In late January 2005, with the arrival of the winter vacation, Amei returned to Quanzhou from Wuyi Mountain, and I returned to my hometown from Fuzhou. At that time, my heart was full of anticipation, and the passion in my heart was like a rushing river, which never stopped.

The first few days I returned home, I always hid in my room and listened to Aaron Kwok's "Call of Love" repeatedly while texting with Aaron Kwok. The song echoed in my ears, and I couldn't help but hum to myself, "Even if the world and the starry sky change every day, love you more will not be reduced by half". However, whenever I think of the upcoming meeting with Amei, my mood is like a sparrow on the eaves, and I can't stop making trouble.

My mom noticed my abnormality and asked me why I didn't come out of the living room to watch TV, and I replied perfunctorily, saying that I needed to review my homework in my junior year. My mother must have remembered that half a year ago, when I almost forgot to eat or sleep in order to watch the Olympic Games, so she was full of doubts about my answer. I often peeked into the inner room through the gap in the curtain (the room I lived in at the time had no door, only covered by a curtain), but it was repeatedly caught by my sensitive eyes. In order to disguise the reading scene, I pretended to open the book, but in fact, there was a picture of Amei under the book.

Mom seems to have seen some clues. One day, when I was out for dinner, she asked me straight to the point: "Adi, how is your relationship with Amei developing now?" ”

Without thinking, I replied, "Not bad!" ”

Mom continued to ask, "When are you going to see her?" ”

"It's going to be a few days!" After saying that, I suddenly felt the roots of my ears burn.

Mom sensibly reminded: "It's a holiday, take more time to meet her." When you go to her house, don't forget to bring something. I'll give you 500 yuan as a ...... for expenses."

After saying that, my mother took out the money she had prepared in advance from her pocket and stuffed it into my hand with a smile.

With my mother's encouragement and support, I was determined to meet Amei and put the matter on the agenda.

Later that evening, after several rounds of psychological battles, I finally mustered up the courage to send a text message to Ame, telling her that I planned to visit her home the next day. After texting, I breathed a sigh of relief, but the tension still lingered.

Unexpectedly, she replied in seconds: "Don't come!" ”

At that time, I didn't dare to ask her what the reason was, but I only speculated in my heart: this may be normal, for a girl, the first date with the boy she likes, must be more shy.

In the evening, I couldn't help but send her another text message: "Amei, I'll be at your house at about nine o'clock tomorrow morning, and we'll see you there!" ”

She didn't reply. But I naively thought it was her wordless acquiescence.

When night came, there was silence outside the window, and the starry sky twinkled, as if countless bright eyes were watching me. My heart was like a drum beating on the go, and I tossed and turned, unable to sleep.

So, I simply got up, took out a pen and paper, and kept writing down various questions and answers that might arise when the two met.

I tried to figure it out: how should I begin? What questions might she ask me? How do I answer appropriately? How do I get the right tone of voice? …… I only hate that I am not a student of the acting department, I don't know how to act on the spot, and I am scratching my head and ears at the moment, which is very brain-draining.

Although, I also recalled the pickling skills that Ah Yi taught me, especially the classic doctrine of "men are not bad, women are not loved...... However, the more I thought about it, the more inappropriate it became, after all, this was the first time we had met alone, and if it was broken so quickly, it would be too quick to achieve quick success, at least it would not be able to pass the first level in my heart.

The next day I woke up early and dressed up in front of the mirror. This time, I conscientiously learned the lesson of the first meeting, within the controllable range of my personal aesthetics, according to the characteristics of the season, put on a more decent thick cotton coat with a white scarf, and repeatedly checked my shoes, for fear that it would go wrong at a critical moment.

Walking on the road, the cold sky was glowing with a hint of red, and the earth was immersed in wisps of cold. Suddenly, a ray of sunlight, through the gap of the mist, thousands of rays of light and shadow, sprinkled on the world.

Sitting in the car, my heart was like fifteen buckets of water fetching water seven up and eight times, and I couldn't calm down for a long time. Even though I had rehearsed in my head last night, I was still worried about what the two of us would say when we met.

When I got downstairs to her house, I happened to meet a resident who went downstairs to throw garbage, so I easily passed the first hurdle.

However, when I arrived at her door, my palms began to sweat, and I stood in front of the doorbell for a long time, not daring to press it. I wondered, if she came out to open the door, where should I look at her?

