The second element of happiness is my personality.

In many chicken soups for the soul, it is a widely circulated saying that character determines fate.

I don't know what others think, but at least I agree with this sentence.

Since I was a child, I have never had any envy, regret and other problems that can easily lead to spiritual regrets, which I have always felt is very important.

I know a lot of people, no matter from which point of view, they should be considered successful people in the general sense, some of them are in important positions, some of them have a lot of money, some have successful careers, some have outstanding children, but they have no sense of security in their hearts, which is manifested in the fact that when they grow up, they always want to prove themselves through something, to prove that they are doing well, to prove that they are better than others, to prove that they are outstanding......

Personally, I think the main reason for this phenomenon is that they lack something important in their childhood.

Some lack of learning, some lack of material, some lack of care, some live in the shadow of other people's children, etc., the most fundamental reason why they always want to prove that they live better than the people around them or the people around them is a serious lack of self-confidence.

I put it down to low self-esteem, there are many such people.

In fact, not all people with the above deficiencies will have such problems.

The people who have problems just feel that others will care about what they lack.

In fact, they really think too much, except for their parents and relatives, no one will really care about a person who is not very related to them, and no one even finds what they think is lacking. They just made up a scene where others looked down on them, and then they kept substituting them in the days that followed, torturing themselves with their own interpretation of other people's movements, eyes, and achievements.

Not once, but over and over again.

Then continue to find ways to prove yourself.

Cycle!

It's not necessarily right, and it's really not aimed at a certain person, so don't sit in the right seat. If someone is seated, it means that I am right, even if it is simply to prove that I am not right, everyone should not be seated.

It's a bit of a mouth-twister!

In fact, Mr. Yi Zhongtian once concluded in his book "Chinese History 4 - Youth Chronicles": "From the Western Zhou Dynasty and the Eastern Zhou Dynasty to the Spring and Autumn Period, it is the youth of our nation, and the people at that time had a true temperament and true blood, so they were affectionate and righteous, and dared to love and hate. It was also the second time I saw this paragraph that I understood why he chose "an assassin who kills himself, a lover who pursues true love, a warrior who does not hesitate, a loyal courtier, an envoy who turns the tide, and a ghost and god full of human feelings" as the material to write about this youth of our Chinese nation. Only by thinking about the future can we have hope. Only with hope can we forge ahead. This embodies the spirit and spirit of our Chinese nation.

It also proves the importance of one's teenage years.

Speaking of Greek art, it was said that an adult could no longer become a child. But, doesn't the innocence of children make him happy? Shouldn't he be on a higher ladder and reproduce his own truth? Isn't the inherent character of a people innocently resurrected in every age in its childlike nature? Why should the historical human childhood, where it is at its most perfect, not show its permanent charm as a stage to which it will never return?

Mr. Yi said, "Of course it should. ”

Tian Housheng also said: "Of course it should." ”

That's why I've always believed that a person's childhood experiences can affect him for the rest of his life.

I also confirm that only when one understands this childhood experience of mine will one know why I am different from others!

Anyone who has been in contact with me and knows me well basically knows that I have two very important personality traits.

One of them is that I never complain.

I guess no one heard me complain about anything.

In this state of mind, I naturally have a lot more opportunities to be happy than many people, and of course it will increase my happiness.

In fact, regarding the mentality, my wife has always despised me, and she always said that I was not atmospheric enough.

I was very unconvinced at first hearing.

I always say that I have never taken the initiative to provoke trouble, and basically others provoke me first, but after thinking about it all these years, she has a point.

As a Scorpio, I still sometimes care about other people's mistakes, other people's low quality, and other people's ignorance......

Hong Yingming, a scholar of the Ming Dynasty, said in his collection of quotations on cultivation, life, life, and birth: "I am a big furnace, why should I be stubborn gold and blunt iron cannot be melted." I am a huge sea of the Yangtze River, and I can't accommodate it. "It means that if I am a steelmaking furnace, why worry that the stubborn stone and blunt iron cannot be melted by me, and if I am really the giant sea and the Yangtze River, why worry that the trickle and dirt cannot be accommodated by me.

You still have to practice!

You have to often memorize the above words, so that you can become a Honglu Daye and a giant sea of the Yangtze River!

My second important personality that increases my sense of happiness is difficult to describe, and if I have to find a word that can express it, it should be a unique concept of willingness.

