This is the first diary, not very long, nor pretentious, it sounds like a light and breezy record.

Fu Dingsi did not write at length in his diary how bad his mood was and how disappointed he was after learning the truth......

However, Ning Jiaoyi still read between the lines his despair and sadness.

He must have been desperate when he wrote this diary, right?

The desire to "live" is a human instinct, and who would want to disappear if it weren't for utter despair and no light in sight?

Ning Jiaoyi took a deep breath, and after reading the first diary, she was so uncomfortable, she didn't dare to imagine how she would read the next diary.

There were more than six months of records in the folder, and she would definitely not be able to finish reading them tonight.

Even if she could finish reading it, she was reluctant to read it all at once.

Before, Ning Jiaoyi had always thought that Fu Dingsi had left nothing behind when he left, but now she was very happy to suddenly find that he had left a folder of diaries.

It was probably the only thing he had left, and she didn't want to look at it all at once.

After reading the first diary, Ning Jiaoyi slowed down for a few minutes, and then clicked on the second one.

The second one was written after his first hypnotherapy.

[I did the first hypnosis today, but it didn't work.]

The result was predictable, and Eddie also said that it was impossible to achieve immediate results, so I was prepared for a long fight.

I didn't care, but she couldn't wait that long.

If I don't leave, she's really going to get a divorce.

If I disappeared for too long, she would have thought I was cowardly and couldn't afford to get a divorce, so she used this method to escape.

I don't really want her to think of me like that, because I already have a terrible image in her mind.

I'm gone, so she'll be happier. 】

Seeing this, Ning Jiaoyi covered her lips, tears streaming out of her eyes.

She couldn't control her emotions at all, and every sentence in this paragraph was poking at her sore spots.

[I want to send her a WeChat call today, think about it or forget it.

She doesn't want to see me now. Don't bother her anymore.

She should be very happy during the Spring Festival, Ning Suihe and the old man are accompanying her, which is very good.

In the afternoon, I suddenly wondered if I had been nice to her earlier, wouldn't it be like today.

It doesn't seem to be, because the person she likes is not me at all. 】

Ning Jiaoyi's tears fell even harder, her shoulders were shaking from crying, and the sobbing sound was getting louder and louder.

Ning Jiaoyi took a tissue and kept wiping her tears.

.........

After closing the second document, she suddenly felt that she didn't have the courage to continue reading......

If you look at it any longer, you'll probably be blind from crying tomorrow, right?

She has never been a person who is easily moved by words, and when she was reading before, many people around her would see tears, and Ning Jiaoyi never understood why this was so.

It's not that she won't be moved, it's just that she knows very well that those are just artistic expressions, and there is no need to be too involved.

She herself never imagined that one day, she would cry bitterly over the document.

In just a few hundred words, the account has already made her cry like this.

This diary is indeed very Fu Dingsi's style, although it is recorded every day, but it is only a simple record, and he rarely even says his feelings in the diary.

Occasionally, there is a sentence or two, and it is all a tone that does not care much.

But the more this happens, the more uncomfortable it becomes.

Ning Jiaoyi cried for more than ten minutes after reading the two documents, and then her nose was out of breath and her brain was also a little hypoxic.

She flipped it down, and there were many, many more that she hadn't read.

She thought she wouldn't have the courage to read it again tonight.

When Ning Jiaoyi was thinking this, the folder had already flipped to the end.

The last document in the folder, not named with a date.

The name of the document is only one word: letter.

When she saw this word, Ning Jiaoyi's right eyelid jumped.

Her instinct told her that the letter should have been addressed to her.

She pursed her lips and double-clicked, clicking on the document.

Obviously, there is much more text in this document than in the diary, several pages long.

Ning Jiaoyi fixed her attention on the screen and read it carefully word by word.

The letter was indeed addressed to her.

【Kyaukjiao:

I don't know if you'll be able to see this letter, but I'll just treat you as if I can't see it, so I can say everything I want to say.

I've been hypnotizing for almost five months, and recently I have a feeling of a soul floating above my head, and Dr. Eddie told me that this is a sign of successful hypnosis, and it is likely that the next time I go back, I will be completely gone.

I had been looking forward to that day, but when Dr. Eddie told me, I was a little reluctant to do so.

If you see me say that, you're going to call me a slut again.

But don't worry, even if I'm not reconciled, I'll leave.

I know you've never been happy with me, and I seem to have been making you sad and sad from the time you got married to the time you decided to divorce.

At first, I didn't understand why you would propose marriage to a man you'd met a few times, or why you would always want me to be nice to you.