Eventually, I mustered up the courage to press the doorbell with trembling fingers, and as a crisp bell rang, I felt my heart beat sharply and my blood pressure spike instantly.

The door slammed open, and a beam of light shone on me, like a longed-for light in the boundless darkness, and my heart trembled. When I looked up in a panic, I saw another girl (she was Amei's younger sister and was in her second year of high school at the time).

Seeing me, she was a little restrained and asked in a low voice, "Are you looking for my sister?" ”

I hesitated for a moment, then nodded and said, "Yes!" ”

Xiaomei said a little dazedly: "My sister is not here!" ”

I asked uneasily, "Do you know where she went?" ”

Xiaomei said: "She went to Quanzhou!" ”

I continued to ask uneasily, "Did she say when she would be back?" ”

The little sister replied: "She didn't say, do you want to come in and sit?" ”

At that time, the tension and enthusiasm intertwined in my heart were instantly extinguished by this sudden "ice rain", and I suddenly felt empty and overwhelmed.

However, I didn't know how I could be unusual, and I actually promised my little sister: "Okay, I'll go in and sit down!" ”

In fact, at that time, I was very complicated, I wanted to go in and wait for Amei, hoping that she would come back soon, and I also wanted to rule out whether she was deliberately playing peek-a-boo with me - when I entered the house, she suddenly came out to surprise me. After all, I had already greeted her in advance in last night's text message.

When I entered the house, my hopes were dashed, and I called Amei's phone, but no one answered.

It was the twenty-second day of the lunar month, and because my uncle and aunt were still in Shenzhen and had not come back, in order to prepare for the New Year, my younger brother and younger sister were busy cleaning the house. After pouring me a glass of water, my little sister continued to work, and I was embarrassed to sit down alone and come forward to help clean up.

While wiping the tables and chairs in the living room with a rag, I imagined how nice it would be if Amei was here at the moment and everyone would work together! It was the scenario I had always dreamed of, but it fell short in reality!

Thousands of doubts came to her heart: why did she go to Quanzhou? Who did she go to Quanzhou to meet? Or does she have something urgent to attend to? If there was something urgent, why didn't she tell me in advance? ……

In the end, I had no choice but to choose "Ah Q" and tell myself from a different angle: It's okay, today is not in vain, at least I can leave a good impression on my little brother and sister! When Ame returns, they will praise her on my good deeds; Besides, when my uncle and aunt come back in a few days, they may still say good things about me to the two elders. Doesn't this greatly increase your chances of winning in the future?

On the way back, the cold wind outside was a bit chilly, and I felt a little shivering all over.

Sitting in the car, I felt lost in my heart, and I couldn't help but text Amei: "Why did you go to Quanzhou?" ”

After about half an hour, she replied: "I'm going to Quanzhou to do something!" ”

I kept wondering, what the hell is going on?

It wasn't until one day two months later that I learned that she went to Quanzhou, not to do errands, but to find someone!

Liking is presumptuous, and it often makes people unreasonable. Two days later, I went to look for her again.

In order to step on the "door" to find plums, I made various preparations in advance. At that time, I kept thinking in my heart that the second date should be different from the first. As for how it was different, I only thought of roses.

I remember reading Rabindranath Tagore's poem about roses: "It is a savage whisper that makes you remember forever the fragrance of the past, that is the fingers of love, constantly beating the keys of spring". Sending roses, although they are the same, is an eternal symbol of love.

In order to buy roses, I went to Zhangban Street a day in advance and searched everywhere. At that time, there was only one flower shop on Zhangban Street, and it was very inconspicuous. The packaged flowers in the store may be a little wrinkled because they are not salable.

When I approached Rose, a fat woman about forty years old shouted at me, "Handsome man, are you in love?" To send a girlfriend, choosing roses is the most suitable! ”

I felt a little embarrassed and asked shyly, "Boss, how much is a rose?" ”

The proprietress replied enthusiastically: "Ten yuan a flower." ”

I looked at the three roses left on the shelf and asked, "Are these the only three?" Is there anything new? ”

The proprietress asked rhetorically, "Handsome guy, how many do you want?" ”

I pondered for a moment and replied, "One! ”

The proprietress suddenly said flatly: "That's all, the fresh ones are more expensive, and they will be in stock tomorrow!" ”

At that time, I was eager to buy one of the roses, which looked a little fresher.

