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......

Tai Bai Xing smiled and asked me to sit down, and said to the immortals: "You can report the magical powers you are good at one by one for the Dao Monarch to choose." ”

The oldest immortals took the lead, and Emperor Tianguan Yao had previously opposed the change, and at this time, the one who atonement for his sins first said: "The heavenly official blesses, the earth official forgives the sin, and the water official relieves the misfortune, and the three of us can convict the guilty and bless, bless and eliminate the disaster." ”

Feudal superstition! I despise it in my heart, you really have to have this ability, where are there so many bad people and bad things in the world?

Seeing that I didn't think so, Tai Baixing said: "This is a god-given priesthood, and it is very learnable. Yue Lao, Zhou Gong, and the mother who sent the child are all the same, so let's skip it first. ”

In fact, I still really want to master the ability of Niu B to send a child: "Cure infertility, find the king of the sky." "It's hard for this Nima not to get rich, but it's a pity that the god-given priesthood can't be learned......

Zhao Gongming, the God of Wealth, was scolded back by me as soon as he took one step: "Zhao Gongming, last time you cheated me with 10,000 start-up funds!

Zhao Gongming's face was red and white for a while, and he hurriedly bowed down to apologize, "Daojun forgives the sin!" It's not that the little god doesn't do his best, it's just that this immortal barrier has greatly reduced my magical powers, and the effect is far less than before, and the little god is helpless." ”

"Okay, okay, forgive you. Say things that you are not sure about in the future in advance, so that this seat has a mental preparation. I waved my hand and sent Zhao Gongming away, shouting, "Next!"

Wang Chan's ancestor Guiguzi proudly stood out, "the sun and the stars are like latitude, divination and gossip, the art of war and strategy, and the art of vertical and horizontal." Which one does Daojun want to learn?"

"I know that you are very good, and I also know that your apprentices are all bunkers, but unfortunately your knowledge is not suitable for me. Next!"I can't memorize all the heavenly and terrestrial branches, learn a chicken feather divination gossip? And the art of war more than 2,000 years ago, and now there is still an egg to use? The art of vertical and horizontal is still a little useful, let's talk about it after I become ambassador to the United Nations, I can persuade the US imperialist to throw two more eggs at the little devil."

In fact, Wang Chongyang's innate skills, Lu Dongbin's swordsmanship, Zhang Sanfeng's Taijiquan, and Zhuge Liang's Qimen Dunjia all made me very excited, but unfortunately there are no decades of hard work or an IQ level far beyond ordinary people, so they are all free to talk about.

Seeing that more than half of the hundred and ten immortals had passed and still had nothing, I leaned on the armrest of the throne like a half-deflated ball, "I said that you don't have the kind of trick that you can learn in ten days and half a month, and once you learn it, it will take effect immediately? Those things that have to be learned for dozens or hundreds of years at every turn, when I learn them, will our Heavenly Court still be there? Are the immortals still there?"

The immortals hesitated and muttered, and discussed for a while. A yellow-robed Taoist leader came out of the class and said: "If the Dao Monarch wants to achieve it quickly, Weichen Zhang Daoling has a Heavenly Master Talisman or you can try it." ”

Zhang Daoling, Zhang Tianshi, Heavenly Master Talisman, I came to my senses and asked, "I have seen a lot of Taoist priests draw talismans to catch ghosts, how powerful is Zhang Tianshi's Heavenly Master talisman?"

Zhang Daoling said with a smile: "Exorcising ghosts and catching demons is nothing more than a small skill of carving insects. Fu Gong is a Taoist secret method, which is a letter that uses innate divine scripts to convey the will of the gods. You can summon gods and impeach ghosts, turn over rivers and seas, subdue demons and suppress demons, and cure diseases and disasters. And it is easy to learn, with the supreme talent of Daojun, it only takes ten days and a half to master. ”

"Okay, good, just learn this Heavenly Master Talisman!" I excitedly picked up Zhang Daoling and left, "Scatter the dynasty, let's go back first and think about where to start the reform, and then we will have a meeting in a few days." ”

......

Taoist talismans are said to be the first judgment of heaven and earth by the ancient gods from the understanding of heaven and earth between the formation of the language and graphics and texts of dialogue with heaven and earth, commonly used are peace charms, marriage charms, Tai Sui fortune charms, five road fortune charms, town house prosperity charms...... Niu B's has a demon subduing charm, a Dingjia mountain moving charm, and a five-thunder Zhenyue charm...... And so on and so forth

"Hold it!" I laughed and shouted on TV: "Taishang Laojun is as anxious as a law!"

