A lot of bad behavior is the result of excessive vanity, and these behaviors become a means for people to satisfy themselves. Those irrational and even immoral motives are like a stimulant, igniting evil thoughts, causing people to lose their minds and pursue the beauty of glitz and vanity. But the overly vain is often greeted with lifelong regrets, and their lives become illusory as a result.

Vanity – the fragile bubble of life

In all fairness, vanity exists in each of us to varying degrees, and a certain degree of vanity is understandable, and the occasional idea of vanity is understandable.

To put it another way, modest vanity can even help us work harder, keep us moving forward, and catch up with people who are better than ourselves. Modest vanity can make life better. But excessive vanity is definitely harmful, and excessive vanity leads us to the opposite side of life.

Wang Wei always likes to show off her parents in front of others, because her father is an entrepreneur and her mother is a civil servant, so she feels very honored, no matter when or where, she will talk about her parents. After entering college, she also felt that she was different from others, but the truth shattered her illusions, no one cared about her identity, and no one chased her because of her parents. She felt disappointed, mentally unbalanced, and felt belittled. And in front of those classmates who are better than her own family conditions, she always welcomes them very much.

Vanity is like a gorgeous farce, there is always an end to the farce, and vanity is always seen through. When a person is accustomed to vanity, he will gradually forget the truth and thus allow himself to live under a veil of vanity. Once this veil is blown away by the wind of reality, then he will not know what to do.

Vanity is like a beautiful bubble, colorful in the sun, but it can't withstand the gentle blowing of the wind, vanity is always very weak in front of reality, and this veil will be easily lifted. No matter how beautiful vanity is, it will inevitably become nothingness. Vanity people try to show their perfection in front of others, but they pay a high price for it, and end up with a lot of sourness that only they know.

Vanity people are afraid of loneliness, so they will use the superficial "indifference" to cover up their inner fear. If you directly expose their true hearts, they will feel that they have no support and will collapse in an instant, this is the mind under the veil of vanity. The vain mind is desolate, they are afraid of being torn apart, they hope that their mask will be worn forever, but the truth is always cruel, they always become the ridiculed, naked king.

Vanity is but a puffy cloud that will dissipate sooner or later. No matter how beautiful it is, it can't pass the assessment of reality. However, some people are always reluctant to face their true selves. However, life is real, whether it is bright and moving or bleak, it will finally be fixed in a certain moment of life, joy, sorrow and tears fly away, becoming a remembered or forgotten past. In this vast world, the real clouds may still be blown away by the blowing wind, not to mention the vanity of nothingness? Life is real, there is no room for too much vanity, if a person chooses to live in vanity, then his life is indispensable to all kinds of pain and entanglement.

Vanity is often a stumbling block to success, and under the mask of vanity, a hideous inner world is often revealed. A person's vanity often brings harm to those around him. Therefore, if you want to achieve your own success and make your life path smoother, then don't let your life become hideous, don't let yourself live in a vain world, let yourself become braver, let your truth move the outside world, let your truth help you grow, and help yourself achieve your own happiness.

Vanity is actually a distorted sense of self-esteem

Vanity can hardly be said to be an evil deed, but many evil deeds are born around vanity, and they are nothing more than a means to satisfy vanity. Vanity is a very complex psychological phenomenon that has a great relationship with self-esteem, but it cannot be said that people with strong vanity generally have strong self-esteem. Because self-esteem is both related to and distinct from vanity, vanity is actually a distorted form of self-esteem.

He Wei and Lili were college classmates, and they were recognized as golden boys and girls when they were in school, and after graduation, they naturally formed a century-old friendship. At that time, when the students were worried about their work, He Wei was directly recommended to a company as a design engineer, and Lili was proud of it.

After 5 years of marriage, they have a baby, and their lives are on a stable track, simple and calm, and happy. However, a class reunion completely upsets Lili's heart.