When I got home with the flower, I happily sent a message to Ame: "I'll go to your house tomorrow morning to find you!" ”

This time, she quickly replied: "Didn't you come the day before yesterday?" ”

I said, "I didn't see you that day, no!" ”

She then replied, "Whatever! ”

……

When she came back from school, she was like this, and her attitude towards me suddenly became cold, which was in stark contrast to our previous "intimate" interaction on text messages.

At that time, I pondered: maybe this is normal, after all, girls are subtle, not to mention that the virtual world is different from reality, and she must always be given some time to adapt!

Therefore, I took the ambiguous "whatever" in her text messages as the "okay then" that she readily accepted!

The next day, I came to her house with mixed feelings. This time, it was still the little sister who opened the door, but she didn't wait for me to ask, and took the initiative to confess: "My sister is at home!" ”

When I heard this, my heart was as sweet as honey, but I became nervous for a moment, and I felt the blood rushing to my face.

When I entered the house, I saw Amei sitting in the living room watching TV. She wore a simple ponytail and a white sweatshirt with a pair of dark blue jeans, and sat there, as if she was waiting for me to arrive.

When I walked up to her, my heart beat like a drum, and the muscles on my face tensed, as if frozen by the cold wind. She looked up at me, her cheeks flushed slightly, and she said with a slight restraint, "You're here!" ”

I tried to adjust my breathing, but I could only hold back one word: "Hmm! ”

She motioned for me to sit down.

I plucked up the courage to take out the rose from the bag, handed it to her with a little trembling, and said shyly, "Amei, this is the flower I gave you." ”

Amei looked at me, then glanced at the flower in my hand, and said uncomfortably, "Why did you give me this?" ”

I stubbornly said, "This is a little bit of my heart." "As everyone knows, this heart is a bit wrinkled!

She reluctantly took the rose and hurriedly placed it in the corner of the couch, letting it disappear from sight. At that time, I couldn't help but feel a sense of loss.

In order to alleviate the embarrassment of the scene, she poured me a cup of hot water. I squeezed the glass of water in my hand, so that those hands that were at a loss finally had a place to put it. Luckily, the cup is made of glass, otherwise I would have to make a shape.

After a moment of silence, the air became a little solidified, and she said embarrassedly, "Have you eaten?" ”

I replied mechanically, "Eat!" "It was as if the mouth had been sealed with duct tape from the frozen air.

In addition to the disadvantage of sending flowers, what makes me uneasy is: why can't our conversations always play according to the questions I conceived in advance? If this continues, it will be messed up again today!

Suddenly, I didn't know where I got the courage, and decisively followed the words I had prepared on paper a few days ago, and took the initiative to say, "Amei, let's go out for a walk, shall we?" ”

Hearing this, she responded with a little flustery: "No need, we're fine here!" ”

I paused, blushed, and said, "The air outside is fresh, and it's more natural to 'communicate'. ”

The reason why I "paused" for a moment was because I was trying to remember the part that I had marked with a red pen the other day—the technique of responding to rejection. Among them, the word "communication" is the consequence of reading from the script, which is particularly written; On the other hand, I didn't take into account the change in the actual situation, because it was also cold outside, in addition to the so-called fresh air!

Sure enough, she said with a little embarrassment: "It's cold outside!" ”

I insisted, "You wear more!" ”

At my repeated invitations, she reluctantly agreed to go out with me.

As originally planned, I asked her to go to Hui'an Keshan Park, which is about a kilometer away from her home. For the choice of this park, I compared several large and small attractions in the county in advance, carefully weighed the pros and cons of each, and finally decided that this park is the most suitable for strolling.

At that time, it was cold and cold outside, and Amei was so cold that she shivered, and her lips were even a little purple. However, my forehead was oozing with sweat, which made me feel even colder under the cold wind.

Walking along the road, I tried to walk side by side with her, but I found myself stiff in my limbs, like a robot being controlled.

After walking for a while, we all remained silent, as long and silent as a winter night. In the end, she took the initiative to break the deadlock: "What have you been doing in the past few days when you have been home?" ”

Like a landlubber in the water that has been given a lifebuoy, and like a child who has won an exam, I replied with a little relaxation: "In the past few days since I came back, in addition to reading at home, I just sent you text messages, and this is all I have every day." ”

"If you do these two things a day, don't you have to eat and sleep?" Ame showed a rare smile, but it was different from the natural and brilliant when they first met.

After a few words of greeting, the previous awkward atmosphere eased slightly.

