, nothing can be said. There is not necessarily a guarantee with this piece of paper, but without this piece of paper, there must be no guarantee, the only result is that people are old and yellow, and they are eliminated, how can a lover be forty years old? That's the difference, that's the reality.

Liu Yiyi hugged Qin Yixing tightly, hooked his leg and said, "She doesn't want you, I want you!" For more than two years, she didn't want to interfere with his home, she thought it was impossible, and now the impossible is possible. Qin Yixing turned sideways, pressed his chest against her chest and said, "Do you really want me?" You're not afraid of me? Liu Yiyi said: "I'm afraid of you? Qin Yixing said: "After seventy or eighty years, I will be fifty years old, and I can't do anything." Liu Yiyi said: "If you can't do it, you won't do it." Qin Yixing said: "At that time, you were only in your early thirties, I couldn't eat you, I'm not afraid?" Liu Yiyi said: "Who is like you men, pick up the bowl to eat, put down the bowl or eat." I'll just love me in your heart, love! This is the word I want to get the most in my life, and this is the word that is the hardest thing to get. Woman, no matter how chic she is, she still can't escape this word! Because she's a woman! Without that word, she withered. Now a woman wants to get the word, it's too hard. Qin Yixing said, "Didn't I give it to you?" Liu Yiyi said: "Give it to me today, what about tomorrow?" I don't know where my tomorrow is. Qin Yixing said: "I don't dare to say it tomorrow." What will I do if you leave me hanging in mid-air that day? I'm not a big boss, I don't dare to play that romance. Qin Yixing wanted to tell her that a certain signal from the body could destroy a man's self-confidence the most. He peed in the public toilet, and the pee of those stupid boys was shooting out flat, but his own was hanging down, and he couldn't even be flat. His lips moved, and he swallowed the words like a bitter fruit. Liu Yiyi said: "You don't believe me so much? Qin Yixing said: "I don't dare to trust anyone too much, I only dare to believe in human nature, but human nature is the most unbelievable." Liu Yiyi said: "You don't believe me, and you don't believe in yourself?" The singer in Beijing is more than 30 years older than his wife, and he has a child in his 60s! Qin Yixing smiled: "I don't have such a good body." Liu Yiyi said: "I know that you are in good health, others don't know, what I know, you are in good health!" ”

Liu Yiyi was dizzy and said a lot of words, and suddenly found that Qin Yixing had fallen asleep. She was a little angry and quickly forgave him, thinking, he was tired from arguing. Liu Yiyi couldn't sleep this night, it was raining lightly outside, there was no sound, and she had to feel it with her heart. The almost silent voice made her feel warm and nourished. She couldn't sleep, she picked up her mobile phone to send a message, wrote more than 20 messages, and sent them to Qin Yixing's mobile phone, with memories of the past, visions for the future, and her own mood, he will see it when he wakes up tomorrow and be moved. Qin Yixing woke up in the middle of the night and asked, "Why don't you sleep yet?" Liu Yiyi said: "You have only slept here for one night in a few years, and I am reluctant to fall asleep!" Qin Yixing hugged her tightly for a long time and sighed.

Early the next morning, Qin Yixing went to work. Liu Yiyi did not go back to school to attend classes, nor did she contact Qin Yixing, and with a vague hope, she stayed in Kangding all day. When Qin Yixing came in the evening, Liu Yiyi heard the door ringing, jumped to the door, hugged him and said, "You are really here!" People have been waiting for you for a day. Qin Yixing said: "You want me to come so much, why don't you call me?" Liu Yiyi said: "Let's see if there is a tacit understanding, but I don't call you." Qin Yixing said: "I'm homeless, this is my home." Liu Yiyi said: "If you have a home, I will have a home, I am a woman, how I want to have a home!" Tears welled up, held back, and said, "Let's buy everything for cooking, only with firewood, rice, oil and salt can we have the smell of home." Qin Yixing said, "Take a look." Then he said, "After reading so much information about you, can I not come?" "For a few days, Qin Yixing lived here. Liu Yiyi thought that if she continued to live like this, it would become a fait accompli, and Qin Yixing would go through the divorce procedures. Qin Yixing said that after getting divorced, his daughter still wants it. Thinking that she was going to be a stepmother in her twenties, she felt aggrieved. Alas, as long as he is good to himself, this grievance is worth it, so he thinks about how to get along with that little girl in the future. Thinking of Zhou Shan again, what will she do alone in the future? She felt cruel, survival was too cruel for a woman. Thinking like this, she softened, hesitated, and said to herself in her heart, this is really something that has no choice. agreed that Qin Yixing would give her the house and give her some compensation. Thinking of the house, she paused in her heart, thinking, let's give it to her. Liu Yiyi was prepared in her heart, even if Zhou Shan knew about herself and went to school, she had to grit her teeth and bear it.