At that party, the men were showing off their careers, the women were comparing their husbands, standing among the classmates, Lili suddenly found that she looked so ordinary among her classmates, and those female classmates who had studied and looked inferior to themselves were all wearing famous brands, carrying expensive handbags, with thousands of manners and graceful demeanor. And those male classmates who were once left far behind by their husbands and didn't learn and didn't know how to do it, now they all look proud.

On the way home, Lili didn't speak, He Wei joked: "That kid, I really underestimated him at the beginning, a little gangster who fought as a department, and now he can be mixed like this, but you look at him, he really looks like a villain." ”

"People are villains, but people have ambitions, what are you? Standing still? What qualifies someone to laugh at them? ”

He Wei noticed Lili's cynicism, but he didn't get angry: "What's wrong?" Regretted it? If I had followed him at the beginning, I would have become a rich woman now, wouldn't I? ”

One sentence angered Lili, who was already unhappy: "Yes, I regret it, with you, a man who doesn't grow up, I'm so inferior to people everywhere." ”

He Wei only thought that she was vain, and was stimulated by those female classmates at today's party, so in order to avoid quarreling, he stopped making a noise.

After a night of nothing, they went to work the next day, He Wei felt that Lili had calmed down and no longer cared about it, but after that, he found that Lili had really changed, and he always sarcastically sarcastic to him from time to time:

"You're too comfortable with being in one company for so long, right?"

"I've been working for so long, and I haven't made much progress, why don't you quit and go out to toss and toss?"

"Hey, I don't know what kind of life I'm living now, if I want to buy a decent dress, I have to think about the price for a long time, who let us have a husband who is not angry!"

Under Lili's continuous supervision, He Wei finally made up his mind to "toss and toss". He bought a Beijing Hyundai and worked during the day and worked in the dark at night to meet Lili's expanding material needs. Lili's face gradually smiled.

That day, the two had made an appointment to visit Lili's father in the evening, but He Wei didn't come back. Lili was angry and received a message from He Wei: "I'm sorry wife, I can't satisfy you." The woman looked at it, thinking that it must be He Wei's apology text message, she lay down, thinking about her life together over the years, thinking about her husband's care and tolerance for herself, thinking about their current life, although it was ordinary, but it was also happy, thinking that she might really be carried away by vanity, thinking about it and falling asleep. The next morning, Lili, who opened her eyes, found that He Wei had not returned all night, she was furious, and was about to call to question, but the phone rang suddenly.

The other end of the phone said that they were from the traffic accident department, and Lili listened to it, feeling that the world in front of her was becoming more and more ethereal, and her body kept shaking and curled up in a ball.

It turned out that night, He Wei pulled a guest who was in a hurry to get out of the city, he usually doesn't go out of the city, but because the price given by the other party was too tempting, he agreed, on the way back, he was rear-ended by a truck, and at the last moment He Wei sent a message to Lili, "Wife I'm sorry, I can't satisfy you." ”

In the morgue, Lili's heart twitched, but no matter how painful, no matter how remorseful, no matter how much self-blame, she couldn't wake up the "sleeping" He Wei. She asked herself over and over again: "Why scold, why persecut, why can't you cherish what you have in front of you?" Why pay for life with vanity? ”

People need honor, and they should be proud to have honor. However, the real honor should be real, not false, and should be obtained through one's own efforts, not by opportunism. In the face of honor, we should be humble and cautious, keep forging ahead, rather than be complacent and forgetful. It can be seen that when people lack a correct understanding of self-esteem, they will let vanity be riddled with.

Comparison is a poisonous fire that burns happiness

Everyone has the psychology of comparison, more or less. A little comparison, that's called giving yourself motivation; If you compare it more, it will become a pressure without motivation, and your body and mind will not be healthy.

There is nothing wrong with "comparison" itself, what is wrong is people's mentality towards "comparison". Once people have an abnormal comparative mind, they often can't be at peace, and they are worried about what they want all day long, chasing those superfluous things, wasting their years, and it is rare to be happy. However, although people know the truth that "people are more angry than others", in life, they still have to compare themselves with various people in their surroundings, but in the end, what is left except for the satisfaction or disappointment of vanity? Does it make sense? Is it just adding to the annoyance or gaining something? The answer is: meaningless!