Since I took piano, chess, calligraphy and painting as a necessary hobby for my own elegance (the specific situation will be explained in detail in the second section of the fourth chapter of the article, "The Reincarnation of "Poetry Immortals"), I have added some more one after another, and it has gradually become the nine major items in my current literary catalog.

If you have good, you will give up.

Personally, I think life is about constantly taking, taking, giving some, keeping some, and then taking, receiving, giving some, and keeping some...... The process of continuous circulation, until the end of the year, when you can't take anything, you lose all the original gains, and that's when it's Game over.

Curtain call!

Get out!

Gone forever when no one in this world can remember you again!

There's no trace of you ever being there again.

Some of this is something that I got by accident!

Some of the taks are obtained by their own efforts!

Some of them are pies that fall from the sky and fall on your head, and you can't do it if you don't want to.

Of course, energy is conserved, and so is she.

Some of the sacrifices are unintentionally lost, because you didn't think they were at the time, and they all boil down to what we call regret (usually this expression goes something like this: I was ...... If only I had ..... ）！

Some of the sacrifices are given up by yourself, such as people, things, or things you don't like!

Some sacrifices are passive or forced to give up, such as life, health, memory, and so on......

I am also an ordinary person, and there will inevitably be a trade-off between active and passive.

There are two most important trade-offs in my initiative.

One of them is that I took the initiative to give up, and it is very special that this sacrifice in particular is precisely what others think should be left behind, so it is still incomprehensible to this day.

It may be that since the loss of the position of class president in kindergarten, although I did not compete but did not win, I have no interest in politics, which can also be seen from my habit of taking group photos, under normal circumstances, if I do not meet a responsible photographer, my position in the group photo is easy to find, and the last row is either the far left or the far right. If you meet the person in charge, there is no way, he always has to let a taller one stand in the middle, this is really not Versailles, I wear 3cm heels on the 1.8 meters tall really can't stand on the edge of the same row......

Always off-topic, the book is back to business.

Many people will say that I can't get grapes to put gold on my face, and I love to say whatever I want.

Just as Ding Yuanying in "The Distant Savior" did not explain to anyone (including Rui Xiaodan's colleagues, including Rui Xiaodan's father) why he did not dissuade or even say anything after answering Rui Xiaodan's last call, in the end, he only told Rui Xiaodan's confidant Xiao Yawen six words "Because she is a policeman", in fact, I prefer to change this sentence to eight words "Because she was a policeman at the time", when he called, it was Ding Yuanying's true love, and after he put down the phone, he was the people's guard......

Judging from here, Rui Xiaodan's father really knows his daughter far less than Ding Yuanying.

Of course, from another point of view, I am far inferior to Ding Yuanying, because Ding Yuanying does not explain to others at all, but I explain here why I don't go into politics, which is worse than the realm.

I have to keep practicing!

I digress again.

In 1999, when I was not confused, the most important thing I did at that time and can be said to affect my life was that I spent at least a week to make a review of my 30 years of time, and carefully analyzed myself, although it was not written, but it did have a far-reaching impact, and one of the most important decisions was to give up politics and follow my heart to do what I liked.

No more explanations.

The other most important trade-off for me is reluctance.

Although I have won awards for almost all of my hobbies, even my least favorite chess game, I have won two consecutive individual championships, but none of them have been perfect. Therefore, many friends have advised me to be more dedicated more than once, and I specially answered this question in the article "Abide by the Heart ~ After Reading" written on May 16, 2018, which is excerpted as follows:

It's not that no one has spoken about me, but I've always been stubborn and persistent because what I've learned is what I like.

I often reply to the arguments of these well-wishers: if I focus all my energy on one of them, I will inevitably achieve much higher results than I have now (the so-called results, the competition category is nothing more than a high-level award, and the study is nothing more than a better well-known university), but I am sure that even if I have focused on one of these things since I was born: Wen will not be in the eyes of the Nobel Academy of Letters, and it will not be possible for the ball to participate in the Olympic qualifying trials, and I will not be able to keep Mobao in the collection of the Forbidden City. It is not possible to be on the podium of the Vienna Musikverein when there is an audience, and it is impossible to put important instructions in front of anything you say on any occasion...... If you think about it, the most likely thing is that a certain photographic film may be selected for National Geographic magazine, and it depends on chance, and that's it!

So why should I give up anything I love?

Let's stay the course!

After all, these are the things I love!

I'm willing to work hard for it!

Just like Mike. As Medvo said, "There will always be something that makes you willing to get out of bed every morning and work for it, and become the driving force of your life!" ”