The water color of the imperial pond is good in spring, and the white jade canal is diverted everywhere.

The secret king knows the moon, and calls people to wash the skirt together.

-- Wang Jian's "Palace Ci" No. 46.

Long Jiaojiao is a woman, sometimes it is very troublesome, and sometimes it is very easy to fool, but in any case, Long Jiaojiao is also a woman, and she is a mature woman.

That night, Long Jiaojiao's aunt came.

At that time, when Daoist Fang entered the door, there were dozens of them outside the door, laughing Maitreya, marshmallows, and a group of palace maids, probing their brains and discussing a lot. Normally, as long as the little princess sleeps, she will sleep relatively deeply, like a dead pig, and she doesn't know if she takes it out of the bucket and puts it on the bed, and she sleeps until dawn, and no one has to worry about it at all. It's just a special period, that is, this period of menstrual affairs, it will become emotionally abnormal, irritable and irritable, and it seems that it is a complete change of person, and it is simply the six relatives who do not recognize it-

Generally, this kind of problem is solved by You Mei.

It can't be solved by others, and the little princess doesn't allow others to approach.

Now it's time for a changeover.

Replaced by Fang Daoist.

It's a daunting task, and everybody thinks so.

Of course, Daoist Fang didn't have any experience.

However, everyone thought that Daoist Fang would definitely be able to do it, because he was a wooden head

Daoist Fang stood at the head of the bed, his brows furrowed.

Long Jiaojiao lay on the bed, moaning in pain.

"Wooden head, I'm sick~~"

"Wooden head, my stomach hurts~~"

"Wooden head, I'm bleeding under it again~~"

"Oops~~Oops~~ It's really troublesome, why do you say it's so troublesome to be a woman. I'm not as good as that. It's better to die!"

"You go to die!" said Fang Daoist in his heart.

But I saw her frowning. Beads of sweat appeared on her pale little face, and Daoist Fang still poured her a bowl of hot water and brought it over: "Come, drink water, drink hot water and you'll be fine." ”

Drunk.

Stop for a while.

"I want to pee, I want to pee!"

Daoist Fang was shocked!

said that it was too late, it was fast, Long Jiaojiao picked up the quilt and shot out, wearing only obscene clothes and pants, looking for a bedpan-

Squatting on the ground to urinate.

Fang Yin turned his back.

There is a voice.

"Whew-" It's cool. Relieved: "Sizzle~~~~~"

Another time.

Long Jiaojiao quickly got back into the quilt, and there were two more things in the bedpan, which Daoist Fang had only seen before.

The band, white, with blood on it.

There is a taste.

Daoist Fang was a disciplined person, so he only glanced at it, and said helplessly: "Jiaojiao, you are sick, but I don't know how to see a doctor." In this case, I'll go find you ......."

"Sizzle~~sizzle~~" but. Long Jiaojiao didn't hear what he was saying at all: "Yes, yes, it's cold, it's cold, it's cold, wooden head, I suddenly thought of a question-"

You ask. ”

"Wooden head, you don't have a little cock, how do you pee?"

“......”

"A-Niang said that men pee standing and women pee squatting, and you are ......"

"I am, peeing on my stomach. "Wooden head, Mu Ran said.

"Ahh......h

"I'm a tortoise, tortoise, I've always been, urinating on my stomach. Fang Yin sighed secretly in his heart, this is still the end: "Okay, okay, you sleep, I ......"

"You come here, come here, come and tell me a story, sizzle~~" Long Jiaojiao is very cold now and needs a warm embrace: "Hug, hug me, hug me and talk." ”

It's a good idea.

Daoist Fang had no choice.

At this point, the iron tortoise shell was finally removed.

Fortunately, it didn't stick to the body.

The next moment.

"Once upon a time there was a mountain, and there was a view on the mountain, and there was a tree in the view, and there was a monkey in the tree. "The point is, Daoist Fang, now he is also worried about listening to the story, so he said it a little absent-mindedly: "This monkey is called one hundred and eight, married a daughter-in-law called Jiujiu, and Jiujiu gave birth to a child called Xiao One Hundred and Eight ......"