On Saturday morning, as soon as the sky was bright, Qin Yixing's mobile phone rang, it was his daughter calling, asking him if he would send her to learn the piano. Answering the phone, Qin Yixing said, "No way, you have to go." "Get up. Liu Yiyi said: "You agreed to take someone to the botanical garden for a day!" "Hook his leg with his leg. Qin Yixing said: "Tomorrow, tomorrow." "I want to break my legs out. Liu Yiyi hugged him tightly, and he said, "Then I will hold you for another five minutes, five minutes." Five minutes later, Qin Yixing said, "I have to go." I said if you want to go, you can't go, you know. "Break her leg with your hand. Liu Yiyi resisted, feeling that he had used a lot of strength, so he let go and said, "You go." ”

Liu Yiyi stayed in Kangding for another day and didn't go to class. Soak a pack of instant noodles at noon and eat it. Thinking that Qin Yixing would take himself out to eat at night, he bought a full set of kitchenware, and he wanted to use it anyway. I thought about going to the botanical garden tomorrow and buying something to take with me. At about six o'clock in the evening, Liu Yiyi was waiting anxiously, and Qin Yixing sent a text message to ask her if she had gone back to school? Liu Yiyi's heart was cold, and she asked back what she meant. The two sent more than a dozen text messages back and forth, but in short, he couldn't come. Qin Yixing didn't mention tomorrow, and Liu Yiyi didn't ask. Qin Yixing finally said that he couldn't send it. I don't text anymore. Liu Yiyi thought that maybe Zhou Shan had gone home and started arguing again. She very much hopes that Zhou Shan is a very strong and principled person, and will never forgive him, and if she is not done with him, the more quarrels will get bigger and bigger, it is best to drive him out. In that way, he will be more at ease, and she will be more at ease, she will drive him out by herself.

The next afternoon, Liu Yiyi went back to school. She was resentful, and she felt that she had to understand Qin Yixing. Before the fight was over, how could he walk away? Let him have enough time to quarrel, the more noisy things are, the more hopeful things are, and the botanical garden can go whenever he wants. The next time she saw Qin Yixing, Liu Yiyi said, "How is it?" Qin Yixing looked at her puzzledly and said, "What's going on?" Liu Yiyi's heart was cold, cold. She said, "How is your daughter learning the piano?" Qin Yixing glanced at her, sighed and said, "Don't worry, take your time." ”

In the future, Liu Yiyi endured not to ask about it, and Qin Yixing did not mention it. She wondered why Zhou Shan didn't move? While waiting, she couldn't help but send messages to Qin Yixing a few times when Zhou Shan was most likely to notice, calling him "fart", just like he called her "good" in the text message. This "fart" word is usually only used when it is the safest and he is the most emotional, but now he hopes that Zhou Shan can see it. However, there was still no movement. Liu Yiyi couldn't help it, and asked Qin Yixing: "Have you seen all the letters I sent?" Qin Yixing said: "She doesn't look at it, she doesn't look at it when she deliberately puts it in front of her." I can't remind her to see it. Liu Yiyi said: "Have you seen it all?" Qin Yixing said, "I saw it." And he said, "She does not look." Liu Yiyi felt that the situation was not right, and it did not develop according to her expectations. What to do? It's like playing chess, you don't want the other person to take which move he deflects; It's like playing cards, you don't want the other party to play which card he deflects, in short, you are very uncomfortable, which means that you fail. Do you want to take the initiative to knock on the door like some girls do? If he can't take this step, he doesn't have the courage, and he is afraid that Qin Yixing will turn his face and deny people and bring humiliation on himself. After a month or two like this, Liu Yiyi couldn't help but say, "What's going on?" Qin Yixing said: "It's still like that." Liu Yiyi said: "What is that like?" Qin Yixing said: "What else can it be?" That's it. And he said, "She does not agree." Liu Yiyi said: "How could she agree, I am her and I don't agree." I didn't have any ideas, you want to provoke me, after thinking about it for so long, it was that she didn't agree and sent me away, my heart hurt so much, I bled out, drop by drop! Qin Yixing said: "She disagrees. Liu Yiyi said: "Then you arrange for me to meet her." There is nothing between us, but there is only that piece of paper, and between you there is nothing, there is only that piece of paper. Is that piece of paper the essence of the matter? I'm sure she's reasonable. You just let me meet her, I will admit it if there is no result, I believe she is reasonable. Qin Yixing touched her head, pinched her earlobe, rubbed it gently, and said slowly: "She, she doesn't agree, I can't help it." This time Liu Yiyi understood, she was his daughter. Qin Yixing said: "Qin'er has been pampered since she was a child, she has to drink fresh milk for milk, she has to eat buns and ignore the dog, and she must be driven by her father to learn piano." What clothes to wear, what pen to use, can only be up to her. When I wanted to eat McDonald's at night when I was doing my homework, I didn't raise my head and shouted Dad, so I had to go downstairs and drive the car to buy it for her. Who has a way to put such a daughter on the stall? Who will spoil her like this when I'm gone? That's miserable, there's really no way to do it. Liu Yiyi lowered her head, and tears dripped on the ground one by one. If you let yourself out, you are not afraid of making trouble, but you need Qin Yixing's approval, if he doesn't approve of it, it can only be a joke. Qin Yixing just took out a handkerchief to wipe it off for her, and dripped it down again. He said a lot of reasons, all reasons. Liu Yiyi didn't say anything, she just felt that she had imagined so much, it was so ridiculous, too ridiculous. The relationship between people is linked by blood, how can they fight? and Zhou Shan, she is ready for her to go to school, and even looks forward to her going to school. After such a fuss, everyone's faces were torn off, Qin Yixing wanted to give himself an explanation, a result, and he completely let go of the burden of conscience. But Zhou Shan didn't go, her forbearance was really good! It's a war, no smoke, but no less brutal. I haven't fought her myself, maybe it's a protracted battle, and now it's a stalemate, and the further back I go, the more passive I become. If your opponent can afford it, you can't afford it! Liu Yiyi felt the humiliation of defeat, this humiliation was like the tip of a knife, so small, inserted on the tip of her heart, blood oozed out, and slowly dripped on her chest, dripping, dripping. Liu Yiyi didn't hate Qin Yixing, she didn't hate anyone, but she was still so keenly aware of the tragic role she played. This is a vague silhouette in the depths of dark time, which gradually becomes clear in the passage of time, making people bow their heads and hide their faces, crying, and can't bear to face it.