But now I understand that if I like someone, I have expectations for that person, just like I am now.

You probably don't know, but for more than four months, I've been waiting for you to send me messages every day.

Even if you ask me for a divorce, as long as you contact me, I'll be very happy.

I check my phone when I wake up, and I can't see your messages, and I'm sad.

But what do I have to be sad about? You were expecting my feedback from you at the beginning, but I made you sad again and again. I deserve all this, I don't deserve you.

During this time, I saw a lot of images of you getting along with him during hypnosis.

I don't know if those things really happened.

But, he's nice to you, really good. It's better than I can't compare.

Seeing this, I felt that I had made the right choice to disappear, because I couldn't do that at all.

I also understand your hatred for me, whether I am the main personality or the sub-personality, I have seized the body of the person you love, and if it weren't for my appearance, he wouldn't have disappeared.

You're right, people like me don't deserve to be liked at all, I may not know what love is until I die, and I don't know how to behave when I love someone.

But I think it's right that I'm gone, and if I'm gone, it means that you can meet again, and you should be very happy then, right?

I want to make you happy, I wonder if this counts as the right way to like someone?

But even if you gave me an answer, I wouldn't have heard it.

I don't care if it's right or wrong.

If it's wrong, I apologize to you, I'm sorry, and ...... in the future I was going to say that I would pay attention to it in the future, but I found that I don't seem to have a future, so don't let a person who has disappeared affect your mood.

The six months I have been with you have been the happiest in my short three or four years of life.

Maybe you won't believe me when I say that, because I'm always impatient in front of you.

But then I thought about it, before you appeared, I was really like a robot, doing the same thing every day.

I don't know what I want, the Fu family arranged for me to be engaged to Ning Wanwan, so I went to get engaged to her, and the Fu family arranged for me to manage the company, and I went to manage the company.

I don't know if I really like these things, but because they told me I should, I did it.

I didn't think about what I really wanted.

But after you appeared, I didn't seem to be the same.

I feel like I'm always irritated by you, and that feeling of being out of control makes me feel like a different person.

It took me more than half a year to finally figure out what I wanted, but unfortunately it was too late.

I seem to have said too much, and when you read this letter, you probably feel sarcastically that I'm making excuses for myself.

Maybe so, I'm a cowardly and indecisive person myself.

But I want you to be happy, it's true.

I think he's coming back and you're going to be happy, because you miss him so much.

At this time, there should be no divorce formalities yet, and you are husband and wife.

I think he should make up for your wedding, the ring I gave you before was in the drawer of the bedroom of Xiyuan Villa, I forgot to dispose of it when I left, you can throw it away.

But I don't think you'll live in Xiyuan Villa.

Anyway, I'm sorry that my presence has forced you apart for so many years.

I hope my departure will make you happy again, I don't seem to have said it, you look really good when you laugh, I think you can smile so much all the time.

It's a bit of nonsense, I hope you are happy, I'm leaving. 】

.........

The letter was long, at least, compared to his diary.

Ning Jiao choked back tears and read the letter word by word.

The letter was dated and not named.

Ning Jiaoyi thought that he should have subconsciously felt that the name did not belong to him, so he couldn't write it.

There were tears on the keyboard, and Ning Jiaoyi couldn't cry.

He didn't even say a word of "goodbye".

Is it because you know they'll never see each other again?

He said that his disappearance would make her happy, why did he take it for granted?

Fu Qizheng and Dr. Eddie were right, he was a fool.

Ning Jiaoyi closed the computer and went upstairs in a daze.

She was a little emotionally broken, and when she went upstairs, she accidentally tripped and fell, grazed her knee, and hit a large bruise.

Ning Jiaoyi glanced down at the wound on her leg, a shocking wound, but she couldn't feel the pain.

Because there is a place that hurts more than the wound.

Ning Jiaoyi raised her hand to touch her chest, she gritted her teeth and stood up, limping and continuing to walk towards the bedroom upstairs.

When she returned to the bedroom, the wound on Ning Jiaoyi's knee was still bleeding, and the blood was dripping down all the way and falling on the soles of her feet.

Ning Jiaoyi came to the bathroom and rinsed the wound with cold water, and then wiped it casually with a wet paper towel a few times.

Now, she didn't have the heart to deal with the wound at all.

She had been crying for too long just now, and now her brain is a little deprived of oxygen, and her eyes are so painful.

After coming out of the bathroom, Ning Jiaoyi went back to bed and lay down.