"Oh! child! I like children the most!" Don't you know, this story is too inappropriate, and it will be broken and ruined at once: "Wooden head, don't talk about it first, I have an idea, a good idea!" The idea is to have a child, for this matter Long Jiaojiao, this woman is thinking about it, and she can't forget it: "Listen, let's have a child, the two of us, let's have a child, and we will give birth now!"

Daoist Fang was speechless again.

It suddenly occurred to me that in her mother's story, her own family had not yet been born.

“...... Like, Daddy and Auntie, just like Iron Bull and Tiger Girl, lay a little iron egg, give birth to a little watermelon, and then, then, and then—"

Again, after selling the pass, Daoist Fang was annoyed: "What? and then what?"

"Then, play!" Long Jiaojiao, infinite longing, with a maternal glow on her face: "Children, it's the most fun, especially the children who have just been born, they don't know anything, they only know how to cry, that is, woo wow~~ woo wow~~ Really, what do you say he is crying, and no one bullies him, Ah Niang said I, Jiaojiao is different, I don't cry from birth, I know how to laugh, and I am very well-behaved." ”

"What are you laughing at?" Daoist Fang couldn't help but ask, "What's worth it for you, what's funny?"

"Yes, what am I laughing at?" Long Jiaojiao was dazed: "I, what are I laughing at?"

......

“...... One hundred and eight loves to eat chicken butts, little one hundred and eight loves chicken feet, one hundred and eight hugged little one hundred and eight, and this day came to Baicao Peak......"

Daoist Fang, who has not yet repented, is still talking about children, which reminds Long Jiaojiao: "By the way, wooden head, do you know how to give birth to children?"

This question, Daoist Fang can't say that he knows: "I don't know, I don't know~~"

But Long Jiaojiao knew.

It was because the wooden head didn't know, so Long Jiaojiao asked knowingly: "I don't know, let me tell you, this child, that is, it's just two people-"

Long Jiaojiao was not naïve, thinking that if she hugged her, hugged her, and kissed her, she would be born.

I don't think that the child is coming out of the navel, the squeaky nest, and so on.

Listen well: "Two people, you have to strip naked, hold each other, and be sure to keep one, a fixed posture, stay still." ”

Daoist Fang: "Then, a child was born." ”

Long Jiaojiao: "No, and then I got pregnant, and I waited for another ten months before the child could be born." ”

Then, added: "From where I pee." ”

“......”

"Wooden head, don't you know, this woman, in fact, giving birth to a child is a very painful thing!"

“......”

"I'm telling you, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts! You think, it's just a child, and it's just like that, so big, you want him to get out of that little hole......

“......”

"Therefore, it is not easy to be a woman, so men should let women and let women more. ”

"Yes!" Daoist Fang said bitterly, "That's, it must be!"

Then, he asked, "I have a question, what does it mean to stay in a fixed posture and not move?"

This is Daoist Fang, a keen and studious Daoist who is not ashamed to ask questions.

"Ahem!" Our teacher Long is also a tireless and instructive teacher: "Fixed, that is, a person in front of a person, under a person, not moving, that is, staying still!"

"So, exactly, who's up and who's down there?"

"Of course, women are on top and men are below. Long Jiaojiao, while thinking, said: "Most of the time, most of the time it is like this. ”

"Don't move?"

"Don't move, don't move, you must not move!"

“......”

"Got it?"

......

Daoist Fang, my heart is happy!

It is conceivable, it is completely conceivable, when the Dragon Sect Master and his goblin wife strip naked, roll into bed, and stage a love action movie-

Bang!

Daddy, Auntie, what are you doing here?

Can it move?

Can't move, don't move, absolutely can't move!

In fact, Long Jiaojiao is very coaxing.

You just talk to her, or tell her a story, and after a while, you will fall asleep while listening.

Or fall asleep while talking to yourself.

Although she is sick, although her stomach hurts, and although there is blood flowing underneath, Long Jiaojiao can be held as long as someone holds her.

Sweet dreams, comfortable heart.

Next, Daoist Fang, also go back to listen to the story.

It's a joy in my heart, and what's especially funny is that the vixen next door is eavesdropping at this time.

"Wooden head, you're so bad!" (To be continued......)