When we were young, our parents taught us to study hard, and we often said that "we hate less when we use books", and this is actually the case with interpersonal communication. When I needed help, I began to regret that I didn't make more friends, or why I didn't keep in touch with the friends I made at the beginning, and now I need help but can't find anyone.

No one should expect such a situation: never contact others, once you encounter difficulties, your former friends will fly to your side as if they have a feeling. You know, human affection is something that needs to be cared for.

Emotions themselves are an intangible asset, and when used skillfully, you are sure to receive unexpected rewards in a modern society where relationships are becoming increasingly complex.

Many friends feel that asking for someone is a temporary transaction, and there is no need to spend so much unjust thought to engage in marathon emotional investment, in other words, social changes are so rapid, everyone is distributed in the north and south of the world, and they may not be able to find it.

This is really a very short-sighted idea, as the saying goes, "burn more incense in ordinary times, and someone will help you in an emergency", "keep people in favor on sunny days, and borrow umbrellas on rainy days". People who really know how to make friends and are good at asking for people have a long-term strategic vision, prepare early, and take precautions, only in this way will they get unexpected help in an emergency.

A good interpersonal relationship is the foundation of successful work, but the establishment of a good relationship is not something that can be done overnight, and it must start from little by little, relying on the accumulation of daily emotions. There was a salesman who used to have a customer who could only be seen from mid-August to the end of September every year, because that was the period when the customer's company was preparing financial reports. "Other than that, I don't have any other connection with him."

One day, the salesman suddenly had a whim and decided to invite the customer to lunch together. "We didn't talk about business at all, and I was a bit of a business," he recalls. I found out that the two of us actually liked the same writer. Earlier, I found a new writer whose work is very similar to the style of the writer we liked, and I had the new author's books at home, and I wanted to give them to that client as a gesture of kindness. I took the book to the office, packed it and sent it to him. ”

Later, the two of them often talked about the writer and other topics together. What the salesman didn't expect was that he ended up receiving a lot of business from this customer. Although the lunch was a stumbling idea for the salesman, it brought a lot of opportunities for his business.

There is also a salesman who sends something to customers every quarter. Instead of sales advertisements, he sent them some other information about the customer. For example, if he sees an article in a newspaper or magazine about his client, or information about their industry, he thinks his client will be interested, so he collects it for them.

When customers have birthdays, he calls them and sends birthday cards. Through these contacts outside of business, the salesman has always maintained a good relationship with his customers, and when the salesman has something to find them, they are always willing to cooperate, and they are willing to introduce more business to the salesman. Making friends should have been "burning more incense in your spare time". Lack of necessary contact, after a long time, no matter how strong the relationship will slowly become estranged, no matter how good the friend will become, will become emotionally indifferent, and then go to ask someone to do business, there will be some estrangement unconsciously.

Maybe you don't need help from others right now, and you need to keep in touch with them at all times. If you only think of reaching out to them when you need their support, it won't be long before they feel taken advantage of. Rather than getting their help, it can easily damage the relationship you have already built. There is a book in France called "The Essentials for Little Statesmen", in which it teaches those who want to make a difference in their careers that they must collect at least 20 information about the people who are most likely to become prime ministers in the future, and need to memorize them well, and then visit these people regularly and on time, and maintain a good relationship with them, only in this way, when any of these people become prime ministers, it is naturally easy to think of you, then, it is very likely that you will be asked to take up the post of minister. This may seem too scheming and not very clever, but it is very realistic, and one politician mentioned in his memoirs that a man appointed to form a cabinet was very anxious at the beginning of his appointment. Because a government has at least seven or eight cabinet members, how can you find so many people to suit you? This is indeed a difficult thing, because in addition to the appropriate talents and experience, the most important point of the selected person is to "have some friendship with himself".

It is human nature to trust people who have friendships, because they have friendships with each other, so they understand each other and trust each other, if there is no friendship between each other, how to understand each other, and what trust can we talk about if we don't understand each other?

Chinese people often say something like this after sitting down at the door: "Nothing to do is not to go to the Three Treasures Hall." In fact, this is a clear example of how communication skills are not at home.

People who are good at socializing will go to the "Three Treasure Hall" when they have nothing to do, and they will pay attention to keeping in touch with people on weekdays. Because they know that if they have to wait until something is going on to find someone, it will inevitably seem too utilitarian and may be offensive.

If a colleague who hasn't been in touch with you for a long time suddenly calls you and asks you to help him borrow a huge amount of money, then I am afraid that you will not only feel embarrassed, but even extremely unhappy.

In fact, the longer your relationships with others last and the more connections you have, the deeper and more benefits you will receive. And a positive, strong relationship naturally involves both giving and giving, and if you can keep in touch with them when you don't need them, they will be happy to help you when you really need it.

Keep in touch with people often, even if your contact details are as simple as greetings: "How are you?" "Your child should be in junior high school, right?" How's it going? "When will you come to me, how about we have dinner together?" Or an email, a phone call, a postcard, it will make them feel very relatable.