She pressed her face to the bed and kept taking deep breaths, as if to find the presence of the person in this way.

However, she couldn't find any breath that belonged to him.

He really disappeared completely.

Thinking of the contents of his diary and the contents of the letter, Ning Jiaoyi grabbed the sheets under him.

"Why are you clever...... she gritted her teeth, her voice muffled and painful, "you have no idea what I want." ”

**

After Ruan Xiangyu rested for the night, the situation improved a lot.

The next day, Fu Dingsi's examination results will come out, and Ruan Xiangyu is naturally impossible to miss.

Early in the morning, Ruan Xiangyu came to Fu Dingsi's ward despite Fu Cheng's dissuasion.

There were only nurses guarding the ward.

After Ruan Xiangyu and Fu Cheng came over, they let the nurses leave first.

Ruan Xiangyu sat in front of the hospital bed and looked at Fu Dingsi, who was unconscious, and her voice choked again.

She asked Fu Cheng: "What did you say was wrong with Dingsi, why couldn't you wake up for so long...... With so many people waiting for him, he really doesn't care?"

"Even if he doesn't care about us, then what about Ning Jiaoyi? doesn't he care about her the most, Ning Jiaoyi guards him every day, why doesn't he wake up......" Ruan Xiangyu raised his hand and wiped a handful of tears.

"Okay, don't cry yet, and see what the results of the examination have to say in a while. Fu Cheng took out a tissue and wiped Ruan Xiangyu's tears, "He is not in danger of life, he may just want to sleep a little longer, wait for the doctor to analyze it, maybe it is really related to the previous hypnosis." ”

"You say...... Could it be that he will be another person after waking up?" As soon as Fu Cheng's words came out, not only did he not comfort Ruan Xiangyu, but made her even more worried.

Ruan Xiangyu wiped her tears and said: "Don't do this, I can't stand the toss, I regret leaving that sub-personality back then, if I hadn't done that then, he wouldn't hate me so much now......"

Ruan Xiangyu remembered the time when Fu Dingsi took Ning Jiaoyi back to draw a line with them before,

What he said was so ruthless that he sounded completely unconcerned about the so-called mother-son relationship.

Ruan Xiangyu knew that he hated her to death.

Not only because she used to dislike Ning Jiaoyi, but also because she ruined his ego and left that sub-personality without any ideas.

During this time, Ruan Xiangyu regretted it every day.

If she hadn't made that wrong decision at the beginning, Ning Jiaoyi and Fu Dingsi would not have come to this point, and Fu Dingsi would not have been injured and lying here unconscious.

And the kid from the beginning......

These things came up one after another, and Ruan Xiangyu cried even more.

"I shouldn't have left that personality, he shouldn't exist at all, Fu Cheng, what if he comes back? Do you think he will come back? I'm really scared......" Ruan Xiangyu was so emotional that she was already a little incoherent.

However, Fu Cheng could understand what she meant.

After Fu Cheng listened to Ruan Xiangyu's words, his expression became a little more serious.

He thought for a while, and then said to Ruan Xiangyu: "Let's ask the doctor who hypnotized him later, Qizheng has a good relationship with that doctor, and he should give a reliable answer." ”

"Okay, don't worry about it yet, you're crying like this, and when they arrive, they should think something is going on in Dingsi. Fu Cheng patted Ruan Xiangyu on the shoulder and comforted her.

Having said that, Fu Cheng's expression was also very serious.

His worries were almost exactly the same as Ruan Xiangyu's.

He now also regrets letting Ruan Xiangyu leave a deputy personality back then.

He knew that so many things would happen, and he must have been desperate to stop her at the beginning.

It's a pity that now that things have come to this point, it's useless to say anything.

can only pray that Fu Dingsi will never leave after coming back this time, so that their parents can also compensate him.

**

The night passed, and Ning Jiaoyi's wound had already scabbed.

After getting up in the morning, Ning Jiaoyi realized how much pain her knees were.

After a night, the bruising on the knees was even more severe, and even some blackened.

When she got up, Ning Jiaoyi almost couldn't stand and knelt down.

Fortunately, she held on to the edge of the bed in time.

Ning Jiaoyi limped to the bathroom to wash up, and then limped downstairs again.

As soon as she went downstairs, Fu Qizheng happened to come to pick her up.

As soon as Fu Qizheng entered the door, he saw the injury on Ning Jiaoyi's leg, he suddenly showed a worried expression, and his tone became nervous: "What's wrong with your leg?