Zhang Daoling said with a smile: "It seems that Daojun is no stranger to my Taoist talisman." ”

"Wait a minute!" I suddenly realized an extremely serious problem, "You said that this talisman is a talisman to communicate with the gods, and its main function is to ask the gods to do it?"

"Exactly. ”

"Then let me ask you: Where is the old man Taishang Laojun? Where are the gods and Buddhas in the sky......? The immortals have all been wiped out, who will please be as anxious as the law with me?"

"This ......," Zhang Daoling opened his mouth and stammered, his face was red.

"What is this, you can perform a Five Thunder Zhenyue Fu with me first!"

“......”

......

Yes........................................................................................................................

Don't get me wrong, this is not my shouting on the way down, but a vent of extreme frustration. I can't do anything empty-handed, what am I going to do? Donate a kidney?

Who is playing a song with the pipa?

Maple Leaf dyes the story, and I see through the ending

I'll lead you through the ancient road outside the fence

In the years of desolation, even the breakup was silent

......

Qingxia Zixia is empathetic, seeing that I was depressed, I took a pipa to relieve my boredom, but unfortunately what fairy song they played was not interesting, I simply taught them to play a song "East Wind Breaking"

"If Jiangdong Xiao Qiao is here today, it is better to accompany Zhou Lang with Fuqin. "I've been messing with these guys for a long time, and I've become sour and sour, what do you think of my poem?

"Good poetry, good poetry! Daojun is so literary!" Mozi slapped a fart from afar, and Lu Ban next to him was holding a big kite.

I arched my hand and asked, "Are you two going on an outing to fly a kite?"

Lu Ban replied: "This is a wooden kite, and it does not need rope traction to take off into the sky." ”

"Oh, it turned out to be playing with model airplanes. Let's go, I'll be idle anyway. ”

Mozi said with a smile: "The two of us didn't come to Banmen to get an axe, but wanted to ask Daojun: that ...... How could an airplane carrying hundreds of people fly thousands of miles away? How could such a heavy plane fly over the white clouds?"

Oh, it turned out that you were looking for me to do scientific research, but it's a pity that you found the wrong person, not only did Ben Daojun not know how to build an airplane, but he was so poor that he never even took a plane...... But this does not prevent me from pretending to be B: "This is too complicated, involving physics, aerodynamics, aeronautical materials science and many other scientific knowledge, it is difficult to achieve it in less than thirty or fifty years." "Lao Tzu has never played real planes, but the game is not less, "EVE", "Ace Air Combat", "World of Fighters", "War Thunder" brother is very playful6!

The two ancient scientists were really stunned by me, "Physics, aerodynamics, aeronautical materials...... The skills of the world are really broad and profound...... Dao Jun, can you order one or two?"

I'll pluck a yarn with you...... Comrade Song Wencong, chief designer of the J-10 aircraft, seems to have passed away not long ago, so let's see if you can invite him to the heavenly court to give guidance...... But just after loading B, it can't be debunked on the spot, so I have to continue to fool: "Let's teach you the simplest first, get a propeller on your head, and you can push the air to form power when you turn and turn, if you can make the plane speed break through the speed of sound, then it's done." ”

"Propeller...... Push the air ...... Wonderful!" Lu Ban slapped his thigh and admired.

"Sonic speed?" Mozi asked, confused.

"The speed of sound is the speed at which sound travels, 340 meters per second, uh...... It's almost a thousand feet in the blink of an eye. I explained.

I also like to see the gods petrified, just like the feeling they had when they went down to earth to pretend to bluff mortals "shocking the heavens". I'm a god now, uh...... This ideological consciousness has to keep up.

Mozi and Lu Ban went back to study the propeller with great interest, ready to challenge the speed of sound. I forgot to tell them that it is possible for jets to break through the speed of sound......

After sending Mozi Luban away, I started playing music with Qingxia Zixia again. These two fairies have very high musical attainments, and they have practiced very skillfully in half a day with a song "East Wind Breaking", and the pipa that has been thousands of years old has not been played in vain......

"Let's teach you another song "Blue and White Porcelain", the tone is almost the same. I'll sing it again, and you will write it down first. ”

Azure and other smoke and rain

And I'm waiting for you

Smoke rises

"Bang!" I fell to the ground, and the sky fell!

......

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