Lina's happiness can be said to have been ruined by a party that made her feel very embarrassed.

Lulu is the prettiest of these friends, and she brings a new boyfriend with her at the party, who is said to be the young owner of a large company in Wenzhou, and her family is very famous in the local area. Lulu carried a LV bag, opening and putting it away from time to time, for fear that others would not be able to see it.

On a hot day, Qiqi actually wrapped a small fur scarf, which is said to have been given by her boyfriend who is doing fur business in the Northeast, and told everyone how expensive this kind of fur is, how to pay attention to maintenance, and how difficult it is to match clothes. It's like she's already the proprietress of a fur company.

Kailin didn't wear any name tags, but she kept mentioning her handsome and rich boyfriend, talking about their marriage plans, the house to buy in Beijing, and the plan to hire migrant workers to queue up to buy a reserved room. Wedding trip to France......

Lina feels that she is the most disgraced, her boyfriend works in a public institution, although the job is not bad, and the treatment is very good, but compared to them, she looks inferior, and she is not very handsome. Lina despises the cheesiness of her girlfriends and envy them at the same time. The more I think about it when I get home, the more angry I become, hoping that Kiki will be covered with her fur and get prickly heat, Lulu's boyfriend's business will go bankrupt, and Kailin's boyfriend will empathize. Secretly cursing in her heart, Lina began to complain that her boyfriend was unproductive and couldn't make a lot of money, and the two quarreled about it, so angry that Lina didn't eat all day the next day.

The more Lina thought about it, the more unpleasant it became, and she was depressed all day long, and she even fell ill for it. After she recovered from her illness, she began to complain and torture for various reasons, and her boyfriend was exhausted and could only take the initiative to break up.

Since then, Lina has begun to completely change herself, and in her eyes, she can only tolerate the fifth diamond king. She and her current husband met at a friend's wedding, and on the third day after the wedding, the bride and groom organized a "thank you meal". Later, Lina learned that the "thank you dinner" was mainly from a friend of the groom, Zhao Han Zhang Luo, in order to see herself. Zhao Han is the manager of a group company, and he can be regarded as a family business, with a solid family background. The reason why I am still unmarried, my friend said that it is because I am too picky, my family is rich and worried, and I have always wanted to find a wife with a simple background and a virtuous housekeeper.

Lina, who wanted to marry into a wealthy family, began to "package" herself. Zhao Han didn't want to find a strong woman, and insisted on the traditional concept of "male protagonist outside and female protagonist inside", so Lina deliberately made it clear that she didn't have any ideas about work, and she still felt that family was more important.

Zhao Han likes simple girls, and Lina figured out that her biggest hobby is staying at home. In fact, Lina has a "specialty" - super good drinking. But after falling in love with Zhao Han, Lina has always claimed that she doesn't drink. Once a few friends played together, and a friend said that he had leaked his mouth in front of Zhao Han, Lina immediately denied it and almost turned her face.

In the end, Lina and Zhao Han achieved a positive result, and the two got married. After getting married, Lina quit her job according to Zhao Han's wishes and devoted herself to being a full-time wife, but Lina had a feeling of "getting on a thief ship".

The first is the problem of housework, when she was in love before, Lina could still fool around, but after she got married, she couldn't hold the fire. Zhao Han felt that Lina was becoming more and more uncontrollable, even if she didn't need to do the housework herself, she needed someone to arrange and co-ordinate it, but Lina didn't have any awareness at all.

The most important thing is that Lina still has more pursuits and ideas for her career in her heart, and feels that being a full-time wife at home buries her talent. Lina proposed several times that she wanted to go out to work, but was rejected by Zhao Han.

Now that the two are on the verge of a cold war, Lina feels like she's going to collapse.