Ning Jiaoyi shook her head, not wanting Fu Qizheng to worry too much, so she said, "It's not a big deal." ”

"I'll go to the hospital for a check-up in a while, and let the doctor treat the wound for you by the way. As soon as Fu Qizheng heard Ning Jiaoyi's tone, he knew that she was being reckless, how could she be okay if she fell like this.

It hurts just to look at it.

Ning Jiaoyi knew that Fu Qizheng was well-intentioned, and she was not a person who did not distinguish between right and wrong, so she nodded and agreed.

"Let's go to the hospital first and wait for the test results. Ning Jiaoyi was now thinking about Fu Dingsi's examination results, and as for the injuries on her body, she didn't have the heart to deal with them.

Fu Qizheng was very helpless when he looked at Ning Jiaoyi like this, he helped Ning Jiaoyi into the car, and waited for her to sit down before starting the car.

.........

On the way to the hospital, Ning Jiaoyi was always restless.

She looked out the window, her face ugly.

Fu Qizheng felt that her mood was wrong.

Although she has been in a state of anxiety these days, it is not like this.

Her current state doesn't seem to be just anxious-

"What happened last night?" Fu Qizheng still couldn't hold back in the end, and asked casually.

After hearing Fu Qizheng's voice, Ning Jiaoyi's body stiffened.

Thinking of the diaries and letters, she pursed her lips again.

After hesitating, Ning Jiaoyi still decided not to tell Fu Qizheng about it for the time being.

"It's nothing, I'm just worried about the results of the test-" Ning Jiaoyi casually made an excuse, "I think he will wake up soon." ”

"You want him to wake up soon, because you're really worried about him, but you want to make yourself feel a little less guilty?" Fu Qizheng asked her pointedly, "Have you thought about how to deal with your relationship after he wakes up?"

Ning Jiaoyi's feelings for Fu Dingsi have deteriorated.

After this period of observation, Fu Qizheng can basically be sure -

She was really in love with that silly boy, not the man who was fighting for her now.

Fate is really wonderful, and I like to play tricks on people.

Ning Jiaoyi was silent by Fu Qizheng's sharp question, she lowered her head and didn't speak for a long time.

When Fu Qizheng saw Ning Jiaoyi like this, he also realized that his question was too sharp.

So, he apologized to Ning Jiaoyi: "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked you this at this time, Jiaojiao, you-"

"Actually, I don't know what to do, I just want to wake him up first, and the rest ...... I haven't thought about it yet. Ning Jiaoyi's voice sounded very weak, "I originally wanted to make it clear to him and then completely separate." ”

"Then why did you change your mind?" Fu Qizheng narrowed his eyes: "Did someone tell you anything?"

"No, there isn't. Ning Jiaoyi shook her head, "I just feel that if I do this, his disappearance will become meaningless." ”

Speaking of this, Ning Jiaoyi couldn't speak, and her tears were about to fall again.

She paused to take a breath before continuing, "The next thing he did in his life, I didn't want to make it worthless. ”

Fu Qizheng understood what Ning Jiaoyi meant, and he shook his head helplessly.

Ning Jiaoyi would have such a thought, and he was completely understandable.

However, understanding does not mean support.

Fu Qizheng didn't express his opinion, he just said to Ning Jiaoyi: "If you can't figure out what to do, you can put this matter aside first, and wait for him to wake up." The two of you can have a good conversation. ”

"He has the memory of the previous personality, he understands many things, Dingsi is a very smart person, there are some words, you don't need to say, he understands. ”

When Fu Qizheng finished speaking, the car had already stopped in the parking lot of the hospital.

Fu Qizheng turned off the fire and reminded Ning Jiaoyi: "Let's get out of the car first, let's go up and have a look, the doctor who consulted should have arrived by now." ”

After Fu Qizheng's reminder, Ning Jiaoyi found that he had parked.

She nodded, hurriedly unbuckled her seat belt, and got out of the car with Fu Qizheng.

Ning Jiaoyi was still a little unsteady when she got out of the car, and the wound on her knee seemed to be getting worse and worse.

Fu Qizheng saw that Ning Jiaoyi's expression was distorted in pain, so he walked up quickly and helped her.

Ning Jiaoyi was a little reluctant to go, "I'll go by myself......"

Fu Qizheng smiled and shook his head, "It doesn't matter, I promised Dingsi to take good care of you, if something really happens to you, he won't worry." ”

“......”

Ning Jiaoyi was suddenly speechless.

The Dingsi that Fu Qizheng said was not the person lying on the hospital bed, she knew.