At that time, I wondered how happy I would be if I could hold her hand!

Thought is the guide to action. So I tried my best to preset various reasonable directions left and right, looking up and down for the best time, and finally I approached her head-on. Although we were very close, my hands were stiff and unresponsive, like a paralyzed man who suffers from immobility.

Walking to Keshan Park, we climbed up the stone steps. In fact, feelings are like mountaineering, only when the two are in the same pace, can they move forward side by side and enjoy the scenery on the road together. If one of them is only concerned with speeding up, the other may be exhausted. Many times, you think that the other person will always wait for you, but in fact, the other person has long left to pursue a better scenery.

In a stone pavilion in the middle of the mountain, we sat down to rest. Looking at the stone wall, there are cliff stone carvings from the Song and Ming dynasties to modern times, the size of the characters is staggered, and the strokes are vigorous and powerful, which is the witness of history. I longed that if I could stroke the ends of Amei's hair at this moment, it would become an eternal memory in my heart.

I even boldly fantasized about how happy I would be if I could hug her! Although there is no snow in winter in Quanzhou, it is very suitable for creating the romantic atmosphere of "Winter Love Song". Although they still lack a deep emotional foundation for each other as a traction, if this hug can bring a little warmth to Amei, it can be regarded as a good deed.

The imagination is plump, but the reality is skinny. Not only is Amei not as generous and enthusiastic as when they first met, but she even looks as cold as the weather outside. And I, who was already restrained, saw this "sudden" situation, and the stiffness of my hands and feet became even worse.

At that time, we sat opposite each other on the stone chairs in the pavilion, bowing our heads and saying nothing. My heart was clogged like constipation, my mouth was more like stuffed, and the lines I had prepared in advance had become a pantomime here. The scene was quite embarrassing, and Amei no longer took the initiative to break the silence as before, but let the tense atmosphere spread around each other, even a bit like the Cold War between the United States and the Soviet Union.

Sometimes, we try to climb the stairs and try to elevate love to a certain height, only to find that everything has changed, the scenery has changed, and the mood has changed.

A "low" mountain with an altitude of less than 300 meters, we actually climbed for more than an hour, and this more than an hour is not only long, but also tormenting!

It was noon when we came down the mountain, and our stomachs were rumbling with hunger, so I asked her tentatively, "Amei, it's noon, what do you want to eat?" ”

Without thinking, she replied, "Whatever! ”

I suggested confidently: "There is a meat dumpling shop in front, how about we go and eat meat dumplings?" ”

Ame nodded.

So, we walked straight into the old meat dumpling shop not far down the mountain. This meat dumpling shop is famous for its delicious taste, and I visited my dad with him when I came to the county seat to see him when I was a child.

When I walked into the store, I suddenly enthusiastically guided Ah Mei to take a seat, and this deliberate enthusiasm probably made the other customers next to me think that I was a waitress in the store.

After ordering, we all bowed our heads and said nothing. There were no smartphones at the time, so I could only stare at the old menu on my desk, as if trying to proofread the typos on it. Occasionally raised her head, but caught a glimpse of Amei's face a little red, and her eyes were fixed on the transparent toothpick holder on the table.

After the food was served, we all felt uncomfortable eating. I was as hard as if I was taking some kind of bitter medicine, and the only good thing was that I could swallow the tense saliva in my throat with the act of eating.

After the meal, I walked to the cashier to settle the bill, but Amei stepped forward and rushed to pay. At that time, we were engaged in a "tug-of-war" at the cash register, which caused the cashier aunt to smile and say, "Why are you boyfriends and girlfriends so polite?" ”

I couldn't help but lower my head, only to feel a burning sensation on my face. I'm not sure if Amei feels the same way as me, but I heard her keep saying, "You came to the county seat to find me, I should come for a treat!" ”

I couldn't resist her, and she paid anyway. This made my previous deliberate enthusiasm seem particularly "deliberate", and my face suddenly became hotter.

I stammered speechless.

I don't understand, why is she so "positive"? Maybe she was moved by me running all the way from the countryside to the county seat to see her? Maybe she thinks of herself as the "host", so she will be the first to pay the bill?

However, regardless of the reason, it all made me realize that in the real world, we are so unfamiliar, which is completely different from the virtual world of mobile phone text messaging!

On the way back, the cold wind outside was still cold, it was dark and dreary, and my heart was even more cloudy and rainy, and I kept blaming myself for being so uncompromising!