It can be said that Lina is now "drinking" every day, drinking the bitter wine she brewed at the beginning. When she saw that others were better than herself, her psychology began to be unbalanced, and it was actually the comparison psychology that was causing trouble. Objectively speaking, comparisons aren't all bad. If you can discover your own shortcomings, recognize your own uniqueness, recognize your differences with others, determine the direction of efforts, and stimulate the desire for reasonable competition through comparison, this comparison can also promote progress, and this comparison is completely possible.

However, if everything is compared, getting together is more than career, status, house, car, and silver...... If you have to compare who is stronger and who is weaker, if you win, you will be proud, you don't know why, and if you lose, you will be depressed and angry, that is a kind of psychological imbalance. In a sense, it's all self-inflicted. There is a good saying that there are always people in this world who have more and better than you, so you can't "win" in this battle. Compared with others, you can only be happy for a while.

The truth of life should be like this: there is no need to live too tired for the sake of face, and be strong in front of others, as if you can do anything. Everyone has flaws, so you have to dare to admit that you are inferior to others, and you must also dare to say "no" to things you don't know how to do, so that you can naturally live a wonderful life.

Talk about pomp and circumstance

I read a report that a female compatriot in a certain place has a monthly income of only 2000~3000 yuan, but in order to have "face" in front of others, she would rather save money and save most of her income to buy a Louis Vuitton shoulder bag in a high-end store, she can carry this shoulder bag every day to squeeze the bus or walk to and from work to save money. There are even some women who buy high-end clothes, cosmetics, jewelry, etc. beyond their ability to afford in order to show their nobility in front of others, and in order to live a life of superficial luxury and vanity, they do not hesitate to spend a lot of money, sell themselves, and gnaw at their parents, what do they lose?

People with strong vanity are strong on the outside and do not dare to reveal their hearts, so they bring a heavy psychological burden to themselves. Vanity can only satisfy temporary pleasure in real life, and prolonged vanity can lead to the breeding of unhealthy emotional factors.

Some people love face very much, like to talk about pomp, even if they are shy in their pockets, they have to charge a lot of money. Once it has made a fortune, it is even more luxurious, and there is a lot of money to come back after it is gone. It is simply impossible for such a person to achieve real success.

There are many young people who can earn a lot of money every month, but they always spend it all after they get it, and the reason is nothing more than to show it in front of others, and if such people do not repent, they may come to a bleak time in their old age!

Many people don't have a sense of saving in their heads, and they spend money like water, squandering indiscriminately, and these people never seem to know the value of money for their future career. The purpose of their indiscriminate spending seems to be to make others say that they are "arrogant" or to make others feel that they are rich. When he was dating his girlfriend, even in the middle of winter, he had to buy expensive flowers. But he never thought that his wife, who had to go so hard and spend money to chase him, would never help him save money in the future, but would definitely spend money like water and spend money like dirt.

Once such a person uses money to support his face, all kinds of troubles and depressing things will follow. For the sake of their face, they can no longer live frugally. Nor will they realize how far they have fallen. After some people are unable to make ends meet, they begin to use their brains crookedly, and even embezzle public funds to make up for their own financial shortfall, and over time, the greater the expenditure, the more the deficit, and slowly fall into the abyss of sin, from which it is difficult to extricate themselves. At this time, he realized that he should not spend indiscriminately, should not do things that violate the conscience of heaven, and should not embezzle public funds, but it was too late! In order to satisfy this vice of vanity and pomp, I don't know how many people will end up starving, and many people will even lose their lives because of it, and countless people will lose their positions because of it!

Of course, frugality is not the same as stinginess. However, even a stingy person can still have a promising future, but if he is a spendthrift and does not value money, his life may be ruined. The main reason why many people are still poor despite the hard work they have done in the past is that they do not have a good habit of saving.

Why are so many people living a subsistence life today? Because these people do not understand that they used to enjoy less happiness and live more miserable lives. They never knew to learn from the self-made people; They never knew what self-restraint was, and they had to spend it no matter how much money they had in their pockets; Sometimes they don't hesitate to save face, even if they are in debt.

A person who has the problem of spending money will not achieve anything great, and the vice of profligacy shows that a person has no great ambitions, no hope, and is even throwing himself into the net of failure. Such people are always careless and unimpressed with the income and expenditure of money, and never think of saving money. If you want to be successful, you should keep one thing in mind: you must develop a good habit of moderation and planning when it comes and goes in and out of your money.

Do what you can, don't slap your swollen face and become fat

Like the protagonist of the sketch "Something You Say", in order to show that he is better than others and has the ability, he bragged blindly, saying that he had a way to buy a train ticket, but when others asked him, in order to prove that he could, he had to queue up at night to buy a ticket, which made him embarrassed. This is a typical manifestation of vanity, and the pain and trouble it brings are self-inflicted.

This is also the case with a friend, who was assigned to work in a municipal middle school after graduating from the school, just in time for the Municipal Education Commission to ask the school to send personnel to conduct field visits to the city's middle schools and ask to write a corresponding investigation report. This friend had not yet been assigned a lesson, so he was chosen. At first, he felt very embarrassed - he had just left school, and not only did he not know much about the teaching situation in the city, but also knew little about the education work itself, not to mention that he did not want to participate in it. Helplessly, the principal has already opened his mouth, and it is really difficult to refuse because of the situation.

A month later, everyone else submitted the investigation report on time, but he, because he was not familiar with the world and lacked experience, did not even know the situation of the three middle schools he investigated, let alone analyze. The director of the Municipal Education Commission was very annoyed and scolded the principal for not knowing how to use people, this friend couldn't stand the face, he was angry and ashamed, and finally had to resign to relieve himself.

This friend ended up losing his job in order to take care of other people's feelings. This should be a profound lesson for him. But isn't this a revelation for us? If we blindly accept it because of the problem of face, if it doesn't work out, not only will the other party's displeasure escalate, but it will also be a blow to us. Therefore, no matter what we do, we must do what we can, and for what we can't do, we must give up wisely, don't be afraid of losing face, and don't be afraid of others being unhappy, because this is beyond our ability, it's not that we're cowardly, it's that we really can't.

For example, if someone flatters you for two sentences, you feel that you are omnipotent, and you don't measure how much ability you have, so you do what you can't do, what is the result? Not only can things not be done, but they often lose face.

Yes, sometimes we need a little bit of the spirit of "knowing that there are tigers in the mountains, and preferring to go to the tigers" to motivate our lives and make our hearts more tenacious and tenacious, but sometimes we also need to know how to be flexible and give up. As one writer put it, "Wise renunciation is better than blind attachment." "Anyone can do something to slap a swollen face and become fat, but why do you want to do it? Tired or not? Is it worth it? If you are fat, others will think that you are patient, that you are a hero, and that you are righteous? Not necessarily. Many times, however, we put a lot of effort into it, but in exchange for ridicule and ridicule. This is not to blame for others, but for our own self-indulgence.

Isn't it? I don't have diamonds, why do I have to do porcelain work? People must be self-aware, know where their limits are, and do everything according to their ability and do their best. On the scene, let's drink as much alcohol as we want, don't hurt ourselves; As much ability as possible, let's exert as much effort as possible, don't exhaust yourself! If you want to learn from Wu Song to go up the mountain to fight tigers, then you must first practice Wu Song's skills, otherwise wouldn't you lose your life in vain?

The famous English writer Charles Dickens warned us a long time ago: "If you think that you can do everything with enthusiasm alone, then you might as well give up this operation as soon as possible." This coincides with Mr. Li Er, a great thinker in ancient China,—— "contentment is always happy, and life is not disgraced; Knowing that it is always stopped, and there is no shame for life". In fact, when we make some kind of irrational insistence without accurate judgment, it will become synonymous with self-inflicted impatience, blind and fanatical stupidity, and if you continue to insist on doing it, it is likely to hurt your soul and even your life.

In fact, people live for a lifetime, it is impossible to do everything, everything can be, some things we can't do is normal, but if we can't do it, it is easy to be slapped in the face, be a man, remember, do what you can, don't lose face for a small face.